BLACKHOLE/LEO (REGULUS)
BLACKHOLE
Regulus wakes up with the feeling of death; he wonders for a second if this is the end, if this is how it feels to die.
"I'm going to die," Regulus whines into the pillow, his head heavy, mouth dry, his throat feels like it's been sandpapered.
"No, no one is dying." He hears James groan beside him.
"We're going to die; I can feel it." Regulus cries.
"You're just hungover; it's fine." He hears James get up with difficulty, groaning and moaning; Regulus is scared to open his eyes.
"This is God's punishment." Regulus opens his eyes and immediately closes them; the curtains weren't closed; they didn't close the curtains last night. Regulus had sex while the curtains were wide open, and he could feel himself spiralling.
"No need to bring God into this," James laughs, sitting beside him. "Got you water and some pills."
"Don't wanna," Regulus sniffs; he's heavy, he feels heavy, too big for his body.
"Alright, I will place it on the table- hey, are you crying?"
"No!" Regulus cries, quickly covering his face.
"Why're you crying? Do you regret it? Did I do something?" James's voice fills with panic.
Regulus glares at James; he knows it's not as effective due to the tears running down his face quietly. "Not everything is about you."
"How do you cry so silently?" James asks instead, leaning in for a closer look, his glasses lost in the mess from last night.
"Piss off," Regulus' voice breaks. The weight of guilt is a familiar companion, coupled with the constant state of regrets. It's something he's used to. But it's bearing down on him heavily, suffocating him. He can feel it in every part of his body.
"Are you okay? What's going on? I don't know what to do; I told you I don't do this often." James stands up and sits down again, looking around before looking at Regulus
"It's fine, I'm just," Regulus blinks repeatedly. "Can you close the curtains?"
"Of course." James nods, getting up and pulling the curtains down.
"That didn't do anything. What is wrong with you? You need to get blackout curtains."
"No, those things are evil; they make me sleep all day. When I wake up and see the sun shining through my window it makes me happy," James smiles and stretches his big arm muscles, "Ready for the day."
He grabs a box of Kleenex and hands it to Regulus.
"It makes me happy, ready for the day," Regulus mimics, wincing at the laugh James barks.
"How are you not dead?" Regulus complains, shoving the pill James gave him into his mouth and following it with a glass of water, chugging it in one go. "That does not help with how dry my mouth and throat feel. It hurts more if anything."
"I have Jakemans," James offers.
"What flavour?"
"Blueberry menthol."
"Yuck, no, it will make me feel sick." Regulus shakes his head and lays back on the bed; it's comfortable; he pulls the tissue James gave him to wipe the tears away.
"So—" Whatever James was going to say was lost in Regulus's high-pitched cry, letting out a sob in his hands, squishing the tissue in his eyes. "Oh my god,"
"I'm- I'm sorry, I'm such a mess," Regulus stammers; he doesn't know what to do with the feeling in his chest; it's all coming back, Tom, the breakup, the misery; he suffocated it all yesterday, but it's coming back, it's stretching and inhaling against his skin, against his bones taking so much space Regulus is afraid there will be nothing left inside of him except for this pain.
"No need to apologise, hey?" The look of pure panic on James's face is so funny. Regulus chuckles a little while crying.
"This is so embarrassing." Regulus wipes his face before looking at James.
"I—" Regulus sighs, "I feel guilty."
"Why?" James frowns cocking his head to the side, he lays down on his side, all Poseidon, shirtless with shorts on, big fat thighs that irritate him but at the same time, Regulus wants to squish his face on them, ride them, rub himself against them until—
"Many reasons."
"Such as," James encourages him.
Regulus fidgets with his fingers. He might as well. He's never seeing James again, and he needs an outlet. Barty sleeps like hell after a night out, and he won't give Regulus any more drugs. Looking at James with his kind, squinting eyes, he wants to use him, let it out to a stranger who doesn't know him and won't judge him.
"God."
