Hogsmead
Saturday 29:th of april 1972
Remus sighed in exhaustion as he climbed one of the many hills on the way to hogsmeade. He was already regretting deciding to come with them. None of them had permission, seeing as they were first years. But of course that didn’t stop them.
James and Sirius had discussed the wonders of Zonkos joke-shop. It was already giving them dangerous ideas. Peter, ever the foodie, soon steered the conversation to honeydukes.
Remus had been excited to taste it all, he had quite a sweettooth. Peter painted him vivid images of creamy fudge and crunchy caramels.
They had made the plan (in all honesty Remus had made the plan) that they would transfigure themselves to look older before sneaking off with the pupils actually allowed to go there.
He and Sirius had done the research, well Sirius had been more of an annoyance really. Sirius was more than capable of doing research only he seemed to find it more amusing to test the limits of Remus patience.
He had been working on his anger issues and gotten marginally. People seemed to think he possessed some infinite patience. But really he’d just gotten better at hiding how much he wanted to thump people.
The miscalculation however was that the hogshead visit was scheduled the day after a full moon. He had managed to convince Madam Pomfrey that he’d be perfectly fine resting in his own dorm. He had of course done nothing of the sort. Instead forcing himself, much to the other’s worried looks, to go forth with the plan. Sirius had argued that he should stay behind whilst James and Peter thought they should follow through during the next hogsmead trip.
They probably thought so seeing as he was whiter than the ghosts with a sickly green sheen and sunken eyes. His hands trembling until he forced them into fists. The lids of his eyes twitching as he tried to remain awake. But probably the most present the cast on his arm.
Apparently the bones there had been so twisted and in different shards that she couldn’t fully mend them but had to use this “medieval excuse of medicine” as she put it.
They thought he couldn’t walk without suspicion in it so he took it off. But that made the damage even more apparent. He winced as the other’s eyes widened, a flush staining his otherwise bloodless face.
His arm was bent at an awkward angle and he realised he’d have to snap it back. It wasn’t the first time but that didn’t make it any more pleasant. He clenched his teeth and pulled. It was an intense sharp burn but he focused on his breathing and his gritted teeth.
Pete had gasped and James let out a weird surprised shriek. Sirius moved as if to stop him from doing anymore but he wasn’t quick enough. He managed to grit his teeth hard enough that the screams stayed lodged in his mouth, just a low whine escaping him. His arm didn’t look perfect but good enough. It ached and seamed to pulsate with pain. He was so exhausted.
“Maybe we should just stay here-“ Peter had argued.
“So i just broke back my arm for nothing? No thanks. We’ve been planning this for ages.” He shot back, feeling like a petulant child denied candy at the supermarket.
They all exchanged wary glances and he rolled his eyes, groaning at how ridiculous it was. Didn’t they understand that he had done far more challenging tasks when far more injured?
But after persuasion and having used every ounce of the manipulation skills he’d perfected over the years, he finally convinced them he was fit to do this.
Now however the only thing keeping him going was pure determination. His bones seemed to grind together in his bones. He was still freezing. Cold sweat dripping down his nose. He was so tired he was near collapsing.
Every joint creaked in protest as he walked. But his hip felt like he was being stabbed there, repeatedly. He gritted his teeth to not show signs of his struggle.
At first he’d tried to keep an even pace and had tried his utmost to not limp. Now however, it was a different story. He was panting hard and lagging behind.
Remus knew that if he just let his eyes fall shut he’d collapse right then and there. The uneven ground was already hard enough. His ankles so weak they tried to bend and make him fall.
When the others were far ahead of him, his pace growing slower and slower, Sirius ran back to him. His eyebrows were pinched. He looked concerned yet it was evident he was restraining an “i told you so”.
“I’m fine” he wheezed in between laboured breaths. He had a painful stitch in his side. The brisk air seemed harsh against his overly sensitive skin. He could feel it even through his thick jumper. Even the jumper was bothersome. Every knitted piece of Yarn seemed like a grater against his skin.
Sirius rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips with his black eyebrows raised. Those grey eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Oh sod off” he croaked, meaning it to sound forceful and mean yet it only sounded pathetic. His voice still hadn’t recovered from the hours of howling.
His lungs burned at every inhale of air. Sirius tried to push his arm above his shoulder. “Don’t touch me!”he snapped, true anger bleeding through his words.
“I can do it myself. I am capable of walking” he hissed, forcing himself to walk faster even as his whole body rebelled.
He wasn’t weak. And he couldn’t be seen as such either. His body wanted to recoil at the thought. No one could see him vulnerable. It was a death sentence. He wasn’t weak and he’d made sure everyone knew it his whole life.
Sirius eyes were wide. His face stunned and a little hurt as he ran to catch up. Well he didn’t run, didn’t even need to speed up all that much. Remus would just rather think that he had to run to catch up with him.
Remus knew that his reaction was unfair and uncalled for. That Sirius had just wanted to help him. He knew that the little tosser, despite his teasing ways, was only looking out for a friend. Yet the idea of Sirius thinking him weak set his teeth grinding.
“I am not weak” he spat, coughing as he did.
Sirius looked like he’d had some kind of revelation. But he was too angry, tired and in pain to give much thought to it.
“I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted to help you” Sirius replied. First loud and brash, harsh to his ears. But at the last words his voice died down, his gaze tilted down.
“It’s fine” he sighed, the emotion dying down. More sweat dripped down, falling in his eyes. He raised his hand and started scratching his forehead, trying to wipe away all traces of sweat.
He only succeeded in scratching through his fragile skin. Drops of blood running down his palm. He tried to rub it away but it just kept coming.
His face was turned away from Sirius, he didn’t want him to see this. His skin seemed so paper-thin that a mere scratch broke through it. The scent of his blood burned in his nostrils, especially as it continued its path over the bridge of his nose.
His head had started pounding what felt like forever ago and it only got worse as he squeezed his eyes shut against the sun reappearing behind the clouds. It was sharp and too bright. Burning his eyes like lasers.
He turned his head just to avoid the sun, forgetting about Sirius beside him. Sirius let out a low gasp as he saw his face fully since beginning the hike, having either only seen his profile or his neck.
His eyes were rimmed with red. The small cut in his forehead was scabbing up. Blood trickled in a light stream down it. Remus blinking sluggishly when it fell in his eye. His teeth were clattering from the cold he was experiencing.
Gosh he was cold. So so cold. It felt like he was naked at a winter night in the north pole.
Sirius didn’t say anything. Just wordlessly put an arm around his back, supporting yet less obviously. Remus sighed in evident relief though he tried to cover it up.
Well in hogsmead his nose burned more from all the different smells. So many people. Some with earthy natural scents. Others with perfume. Yet he could smell more than just their body. He could scent their blood and their feelings. Someone had a strangely floral scent mixing oddly with the rotten odour of the person’s disgust. The person smelled biologically female but he wasn’t entirely certain.
And all the noise. People talking, so much talking. There was laughing and whooping. The sound of shop doors opening and closing. He could even hear from inside them, the bustling of supplies on the shelves and excited murmurs. The rattle of coins changing hands.
There were so many footsteps and heartbeats pounding in his head. And the sights. There were so many bright coulors and flashing jolly lights.
It hurt so much it made him dizzy and he swayed momentarily.
Sirius righted him and he knew in that moment that he could trust Sirius. At least relatively. As much as he was capable of trust.