à bon chat, bon rat Part 1
It was stupid to be honest, it was never something meant to be because they’re so different. They shouldn’t be doing this because it’ll ruin both party’s reputation. But Damn it was fun!
The air was crisp from the autumn breeze, leaves fell with silent grace, their color varying in tones of brown, Red, yellow and Orange. The students of Hogwarts were seen on every street, entering and exiting the sweet shops of Hogsmeade. A bell rang in the distance, signaling two groups of teens -One group seemed slightly older and sported a Scarlet style in their fashion. Whereas the other group wore a series of colors: Two Basil green, One Aegean Blue, and one a Similar Scarlet Red to the other group.
“Va te faire foutre Sirius ! Tu n'as rien à foutre de tout ce qui a à voir avec moi ! Depuis que j'ai été réparti à Serpentard, vous me trouviez aussi coincé et horrible que le reste de notre famille!”
(Translation: Fuck you Sirius! You never gave a crap about anything that has to do with me ! Ever since I got sorted into Slytherin you thought me just as stuck up and horrible as the rest of our family!)
“Eh bien, peut-être que je ne penserais pas ça si tu ne m’ignorais pas tout le temps ! En plus, c'est toi qui baise mon meilleur ami, connard !
(Translation: {I was feeling ruthless} Well, maybe I wouldn’t think that if you didn’t ignore me all the time! Besides you're the one shagging my best friend, asshole!”)
Regulus and His stupid older brother yelled at each other for what seemed like hours. Evan looked over to Barty who he guessed had zoned them out because he had a mild dazed look to his eyes. Evan stared at the Brown, almost transparent color to them. -It fascinated him how something so dark could be so light- Until Barty was staring back at him with a ‘Like what you see?’ smirk.
“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Barty laughed as Evan hit him in the arm, though not hard enough for the reaction that he got. “OW! How could you! You heartless, trust-breaking, Harm your best friend, Monster!” Barty gasped with a dramatic hand to his forehead.
“Keep it down asshole! I’m trying to translate what they’re saying!” Dorcas smacked them both on the head with her flying ink bottle. As Evan looked at what she was writing, and fair enough it was a translation to the mess that was splayed before them.
“Why the hell would you want to translate this?” Evan looked at the paper once again then looked at his friend.
“Believe it or not Evan, I enjoy knowing what’s going on in my friends’ life's and the only time Regulus talks about his past trauma, he speaks in french.” Dorcas smiles as Evan straightens.
“I believe you have a terrible addiction to drama.” Evan rolls his eyes as Dorcas fakes hurt,
“And I believe your friend is walking off at the moment.” A voice sounded behind them and as they turned it was to see a tall, slim boy, with a series of scars on his face, pointing to a definitely angry Regulus as he stormed off towards the castle.
“Fuck.” Evan heard Barty mumble before running after him.
“Thanks!” Evan and Dorcas call back as they run after the two.
“I just don’t understand why it has to be like this!” Regulus cried, They were in an empty classroom. Evan stood next to him as Barty rubbed his back soothingly.
It was rare for Regulus to cry in front of them, so it was their soul-purpose to cheer him up when he did.
“Perhaps you two should try to talk it out next time instead of fighting? And possibly say it in English?” This earned Barty a glare from both his friends.
“You know, for a Ravenclaw.... You’re a pretty Dimwitted Asshole. You know that, Right?” Evan said as he flicked him in the back of his head.
“Aww. I knew you were sweet on me, but sugar, I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten!“ Barty adopted a western accent and at the end he tipped an imaginary hat at the pair.
This made Regulus choke out a laugh through his tears, He wiped them before hopping off the desk. “You’re both idiots.” He scoffed before pulling them into a VERY rare group hug.
As they stood there Regulus’s voice came out muffled, “I love you guys. You mean the world to me, and if I don’t have Sirius, I’m happy I have you two gits.” There is a pause, “Not a word about this to anyone, or you’ll find that you rather enjoy having eyebrows.” At that they pull apart and Evan and Barty straighten in military form.
“Aye, Aye, Sir!” They say in unison. “We rather enjoy eyebrows. Sir!” They all laugh.
“Hey! Quit your bromance session and let's go eat!” Dorcas pops her head in. She was standing guard in case of an emergency, meaning someone is coming near.
“Fine, Mom!” Barty rolls his eyes before leading them to the Dinning/Great hall.
///Barty’s Pov///
Everyone thought Barty Crouch Jr. to be a Slytherin. I mean he ate with them, talked with them, and practically breathed them. Them being…
Evan Rosier, Family known Death eaters, hardly talks and when he does, it’s always a threat, Sister -Pandora Rosier- much more likable, though still be cautious.
