Chapter 1
From the second that Professor Lupin announced that they were going to learn about boggarts, a palpable tension rose throughout the students. Some looked positively horrified, others seemed to mask it well and then there was Hermione; who was nervously chewing on her nails and trying to focus on her breathing.
"Oh Merlin! I thought they were pretend... you mean to say boggarts are real? I just thought parents were saying it to frighten their children!" Rose Clearwater, a 3rd year Slytherin announced quietly causing a few students to giggle at her naivety or her stupidity, one or the other. Hermione said nothing, instead she just stared at the wardrobe with contempt and clenched her jaw. She normally had so much respect for all of her professors, especially Professor Lupin. He was kind, funny, caring and he seemed to know what void to fill in each students life. However, in this moment she hated him for what he was doing.
"What is a boggart? Can anyone tell me?" He said softly, his eyes scanning the room for volunteers. No one raised the hands or even so much as looked at him to be honest. So in the end, he picked someone at random.
"Hermione! What's a boggart?" He said, gazing at the 13 year old witch. She looked alarmed, almost like a deer caught in the headlights if he was being honest. Seeing her look of panic was starting to make him feel guilty, however he had to pick someone.
"Uh well.. a boggart is a shapeshifter, it takes on the form of whatever we fear most. That's why they're so terrifying!" She stuttered pitifully, ignoring all the other students gazes of shock or pity at the way she stuttered. Oh Merlin she wanted to be anywhere else but here.
"Excellent! Well done Hermione! That's 10 points to Gryffindor. Now, I need you all to pay for close attention to what I tell you to do, you need to keep your wits about you and in order to get rid of your fear, you just wave your wand and say 'riddikulus'"
"Riddikulus!" Most of the class chorused together. Hermione just stared out of the window, she hated every single second of being here.
"This class is fucking ridiculous!" Draco muttered under his breath, which seemed to wake Hermione up almost. She clenched her fists angrily, her heart racing at a mile a minute.
"This is crap!" She yelled, her breath got caught within her chest. The room was shocked into silence, this was so unlike the know it all that they all knew. In this moment, Hermione glared at Professor Lupin in the hope that he would send her out of the class. She was annoyed however when he just looked at her in a calm and patient manner.
"I know you all have opinions but Miss Granger, this is a mandatory subject that we have to cover in order for you to pass your exams. So I'd appreciate it if you would keep those thoughts to yourself!" Lupin said calmly, although he was very worried by Hermione's behaviour, this was so out of character for her. She normally loved learning.
"Well, I'm not going to waste my time with something as stupid as this!" Hermione fumed, promptly turning on her heel and barging her way through the crowd.
"Oh look everyone! The mud blood is scared!" Draco taunted. Hermione turned towards him, anger filling her whole entire body. How dare he! He had no idea what was going on in her head or her body! In one very quick motion, she pulled her arm back and punched him hard in the nose and sent him flying backwards with a loud crash. The class very quickly turned into chaos; the Gryffindors started giggling and the Slytherins looked like they wanted to punch her. Suddenly they heard their normal very mild mannered Professor.
"Hermione! What in Merlin's name are you playing at! Get to my office immediately. Draco, how dare you use that slur in my classroom! Detention for the next week and as for the rest of you, calm down this instant! Class dismissed!" He yelled, knowing that they were too far gone now to do this lesson safely. He would have to do it another time. Hermione grabbed her bag and stormed up the stairs and into her Professors office, ready for the telling off of a lifetime.
Around half an hour or so she'd been waiting for her Professor and in that time she had dug her nails into her hand and caused blood to soak her right hand. She felt nothing as she did it, all she could think about was how angry she was. She heard the door open and very quickly she had pulled down her sleeve, trying to cover up her damaged hand.
"Care to explain to me what that was all about? This is so unlike you Miss Granger, I mean... punching another student, swearing and not wanting to participate in lessons? I'd expect this from just about anyone else..." He said softly, muttering a charm and soon there was a lovely hot cup of tea and a pile of biscuits on the table.
Hermione swallowed thickly, looking at the floor and pulling her long wavy hair over her face to protect herself. This wasn't what she was expecting, she wanted him to yell at her, to tell her how wrong she was and to punish her even. The fact he was being so kind was making her stomach do knots.
"I..." she began, feeling a lump form in her throat so she stopped. She clenched her jaw shut and her eyes began to sting in an effort to keep her tears in. This was all so overwhelming for her and Lupin could see that, it was making him so concerned.
"Here... take a sip of your tea and that will keep you calmer. You need to do this module Miss Granger, that is not negotiable. However, would you like to do it in here with me? No one else will be here, it'll just be you and I. What happens in this room stays here ok?" He said soothingly, watching as she drank her tea and in turn began to calm slightly.
"I really don't want to do this Professor!" She trembled slightly.
