Chapter 8
“We should leave soon” Harry said, clearing his throat, hauling the time turner from his pocket. It had given them quite a respite, they’d remained in this present much longer than in any other year and somehow he knew it wouldn’t take them back until their business here was sorted. Still, one ought not to tempt fate and linger too long.
The Dracos did not disagree but the younger of them got a fidgety look about him at the prospect of having his memories removed. They all stood.
“Give us a minute, Potter” Draco asked.
Harry eyed the timeturner indecisively, thinking they ought not to be separated in case it started acting up but one look at the pain in both Dracos’ faces told him not to argue.
“Alright” he said, awkwardly wobbling on his feet for a few seconds, not knowing the protocol for bidding farewell in these kinds of situations. He held out his right hand to the younger Draco, for him to take or leave. “I’ll see you in a few years” he said and then made a face. “Or tomorrow in class I assume, depending on how you look at it.”
The boy stared at his hand for a few moments and then, surprisingly, shook it without a word. Harry briefly registered that his palm was unexpectantly warm against his skin before the fingers slipped out of his grip.
With one last nod, Harry headed through the door, positioning himself on the other side of it, from where he thought he’d have a fair chance of getting to Draco in time if needed and threw the cloak over his head, in the unlikely event that someone was to come this way for a night time stroll. He left the door slightly ajar, the crack just wide enough for him to be able to take in the bizarre sight of two Dracos eyeing each other.
“Are you alright?” Draco asked carefully.
Younger Draco folded his arms over his chest. “I can’t believe you’re still pining over him” he said surly, jerking his head towards the door and Harry took a step back despite his invisibility.
“I’m not pining over Potter” the older Draco said sharply. “And neither were you.”
“Yeah, what would you call what we did in bed throughout last year with a phial of lube and that article where he…”
“Jeez” older Draco interrupted, raking his hand through his hair. “Don’t remind me. And that wasn’t pining, it was just being a hormonal teenager getting off at every chance. It wasn’t nearly as often as to Pansy’s magazine with the nude quidditch players.”
“And if you were to be working with Lynch or Ryan, you’d be pining over them” younger Draco argued, sticking out his chin in a spitting image of, well, teenage Draco.
Maybe older Draco thought so too because he let out a snort.
“You should do something about it” young Draco went on.
“About what?”
“Either make a move or get over him because you still being caught up with him after all this time is just pathetic.”
Draco let out a strained laugh. “I’m not going to make a move on him, you’ve known Potter for six years, what makes you think that’d be a good idea?”
Teenage Draco shrugged. “He looks at you differently now.”
“Well, I haven’t been trying to crucio him for a while, could be that” older Draco replied which made his younger self scowl.
“I can’t believe you’re taking his side on that.”
Draco ignored the comment. “He and I have a civil relation these days but it’s not like he’d consider a Malfoy.”
He was right, Harry hadn’t considered it, because Draco so obviously found him a daft pleb who constantly made a fool out of himself and had showed no interest in interacting with Harry beyond work. Besides, he hadn’t even known Draco was gay until he witnessed the fourteen-year-old version of him but two hours ago. Draco being a Malfoy had very little to do with it though. The person who had stepped into the death eater safe house Harry was searching a year ago and dispersed the curse that had trapped him in a tarantella dance with an instant flick of his wand was far from the boy who had taunted him at school.
It hadn’t been Harry’s fault but his partner’s, triggering a lingering curse of the Carrows’ that’d sent Harry’s legs moving in an uncoordinated dance, having him work faster and faster over the floor. Aston, a bit of a thickhead who didn’t last long on the job, was spared the same faith by his full blood status and by the time he’d had the sense to fetch help, Harry was almost too exhausted to care that his old nemesis had entered the cabin to witness him behaving like an enthusiastic erumpent attempting ballet. He’d expected to be on his throbbing feet for the rest of the afternoon while Malfoy worked through his full register of barbs but instead, he’d immediately uttered the correct counter curse and followed up with a series of soothing spells that erased the pain from Harry’s aching soles. Then he had admittedly spent a good ten minutes making fun of him because he was Draco Malfoy after all but from that moment on Harry knew he was very much different from the bully he’d gone to school with and took to calling him by first name, like he did with all his colleagues.
“Anyway, you’re one to talk about being pathetic, bragging about that mark of yours to Theo and Blaise” he heard Draco tell his younger self.
Teenage Draco paled and he stared at his left arm with a frown. “I haven’t done that in a while.”
Draco snorted but then his features softened. “Get over here.” He folded his arms around teenage Draco who stiffly accepted the hug but after a moment he seemed to lean into it. “This is weird” he mumbled.
“Yes” Draco agreed and held on to him, stroking his back. Harry could tell the moment he let go, allowing his tears to fall.
