Chapter 5
Regulus sat on James’ lap, laughing out loud as Remus told a story about him and Sirius’ teenage years. James had his hand resting on Regulus’ thigh, and Sirius was sitting on the corner of the sofa, hiding his face in his hands.
“Hey, baby,” James called slowly, and Regulus looked at him, “When will Barty pick you up?”
“He said he's on his way,” as soon as the words left his mouth, the ring bell sounded, and Regulus jumped off James.
He watched as Sirius’ body stiffed and Regulus hurried himself towards the door.
He opened it, hearing the muffled voice behind him.
He blinked at Barty, looking at him up and down. His chest was revealed by the black lace on top. Keychains on his ripped jeans, and his hair was — green.
He frowned, letting his eyes fall from the highlights to the face. His eyes were covered by eyeliner.
“Fu— Hi.”
“You have glitter,” he looked down, “And heels.”
“What did you do to your hair?”
Barty shrugged in a smile, “Is it too much?” Regulus shook his head in a smile, hoping Barty would understand how much he wanted to kiss him right there.
“Crouch!” Remus called from the couch, and Regulus gulped before stepping back, letting Barty step in.
“Lupin!” he greeted in the same excitement, “Isn't it too early for whiskey?”
Remus rolled his eyes, taking a sip on his cup, “Some of us won't get pissed at a party tonight.”
“No long no see,” James said, biting his finger.
Regulus felt like throwing up, and his eyes fell to Sirius, who looked away.
“James,” Barty smiled, and Regulus knew it was fake.
“You look gorgeous,” his boyfriend said, and Barty laughed.
“It's a party,” he shrugged, “Your boyfriend is quite a look, too,” he pointed at Regulus.
James laughed through his nose, “You're right.”
Barty looked over to Sirius, “Hello…”
Sirius sucked his lip before looking up, “Hello, Barty. It's been a while.”
Barty nodded, “Well, we have to go… Nice night and sorry for interrupting.”
“Relax, have fun,” Remus said, and at that moment, he wanted to kiss him for help the tension go off.
Barty waved, and Regulus grabbed his bag before leaving in front of Barty.
It was silent until they were in the car, “Jesus,” Barty said once the door closed, “Your brother looked at me like he knew all my secrets.”
“He saw your penis,” Regulus muttered, “That's worse.”
“Fuck off,” Barty rolled his eyes, and started driving.
Regulus stayed quiet for a while, gazing over Barty's arm, and his almost naked chest. His hand touched his leg, close to the knee.
“Regulus,” Barty warned, like, once again, he could read his mind.
“You look so hot. Probably the hottest you've ever looked.”
“Is that a compliment?” Barty looked over to him in a laugh, and Regulus raised his hand, “Sweetheart… You're very delicious yourself, but wait until we get home, ok?”
Regulus rolled his eyes, and squeezed his thigh, “I can't wait all night,” Barty smiled, and by the way he wasn't pulling back from his touch, Regulus knew he should keep going.
“You'll have to.”
A few minutes passed, and Regulus’ hand was resting on his dick, not squeezing or trying to get inside his pants, just resting there.
“How far are we?”
“Almost there,” Regulus grunted, and pressed his hand down, hearing the way Barty sucked in a gasp, “Regulus!”
“Let me keep you warm.”
“I'm driving.”
“You said we're almost there,” he blinked innocently at him, watching how his eyes fell over the little mirror.
“You're such a brat,” he grinned, and Regulus took that as a win.
When Regulus was sure he was seeing people walking with outfits way too exaggerated for a normal night walk, Regulus hurried himself to open Barty's pants, giving him the right warning of what he intended on doing.
Barty moved his lap forward, letting Regulus place his hand inside his boxers as he pulled over, far away from the house, but still close enough to see the lights from it.
“Go on,” Barty said, “Hurry up.”
“Hey,” Regulus slapped his leg before freeing his half-hard dick, “You look like you don't want this.”
“I do, Regulus,” he looked down to his lover, “But I'm not going to lie, this would be a lot more exciting if you weren't famous… with a famous boyfriend.”
“I'm famous because of him.”
“Lies, you did some pretty nice content back then.”
“Barty, I'm about to suck your dick, can you turn on your dirty side or whatever?” Barty rolled his eyes in a laugh, and Regulus lowered his head slowly, “Watch the window,” he warned before wrapping his lips around Barty, who grunted against his hand.
Regulus almost pulled back once his stomach hit him with the realisation that he was actually almost fucking everything up. Still, he raised his hand to touch Barty's chest through the holes of the Black lace, and went forward.
Barty bucked his hips, and Regulus smiled as he felt him hardening inside his mouth. He twirled his tongue around him, and opened his jaw so it'd be easier to take more of him. He kept his eyes closed the entire time, hearing the steps and laughs from the people outside.
“Keep going,” Barty tapped his head once he felt Regulus stopping, and grabbed his hair as the boy started going lower each time, “Shit…” he whispered.
Regulus squeezed his eyes, feeling his throat closing. His brain told him he couldn't do it, but his desire encouraged him to continue. When he felt Barty's dick hitting down his throat, he choked around him, and pulled back, gasping for air.
Barty forced his head back, “Careful!” he hissed, looking down the window.
“Who was it?”
“No fucking idea, but they almost saw you,” he said. His chest going up and down.
“So you do care if James finds out?”
“I care about your feelings.”
His heart warmed, and he smiled, completely forgetting how he was literally bending over in a small car, hiding himself from people just to suck him off.
“That's romantic,” he said, wiping the drool off his chin before returning to his dick.
“Regulus, I swear to God if I wasn't in love with you, I would hate you for doing this.”