Regulus Black, New heir to the most Noble and ancient house of Black, Heartless and cold, often seen with a glare so sharp it cuts fruit cake. often picks fights with his older, Crowd favorite, brother, Sirius Black.
(Author’s note: I imagine, if this was a show it would have a close up on Sirius, as Girls swoon in the background, and Remus is just like… “Ladies, Ladies, Chill. That’s my man and if you lay a finger on him I will rip you into pieces!” Proceeds to chase them with a big ass book.)
And Dorcas Meadows, Hogwarts’ own Badass Bitch. Cares for no one, you get in her way she’ll make you eat the dirt she thinks you are. The only thing keeping her from getting expelled, they say, is the fact she’s on a first name basis with You-Know-who, himself.
Barty scoffed at all these.
Sure he was the ‘Oh So Great!’ Bartemius Crouch Sr.’s son. Destined to a life of ministry work and fighting for the good. Besides, all the things they say about his Friends are the biggest lies Barty has ever heard in his life.
Dorcas was for sure a Badass Bitch! But not for the reasons everyone says. She doesn’t let her fears take hold of her and she jumps on the nearest opportunity to have fun. As for the rest… She was the most caring person one could meet, she tended to Slytherin first years that often got bullied, she helped up the 5th, 6th, and 7th years that just didn’t have the energy to get up anymore. And she Laughed, and cried. And she loved her friends.
Regulus, He was the most misunderstood, in Barty’s opinion. He never wanted to be the heir, nor did he want the pain and suffering that came with losing his brother. The first day Barty had seen Regulus after the incident, was the first day he saw Regulus cry. He wept for hours on end and refused to leave his bed, until Madam Pomfery had to come and drag him to the hospital wing. Everything everyone perceives Regulus to be is the mask of perfection he had to perfect. Barty watched as Regulus grew so many years mentally in just a summer, grew apart from the world and the painful things that came with it. Regulus would come to school after every break with scars that looked as if he was shattered many times, torn and cut to pieces, then seemed back together in just enough time the Media and Ministry suspected nothing.
Evan. Yes, his parents are Death eaters, and Yes, his sister is really sweet. But Evan has so much more to him, he’s smart, Handsome, and knows how to shut people up with a slight twinge of his jaw…
“Barty. Barty. Barty? Bartemius Crouch Jr!” Barty jumped a mile as Dorcas yelled into his ear.
“Ow, what the hell Dorc!” Barty glared at her.
“Don’t call me that. And don't think I didn’t notice you eyeing Evan.” She playfully pushed him.
“Shove a sock up your–”
“Barty! Get your ass over here and use your brain to help me with my homework!” Evan yelled across the room in desperation.
Pleased that her ass was cut from the conversation she winks at Barty, “Go help him! Your damsel is in distress!”
Upon hearing that, Evan rolls his eyes as Barty sits down next to him pointing out the mistakes.
“Oh. Barty! My hero, the Uht, most handsomest man I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Dorcas laughed as Evan stood on the couch, (once Barty was finished explaining) as if stuck in a tower waiting for his prince. “My love, my everything!”
“M’Lady I will protect you with the love within my heart, that you may live a long and happy life!” Barty too stood on the couch then moved to the coffee table. “I will protect thee with my dying breath, that thus will lay with me, hand in hand, in our graves together as one!”
“Break it up Romeo and Juliet.” Regulus walks in holding a paper with the Black family crest on it, “Narcissa sent gossip.”
“Oooo~ gossip!” Barty was quick to stop his play in order to hear gossip, especially Black family gossip. C'est la cerise sur le gâteau. (Translation: It’s the cherry on the cake. ) Over all possible gossip.
///Evan’s POV///
The four of them retreated into Evan’s and Regulus’s room for more privacy before Regulus starts reading.
Dear,
Regulus
How have you been? I haven’t seen you in years! I’m going to get to the point.
You’re screwed.
Lucius overheard some people at the Ministry talking to Dumbledore about a Family activity night or week or I don’t really remember. But they just finalized the details and should be announcing it anytime soon. Hope you well, and make sure you write back before your untimely death.
Love you lot Littlest Black! X
– Narcissa Malfoy, née Black.
“FUCK NO!” Barty stood up and headed out the door, soon followed by Dorcas.
“Where are you going?” Evan called.
“To kill Dumbledore and whoever else planned this abomination.” Dorcas responds. The two Slytherins share a look before running after them.
People stared after them as the Heir of the Black, Rosier, and Crouch, along with Dorcas Meadows, a troublesome Gryffindor. The ladder was yelling at the two Slytherins running behind her to run faster.