Harry felt his hands shaking where he’s standing, wondering how things would have been if he’d offered that shoulder to cry on all those years ago. He would never know, because even with the ability to find out right in his pocket, time was not to be altered and the mistakes one had made was to be lived with.
The two blond figures remained in the position so long that time appeared frozen but eventually the younger Draco stirred. “You’re not getting a hard on, are you?” he asked, apparently already having developed his bizarre sense of humor.
The older Draco snorted but it was with amusement this time. “I’m not that much of a narcissist.”
“You might be thinking of Potter.”
The comment earned him a light shove on the shoulder and they stepped apart. “Will you drop it!”
They stared at each other in challenge and Harry suspected it would go on for quite a while because none of the Dracos he’d known was likely to back down.
Teenage Draco was the first to fold, supposedly he hadn’t learnt patience the way his older self had been forced to. “Just as well, father wouldn’t approve anyway” he said, looking away.
For the first time since he’d come face to face with his sixteen-year-old self, Draco seemed overcome by anger. “I don’t give a damn about what father thinks.”
Younger Draco looked outrageous at his words and took a step back.
“He’s the reason you’re in this mess” older Draco went on, voice a little more controlled.
The boy scrutinized him. “Did they kick you out?”
“No” Draco sighed. “I still see him, both of them, but it’s complicated. Let’s just say I’m not quite as awed by him as you are.”
The younger Draco’s eyes flickered, perhaps he had already started to question his father’s beliefs at some level. He turned to stare out into the dark night.
“Things get better” older Draco said tentatively. “You’ll be OK.”
The teenager turned back sharp to stare at him. “Are you happy?”
“Sometimes” Draco replied, somewhat taken aback by the question. When a strained expression ran over the face of his younger self, he smiled. “In many ways I’m better off than I’ve ever been.”
Younger Draco looked unimpressed and took a step forward, staring down his older self. “If I live, you have to live too.”
“OK?” Draco said, a small smile playing on his lips.
“Don’t fuck it up again” the younger Draco said and Harry has a flashback of him ordering Crabbe and Goyle about. Even the older Draco seemed to have some trouble standing up to his obnoxious self.
“I won’t” he said softly. “Are you ready?” He indicated his wand.
Young Draco stiffened and although he looked far from it, he nodded, stealing himself.
“It will be OK” Draco said again, raising his wand, and without waiting for a reply he mumbled a soft obliviate.
When the boy’s eyes begun to cloud, present Draco stepped behind a pillar and Harry had but a few seconds warning before the door swung open and he was passed by a sixteen-year-old Draco Malfoy, bearing a look of confusion on his face but beyond that the pain was still lingering, as fresh and raw as it had been an hour ago. There was nothing to do but let him pass.
When the echo of the footsteps faded, he entered the room, finding Draco on the floor, resting his head in his hands.
Harry sank down next to him, carefully placing a hand on his back, rubbing small circles to it. “You OK?” he whispered, expecting Draco to tell him to lay off but he only let out a sigh.
“I’d just forgotten how bad it was then.”
“Yeah” Harry agreed. “Me too.”
“I was so lonely.”
“I know…”
“He hasn’t even been through the worst yet.”
Harry hauled him into his arms because perhaps this Draco needed it too, perhaps it wasn’t too late for consolation.
Draco leaned against him and they sat like that for a long time, until their closeness started to feel warm and a little less guilt-ridden. Without thinking too much about it, Harry tentatively let his lips brush against the softness of Draco’s neck. It was the lightest kiss, barely noticeable but he could tell every limb of Draco’s going tense.
“What are you doing Potter?”
“Considering it” Harry mumbled, taking the liberty to taste Draco’s skin again.
Draco abruptly moved away, staring at him and Harry could see the truth dawning on him. “You heard that?”
Harry shrugged. “I stalked you for the better part of a year, did you really think I wouldn’t take to listening at doors?”
Draco glared at him, cheeks reddening. “I didn’t…he was just being an idiot.”
“He’s got a point though, I think we should consider it.”
“Whyever would you do that?”
“Why not?” Harry wondered out loud, actually beginning to take it into account as he spoke. “We get along, sort of, I find you intriguing, you’re immensely fit, we share a past, we…”
“A past where we fought a war on different sides” Draco interrupted.
“But you were there, you know how bad it was, you know things weren’t black and white.”
The more he spoke, the more sense it started to make, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before. But he liked Draco, liked working with him and truth be told, he jumped on the cursed object-cases as soon as he had the chance, and he wasn’t really that into bewitched tiaras or enchanted elf-heads.
“And you’re a lot less impressed by me than the rest of the wizarding world” he went on eagerly.
Draco snorted. “How is that possibly an argument in favor for this case?”