"I know, but you can't let fear control you for the rest of your life. I have every faith in you!"
It was strange, the fact he seemed to acknowledge her fear seemed to make her want to try. She nodded and slowly began to accept her fate, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to get out of this. She stood up and followed Lupin down to the main classroom and towards the waiting cupboard.
Hermione got her wand out with her left hand and parted her feet slightly, in the hope that it would give her better balance.
"You need to use your dominant hand Miss Granger, you should know that by now!" Professor Lupin said firmly but also with a hint of worry. Something didn't feel right.
Hermione felt the blood freeze in her veins, and in that instant she knew that she had given it away. Professor Lupin stared right through her and she had to turn away, she felt too guilty.
"Is there a problem?" He said, raising his eyebrow. Hermione shook her head slightly and gulped.
"It's just a cramp in my hand, that's why I want to use my other. Not to mention, I want to try and practice with my less dominant hand!" She tried to be smooth about it but it was all glaringly obvious.
"Show me your hand Mrs Granger!" He said firmly, holding his own hand out towards her. She hadn't realised that she had stepped so far away from him that her back was now against the door. Her heart began to race in her chest, she didn't want to show him what she had done to her hand.
"Hermione... sweetheart," the term of endearment just naturally fell off his lips seeing how genuinely frightened she was. "Let me see your hand..." he whispered, holding his hands out towards her.
Hermione's legs nearly buckled underneath her as she walked towards him, stopping when she was nearly at arms length. She quickly showed her hand to him before she could change her mind, as she looked down at all the blood and deep cuts that she had made from her nails, she heard her Professors sharp intake of breath.
"You foolish girl... why would you hurt yourself?" Lupin demanded, not so much angrily but with concern. He couldn't get over the damage she had done, just with her fingernails alone. He took her small hand in his large one and gently waved his wand over her hand, cleaning all the blood from her hand so that he knew what he was working with. He then summoned her magical medical kit. He smeared a salve over her cuts that numbed the pain and cleaned them out, he then made quick work of bandaging her hand.
"Good girl, it's all done!" He praised her, taking her gently over to the cupboard. It was rattling loudly, impatiently almost. Hermione's nerves were in bits, she didn't know what to feel at the moment. All she wanted was for this to be over.
"Remember, this is not real. You're safe, it can only harm you if you allow it!" Remus said soothingly and Hermione nodded, straightening up slightly. It's not real... it's not real... she repeated over and over again as the door swung open.
Hermione's older brother was 10 years her senior and a very tall, lanky man with a Cheshire Cat like smile. A smile that never quite reached his brown eyes. When she was very little, Hermione likened him to the Devil; he was the monster who always haunted her dreams. He was supposed to protect her and love her, instead he was the source of all her pain.
The very sight of him made her feel sick and her heart race, the sound of his footsteps vibrated loudly throughout the room.
"Hermione! Don't be such a tease..." he cooed, making Hermione's whole body shake. His voice haunted her dreams and now it felt like he was truly here with her, she was rooted to the spot with fear.
"You won't tell anyone will you Hermione? Just think what you'll do to mum and dad! It's our little secret kiddo... you know you love it really!" Hermione felt like she couldn't breathe, she clenched her wand tightly but she couldn't use it, it may as well have weighed two tonnes. Before she knew it, a voice shouted.
"Riddikulus!" Lupin was stood in front of her, protecting her from the image of her brother. Dizziness overcame Hermione and she fell down on her knees, her body wracking with sobs and screams. She cried in embarrassment, pain and fear, she'd never felt so overwhelmed in her life. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she recoiled away slightly.
"I'm frightened..." her voice was small and childlike, pulling on Remus's fatherly instincts. He felt so guilty and knew that he would never ever make her do that again.
"I know darling, I am so sorry! I never imagined..." he began softly and made a small oomph sound as Hermione flung herself at him and wept, burrowing within his robes. He hugged her tight and made low and soothing shushing noises.
"I... I'm a coward Professor! I..." she gripped onto his robes and he picked her up within his arms, pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead.
"You're 13... you're a child! What he did... whoever that is... he's disgusting!" He made his way out of the classroom, still carrying the child in his arms protectively. He cast a charm so that no one else could see them and took her into his private quarters and sat her on the sofa. He bent down to her level.
"I should've... I could've..." she began tearfully, her hands twisting anxiously.
"This was not your fault! Do you understand? Shhh... it's alright!" Remus soothed, trying to find a way to get his own back and protect the little witch who he was growing increasingly fond of.
"You will stay here until the morning and until we figure out the next steps Hermione alright?" He whispered, gently ruffling her hair in what he hoped was comforting. It seemed to work as within minutes, she was asleep.
He quickly walked to the fire place and used some floo powder, sticking his head in he called for Minerva. His closest friend and former teacher.
"Minerva... we have a huge problem!"