Regulus knew he was exaggerating, but still, his mind focused on the words ‘In love with you’, and wrapped them inside his brain as he tried to go all the way down again, this time even slower. He could hear Barty's quiet whimpers. He wanted to say it back, but decided to save it for when they were over with this.
Barty gripped his hair, and bucked his hips forward as Regulus started moving his head all the way up, and all the way down, occasionally choking, but not stopping.
“Where do you want me to come?” Barty asked, and Regulus pressed himself deeper against him, hoping that'd answer his question.
If it was to walk in a party with cum somewhere, Regulus preferred it was inside his mouth and not all over his hand and Barty's black pants. A few seconds passed, and Regulus felt him spilling down his throat, swallowing his moans away.
Regulus stayed there for a while, before pulling back, swallowing in a deep search for a good amount of air. He touched his own forehead with the back of his hand, and sighed.
“You're insane,” Barty said, and pulled his pants up.
“You're welcome,” he smiled, “I'm in love with you, too.”
Barty blinked at him, shocked like they haven't established that before.
“I know,” he grinned, “I want to kiss you right now, so please get out of this car.”
Regulus looked around. Oh, right. They had a party to attend.
“Okay,” he moved back, and Barty held his wrist.
“If someone asks about your flushed cheeks, say you're already tipsy,” Regulus nodded, and got out of the car, feeling the fresh, end of fall air hit his face, refreshing him from the warmth of the car.
He heard the door hitting behind him, and fixed his clothes before fixing his posture, letting his heels hit the road before heading to the sidewalk, where Barty was waiting.
He looked up at him, noticing how his heels helped their height difference a little, and nodded, as if that could equal to a kiss. They walked in silence until they were inside the party, being greeted by Dorcas, who pulled Regulus into a strong hug.
“Reggie!” she yelled, “I've missed you so much!” she pulled him away by his shoulder, and he smiled.
“Are you already drunk?”
“No, I'm just happy to see you! Oh my God, you're so pretty!” she held his hand, before looking behind his shoulder, “Barty Crouch Jr! You actually came!”
“Of course I did, Meadowes,” Regulus stepped back so they could hug. Barty squeezed her in.
“Have you actually met Emma?”
“The birthday girl?” he asked.
“Yes. Come, come with me.”
“Who's gonna watch the door?” Regulus asked, and Dorcas blinked, before asking if a random friend could do it.
“I'm sad Evan and Pandora couldn't come,” Dorcas confessed as they walked through the people, raising her voice so her friends could hear her between the loud music, “I miss when it was just us four.”
“They had other things tonight,” Barty said, “But you can enjoy me and Reg.”
“That's good enough,” she smiled over her shoulder until they were outside.
Regulus recognised Emma by her short hair and square glasses. The girl was laughing out loud with someone Regulus didn't know, and drinking something Regulus also had no idea of what it was.
“Emma!” Dorcas called, and the girl smiled once she saw her, dismissing the ginger guy to walk towards her, “This is Barty, and this is Regulus. Boys, this is Emma Vanity.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” Regulus stretched his hand, “Your movies are amazing,” he said, with a genuine smile.
“Thank you, Regulus. I've heard amazing things from you, too.”
“I'm not famous but I do have a face that makes up for it,” Barty said, making Emma take notice of him.
“Hi!” she shook his hand.
“How old are you turning?” he asked.
“26,” she said, “You?”
“I turned 24 this month.”
“Oh! Month twin,” she raised her hand so Barty would give her a high-face.
“Do you boys want drinks?” Dorcas asked, looking to her sides.
“Yes, please,” Regulus said.
“What do you want?”
“What do you have?”
“Say and I'll find it,” she smiled.
Regulus nodded, “Alright… Long Island…?”
“Got it. You?” she turned to Barty.
“Same thing,” he said.
“Got it. I'll let you three talk,” before Regulus could blink twice, Dorcas was returning to the house, with her boots covering half her naked legs.
Regulus didn't know how he ended up sitting on a couch, drinking a glass of vodka; he wasn't sure when or how he got it. His head spinned around as Barty danced around, moving his hips like he wanted the whole party to stop and watch. Some girls would approach him, and he would dance with them for a couple of seconds before walking away. Regulus appreciated that.
“So,” Dorcas started, her legs on top of Doris Purkiss’ lap, “You and golden basketball player, Potter?”
“Huh,” he blinked at her, “Oh, James.”
“Are you fine?”
“Are you and Marlene fine?” he avoided the question, and Dorcas frowned.
“We broke up,” she said, turning the glass until all the liquid was running down her throat, “You didn't reply.”
“We're okay,” he lied, realising how easy it was becoming for him, “You've watched his games on social media, right?”
“Parts of it,” she said, “He's hot, y'know?”
Regulus shook his head, “Yeah,” he said as his eyes fell on Barty, who was jumping in the middle of the people.
“And Barty? Is he dating?”
“Sort of,” he whispered.
“Oh, really?!” he turned his head. Oh, fuck.
“Yeah,” he shrugged, maintaining his lie, “Wait a few weeks and he will be showing his new boyfriend off.”
“Who?” she asked.
“You don't know the dude, Barty hasn't even shown me yet,” he smiled, taking another sip of his vodka.
“He's so possessive,” Regulus nodded.
Barty's eyes laid on him, and the boy started dancing towards him.
“Hello there,” he kneeled down, and stole Regulus’ drink.
“Barty!”
“You're not drinking,” he said.
“You're fucking drunk.”
“You too,” he argued back, taking the vodka inside his body like it was water.
Regulus stood up, blinking slowly as his brain started to spin again.
“Alright,” he said, “It's almost midnight, stop… dancing and drinking until then before you pass out.”