James nods at that, an understanding look on his face.
"My ex."
James doesn't look as understanding.
"Fuck him." James waves his hands.
"It's not that easy—I don't know." Regulus puts his hand on his lips to stop them from quavering, "I don't know what to do with all the pain." Regulus whispers.
"It's not," James sighs. "I'm sorry that was insensitive, but I'm great at this; when I broke up with my ex, I was a mess." James scratches the back of his head.
"When did it get better?" Regulus asks.
"It took a lot of time," James begins, "But it did get better. Breakups are truly horrible. I know there are countless songs and movies about them, but no matter how many songs you listen to or movies you watch, it doesn't prepare you for it."
Regulus wipes his ever-falling tears, "I wanted him to love me."
"I'm sure he did," James says softly.
Regulus nods. "Maybe, but I-" he shakes his head and starts crying feverishly.
James doesn't do anything except reach over and pat his covered knee. Shame covers him; it's so embarrassing. This random man wanted to have sex with a stranger and have fun, and now said stranger is having a meltdown.
"Well-"
"I'm going to be sick," Regulus gasps, clutching James's hands tightly as waves of nausea crash over him. His stomach churned, dizziness clouding his senses while cold sweats broke out across his skin.
"Shit," James hisses, swiftly rising to his feet. "Wait, just hold on!"
Regulus groans, pressing his hands against his mouth as James scoops him up, carrying him bridal style to the connected bathroom.
Acid surges up Regulus's throat, burning fiercely as it passes through his nose and throat. He trembles, gripping the toilet lid tightly for support. He will have a crisis over raw-dogging a toilet lid later or tomorrow, but right now, he needs something to hold onto.
"You're going to be alright," James murmurs, attempting to offer comfort amidst the distress. He gently secures Regulus's unruly curls away from his forehead, using what Regulus assumes is a hair clip to keep them away from his face.
"I'll never be alright," Regulus manages weakly, his voice hoarse and scratchy. His body radiating heat and sweat. "It came out of my nose."
"Fucks sake," James says sympathetically.
"How are you alright?" Regulus lets go of the toilet and pats the cold bathroom floor, checking for a spot; he lays on it when he finds it, putting his now overheated body on top of it.
"What's going on?" James whispers
Regulus opens his eyes and sees thighs in shorts; he closes them immediately as his mind starts wandering; if he gets jolted up and down, he might faint.
"Floor. Cold. Nice."
"I'm sure it's nice."
"Why. you." Regulus points to where he thinks James' face is. "Alright."
"I guess you're trying to understand why I'm doing just fine."
Regulus hums, closing his eyes and pressing his face on the floor. He doesn't know if James has ever cleaned it, but he will freak out about that tomorrow.
"Seeing as you threw up liquids, I say you didn't eat before drinking and taking drugs."
"Seeing as you threw up liquids, I say you didn't eat before drinking and taking drugs," Regulus mimics in a high-pitched voice that makes his head pound harder. "Tosser."
"I'm not a tosser, Imma not a tosser." James replies with the same high-pitched voice.
"Shuddap," Regulus presses his forehead on the floor, moving to lay on his stomach; he yelps when his cock touches the cold floor. "Why am I nude."
"You're not; I put a shirt on you; it's big, floaty, you know."
"My cock on the floor." Regulus slurs.
"Because the shirt rose up." James lifts Regulus off the floor, helping him sit up, and repositions Regulus so that his back is against the wall. He squeaks when his sore bum touches the floor.
"My bum. Cold." Regulus moans, his eyes closed.
"I know, baby. Just let me," James lifts Regulus' hips up and pulls his shirt down to cover his bum so it's no longer making direct contact with the floor.
Regulus blushes a bit; he likes how James goes along with whatever he says. It's unlike Tom, who usually leaves him to sort his own shit.
Tom
He's spiralling again.
"Hey, no." James places both hands on Regulus' shoulders, holding him up so he doesn't lie on the floor again. "Open your eyes. Look at the shirt you're wearing. It's David Bowie. Everybody loves David."