Harry smiled at the lovely posh accent. “You’re not afraid to challenge me, and if this” he gestured between them “would happen, it wouldn’t be because of the boy-who-lived thing, I’d know you’d be in it for me.”
Draco met his gaze, hesitation and pain clouding the grey irises and Harry bravely did not move away. No one spoke and next to his furious heartbeat their breaths echoed loud in the silent room. There was something not quite right about it though and as Draco started to lean in, tilting his head, Harry jumped to his feet, hauling Draco up with him.
“What the hell are you…” he started but when Harry drew his wand he wasn’t late to copy him.
“Someone else is here” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “I heard someone breathing.”
His heart beat like hell. It wasn’t like he hadn’t found himself in plenty of dangerous situations on the job before, but this was different, being sent back through time, to a period where Voldemort was very much alive and at the height of his power. He tried to draw strength from Draco standing next to him. If there was going to be a battle, he wasn’t going into it alone.
“Show yourself” he called out.
There was a flicker of light in front of him and while debating whether to stun or shield, a man became solid before them.
“Professor Dumbledore” he said astonished, feeling Draco shuffling uncomfortably next to him.
“Hello Harry” the old man smiled. “It is lovely to see you, and Draco too of course. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Er…thank you” Draco mumbled and Harry considered how very awkward this must be for him.
“How long have you been here?” Harry blurted out, a thousand thoughts and questions swarming in his head along with Draco’s words about the importance of not being seen. He doubted any of them would be able to successfully obliviate this man’s mind.
“Forgive my rudeness, I did not intend to eavesdrop but came in here to speak to your younger self, Draco. Severus has alerted me you are not doing well, I’ve been seeking an opportunity to speak to you alone and offer a solution to the horrible situation you’ve been put in. I understand I was nearly too late.”
“You were going to help me?” Draco let out astonished.
“Certainly. I am sorry I was not aware of the extent to which this troubled you until tonight, I should have realized of course.”
“Why didn’t you help him just now?” Harry asked, thinking of Draco putting one foot over the bridge.
“You preceded me, Harry. And I was intrigued to see the older versions of both of you here so curiosity got the better hand of me, I remained to watch things unfold.”
Harry and Draco exchanged glances and he felt his cheeks fluster, wondering exactly how much Dumbledore would have gotten to watch unfold in case Harry hadn’t detected his presence. By the look of it, Draco was thinking along the same line, though Dumbledore, fortunately seemed unmoved by the intimacy he’d witnessed and went on.
“Time is a complex and mysterious thing, not always linear. When I heard what you had to say about the upcoming war, I realized we must let things play out the way you described it.” He turned to Draco again. “I am however sorry for what it will cost you, Draco.”
“I’m sorry for what I did, sir” Draco said in a broken voice and Harry realized how much courage it would take for him to meet the eyes of the man he’d watched die and threaded their fingers together, giving the hand in his a squeeze.
“The apology should come from me alone” Dumbledore said kindly. “You had to carry a burden no sixteen-year-old should. Few would understand the weight put on your shoulders, but I believe Harry is one who can.”
Harry’s mind was whirring. There’d been many theories to Dumbledore’s knowledge about Voldemort, the horcruxes and his reasons for trusting three teenagers with the mission of defeating the darkest wizard of all time, he himself had always thought so much happened by chance and that by pure logic none of them should be alive, but perhaps this was the answer.
“Is this how you know everything, by me and Draco coming here?”
“Ah, that would be a question for my future self to answer” Dumbledore smiled. “But I would hazard a guess on that being the case.”
“You could ask more if you’d like” he offered. Even if they’d gone over the basics of the war with Dumbledore listening in, there was still so much they hadn’t revealed, about the horcruxes, about the people that had died, the resurrection stone resting somewhere in the forbidden forest...
“Harry” Draco said warningly next to him and he briefly wondered whether that was the first time he’d used his given name.
Dumbledore’s smile broadened and he beamed at the two of them. “Thank you for that offer Harry, but I believe I’ve heard just enough. Not too little but yet not too much.”
Harry nodded. It was tempting to disobey, to say something that would save Fred, Dobby, Remus, Tonks or any one of those who’d died far too soon, but he was here, and somewhere in the present, so were Ron and Hermione, the three of them trying to cope in the aftermath of the war. And hard as it had been on them and on so many others, it could also have ended so much worse so he pressed his lips firmly together not to let anything slip.
“Besides, I believe it’s time for you to return to the present.”
There was a whirring sound from his pocket and Harry pulled out the spinning time turner.
“So I bid you goodbye for now” Dumbledore went on. “Draco, yet again I am sorry but I am sure happiness is just around the corner for you.” There was a twinkle to his eye.
“Bye” was all Harry had time to say before the man in front of him turned into a blur and he held on as tightly as he could to Draco’s hand.