“Quit being dramatic, sweetheart,” Barty brushed his hands away once Regulus tried to hold his shoulders, “I'm drinking and dancing, meaning I'm letting the alcohol get through my body faster— meaning I'm not as drunk as you are, since you're sitting down and watching me like you want to fuck me right here.”
Regulus heard Dorcas laughing out loud, and rolled his eyes before pushing Barty slightly, “Let's go to the bathroom,” he said, and Barty grinned before dramatically turning around, pushing people out of the way towards the bathroom.
Barty pulled him in once Regulus closed the door, and the boy stepped back, holding his face.
“Not here, Barty,” he said, and Barty whined in dissatisfaction.
“But you're so pretty,” he said, touching Regulus’ cheek, “You're so, so, so pretty… I love you so much, you know that right?” Regulus nodded, forgetting why they were even inside that bathroom, “I've always loved you, sweetheart.”
“I wish I knew that earlier.”
“You wouldn't have loved me back.”
“My feelings were there,” he whispered, “I was just too much of a fool to notice them.”
“I hate James,” he started walking towards the sink, “Seriously, I should be holding your hand and kissing your cheek in this party so everyone would know I am committed to you.”
Regulus laughed, and walked towards Barty to touch his back, “You're so wasted.”
“I'd say this sober,” he said, looking at Regulus through the mirror, “You're— You're like this angel who accidentally was born in a human body. I see you, though. I know your identity,” Barty turned around, and pulled Regulus by his waist.
“You're the best person I've ever met,” Regulus whispered under his breath, “I literally want to marry you.”
“Then break up with James.”
“Tomorrow,” he said, kissing Barty's nose, “I can't hold much longer without calling you my boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend,” he repeated, with a smile that danced across his face, lightning the whole world up.
“Yes,” Regulus nodded, “If you want to.”
“I'd love that, but please don't propose to me while still dating someone,” he said, “Have I mentioned how much I hate James?”
Regulus chuckled, and leaned over to reach the faucet, turning the water on.
“Wash your face.”
“Fuck no!” he stepped away, “My makeup, Regulus!”
“You need to refresh yourself,” he insiste, wetting his hand. Barty kept stepping back.
“Then kiss me until I'm sober. Leave my makeup alone!”
Regulus rolled his eyes, and started splashing water into Barty's direction, who shouted as he tried to protect his face with his arms.
“Wash your face,” Regulus walked towards him, holding his arms down. Barty blinked at him, and stole him a kiss, “Alright, you really don't want to watch your face, do you?”
“Stop acting like my mom, sweetheart.”
“I just don't want you to push yourself over the edge,” Regulus sighed, feeling Barty's dry hands holding his face down. He stared at him for a couple of seconds, and then frowned.
“You wouldn't cheat on me, would you?” he asked, slowly.
Regulus felt his heart squeezing, the muffled music disappearing.
“What…?”
“When we get together… you won't find someone else, right?”
“Barty,” he shook his head, “Of course not. Don't you trust me?”
“I do,” he said, “But… you let go of James so easily…”
“Because I love you,” he held Barty's face with his wet hands, “I know I fucked up, but I'm doing this because I love you, Barty.”
Barty nodded, looking away, “I'm just scared,” he shrugged.
“I'm sorry,” Regulus pouted slightly, “I know I'm not very trustworthy at the moment, but I'll make you believe me. You're the one I want, with James in the picture, or without James in the picture.”
Barty looked at him again, his eyes shining in something Regulus couldn't tell if it was love or sadness. Maybe a mix of both.
“I want to kiss you,” he confessed.
“Kiss me,” he allowed, and Barty pressed their lips together in a soft sealing. The music returned to their ears as they did.
Barty pulled away in a sigh, “Alright, I'll stop drinking, okay?”
“Good.”
Barty didn't let a drink hit his system until 00:00 hit, and everyone started sharing shots with each other.
“Happy birthday!” they yelled around Emma, whose voice was too far from any sober reality.
Regulus looked over to Barty, blinking softly as he smiled down at him.
Eye to eye, so alive. We're beautiful, like diamonds in the sky.
Regulus grinned, thanking his heels for letting him reach Barty's neck, squeezing it softly so he would understand what he actually wished he was doing.
Barty grabbed another cup, and looked at Regulus, who nodded as he put it down.
Regulus clapped, watching how everyone had their phones out, trying to hide his fear of having his and Barty's eye contact in any story.
“Happy birthday, Emma,” he said once he felt Emma was available to hear.
“Thank you. Thank you for coming,” she said, holding his hands.
He felt Dorcas’ arms fall on his shoulder, and he looked over, “I'm literally not standing on my feet right now,” she confessed in a tired sigh, “I'm done with partying.”
“I'm sober enough to drive you home.”
“No you aren't,” she stated, “I know you. You're just really good at hiding everything, even how drunk you are,” she hit his cheek with her pointer, and he laughed.
“Alright. Are you staying?”
“Yeah,” she said, “Are you leaving?”
“Yes,” he then thought about how he was going to leave, “I might call a taxi for me and Barty,” he said, “He is way too drunk to be behind a wheel.”
“Definitely,” she looked over at Barty, who wasn't drinking or dancing, but was standing like he was putting all his concentration in standing still.
“Barty,” he called, and the boy slowly blinked at him, “I'm calling an uber or something!”
“What about my car?” he shouted like they were on opposite sides of the room.
“We'll get it tomorrow, let's go.”
Barty followed Regulus as they walked outside the house. His lungs released all the air locked inside as he reached for Regulus’ waist.
“Sweetheart,” he called as they stopped on the sidewalk. Regulus grabs his phone to call a taxi for them, “I'm way more sober now.”
Regulus couldn't say he was lying. He was better, but still far too drunk to drive.
“You're not driving.”
“I don't wanna drive,” he said, touching his waist, Regulus looked over his shoulder.