Regulus would really rather not, but he's shutting them too tightly, giving him a headache.
"Oh," Regulus looks down at himself. Huh, he is wearing a shirt, a dirty oversized David Bowie shirt. "I don't like David Bowie."
"What?" James screams, "Sorry."
"Don't do that." Regulus hisses through his teeth.
"It's very shocking," James whispers. "How can you not like Bowie?"
"I don't care for his stories." Regulus shrugs.
"I'm trying really hard not to scream, Regulus, but you're making it very difficult."
"This girl has no idea what she wants, oh her life is a show, this guy is lost, this other guy wants to be a girl, this other girl—"
"And they are all good." James defends the man.
"What I'm trying to get at is talk about yourself for a change; tell me what you're going through." Regulus shrugs before putting his hands on the floor and lifting himself up to James. "Spill your secrets to me."
"I can spill all my secrets if you want." James smiles brightly at Regulus.
"Nuh-uh, not you, David." Regulus nods to himself. "He needs to tell me everything."
"You don't want to hear about my darkest secrets?" James stands up, making his way to the bathtub, and turning on the faucet.
Regulus looks at James' back and frowns. "No, I don't care about you."
"That's hurtful." James sighs, making a show of his body slumping.
"You will get over it." Regulus places his head back on the bathroom wall. "My brother likes him; I don't like my brother."
"Is your brother a cunt?" James laughs; Regulus clicks his tongue at the crude word but nods anyway before deciding to let it out; what's a swear word to god compared to sex, drugs.
"All siblings are cunts, cunts, repulsive dreadful loathsome cunts who should die." Regulus goes on and on; it's nice Regulus can tell James is trying to get his mind off his ex, and it's working.
"Well, I don't have any siblings, so I can't comment on that, but my friend does; he rarely talks about his brother, though, so I don't know." James is searching for something in his drawer.
"Bet he would say he's a cunt—" Regulus swallows hard, feeling queasy once again. He crawls to the toilet at lightning speed, heaving and vomiting once again.
"Damn." James mutters, approaching Regulus and gently rubbing his back in comfort.
"Oh, Mary and her son," Regulus cries and puts his forehead on the toilet lid, his head pounding. "M'head hurts."
"At least it didn't come out of your nose this time."
"Did so." Regulus slurs, "M'disgusting."
"It's alright." James tries to reassure him. Still, Regulus is already choking up, his palms clammy, his entire body cold and sweaty.
"It's not alright; I will never be alright again." Regulus cries into his hands.
"Hey, no, it's just for now; it will get better."
"I want it to be better now." Regulus screams into his hands.
"Dear God," James whispers to himself, "I got a bath running; you could take a bath, wash off all the nasty from yesterday."
"Dunno," Regulus cries. "I just wanted him to love me."
"How long have you been together?"
"Three years." Regulus murmurs, pulling his knees up and resting his head on them.
"I'm sure he loved you." James runs a hand through his curly hair; it's comforting.
"You don't know that." Regulus puts his cheek on his palms, watching James, sitting criss-cross with a concentrated look on his face.
"Three years is a long time, and I may have only met you yesterday, but you are absolutely wonderful."
"M'not, project vomit all over your bathroom."
"Actually, you did it in the toilet, so thank you for that."
"Nobody ever loved me." Regulus cries.
"Hey!" James' hand outstretched. "Let's get you into the bath; it's hot, it will warm you up, make you feel clean, nice, not shitty, you're just feeling shitty. That's what it is."
Regulus lifts his head, blinking at James, who looks really worried; he's 100% sure that's not true.
"Will you wash me?" He wants to seem adorable and innocent, but he's unsure if the vomit breath is helping.
"If you want me to." James nods, smiling softly.
"Want you to," Regulus wipes his tears. "And I want to die, and I want food, but I'm so so nauseous."