The group of four stopped in front of the Statue guarding the headmaster’s office, “Does anyone know the password?” Barty asked hopefully.
“Nope.” Regulus and Dorcas say in unison.
A smirk grew on Evan’s lips as he realized the flaw in their plan, “Bet you didn’t think of that. huh, pretty boy?”
Barty rolled his eyes as Evan walked up to the door and said loud and clear, “Acid pops!”
The door creaked open, and they all walked up the staircase to the office. Upon reaching the door, they hear voices conversing.
“Albus I do not see the reasoning behind this!”
“And why do you say that Minerva?” Dumbledore seemed to be amused by the conversation.
“Because! There are multiple students all throughout the school that enjoy coming to Hogwarts to GET AWAY from their parents.” McGonagall Emphasized the last part. “Take the Black brothers for example. Sirius comes into my office multiple times a week, crying to me about how his brother Regulus needs to be saved and how we need to get him out of that Hell House. Just looking at the youngest Black it’s clear he’s not in a good situation! He’s pale, he’s quiet, and most of all he flinches at any movement. ”
Evan felt Regulus tense as she spoke. Worried about his friend, he decided to end this misery.
He knocked.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
There was a cold silence, “Come in.” Dumbledore’s voice called breaking the tension. As they walk in they’re greeted with a warm smile from both adults. “How may I help you?” He asked patiently.
“We came regarding the Family thing that you’re considering.” Barty explains once he was pushed forward by Dorcas.
“I see. And what concerns you about this matter?” Barty looked in between McGonagall and Dumbledore nervously.
“I…I uh, We just wanted to add that…” He looked at his friends then back at the teachers, “Great Idea definitely something we should do every year! You’re a genius.” Barty turned to his friends Apologetically.
“Good. I thought so too. And since you seem to show much appreciation I think you four would like to be our welcome comity! We’ll find others to help of course.” Dumbledore never seemed more killable then right then. Evan’s urge to twist the man’s head off was muffled from the same urge to strangle Barty to death.
////Time skip to Family activity night////
(It’s a mix of both povs. But it leans more on the side of Evan.)
Dumbledore had not been lying when he put them in charge of welcoming the parents. That much was obvious when he announced that not only they but also a select few from Gryffindor would be up for the job.
So on the bitter cold night of January 19th. Barty, and Evan along with that scarred up Gryffindor, stood at the front doors of the castle as their peer’s parents walked by. Evan stood in a corner as the Gryffindor sat against the doors reading a book. Barty sighed.
“Did Regulus really have to be paired with his brothers and that other dude? I can hear them arguing again!” Evan laughed lovingly at him but before any of them could say anything, the Gryffindor did.
“That other dude is James Potter, Sirius and mine’s best friend. And the only reason their fight is because Regulus has been ignoring Sirius ever since Sirius runaway from home. And Regulus refused to acknowledge his existence, then later we find out that James and Regulus have been secretly going out for about a year and failed to tell anyone.” Barty and Evan stared shocked. “Remus Lupin, by the way. The Intelligent of the Marauders.” He held his arm out and they shook it.
“Barty Crouch.” Barty’s jaw was permanently dropped from the facts of the day..
“And I’m Evan Rosier.” Evan was too shocked but concealed it better.
“Nice to meet you both, Officially.” They’re all quiet for a beat. “How do you feel about putting on a show for the parents?” Lupin asked mischievously.
“I say let the show begin!” Barty grinned at the thought.
“We have to welcome the parents though.” Evan seemed to be the only logical one.
“Huh. and to think you’re the Slytherin here.” Barty and Lupin laughed as Evan glared at them both.
“Oh Barty, is that your Father I see?” Evan knew it was evil but if he was honest Barty deserved it.
“Shit!” Barty ducked behind Evan, as he searched the area. “Hey! You asshole! He’s not–”
“Bartemius Crouch Jr. we do not use such foul language!”
Well Damn.
Evan raised an eyebrow that clearly says, “Who's the asshole now?”
“Shut up Rosier. You little dickhead.” Barty mumbled this under his breath from behind Evan as he turns to face his Father. “Oh! How good to see you, Father! How’s mother? Is she here?”
“She’s doing well. She’s over talking to some friends in the Great hall.”
“Great! You should join her! I know how much you love talking about yourself and your work and how much I disappoint you.” Barty pushed his father toward the group of people with rushed excuses on why he can’t talk and how he has a job to do.
“Well that’s one way to do it.” Lupin laughs as Barty makes his way back.
“Shut it. Both of you.” Barty folded his arms defiantly.
“Never.” They say in unison.
“Now let the Prank planning begin!”