“Barty, please. Now I am the one saying for you to wait until tomorrow,” he said, putting his phone back inside his pocket, sighing at the 30 minute wait.
“I need to kiss you. Just kiss you.”
Regulus looked over his shoulder. The street was lonely, all the people inside the house, getting wasted and having fun. Regulus felt his heart racing as his eyes stopped in a dark alley just a few feet away from them.
He grabbed Barty's waist, and started walking towards it, feeling drunker than he was at the party. His back aching when Barty pressed him against the wall, kissing him with a heavy mix of drinks tasting in his mouth.
Regulus groaned, and grabbed Barty's neck, pulling him in.
“You're so soft,” he whispered, “So pretty.”
“You're mesmerising,” he said, touching his neck, “I love the green.”
“Glad you do,” he said, distributing kisses along Regulus’ jaw, “Thinking about keeping it.”
“You should,” he threw his head against the wall, letting Barty use his neck the way he wanted to.
“Mhm,” he heard, and then Barty pressed himself against Regulus, who bit his lip at the hard sensation, “I want you here.”
“We're in public,” Regulus warned.
“It's dark,” he said, “And your heels have been killing me. That glitter on your face isn't much of a help either,” he returned to his mouth, and Regulus took him with no complaints.
Regulus let his fingers enter the big holes of the black lace on top of Barty's torso, and dug his nails in his flesh as usual.
“30 minutes.”
“Can't wait to fuck you without a timer,” he murmured against Regulus’ earlobe.
“I'm serious,” he said, turning them around so Barty would be against the wall, “You're really drunk.”
“Feeling quite sober now,” he grinned, pulling Regulus by the waist.
Regulus let Barty kiss his neck again, feeling his touches lit him up.
There were a few muffled giggles far away, and Regulus stepped away slightly, “What's this?”
“People are leaving,” Barty whispered, and let his hand slide inside of Regulus’ pants. The boy threw his head back, and looked to the side. Barty did the same. Two girls running away, tripping and giggling, “See?” he grinned, and Regulus tried to come down from his jumpscare, focusing on the touch of Barty's hand.
A few more messy kisses and lazy strokes, and Regulus was being pressed against the wall, pants on his ankles and back arched. Barty was pounding onto him, moaning loudly like they were in their bedroom, with no one else to walk in on them. Regulus threw his head back, and then pressed it against the wall.
“Fuck,” he moaned, “So hot.”
“I know,” Barty pressed his fingers on the end of Regulus’ back even harder, “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
He felt Barty kissing his shoulders, and then his cheek. Regulus opened his mouth in a silent moan, and rocked his hips backwards.
“Please tell me you're gonna marry you.”
“I will,” he said, “And it's not a lie. I will marry you, any day you want. Tomorrow— fuck. Next month. Fucking January 1st,” he rolled his eyes.
“I love you,” he repeated, again and again, until he was coming down Regulus’ insides, followed by the loud screams of the other boy.
Inside the taxi, Barty fell asleep on Regulus’ lap, while Regulus fought to stay awake as he touched the boy's hair, watching the green fade away.
He does need to keep this color; he thought.
Barty woke up to climb the stairs, but was silent until his body fell on Regulus’ bed, humming before immediately falling back to sleep. Regulus took off his shoes, and then his clothes, lying down next to Barty and letting his body turn off.
Regulus woke up to his phone aggressively buzzing next to his head. He frowned, blinking slowly before letting the headache sit in.
His phone buzzed again, and again.
Regulus picked it, squeezing his eyes at the light.
There was James’ name all over it. He quickly opened the chat.
[09:13] Regulus.
[09:13] Regulus wake tf up
[09:13] This is serious.
[09:15] Wake up!
[09:15] If you don't answer I am coming over and idc if you're hangover or not
[09:15] Regulus.
[09:15] Come to my house immediately.
[09:15] WAKE UP!
Regulus blinked, one time, and then six times. New messages popped up and he hurried himself out of the bed.
Barty was still sleeping, and he decided to let it stay like that. He wrote a quick reply, and got himself dressed in the first thing he laid his eyes on, turning his phone silent so James’ texts wouldn't bother him.
Fuck.
Fuck a hundred times.
He tried remembering his night clearly, but it was almost all flashes, scenes holding each other on a thin line.
There was the car, and then Dorcas. Emma, and a lot of drinks. He remembered how Barty danced, and how he denied washing his face. How they kissed and told each other about the love they held inside their chests. Less drinking, and then screams of happy birthday. A soft share of looks, and Barty and him in the dark alley. Barty telling him how much he loved him as they fucked against the wall.
He bit his lip. Maybe— no. No, James wouldn't find out.
James couldn't know. There was no way of him knowing. His fingers pressed tightly around the wheel — he was going to tell James.
Whatever it was, no matter how urgent it was. He is going to tell him the truth.
He kept telling himself that as he left the car, running towards the door. He knocked, but the wood didn't resist his touch before opening it. Regulus frowned, stepping in.
The muffled screen giggles being shut down as he sees James biting his finger, looking up.
“What the fuck happened?” he snapped, shutting the door before standing there.
James got up, with a confused look, “Haven't you seen?”
“Seen what?”
James sighed, handing Regulus his phone.
He pressed his eyebrows together as his brain registered the video playing.
It was blurry, but he could see two boys kissing against a wall, “Is that Regulus Black?” he heard a drunk whisper, “Do you think so?” another voice said. Regulus’ heart dropped at the sigh of Barty burying his face on Regulus’ neck. He heard more giggles, and his brain hit him with the exact moment he saw himself stuffing, mouthering something with no apparent reply. Barty slides his hand inside his pants, and the video was zoomed in on it, like they were waiting for that to happen. Gasps were heard and there was a loud beep before continuing, “—leave. That's enough, turn that off,” the last thing he saw was his head turning around, and the video stopped the second it started recording the floor. Regulus gulped, staring at the frozen video.