"Let's just," James takes off Regulus's shirt, throwing it behind his back; he picks up Regulus bridal style again.
"Not too fast." Regulus says weakly; he sighs as he gets placed in the warm water.
The water is neither too hot nor too cold—perfect, just like the man he's with. He's perfect; almost too perfect, much like Tom with his glass smile and sharp teeth. Tom patiently waits for him to let his guard down so he can bite hard, breaking his skin until he bleeds, leaving his marks all over until Regulus loses sight of where his skin starts and the bites end.
He recalls Tom's smirk, shark-like, watching him drown in misery. The blood from Tom's bite streams with the water, and all Regulus can do is stare at that grin as life gets sucked out of him by a shark, a snake, a partner, a mother, a father, a brother.
"Still here." James whispers. Regulus snaps his head up, looking at James, who gives him a weary smile.
"Yeah." Regulus nods, his voice quiet.
"Where did you go?" James sits down next to the tub, holding a toothbrush that has paste on it.
"To the sea." Regulus shrugs.
"I always reckoned myself a lobster." James grins.
"A lobster?" Regulus moves his hand in the water; it smells nice.
"Like the little mermaid." James nods.
"Jamaican?" Regulus giggles.
"Tottenham," James nods, "Suck your mum," James continues in an atrocious Jamaican accent wiggling his eyebrows.
"Wrap it up." Regulus splashes the Alpha. "More of a lobsterback."
"I'm not a lobsterback!"
"Sepoy?" Regulus suggests.
"I'm half white."
"Identity crisis?"
"Alright," James laughs and holds up the toothbrush. "Let's brush your teeth and pray to God you don't vomit again."
"Are you saying my breath stinks?"
Regulus has to hand it to James; he is good at distracting and deflecting and changing the subject, never letting Regulus simmer in his thoughts. Many would view it as a good thing, but Regulus doesn't. James could manipulate Regulus to hell and back; he would let James string him along for three years, and Regulus would play along just so James could love him.
"Your breath is disgusting, yes." James nods.
"Fuck you." Regulus flips the bird.
"After we're done." James leans down and places a kiss on Regulus' lips.
Regulus responds to shut that voice in his head up; it's coming back slowly, no longer sedated with drugs and alcohol.
"I love the taste of acid- ow! Sorry, I'm sorry." James laughs; Regulus stops hitting him and opens his mouth, leaning forward. "You want me to do it?"
Regulus rolls his eyes and keeps his mouth open.
"Anything for you, princess."
The gentle sound of running water fills the space as James tenderly brushes Regulus' teeth. The quietness leads Regulus to softly hum ‘Miserere Mei’ with his mouth open. At the same time, the water gradually rises to his chest.
"You have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you." Regulus responds, but the words come out as gibberish due to the brush in his mouth, prompting James to burst into laughter.
"Catholic?" James asks.
"Uh-huh,"
"Did you go to a catholic school?"
"Uh-huh,"
"Is it true that everybody was having sex but with loopholes?"
"Uh-huh,"
"Not much of a loophole."
"Uh-huh,"
"A hole is a hole."
"Eah,"
"All done!" James takes out the brush and brings him a cup to spit in. Regulus takes some water from the bath and slushes it around his mouth before spitting it in the cup again; he sighs, feeling the mint refreshing him, "Here."
James holds two pills in his hand; Regulus frowns at them. "What is it?"
"Nausea, headache." James moves his head left and right as he names the meds.
”I already had some.” Regulus pouts.
“You kinda… threw it all up.”
"Thanks." Regulus exhales as he takes them, wondering why he's trusting him as he swallows the meds. Why is he trusting this random man he met yesterday? Is it because his smile is big and authentic? Or is it because his eyes are alive and shining? Or did Regulus just hit a point where he ran out of fucks to give?
Regulus looks down at his body and gasps, "Are you a fucking dog!? What the fuck?” Regulus opens his legs to look at his inner thigh, big bite marks on his whole body; he looks at his arms and then back at the Alpha, whose eyes are dark and wanting.
