Walking alone in the city
Makes me feel like a man on the moon
Every small step I took was so easy
But I never imagined a dot quite as pale or as blue
You took it from me but I would've given it to you
It had been five years since Grant had moved to Brighton. It had been five years since he'd left Remus lupin. He was standing on the back porch of his cottage, looking at the moon-well, their cottage.
He had met Thomas Grant four years ago. He'd taken one of the kids he was in charge of to the doctor's and Thomas had been the pediatrician on duty that day. He was Amercian, with short, dark hair and warm chocolate-colored eyes, a dimple on his chin and the best jaw Grant had seen maybe ever. Practically a movie star who'd fallen sideways into medicine. Grant's first sign that they were meant for each other, besides the instant melting of his insides, was Thomas's last name. like Grant had already claimed him. Even before he'd met him.
His second sign was how completely and utterly different he was from Remus. On their first date, he's held Grant's hand, in the middle of the street, in front of god and everybody, not caring who saw. Remus had never been one for physical touch outside of bed, and after years of it, it had taken Grant some time to get used to the near constant weight of a hand on his waist every time they were together. He's come to love it. it felt like being kept. as if it mattered to someone to make sure to keep him with them.
On their one-month anniversary, Thomas had told Grant he loved him! He couldn't believe it. Grant had spent almost a decade with Remus and had only been told this after he'd physically held him in place and forced -or more accurately begged- him to say it back.
Of course he knew this had everything to do with the lives they had led before meeting each other. Thomas had grown up in a middle class family, with two sisters and loving parents. He'd came out to them at sixteen-practically as soon as he had figured himself out- and they'd said they loved him. They'd constantly supported him and Thomas had all the markings of a person well taken care of.
When grant first met Thomas's family at Christmas three years ago, they'd hugged him upon arrival and had him calling them mum and dad by the end of the night. And just like that, he'd found a family.
Grant didn't want to be bitter, but in that first year, he couldn't help it. There he was, having spent almost ten years of his life giving and giving and giving and then someone had just shown up one night and he was practically forgotten. he knew he was the one who had made the choice to leave. knew he was the one to let go. but that didn't stop him from being angry. it didn't stop him from cursing Remus for never looking at him like he looked at Sirius. didn't stop him from cursing Sirius for having Remus's heart so completely that even after Grant had saved Remus from himself and had taken care of him for years, he still came second.
But then one morning, in the first months of their relationship, Grant had caught a cold and Thomas had come over and stayed for days, making him soup and bringing him orange juice and kissing his forehead and making him laugh. God he made him laugh. He'd never had someone so wholly devoted to bringing a smile to his face. And it felt good, being taken care of. It felt good to be chosen, day after day, time after time. It felt brilliant to be someone's person and have them be yours. Just yours.
When Grant had mentioned wanting to foster casually, Thomas had gotten so excited that he'd made it happen in less than a month. Grant was absolutely not prepared for how easy everything was with him. When they fought-which they rarely did -and even then it was more of an argument than a fight, it would lead to a long conversation where Thomas would talk about everything he felt and would ask about Grant's feelings in return. Nothing was ever left unsaid, no feelings were held back. The honesty was so total, the sincerity so complete, that Grant had never once had to decode his words or read his mind. and god it was such a relief.
They'd fostered for a year before a little girl came through who was so completely alone that when they had adopted her-unofficially as it was not legal yet- no one had said a thing. Her given name was Sarah but she hated it so they changed it to Minnie -her own choice- and that was that. they now had a daughter. Grant was a father and he could not believe it. Thomas was better at it than him. Grant had experience with kids. a lot of it. He'd worked with troubled kids for years, it was his job. But Thomas had been loved and that had taught him to love properly. It was the sort of thing you could never learn in books. He was so thankful.
On his worst days, he felt insecure about his past. He felt under-educated and under-loved and stupid. He felt foolish for staying for someone who'd only settled for him. Of course none of that was true. He knew that logically. He'd gone to school, graduated, gotten the job he'd wanted. He'd been dealt so much hate and neglect in his life, yes, but he'd also been loved. By his friends and the endless stream of lovers in his twenties and Remus too. He knew he'd loved him. even if it wasn't the kind of love he wished it was.
These feelings never lasted for long though. He'd come down to breakfast and see Thomas, having a tea party with Minnie and the kids they were fostering and it would all hit him so hard. He felt charmed. It was magic. Maybe all those years living with a wizard had let some of the good magic seep into his fortunes too.
It had been five years. He'd found someone all for himself. He was a father. He had the job of his dreams, the house of his dreams, the life- the love- of his dreams and he only thought about Remus when he looked at the moon. Moony. That's what they called him sometimes. His nickname from his life in the other world. Grant had sent a postcard with his address on it to their old flat, after everything. Remus hadn't found him again so far. He wondered if he was okay. If they were happy. and he hoped they were- after so many years, he no longer begrudged them that.
"Sweetheart, dinner's ready" Thomas called in his American accent, and he went. No longer Calypso, finally Penelope.