Chapter 3
Another day. No replies from Barty and kissing James was making him feel sicker every time.
James held his hand on the park, while Remus and Sirius fought over the last gummy on the sack. These double dates were no help for his mental health.
Regulus let go of James’ hand, burying him in the front pockets of his pants.
“Why doesn't Reg eat it?” James suggested.
“No! It's mine.”
“Sirius, you ate more than me.”
“No!” he fought back, and Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Please, love…”
Sirius stopped, and then repeated, “No.”
“Alright,” Regulus stood up, taking the gummy out of Remus’ hand before throwing it into his mouth, “Done!”
“Fuck you!”
“This is unbelievable,” James laughed, and Remus rolled his eyes before sitting next to him.
“I hope the cameras caught this audacity of yours, Regulus.”
“Whatever, Sirius.”
“That reminds me of that picture I sent you a few months ago,” he grabbed his phone, “Remember? The one where I was eating a gummy bear with Remus? Like breaking it in a half?”
“We should've done that,” the other commented.
“Which picture?” James asked.
“Fuck,” Sirius complaint, placing the phone on his pocket, “I changed my phone. Do you still have it, Reg?”
Regulus thought about it for a while. He never deletes the chats, so it was probably still there.
“I think so.”
“Can I search?” he asked, but already stretched his hand in wait for the phone. Regulus shrugged, handing him it.
“I wanna see that picture now,” James said, and Regulus laid his head on his shoulder.
“You shouldn't. They were shirtless,” he laughed through his nose.
“It was in the morning,” Remus defended himself, “It's not like we fuck all the time, mind you.”
“I just said that it was gross to think about my brother sleeping shirtless with another man.”
James barked in a laugh, and Remus rolled his eyes.
“Wow, you're forgetting you have a boyfriend!” James accused, looking down as Regulus smiled at him.
“Well, it's different with you,” he kissed his lips.
“Gross,” Remus said, but James just kept kissing him. Regulus held his jaw, and pulled away, pressing his lips in a thin line before turning to Sirius.
The boy had his eyes locked on the screen, and his finger was going up rapidly.
“Haven't you found it yet?” Regulus asked, and Sirius lifted his eyes. Head in the same position.
He didn't smile, or even say anything funny, instead, he cleaned his throat, “Can you come with me to the store? I really want more gummies.”
“We'll come—” before James could get up Sirius raised his hand.
“No. Stay right here. Regulus, with me,” he pointed his head to the opposite direction where they were, and his entire body froze.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Please tell me you weren't noisy.
The boy gulped before standing up, reminding himself that every movement could be suspicious. Maybe Sirius saw something else, something that wasn't related to Barty.
However, nothing would make Sirius so angry like he was now, walking in fast steps. After a few seconds, Regulus started thinking they were actually going to the store, but Sirius abruptly stopped behind a tree, looked down at the phone and turned the screen in Regulus’ direction.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” he shouted, and Regulus trembled.
His eyes laid on a chat that was definitely not his and Sirius’. He recognised the “Sweetheart” almost immediately.
“Sirius—” he tried.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he repeated, “You're… You're cheating! You're cheating on James?”
Regulus opened his mouth, “No!”
“Don't lie! I just read this shit.”
“Why did you read my messages, you prick?!”
“He texted you!” Sirius said, and Regulus blinked, relaxing his face, “Oh, you're interested now?”
“Give me my phone back, Sirius.”
“Not until you explain this.”
“It's complicated, you wouldn't understand—”
“How can you? Tell me how do you have guts to be with James while doing this to him on his back? He loves you, Regulus. Also, Barty?!”
Regulus closed his eyes, looking around to make sure no one could recognise them, “Lower your voice,” he asked through his teeth.
“Fuck that!” Regulus sucked his breath at the even louder response, “You are disgusting, Regulus! I didn't expect this from you, I really didn't,” he took a deep breath, pressing Regulus’ phone against his chest. His look was filled with anger, disgust, disappointment, “How long have you been doing this?”
“It happened,” he opened and closed his mouth, “It happened last week,” he muttered, “But it didn't last. The next day we had a fight and it was over. It's over, Sirius!”
“It doesn't seem like it, seen by your stupid drunk messages,” he spitted out, “Fuck you. Really, Regulus, fuck you. How do you expect me to believe you haven't been fucking him longer than you're telling me.”
“I'm telling the truth.”
“You're clearly not in position to talk about being honest here, Regulus,” and then, he raised his eyebrows, “Oh, that's it. Yeah. That's it, at the pizzeria, when you started rambling about Evan being sick! I knew you were fucking lying, but I decided to believe you. I thought that maybe something happened with our parents and you were just keeping it to yourself,” he pushed Regulus, who was still holding his phone, “Am I right?” Regulus didn't reply, or blink, afraid a tear would roll if he did, “Tell me!”
“Yes!” he shouted, “Yes, you are! But I'm telling you, it ended that day.”
“So it was just a one night stand, huh?” he tilted his head, “So many years with James put in trash for a quick fuck with your best friend!” Sirius pushed him again, and Regulus started shaking his head, “Then what is it?! Fucking speak!”
“It wasn't a one night stand!” he replied, “It wasn't.”
“Oh, you love him?” his voice was drowning in fake empathy.
“Yes…” he mouthered, and Sirius chuckled.
“Fuck you,” he said, “I'm going back to James, I'm going to tell him you have to hurry home. Tell him by tomorrow or I will tell him myself, because differently from you, I can't lie to the people I love… if you ever loved James,” Sirius started walking away, and Regulus allowed himself to let the tears escape.
He looked as the boy walked in the direction they came from, and grunted before looking at his phone while his face was getting wet by the tear drops.