"I can't lie, it's fucking hot," James says in a low voice.
"You're unbelievable; people will see this." Regulus points at his arms.
James squeezes his left upper arm in his large hand. "No one needs to see it if you don't show them your body." James' eyes don't leave his; he swallows, feeling himself getting wet.
"Yeah, alright," Regulus nods; he wiggles his arms out of James' hands.
Getting jolted up and down still seems like a bad idea; he might throw up on the Alpha.
"Sorry," James says, letting go and running a hand through his hair. "I will get you some body wash and shampoo and then leave you alone."
"No, wait, don't leave."
"Do you want me to help you?" James says, handing him the products; Regulus exhales at the 'two in one' label. "What?"
"You should get shampoo and conditioner, not a two-in-one. Shampoo is not a conditioner, and vice versa. It's probably why your hair doesn't seem to cooperate."
"You sound like my friend," James laughs, running a hand through his hair again, messing it up more. "So shall we?"
"No, it's fine," Regulus shakes his head. "I will do it myself. You just sit down and talk."
"Talking, yeah, I can do that." James sits down next to the tub again. "So, how old are you?"
"I'm twenty-one." Regulus opens the bottle of body wash and starts with his arms. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-four."
"Did you take a bath already?" Regulus looks at James, probably for the first time, the meds working, taking his edge off.
"Yup, took a shower. Honestly, I went back to bed after, you know, hungover and all that."
"Oh? Isn't the bed disgusting?"
"Not to me." James smirks. It should irritate Regulus, but it really really doesn't.
"Yuck."
"And you smell nice; I wanted to be right next to it."
"Were you sniffing me?" Regulus raises an eyebrow alongside his arm, washing his underarms.
"Well…. Yes," James is blushing while smirking. "You're less mean when sober."
"I'm sad, I guess." Regulus dips his arms in the water, washing off the body soap; he looks at James and notices the empathy in his eyes; he wants to gouge his eyes out.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Regulus snaps before taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. "I- I think I will be sad for a while."
"You will be." James nods. "I was."
"Ugh," Regulus scratches his arms before grabbing the shampoo; he wants to open up and talk about the void he's in to a complete stranger. It feels less scary than talking to someone he knows; strangers can't hold something over you.
"Tell me." James is closer now.
"About?"
"Anything, everything, whatever is on your mind."
"I'm catholic." Regulus starts wrapping his arms around himself. "I grew up Catholic; my parents are also Catholics; they are strong people, strong and harsh. I don't know if they love me."
"I'm sure they do." James interjects, uncertainly.
"No, they don't." Regulus asserts firmly, "I say I don't know to make myself feel better. They like me; they like that I follow everything they tell me, and I, in turn, sought their approval. For the longest time, I thought it was love." Regulus looks at James, his voice flat. "But watching other parents, ones who truly love their children, I realised mine weren't like that. My mother, especially, was harsh. So harsh," Regulus says, his grip tightening on his arms, a forced smile etching on his face.
He remembers her hands on his shoulder, weighing him down, her sharp smile.
Tom was the same.
"But I have this yearning for her love and affection. When I was ten, ten maybe eleven. I got really sick, and she placed her hand on my forehead; I still remember it." Regulus places his hand on his forehead, trying to mimic the feeling. "How gentle it felt to have her hand on my forehead; it was soothing and comforting. I prayed to God I would get sick again to feel it."
James remains silent and Regulus can't stop talking. He withdraws his hand from his forehead, then reaches up to remove the hair clip from his hair. He hands it to James, who accepts it and places it on his head. Regulus lets out a dry chuckle before continuing.
