I walk down stairs and see my mom and older sister sitting at the kitchen table, chatting, drinking tea, something I'm never invited to take part in with them.
I attempt to make my presence unknown, I know that if they see me they'll get that judgmental look in their eyes as they always do when looking at me.
My attempt is unsuccessful, as while I was watching them I misstepped and stepped directly onto the squeaky step that my dad has been promising to fix since I was seven, I'm seventeen now and lost hope on that promise a long time ago. They both snap their heads up towards me at the sudden noise.
"Lily!" My mothe says in surprise, a fake smile settling on her lips as she places her cup down, "I didn't know you were up."
"I've been up since six." Its nine. I say in a monotoned voice. Its instinctual, whenever I talk to my mother that voice comes out, I don't know if my mother even knows what my actually voice sounds like, not that I think she cares anyway.
"Oh!" Again in that mocked surprised voice she uses while talking to people at the grocery store. "Well, would you like some breakfast? Petunia made muffins." She jesters to the plate sitting on the table, it looks untouched, its probably been sitting there for hours.
I stare at it, then at my mother, then at my sister, she looks pissed. But then again, when is she not when I'm present.
"No thanks. I'm about to head out anyway." I stand there awkwardly.
My mother pulls her eyebrows together in confusion. "Out? Out where?"
I have the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes. I reminded her I had plans eight times yesterday. "I'm going to my friend James's for the weekend. Remember? I've been telling you this for the past two weeks."
James has invited me and the rest of our friends over to stay at his for the weekend, or longer. I only agreed to stay the weekend because I knew any longer and my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
My mother glances at my sister, eyebrows still pulled together in confusion, then back to me. "You never told me about this." Her voice has seemed to have gone up an octave.
I let out a sigh, "Yes I did mum. Multiple times. I even wrote it on the calendar." I walk over to the fridge and point to the calendar where 'Lily goes to James's for the weekend' is written out in red ink.
My mother stands up and makes her way over to me, standing closer to the fridge then necessary to read the calendar.
She backs away after a few seconds and shakes her head. "I never agreed to this."
I want to scream. "Yes you did."
Still shaking her head, "No, no. Because this weekend is the Cherry Festival. I would've never allowed you to make plans during the Cherry Festival. You know how important that is for me. God Lily, you're so selfish sometimes."
My mouth falls open in shocked annoyance, a mixed between a scoff and laugh leaves my lips as I look around for the hidden cameras, cause this has to be a joke right?
I noticed my sister as I'm looking around, she has this dumb look on her face, like I'm the one being unreasonable right now.
"Are you kidding me right now?" I ask, as I turn my attention back to my mother, because this has to be a joke, but it never is, is it?
"Lily you know that if you want to make plans you have to run it by your father and I first."
"I! Did!" I'm practicing yelling at this point.
"Don't you raise your voice at me younge lady. I'm not the one who didn't follow the rules." My mother scolds me.
"I did though! I did follow the rules! I did ask you and daddy! And you both said yes! Everytime I asked, for the past two fucking weeks-"
"Watch your language!"
"you've said yes! And now all of the sudden you're telling me I can't go just because you forgot this weekend was the festival?!"
"I did not forget this weekend was the festival! Your sister and I have been planning all month for this. You just didn't realize because you want nothing to do with us now."
"That's not true." My voice goes quieter.
"Yes it is Lily." She has this disgusted, disappointed look on her face that I just know my sister is mimicking. "Every since you turned eleven and started going to that, special school of yours, you have no time for us. You and Tunia used to be best friends when you were younger. Then, one day, you started hanging out with that odd little boy and stopped playing with your sister, and I thought, 'It's just a faze, she just expanding her inner circle, she'll grow out of it.' But then, you got accepted into that school, and met even more of those odd children who have, stolen you away from us. And I realized; its not a faze. This is who my daughter is now. And I have to tell you Lily, I do not like this new girl. Shes rude, self absorbed, bossy- this is not the girl I raised!" She moves her eyes, looking into both of mine while slightly shaking her head, I can feel her about to cry. "What happened to my little girl, Lily? Is it something I did? Am I really that bad of a mother?" That was it, my mother started to cry.
Petunia rushed to our mothers side to coddle her, sending me the most hateful glare.
"See what you've done Lily? Apologize." Petunia demands.
I know I should. Just to keep the peace a little longer. I should look at my mother, and lie through my teeth. Like I've done a thousand times before. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her shes not a bad mother. Hug her. Let her cry on me. Do whatever it is she wants me to do. Just to keep the peace.
I stare at my mother and sister for a moment, unmoved, then,
"No." I fold my arms over my chest.
Petunia snaps her head up at me, "No?"
"No. I'm done." I shake my head, and start walking backwards, back to the stairs, where I had dropped my bag where I had first made my way over to the fridge. I pick it up.
"Where are you going?" Petunia sputters, confusion clear on her face. Her mouth keeps opening and closing without any sound being able to come out.
"Anywhere but here." I start to make my way to the door.
"Lily Jolene Evans! You stop this instant!" My mother has stopped her fake sobs and is attempting to parents me now.
"Or what?" I turn back to her.
My mother looks taken aback.
"I'm seventeen. I don't have to stay here any longer if I don't want to. And I don't want to. So tell me, what're you going to do to stop me?"
She mimics Petunias earlier movement of opening and closing her mouth without being able to get anything to come out.
Petunia looks between me and our mother so rapidly I'm afraid she might give herself whiplash.
"Thought so." I say quietly, I feel a familiar pit in my stomach, and turn to make my way to the door.
Right as I reach it, my mother finds her voice again.
"If you leave, don't bother coming back! You hear me? This is your last chance young lady!"
I pause. Should I really be doing this? All because of a stupid argument?
I know people who have run away. They've all had better reasons than me, but yet. I can't bring myself to step away from the door.
I tightens my grip on the doorknob. "Fine." And I swing the door open, and walk out.
I hear my mother and sister yelling after me as I make my way down the street.
It's a long walk to James's house.
But anywhere is better than here.