“James—”
“Couldn't you keep it fucking quiet?!” he heard a loud shout, and he looked up.
“What?”
“Fucking Christ,” he rubbed his face, “Everyone is talking about it, Regulus! Everyone.”
“I'm sorry! I was planning on telling you. It was a mistake— not him. Us. Me. I made a mistake with you, and I am so, so sorry.”
James raised his hand, shutting him down, “Barty,” he said, “I knew it was him, but, please…”
James sat down, staring at the floor. Regulus swore his head would explode in stress.
“I'm so sorry, James,” he breathed out, “You don't deserve this. I— fuck. I love him. I really do, but I didn't mean to…”
“I don't care, Regulus,” he looked up, and Regulus frowned, stepping back slowly, “I don't give a fuck about that right now. That video is everywhere, and it's a scandalous one,” James stood up again, walking back and forth in a line. His teeth hitting his finger multiple times.
Regulus felt his heart breaking, and the will to cry leaving his body. He knew James didn't care about him, not really — still, hearing him saying it was terrible. He didn't seem sad, or disappointed. Just, and purely stressed out.
“I cheated on you,” Regulus said.
“No shit,” the boy laughed.
“I cheated on you and you're caring about other people?” Regulus shouted, “Are you fucking serious?! Scream at me! Tell me how disgusting I am!”
“I am fucking Evan!” his angry voice shut Regulus down. And he blinked, and blinked, “But at least I knew how to fucking hide it from paparazzi and drunk ass people who only care about drama, Regulus! You found out we suck together?” he started clapping, “Congratulations, you're late to the fucking party.”
“What?”
“We don't love each other anymore, Regulus. We both know that for over a fucking year or more; still, I kept it quiet because I didn't want to stress myself out, I didn't wait to deviate attention from my career.”
A laugh bursted out of Regulus’ lungs, and he pressed his hands against his eyes. Wake up. Please, Regulus, wake up.
“You didn't want to stress yourself?” he looked at James again, “You let the relationship fall into pieces, you… You're with Evan?!”
“You can't be mad at me, no. You literally cannot be mad at me when the whole country and more, saw Barty touching your dick in public!”
Regulus turned around, he couldn't stand the sight of James right now. He took a deep breath, letting the short silence calm him down.
“You could've broken up with me, and we wouldn't announce it until you weren't in the highlights.”
“We're both too in love with them for that, Regulus,” he heard, “Are you going to tell me you would be able to play pretend? Hold my hand, kiss my lips while Barty is waiting for you?!”
Regulus turned around, letting the words sink in, “You're in love with Evan?”
Regulus couldn't quite believe that part. Imagining that James had been cheating on him was sort of relieving, but the thought of him doing that with Evan, was crazy.
Still, somehow that made more sense than Evan just deciding to play along with his secret without asking what it was.
James let his eyes drop to Regulus’ feet, and then up, “Don't judge me.”
“This is insane,” he giggled, “This isn't happening. Someone drugged me and this is the side effect,” he whispered to himself, as if that would make it true.
“Move on,” James said, “Let's save the explanations for later. Your face is everywhere, and soon enough people will link Barty's outfit to that fucking video and he will get attacked.”
Regulus blinked at him, “I should've let Sirius tell you.”
“He did,” James confessed, “He did, but he didn't say with whom. I knew already, I knew from the moment you showed up with a turtleneck that wasn't yours, a smell that wasn't yours and stinking like makeup.”
Regulus reminded how James had blinked at him the moment he said Evan was sick, and felt embarrassment fill his chest. He closed his eyes to breathe in, “I'm sorry.”
“I don't care,” he said, “I care about what we're going to do now.”
When both decided the shouting was enough, they sat in silence on the couch. James sighing against his hands and Regulus on the corner, looking at the sun through the window.
He analysed James. His large back moving up and down slowly as he calmed himself down, and his hair all over the place from how he kept running his fingers through it.
Evan, he then thought. A laugh escaped him as he kept feeling way more dumb each second. So many tears, so many wine bottles being all drunk up in the night, worrying about James hating him for cheating — just for him to be doing the same with one of his best friends.
James turned his head to him, pressing his eyebrows at the sudden giggle.
“Sorry,” Regulus rushed to justify, waving his hand in front of James’ face, “It's just— I don't know. We're like so fucked up we decided to cheat instead of talking.”
James smiled softly, and nodded, “I'm sorry,” he finally said, for the first time since Regulus walked inside that large living room, “I should've talked with you when it happened.”
“When did it happen?” he softly questioned, “Was it when you found out about me cheating on you?”
He felt even dumber when James laughed and threw himself back on the couch.
“It was the night I went to that event,” he muttered, covering his eyes with the bend of his arm. Regulus frowned, “The Emmeline Vance one.”
Regulus looked around, trying to remember that night. When his mouth opened to ask, it hit him.
End of August.
It hit him again.
End of August.
“You're kidding,” he finally replied, and James groaned.
“I know,” he moved back up, looking at Regulus this time, “I fucking know it.”
“But how?”
Jame shrugged, taking off his glasses, “I guess I started fancying him after we decided to try and be friends again.”
His shirt was passing around the lenses as he looked straight to Regulus.
“I know you two had a fight during the New Year's,” he said, “And I know it took you a while to talk again, but… falling for him?”
The boy grinned, “You're not the one to blame me. How did you end up on that alley, anyway?”
His cheeks burned red at the memory, “It was the night of his birthday, after we had that fight because of the game. I called him, started complaining about your awful sex and we had this thing through the phone.”