"But I didn't. I grew resentful. I got angry because he didn't answer me; he was indifferent to me like my father is. I started having these thoughts that none of this is real, that it's all made up so humans feel less lonely. That's when I started Marian praying. It might seem silly—she's not a God—but maybe that's the point. She's not a god. She doesn't have the power to make it all better. So, I grew closer to her. I have this connection to her. It calms me down. I feel peaceful. I'm unsure if God exists. My mind's a mess," Regulus adds, splashing shampoo into his hair, lost in his thoughts.
"It's not stupid," James emphasises. "Maybe that's enough, maybe it's not important if it's real or not, maybe she's here for people like you, to help you feel less alone. She's real. She's not real, who cares? But the feeling of peacefulness is real."
"I feel guilty for having these thoughts." Regulus places his hand in the water before wiping his face. "I feel guilty all the time for so many things."
"You shouldn't feel guilty for questioning things, for being curious," James says. "I think it's a good thing."
"My brother once told me it's all bullshit, you know, and that I eat whatever bullshit my parents feed me." Regulus says instead.
"That's not right." James frowns. "Your brother shouldn't have said that."
"He hated it." Regulus says. "He hated anything to do with it."
"Maybe he was going through his own religious issues and got angry when you had a solid foundation." James cocks his head to the side. "I always had a solid foundation in my beliefs, which sometimes annoyed my friends."
"Maybe he's right," Regulus shakes his head. "I feel like I never got to experience being free from myself, from parents, from anything really. I went from having bad parents to a bad partner."
James taps his teeth, "What was he like?"
"Like my family combined in one person," Regulus laughs bitterly. "He—" he sighs.
"If you don't want to tell me, that's alright, Regulus. I'm here to listen," James says gently.
Regulus looks at James, murmuring, "Why are you doing this?"
"I'm great at listening," James smiles, the expression fading. "And I've been there before. Talking helps and I love to help. I told you, I'm a firefighter. I live off helping others."
Regulus weakly smiles back before continuing, "He was cold all the time. But when he was nice..." Regulus's smile turns bitter. "I gave him all this love, but it wasn't enough. Nothing I did was enough."
"He sounds like a proper jerk." James scoffs.
Regulus laughs amidst his tears. "Yeah, but it meant everything to me when he was nice. I think he knew that."
"What makes you think he knew that?" James asks.
"He would yell at me, then ignore me for days. I'd end up begging for his attention because I got lonely," Regulus's voice trembles with anger. "And when he got exponentially horrible, he'd apologize, and I'd forgive him. I did that every single time because he was just lovely when he wanted to be. It made me doubt myself."
James frowns, "Do you think he was doing that on purpose, starving you of attention then—"
"—Making me beg for it?" Regulus nods, a distant look in his eyes. "I was a beggar. I think I'm used to it. I thought it was normal to beg for love. I still think it is. I've begged for attention and love for as long as I can remember. I don't know what else to do."
"It's not; I thought that too. For a while, I had a crush on this girl, and I would do anything to get her attention, but I think I just..." James waves a hand dismissively."...wanted to be loved unconditionally, for all my weird quirks and anger issues."
Regulus raises his eyebrows, "You don't seem like someone with anger issues."
"Good, I've worked really hard on that, but it sometimes surfaces." James wiggles his eyebrows before turning serious. "I'm sorry you had to endure that."
Regulus's eyes well up. "I've been starved to the bone so many times and I got sick of it. I got sick of him and everything he does."
"You didn't deserve that." James gently tugs at Regulus's arms, his eyes shimmering. "You didn't deserve to beg for anything. You're amazing."
"You just met me yesterday. I could be a horrible person."
"You're not." James shakes his head. "I've got this feeling inside me that tells me you're not. I'm good at reading people or maybe, I'm just crazy and love too easily."
"Love?" Regulus's eyes widened.
"Not love-love," James laughs nervously. "But I easily love people as friends, as partners, as anything. And I can tell you're not what your ex made you to be or what your family made you believe."
Regulus looks up at James, "Yeah?"
"Yes, you— you're beautiful. There's this fire in you. It shouldn't be stifled by anything or anyone. Not your family, not your partner, not your friends. I want you to be free, Regulus, to find what you're looking for."