[19:20] Coming over. We need to talk. Now.
Regulus was afraid he would crash his car if he kept driving and closing his eyes to cry his soul out. Everything was a mess, and it was his fault. Just a week prior he was having fun at Barty's birthday, not knowing that night would wreck everything completely.
All of his choices were not ending well, from calling Barty, to going to his house in the morning, to lying to James, to fighting with Barty, and then getting drunk and confessing some stupid love to him.
He hit his hand on the steering wheel, listening to the loud beep echoing in the lonely street. He got out of his car, wiping his tears as they kept falling. He wanted to punch and break everything, but he couldn't.
He got inside the building, and climbed the stairs to find Barty sitting there, on his phone. The boy turned his head, and Regulus wanted to punch him until he was bleeding.
“Thought you'd never come— Regulus?” he stood up, “Hey, what's wrong?”
He walked towards him, trying to touch his face, but Regulus pushed him away.
“Leave! I don't want to talk to you.”
“Did James find out?”
“Sirius! Sirius found out,” he said, and walked past him to open his house door, leaving it open for Barty to close.
“Shit,” he heard, “Fuck, I'm sorry.”
“He's gonna tell James,” he said, and Barty gulped, blinking fast like he was searching for the right words, “Why?”
“Regulus,” the boy pushed him again, and Barty just took it.
“I was fine! I was perfect until last week happened.”
“You weren't,” Regulus couldn't say that was a lie, but he still let his keys fall to the floor.
“Fuck you!” he screamed.
“Regulus, don't start again. This isn't only my fault.”
“Why did you even come here?” he asked, wiping his tears again.
“Because I wanted to tell you the truth.”
“But I know the truth. You wanted to fuck me, and so you did, and now you're upset because I told you you were also guilty.”
“Regulus, stop it,” he firmly said, “You put all the blame on me. You said I was manipulating you, that's fucking sick!” Regulus gulped, and took a deep breath, “You and James are not right for each other and you know that! You don't like him,” he started hitting his pointer on Regulus’ chest, “It was a matter of time until someone else fucked you. This would've happened anyway!”
“No!” he shouted on his face, “It wouldn't, because it was you,” he pushed him, “I fucked you, and if it wasn't you and that stupid call, and my stupid choices of wanting you to talk, I wouldn't have cheated on James!”
Barty licked his lips, taking a deep breath, “Well, I'm sorry, then. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm sorry that you can't understand that,” he pushed him by the shoulders, “You're the one in a fucking relationship, and you have more than 70% of the responsibility here!”
“Yeah! Blame me for cheating like you weren't drooling over it. Like you didn't slap me so James would see it!”
Barty grinned, “I'm leaving, then.”
Regulus held his wrist, “No. No, fight me but don't leave me. I hate you so much right now, but I can't stand you ignoring me more times.”
Barty pulled away, “You're a mess, Regulus. I came here to confess my feelings for you, and tell you that I was here to help you go through your thing with James in case you wanted to break up. I didn't came here to fuck, but to be honest with you and take my blame as long as you were capable of taking yours,” Regulus sobbed, looking at his eyes, “I'm really sorry about Sirius, but I won't stay if you're like this.”
Regulus stepped forward, and let his head rest on Barty's arm, “I'm sorry,” he whispered, “I know I'm a mess. I'm sorry, Barty,” he didn't reply, “I tried breaking up with him, but I'm scared. I don't want anyone to hate me.”
“Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Not like this,” he looked up, and Barty met his gaze, “I've fucked everything up. I lied to everyone and now I've dragged my brother into this as well.”
“Sirius can't tell him.”
“He will.”
“He can't,” Barty replied, “I know it must be hard, they're best friends but— it's not his place to tell him. That's something you guys have to talk about.”
Regulus nodded, hoping that was true, hoping that Sirius would let him do it.
“I don't know how to tell him,” his face was burning with tears as Barty held him, wiping them away. It was soft, emotional, “Please be patient with me.”
“It's okay.”
“I love you,” Regulus reached for his neck, pulling him into a hug, “I love you so much, Barty.”
“I love you too…”
“I'm sorry,” he said again, and Barty shook his head, “You weren't manipulating me, and I swear I didn't say those things in the heat of the moment.”
“I know…”
“What were you planning on saying when you got here?” he asked, pulling away as he used his own arm to wipe away the wetness of his nose.
Barty sighed, “Remember when you asked me for how long I had been thinking about being with you? In that call?” Regulus nodded, “It was since that day you slept next to me when I was sick, and helped me in every way you could. You— you cared about me, and I realised that I cared more about you than I thought I did,” he confessed, “But then James happened, and I never had the chance to tell you how I felt. That night, I just— I was…” he closed his eyes, “I was so lost in hope you would just break up with James the next day, because I told you there was no going back, and you agreed. You didn't, and I got mad, and sad. Then we fucked and I was so upset that James was still with you I just tried to… sabotage you, and I know that sucks,” Regulus watched him as he placed his hands on his front pockets, “But I hate the way I need to have you.”
Regulus blinked, and held his neck, kissing him slowly. Barty took his hands out to hold his waist.
“I will fix things,” he promised, “Give me time,” Barty nodded, “Until then… I guess you choose.”
“Do you want me to stay away?”
“I would hate that.”
“You won't tell James if you're still with me,” he said, and Regulus closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“I will. I'll tell Sirius me and you are nothing but friends now, and beg for a second chance. I will try to find a way to tell James and I will end this peacefully.”
“You're just drowning yourself in more lies, Reg…”
“Trust me, please,” he held his face, “Please?”
Barty closed his eyes, and then nodded, letting himself be kissed again.