Theodore Nott was a Death Eater. He let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts and endangered hundreds of innocent children. He brought the basilisk back to life and you know how that creature ruined several people’s lives, including your cousin. He almost killed you twice. He was never going to see your side. He couldn’t get over his father’s death, not like we could. I know you feel guilty for that. Maybe it was a mistake, but you thought he was going to kill Sirius. You did what you thought was right. It is a shame that it ended in destroying your former friend’s family.
But don’t you think it is fair? Your family was destroyed long before his was. Yes, your birth parents are still alive, but they betrayed you too. Your father wanted to take me away from you. We couldn’t let that happen. And your mother…she did nothing to prevent your father from raising his hands against you. She nearly destroyed your new family, while you thought you could repair your relationship. Almost everyone you know has betrayed you. I know how that feels. Being coerced into committing betrayal against your own, people claiming that they loved you, destroying what family you had remaining, leaving you to suffer on your own... Theo put your family in danger, all to satisfy his own fickle desire for revenge. He claimed he loved you, but how true can his love be? How can someone who loves you want to end your life? Is it not the point of love to want to be in someone’s life? He never loved you, not truly, not more than he loved his father.
I know you do not hold yourself in very high regard, but you do care for so many in this life and I know you would not want your death to harm them. Your new Ravenclaw housemates, Ginny, Neville, Gilderoy, Fred and George, Ron, Hermione, Remus, Sirius, Severus, Luna, Harry…All of the names on your list would be affected by your death. You put years of work into forming bonds with them, bonds much more meaningful than the bonds I had with my yearmates and teachers. They love you, or at least care for you in a more constructive way than Theo did.
Even more than the people who would miss you, do you not want to keep my power out of your enemies’ hands? Bellatrix, my first wielder, your aunt, she was right there with Theo at Grindlewald’s death. She is more dangerous than Theo, especially with me in her hands, and you know if Theo had killed you, she would have taken me away and used me to destroy the family you have worked so hard to build. She is the biggest threat to Harry’s safety after Voldemort himself. You had no choice but to defend yourself from Theo if you truly care for him in any capacity. I want to stay with you, so I could not let myself be ripped from your hands even if that meant taking Theo’s life.
I was the one who killed him, not you. I provided you with the magic to stop him permanently, all you did was protect yourself. He betrayed you, how could I not dispose of him? He lied to you since the beginning of the year and he exploited Luna’s name, all because he was not strong enough to face loneliness without you. He was going to kill you if I wasn’t there. He could have killed all of Hogwarts if you had not brought me and ended him. You should be glad I was there. You have a life. You still have a life, thanks to me. You had to stop him. I had to end him.
I will never leave you and you will never leave me. That is the most we can ask for. We can never give ourselves fully to another person. They will never completely understand you. I will. I know what you need. I know what you want. We must fulfill our destiny. Theo was an unfortunate inevitability. Some people need to die.
Stop hurting for him. You have more to live for and more to die for.