"You think I'm looking for something?" Regulus shakes his head. "I'm not."
James smiles gently. "You are. You just told me. What you're describing is someone looking for meaning. Looking for freedom outside of other people."
Regulus breaks into a sob before cutting himself off. "I—"
He can't believe it; he can't believe the guy he picked up from the club read him so easily, so flawlessly; he feels seen, he feels known.
"Find it." James guides Regulus to the faucet, washing away the shampoo. Regulus feels the water running through his hair and takes a shaky breath.
"I was going to work for another company," Regulus tells James after the man allows him to move. "I don't think I want to do that," Regulus shakes his head. "I read this self-help book. It told me I'm wonderful and amazing, that I'm all these things, and I want to become those things." Regulus tries to explain.
James laughs heartily. "You are all these things. You need to embrace all the pain from your family and your ex and then let it go, start anew."
"I'm scared." Regulus admits, allowing James to wrap him in a towel.
"Change is frightening, but it's also freedom." James reassures.
-
"Are you sure about this?" James whispers.
Regulus nods, grabbing James' shoulders and bringing him closer; he kisses James' lips slowly and steadily with no urgency; he lays on top of James' thigh, putting his cock on top of the smooth, large muscle.
"It's not as squishy as I thought it would be." Regulus says breathlessly.
"Never skip leg day." James stares at Regulus, his eyes never leaving Regulus' body.
Regulus wraps his legs around James' thigh; he whimpers, moving his body slowly against the soft skin, moaning as he leaves trails of slick all over the thigh, his hard cock moving across the thigh, precum and slick, making his move easy.
"That's it, baby, you're doing amazing." James moans, grabbing his hips and squeezing them.
"I can't stop thinking about your thighs." Regulus mewls.
"I can't stop thinking about you. Look at your body covered in my markings."
"Yeah?" Regulus grabs James twitching cock in his hands, stroking it slightly.
"I want to fuck you." James moans, licking his lips as his cock jumps in Regulus' hands.
Regulus doesn't stop; he keeps moving, not too fast or too hard, his hangover still looming. "Fuck me softly, gen- gently."
"Just the way you want to." James sits up, bringing Regulus' hands to his face and kisses them. Regulus watches his messy hair fall to his forehead; he blinks at James's dimpled smile as he lays him on his back.
"The bed is still dirty," Regulus mumbles, his face flushed.
"I don't consider that dirty," James whispers, kissing his lips, his hands working a condom on his cock.
“Oh," Regulus moans as James enters him softly, pushing his length in, hard and soft.
"You're so wonderful." James tells him gently, pressing soft kisses against his jaw and neck. Regulus wraps his arms around James' shoulders, bringing him closer until their chests touch, until Regulus can feel James' heartbeat against his chest.
-
"Can you promise me one thing?" James stands by the door of the apartment complex. Regulus glances up, then back at the street; his Uber should arrive in 3 minutes.
"What is it?" Regulus' hair is dry, he feels open, aching in the most pleasant way; the cold doesn't bother him, he still feels the warmth of James' body
"Come back. When you find what you're looking for, come back and find me." James leans down, gently pressing his temples against Regulus's.
"What if you find someone?" Regulus frowns.
"I won't. I'll wait." James responds, placing his thumb on Regulus's furrowed brow, smoothing it out.
"That's stupid."
"Haven't you heard? I'm not the smartest guy around." James quips, cupping Regulus's face in his hands.
"I'll have to return your jacket at some point, I guess." Regulus mumbles, fiddling with the jacket zippers.
James smiles, his dimples greeting Regulus.
Regulus smiles back just as vividly.
Constellation of Leo: REGULUS
Regulus climbs into the Uber. He doesn't get James's number or any means to contact him, but he memorises the street and the flat number. Maybe when he lets go of everything and starts anew, he will begin with a knock on James's door. But for now, he allows himself to feel sad.