“Terrible sex?!” James put his glasses back on, and Regulus nodded. It was good admitting it, “My sex is not terrible.”
“James, yes it is. It's the worst thing ever,” he laughed as the other punched his leg.
“With you,” he corrected, “I was bad with you.”
“Oh, so you're amazing with Evan, then?”
“He never complained,” Regulus rolled his eyes at his stupid arrogance, “That makes sense,” James ended up saying, “That lunch was the next day.”
“You really caught me on the second day,” Regulus laughed through his nose.
“Well, I was fully aware Evan wasn't sick, so I think that confirmed my thoughts.”
Regulus sighed, grabbing his phone to check the time. 10:57. He bit his down lip, worrying about Barty and how he had left him in his house without a note. However, his eyes fell on his contact name almost immediately.
[10:00] Good morning??? where tf are u
[10:10] Fuck
[10:10] Where are you
[10:10] Are u okay?????
[10:10] Fuck Reg I'm so sorry
[10:10] This is my fault
[10:10] Fuck pls answer me, love
[10:12] Tell me ur okay
[10:12] Jesus Regulus fucking answer me I'm gonna have a heart attack sweetheart
[10:19] Regulus?
[10:19] I'm so terribly sorry for what I did
[10:19] I was irresponsible
[10:19] I'm so sorry
[10:19] Shit.
Regulus felt his heart breaking into pieces. He had put his phone in silence mode so as not to be disturbed by what he thought were James’ messages. He had put Barty through having to figure things out all by himself.
“Do you mind if I call Barty?” Regulus softly asked, and James got up.
“Go ahead, I have to talk to some people as well.”
He didn't watch James leaving for long. His heart raced at the thought of Barty not picking up.
He did.
Almost immediately.
“Regulus!” he breathed out, “Where are you?! What happened?”
“I'm okay,” Regulus stated, “I'm sorry I left without saying anything. James called me over and I immediately came here to tell him the truth but— yeah.”
“Fuck. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he reassured, “James already knew.”
“What? How?”
Regulus giggled, “I'll explain everything when we're in person, okay? Me and James are trying to figure out what we're going to do now that everyone knows about me and you.”
There was silence in the other line, “You still want to be with me?”
Regulus frowned as he felt his stomach falling and breaking apart inside him.
“Why are you asking me that?”
“I mean—” he sniffed, “I was the one who made this happen. You should be mad at me for ruining your reputation.”
“Barty. My reputation has never been worse, but I couldn't care less about that right now,” he said, “I'll let future me worry about it, but right now I am thinking about us. About what we're going to do, if we will have to don't be publicly together for a while, if… if.”
Regulus played with the end of his shirt, pressing his feet against the couch as he waited for an answer.
“I'm sorry,” he said in a shaky voice.
“Are you crying?” he sat straight.
“I just didn't mean for this to happen. I fucked up your relationship with James, with your brother, and now with the public.”
Regulus had to roll his eyes, “Are you still drunk?”
“Regulus,” he scolded in a laugh.
“Me and James are fine. Sirius… well, we do have some things to sort out, and the rest… we will see, yeah?” he could feel Barty nodding, “I love you. Me and you will be fine, I promise I won't let people hate you for something you don't have the guilt of.”
“50%” he said.
“Fine, 50%.”
“I'm staying here in your house, alright?”
“I'll be home in a while. Kisses.”
“Bye, love.”
“Bye,” he said under his breath before hanging up.
Sitting next to James now was way less awkward now, which sounded hilarious. James’ shoulder was touching Regulus’ as he looked at the boy's screen.
“Look at this one,” James pointed, “Who the fuck cheats on the James Potter?”
“We're trying to find a solution and see how bad this is. You keep reading comments that compliment you, James.”
“I'm sorry. I just thought they had a point,” he shrugged, and Regulus rolled his eyes.
“I haven't seen a picture of Barty yet, just people pointing out the obvious.”
“That's good, no?”
“Yes, very good,” Regulus confirmed, “But makes me anxious, because what if they actually know it is Barty but it hasn't reached big accounts yet?”
James rolled his eyes, “Stop worrying so much, will you?”
“James, I'm serious!” he looked at him like his eyes could cut his head in half.
“Fine,” he snorted, and Regulus turned to the phone, scrolling a little more, entering hashtags and accounts that commented a lot about it on other posts. The video has shown up so much Regulus could barely remember the moment from his own point of view anymore.
Some people discussed the identity of the girls recording the video, as the name mentioned in it was redacted since the original post. Regulus didn't care about that right now, so he ignored and ignored. Posts after posts questioning if it was really Regulus. He kept seeing about the same topic until someone shared a screenshot from a story, where Regulus is standing next to Barty, in the background of two people dancing. They're talking to each other, Barty grinning with a cup on hand and Regulus holding the back of his neck to whisper something in his ear. Regulus didn't even remember that moment, he kept scrolling until someone shared another screenshot of the video, rounding the keychains and the green highlights, and the story with the same circles.
He read: I think is this guy, yall…. ik about the color theory but
And then a comment: Shit, that's Barty no?
And another: Who is Barty?
The reply was attached with 4 pictures of him and Barty, and a: His best friend! They've been friends since High-school. He's not a public figure but Regulus used to post him a lot before deactivating Instagram :/
“Fuck,” James said as soon as Regulus finished reading it.
The boy let out a tired sigh, his heart gnawing in regret. It was difficult to take a coherent attitude when he was around Barty, his heart spoke louder than his head and his rational side. The despair of having him close, all the time, at any moment, was greater than the reality and the possible consequences of facing — now, he had stuck Barty in the middle of the media, in the worst possible way. Barty didn't deserve it. He was not a public figure, never was. Like Regulus, he loved anonymity, and peace itself. Regulus felt terrible for making him an enemy to an entire fanbase.
