Even in the midst of the escalating war, their seventh year was as grand and as exciting as it would have been had there not been a war. Parties like no other, and the formal dance, held in may and at the Hogs Head, were the pinnacle of the year.
The Marauders, of course, had mostly secured dates. Naturally, James and Lily were going together, and Peter was going with the Hufflepuff girl he’d finally worked up the nerve to speak to.
Sirius especially had the pick of the crop, though he hated the attention, and he didn’t particularly care for the girls following him around either. Sometimes, he was polite, but sometimes, he was much more blunt than he needed to be.
Remus too, allegedly had a crowd of girls that were into him, albeit much smaller than Sirius’s gaggle. He’d never really admitted it to himself, much less to his friends, but he found it hard to believe that anyone, girl or boy, would want him. He was studious, and awkward around anyone who wasn’t James, Sirius, or Peter. Sure, he was nice, kind, even, but he knew that would only get him so far. He was covered in scars, head to toe, and
Besides, he only had eyes for Sirius, and while he would probably never say anything to him, he would never stop loving him, even if, one day, either one of them did settle down with a wife, and maybe even children.
Now, as the group sat at the dinner table, opening their mail and packages, Sirius made two piles, one much larger than the other. As he unwrapped a package of chocolates, a snicker sounded from the Slytherin table.
Of course, it was Snape. Remus had always been neutral to the boy, especially after the Incident, and especially after James and Lily got together. But now, he shot him a dirty look.
“What are you snickering at, Severus?” James called, coolly.
“Don’t fret, Potter. I was only laughing at your friend. I would never bruise your precious ego.”
Sirius whipped around, fury blazing in his ice-blue eyes. “Watch it.”
It was unfortunate, almost, that James and Lily were a couple, and that they were Head Boy and Girl. When Snape did get the nerve to antagonize them, it was easily quelled by a duel, and even if Snape won, he knew better than to push his luck. He had seemingly given up on regaining Lily as a friend, and now, felt emboldened to antagonize them, knowing Lily would hear about anyone fighting
“It’s just sad really. You know Regulus gets mail every night? From his real family? What do you have?”
“Letters and gifts from secret admirers. I’d explain it to you, but I wouldn’t want to set you up for disappointment. Ignorance is bliss, you know.” Sirius replied, refocusing on
If Snape was hurt, he didn’t show it. “Calling your admirers half-wits would be generous. None of them have seemed to figure out that you’re a poof-“
Before Snape could finish the word, Sirius leapt out of his seat, grabbed him by his green tie, and punched him in the nose, before bolting out of the dining hall. It was hours after the actual dinner hour, so the professors had all retreated to their quarters, or detentions.
“Sirius!” Remus and James yelled. Remus immediately leapt to his feet, while James knelt on the floor, gingerly wiping away the blood streaming from his nose with a napkin.
“Don’t- touch- me- Potter!” Snape shrieked, calling the attention of all the students in the hall, if they weren’t already watching the scene unfold, they were now.
Remus looked for a moment longer, then sprinted toward where he knew Sirius would be: Their shared room. He felt like he was flying; down the hall, up the staircase, down the hall, until he reached the Gryffindor tower.
“minks and skinks,” he muttered to the Fat Lady, climbing inside and up the staircase.
“Sirius!”
No response, but Sirius’s curtains were shut. Remus gently pulled one away, and was surprised to see him not screaming into his pillow in rage, but nursing his cut hand, tears silently pouring down his face.
“Padfoot,” He murmured, reaching for his wand. He had picked up some quick haling spells from Pomfrey, after spending hours under her supervision. Gently, he traced his wand across the cuts, wordlessly sealing them.
“I could kill that slimy git.” Sirius spoke through gritted teeth.
“You tried to.” Remus replied, focusing on healing his hand. It seemed to be broken, or at least very badly bruised.
“I remember. You didn’t speak to me for a month. Worst one of my life, probably.”
Remus blushed. You don’t need to flatter me. Besides, we don’t need to revisit that.”
“Well. He deserved it this time.”
“Sirius, look, they’re just words, and everyone knows that it’s not true.” Though Sirius never had a girlfriend, he could often be found snogging girls in the dark corners of their parties, after more than enough firewhisky. “Besides, he really is just jealous, I mean, he’s not going to have a date to that stupid formal, and…”
Remus was rambling, but Sirius seemed to be in another place altogether.
“Look,” he tried again. “You’ll probably get detention for a week, at the most.”
“I’m not thinking about that.” Sirius said, looking intently at Remus. “I couldn’t be assed to give a shit about detention at this point.”
Remus forced himself to look back at Sirius. They both knew his hand was healed, and there was no reason for him to keep examining it.
“Well, what are you thinking about?”
“Look, what Snape said, it was… It was true.” Sirius laughed, looking down at his bedspread. Fuck, he was handsome, his long, dark hair covering most of his face. a bitter one he usually reserved for when he spoke of his family. “He’s right. I’m a poof. A faggot. He’s right.”
“What about… Mary? Or that Ravenclaw girl at that party?” Remus asked, trying to hide his shock, or more importantly, his glee. Granted, he didn’t feel very happy now, seeing the pain Sirius was in.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “I was fucking wasted. I felt disgusting afterwards, the next morning… I hated myself. It felt so, so wrong. Every time I did it, I thought oh, this will be the time. I’d be fixed.”
Remus was dumbfounded. “Oh, Sirius…” he murmured, staring at his trousers.
Sirius cleared his throat. “So, yeah. I mean, I’d understand, if you or the boys hate me, or never want to speak to me again, but um, please don’t tell them, yeah? I don’t need them to know…”
A similar feeling to when he felt the full moon, a pull in his heart, in his bones, shot through Remus. “Sirius. Padfoot. I could never hate you.”
Sirius snorted again.
Remus looked at Sirius this time, searching his eyes. “Sirius. I could never hate you. I love you.”
Sirius smiled. “I appreciate it mate. Love you too.”
Before he could hold himself back, Remus dove forward, kissing Sirius. He’d only kissed a girl once, at a party, at James’s insistence, and this felt better. Sirius kissed him back, pulling him closer, while Remus cupped his cheeks, barely able to stop smiling.
Finally, they pulled away.
“Wow…” Sirius said, grinning.
“I’m sorry… I…” Remus was panicking now. “I… I just.”
“Relax.” Sirius took his hand. “It felt right.”