“Real ones saw it coming…” Regulus tried to find the post James was reading, “I don't know if I should feel attacked or not.”
If the situation hadn't been worrying, Regulus would have laughed.
“Guess we'll have to wait it out,” he said, “This is still fresh. If we're lucky, no one will pay attention to this.”
Logically, it was difficult to ignore a post as well done and accurate as that one. Of all the theories, associating the boy in the video with the boy who had the same outfit made the most sense — and so, associating with Regulus's best friend made even more sense. He knew that deactivating his account wouldn't change anything. The photos might not officially be on his profile anymore, but a quick Google search would show old photos of him and Barty.
Two and a half hours were enough for gossip accounts to respond to the prints and create theories. Regulus drove home, hoping Barty was still there. He had his cell phone turned off next to him, trying to soothe his brain throbbing from last night's alcohol and this morning's stress.
His legs were quick, taking longer steps than usual as he climbed the stairs of his old building. He entered the house and immediately saw Barty sitting on his couch, phone to his ear and hand over his lips. As soon as he saw Regulus, his expressions relaxed.
“Yeah— okay. Yes, thank you, Cas, I will. I love you, bye,” he hung up, throwing his phone to his side before standing up, practically running towards Regulus.
Once close enough, the shorter boy grabbed his face, giving him a long, lingering peck. He felt Barty holding onto his wrists, stroking his skin with his thumb before pulling away.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
Regulus nodded. He wasn't completely okay, but he couldn't worry Barty any more. The boy was clearly stressed, still wearing his clothes from the day before and reeking of alcohol. Regulus knew he hadn't even taken the time to shower.
“Yes, don't worry about me,” he slowly dropped Barty's face, “Do you want to sit down? I will explain everything to you.”
And so, he did. Regulus made sure to be clear, explaining point by point. Barty listened silently, sometimes reacting with his eyebrows, but always silent, waiting for his lover to finish his thought. He could see Barty's body relaxing as he focused on the good parts, and the resolution.
“Okay…” he said once Regulus was done, “So you're telling me that Evan and James… they've been together for— how long?” he pressed his eyebrows together.
“Three months,” he reminded him, and Barty let his back hit the couch, forcing a sigh.
“I can't believe that.”
“Me neither, but James didn't seem to be joking. He was really upset about everything, but not exactly about being cheated on. He just didn't want anyone to know.”
Barty pressed his lips onto a thin line, “I am trying to see his side, but it just feels very selfish of him, to not tell you anything just to protect his image.”
“I am afraid we don't have a say in what is selfish or not,” he saw Barty nodding in slow motion.
“Do you think it's going to work? The plan?”
Regulus didn't know. It could go extremely well, or extremely badly. At best, they would think it was all marketing.
“I think so,” he decided to say, trying to pass security onto Barty, “James just has to make sure we can do it. Although I know he will anyway.”
“Maybe you should talk with Evan first,” he suggested, and Regulus blinked. Talk to Evan.
He didn't even know what to say to Evan. Getting upset wasn't an option given the current situation. Either way, he felt, slightly, betrayed.
“Yeah,” he said, “I'm going to text him—” before Regulus could grab his phone, Barty continued.
“In person. You two should talk about it in person.”
“Barty…”
“Regulus, you can't act like this situation is fine in any way. You two were mutually cheating— that's insane.”
Perhaps the fact that James and Regulus were both having hidden romances was what made the most sense for the degrading state of their relationship. For that reason, Regulus couldn't act as if it wasn't somehow a relief to know that he wasn't the only one who messed up. For him, this situation was the best of the options that had ever lived in his head, and that was really weird from an outsider perspective — he realised that now.
After Regulus nodded in Barty's reaction, the boy stood up, walking straight to the bathroom in order to finally get himself cleaned.
[12:40] Hey, Evan. Can we meet up?
[12:50] Hi. Yes, of course. Where?
[12:52] Somewhere quiet, if that is cooler with you
[12:52] Do you want to meet at my aunt's coffee shop? It's quiet, u know it.
[12:52] Sure. Can I leave now?
[12:52] Yes!!
Leaving the house was uncomfortable. Regulus knew he wasn't relevant enough to turn the faces of everyone who passed by him, but still, he could tell the difference between ordinary looks, and judgments.
Few people stopped on their way to pick up their cell phones, or poke the person next to them, but still, Regulus felt his entire body burn.
Evan was already sitting at a table in the corner of the cafe when Regulus entered. The boy raised his hand in a mirthless smile and Regulus hurried to sit across from him.
“Hey,” he breathed out, taking off his sunglasses to put them to rest on top of the table.
“I'm afraid I already know why you called,” he drummed his fingers on the table, and Regulus nodded in a single movement.
Your heart was beating fast, shame hanging over both boys as they stared at each other. Regulus had no idea how to start a conversation about his ex-boyfriend having an affair with one of his closest friends.
“James told me, well, 50% of it. Still, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Look,” he sighed, “I know I don't have any excuse,” he leaned forward, “But— I really li— love him. You have the right to be upset at me—”
“I'm not,” he interrupted, and Evan blinked in his direction before swallowing hard.
“I didn't think a lot. I started fancying him this summer, and, Lord, Regulus, no one knows how bad I felt. I thought about pushing him away, but he kept getting closer and closer to me; when I realised, we were already tangled in this messy situation. It went on for months, and I really thought it was just sex for him, I tried to finish it for the sake of our friendship,” he pointed to both of them, “But he said he loved me, and… I couldn't let go of him.”
Regulus listened patiently, searching for the right words in his head. He understood what Evan was trying to say, if anyone was aware of the mixed sensation between guilt and love, it was Regulus.
“I am not here to fight you, Evs, I have no right to. I just wanted to have this conversation with you, because I don't think it's something we should ignore.”
“I know.”
“You messed up, I won't say you didn't; but I messed up as well. My relationship with James was falling apart, and it's obvious we would've ended up falling for other people.”
“I still think I should've told you right at the start,” he muttered, throwing his body back, this time, more relaxed.
“It's hard to admit stuff like this,” he stated, and bit his lower lip, “I just don't want things to get weird between us because of this. We are grown up and we have to face the consequences of it.”
“Of course,” he shook his head, “I just…” a sigh ripped through his chest, “I just really want to apologise.”
It was impossible not to forgive. Even if Regulus had never been with Barty, he would never have been able to cut Evan out of his life. Never.
“I hope he treats you right, that's all.”
“He does,” he smiled softly, and Regulus returned it, “James never meant to hurt you, though,” Regulus pressed his eyebrows together, nodding, “Like, if so, he was the first one to have really bad moments because of it. He just didn't know what was the right thing to do— he tried to protect both of you, but then he found out about you and Barty,” Evan sucked his lower lip, “And I think that was when he decided that maybe you could've kept dating while loving other people. He wasn't even sure if you were in love with the person you were with, but last night, when the video started going around…”
“I love him,” he confirmed, “And we both made terrible decisions, me and James, but I'm afraid none of us have the right to judge each other. My main worry right now is Barty.”
“What about your parents? Do you think they've seen it?”
A melancholy laugh escaped his nose. It was almost impossible for them not to see it. Even though they never used the Internet much, Walburga and Orion loved keeping both eyes on their children, no matter where they were. If it had been a few years ago, Regulus would have panicked, but now he had the freedom not to care.
“They can't do anything,” he said, and Evan took a deep breath, “I hope they feel even more disappointed than the day I came out.”
He saw the corner of Evan's lip rising, and he looked to the side, seeing people peacefully drinking their coffees. Regulus then thought about how no one has any idea what's going on in other people's lives. Someone there could be going through the worst day of their life, and no one would even dream about it.
“Do you want to order something?” his friend asked, and Regulus looked at him.
“A coffee would be perfect.”
Regulus could tell that things had worked out. Just a few days later, James took advantage of the drama to confirm the breakup between him and Regulus, and if it weren't for Barty, he would have stayed in bed for the rest of his life. All he saw online was people talking bad about him, and Barty—which really hurt.
To everyone, he was just another slut who got in the way of such a long and cherished relationship. Regulus wanted to shout from the rooftops all the good things about Barty, about how he was anything but a bad person. He didn't care about being called names, hated. They were just consequences of his actions, but no one in the world deserved less hate than Barty.
A month later, things were relatively calmer. Barty still avoided posting on his Instagram, always receiving notifications from people who didn't know how to control their tongue. He didn't want to admit it, but Regulus knew, deep down, that he was tired. Even though he was single, Barty still needed to be a secret. They still only had to see each other behind closed doors, never with friends.
It hurt. He wanted to finally be able to hold his boyfriend's hand and kiss him under the December snow. He wanted to be able to take him to parties, dance with him, love him — but he couldn't, not yet.
Around New Year's time, Regulus and James were completely sure that everyone would see them together. Sitting at tables, laughing with friends, sharing drinks. He felt jealous whenever Evan was there, because even though they were also hiding it, he could be present, and Barty couldn't.
He read some comments, people finding James and Regulus' friendship strange, how James spoke about him without any hate in his heart. It was confusing, and half couldn't believe that everything was actually okay, because at the end of it all, Regulus had betrayed, broken, torn apart his heart.
“I miss you so much,” Regulus whispered one night, lying on Barty's naked chest.
“I'm here,” he replied.
“I miss having you with me outside of our houses,” he corrected, looking up. Barty's eyes still so shiny and calming.
“One day, sweetheart.”
After a few months, Barty and Regulus made the decision to stop hiding. The moment the first photo of them holding hands outside a market appeared, everything came flooding back. People were once again angry, shocked, others happy.
Regulus looks so in love 🥺
Can't believe he still has the audacity to show up w his new bf, LMAO
james would be happy that he is happy, so who am I to hate
wtf did he see on this dude 😭
look at regulus’ eyes :(( <3
if he cheated to be with you, he WILL CHEAT ON YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
i ship it idc
It was so tiring. Regulus could swear that they would never be happy, always haunted by their mistakes and irresponsible attitudes. He couldn't call it unfair, he knew he deserved it, but Barty didn't. Barty always tried to be smart, to protect Regulus — but he was too in love to think straight.
Around a year later, James and Evan had already come out. People had a new couple to adore, but still, Regulus felt that he would never be disconnected from the previous November.
During these times, he wrote immense poems, finally returning to the past where writing calmed his mind. He started doing this at all times, with Barty hugging his empty torso after a night full of love, or during the afternoon, watching a movie with him. Often alone. He had pages and pages written, and in the end, he ended up going back to his Instagram, posting one or two poems; ignoring certain comments.
His brain had already gotten used to it. Many people might be happy with his return, but others would never forgive — and that was okay, because a part of him wouldn't forget either.
“Why don't you publish a book?” Barty asked once, sitting on the couch as Regulus put down his computer.
The boy blinked in his direction, finding Barty fidgeting with their commitment ring.
“A book?”
“Yes, with your poems,” he shrugged, “They're amazing, and you have people that love and wait for your new posts– it'd be nice if you published a book full of your poems.”
The idea settled in his head. He didn't tell her anything, just that he would think about it. The conversation was never brought up again, but, just a year and a half later, he was handing Barty the first copy of his book, at the end, written "To my forever beloved, BCJ."