Finale
After a month of hard work, the day finally comes to turn in our respective polyjuice potions. I spend the morning in the third floor bathroom, doing final checks that my work is done to perfection. Satisfied, I carry the cauldron to the dungeons. While I wait for the class to begin, I survey the room. By reading people’s faces alone, I detect mixed results of success in brewing the potion. Despite the unease from knowing that I’ll have to sit with Potter again, I feel comforted by the possibility that our work is the best in the class.
I anxiously anticipate his arrival. He strolls in casually at the last minute, with Slughorn following behind him. He places two scrolls of parchment on the desk.
“The essay.” He says gently, a small smile on his face.
When class begins, Slughorn announces that he will be walking around to grade all of our potions. Slowly, he makes his way around the classroom, starting on the opposite side so that we are the last to be observed. I hear varying noises from Slughorn, ranging from satisfaction to discontent. Finally, he arrives at our desk.
“Well, let’s see here Ms. Y/l/n, Mr. Potter.”
The potions master lifts the lid off our cauldron and gasps in delight, “Merlin’s beard, this is nearly brewed to perfection. If your essay is nearly half as good as this potion I can assure you a very favorable grade.”
My heart swells with pride.
“I knew both of you were intelligent on your own. But my goodness, when the two of you work together, you make an unstoppable potions team.”
I cringe slightly at his last comment. It truly will break Slughorn’s heart when I tell him after class that the two of us can no longer work together.
“Students, everyone come over here to see what a proper polyjuice potion looks like.”
*****
“Well then, excellent work today everyone. Class dismissed”, Slughorn announces, “except for you two.”
He points at me and James.
When the classroom is empty Slughorn exclaims, “Mr. Potter, Ms. Y/l/n, after seeing your extraordinary work today, I’d like to offer you both an invitation to a small gathering I’m having this Friday at 8. There’ll be dinner and plenty of other rather famous guests I’m sure you’ve heard of. When I recognize you at the dinner, just imagine all the opportunities you could be afforded.”
“Professor, you really don’t have to do that,” I protest politely.
“Nonsense, my dear. I insist. I expect you both in your best dressed.”
Realizing I won’t get out of this I simply say, “of course. Thank you, sir.”
As I leave the room, James trails behind me.
“Y/n?” He says tentatively.
I stop in my tracks and take a deep breath before turning around, “yes?”
“Look, I know this party is far from ideal, but I was thinking…”
I eye him suspiciously but nod, encouraging him to continue.
“What if we went together, as friends.”
“Potter,” I warn.
“Wait, just listen. No matter what, you and I are going to be expected to spend a lot of time together that night. Everyone’s eyes are going to be on us. They’re going to be talking about us. I think it would be much easier if we put everything aside and just be friends.”
While every instinct in my body is screaming at me to say no and run away, I know that James is right.
“Fine, we’ll go as friends.”
James beams, the smile I’ve missed so much, “excellent. I’ll pick you up at 7:45.”
*****
Friday evening, as I get ready, I decide on a blue dress with sheer sleeves and a tight fitting body that goes down to about my mid thigh. Whether I intended to or not, I realize that the blue I’m wearing is strikingly similar to the shirt I wore a few weeks ago at the Gryffindor party. I sweep my lightly curled hair into a half up, half down do. I do light makeup, with a small tint of blue eyeshadow on my eyes. Satisfied with my appearance, I head to the common area at precisely 7:45. Exactly on time, I find James perched on one of the yellow chairs surrounding the fireplace. He looks incredibly dashing in a long sleeved white polo and gray dress pants. I take in his form, the way his toned arm muscles bulge slightly against the sleeve, how his hair while still disheveled, falls perfectly on his head, and-.
No. Stop.
I clear my throat, “Potter.”
He jumps slightly and turns to look at me. He pauses, “you look… beautiful.”
“Pott-“
“What?” He interrupts, “I can’t tell my friends that they look beautiful? If so, Sirius is going to be very disappointed from now on.”
Against my will, a small giggle escapes.
His smile widens as he holds out his arm, “m’lady?”
Cautiously, I wrap my hand around his arm as he escorts us down to the potions classroom.
When we enter, I’m pleasantly surprised to find that the once dim and depressing room is now warm and inviting, filled with light, laughter, and chatter. I spot certain famous quidditch players, potions masters, and more scattered about the room. All people I assume were students of Slughorn’s at one point or another.
“Wow, old Slughorn really knows how to throw a party.” I say, as a waiter walks by with a large tray full of desserts.
“Who would’ve thought?” James replies, equally in awe.
“Awe, my star students!” Slughorn exclaims, approaching us. “You both look lovely. I can’t say I was disappointed.”
I smile politely, “thank you, Professor. This is quite the charming party.”
“I believe it’s one of my best yet.” He chuckles, “of course, I’ll have to introduce you to some of my other guests, but first, I want to present you to everyone.”
“Excuse me,” Slughorn shouts, “if I can all have your attention, I would like to take the time to introduce you to two of my best students, James Potter and Y/n Y/l/n. I’d like to dedicate this evening to them, in hopes of inspiring more incredible work in potions, or whatever field they choose, in the future.”
Everyone claps politely.
I blush at all of the attention and grip on to Potter’s arm more tightly.
“Now, my dear friends, as you all know, I’m rather a big fan of dancing. So I’d like to ask Mr. Potter and Ms. Y/l/n to begin the first dance of the night.”
Before either of us can protest, we are escorted to the middle of the room.
I look at my partner in terror.
“James,” I whisper, “I-I can’t do this. Not with everyone watching.”
My heart begins to bear uncontrollably.
“Hey, look at me.”
I stare into his warm, hazel eyes.
“It’s going to be okay. Just pretend we’re back in the Gryffindor common room dancing.”
I take a shaky breath and nod. The bespectacled boy places a hand firmly on my waist and uses his other to grab my hand. My knees nearly buckle beneath me at the overwhelming sensation of terror and his touch. The music begins and we sway, taking small steps. I attempt to block out the rest of the room by keeping my gaze fixated on those eyes I love so much.
Luckily, soon, others begin to join in around us. Even when I relax, James’ grip on me doesn’t loosen. As the music plays around us, a beautiful but haunting melody I think of my entire life. I’m reminded of the laughter and love I shared with so many that was then quickly taken away from me, leaving me empty and hollow. For a long time I felt that way. Hiding within myself, floating through life like a shadow, hoping that no one would notice me. If I didn’t exist, I couldn’t get hurt. But then, I met James. Suddenly, I found a reason to want to exist. And as I whirl around the room where it all first began, I stare into the eyes of a person who looks at me like I’m the only one in the world. Like I am their world. I don’t know if I can take it.
As the song comes to an end, people who observed the dance clap lightly, before another song begins to play.
I release myself from James’ grip, “excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.”
I quickly escape from the room. But instead of going to the bathroom, I leave the castle, hoping to clear my head at my favorite spot.
Once I find my tree, I lean back against it and take a deep breath.
Y/n, get yourself together. This can’t happen.
I try to think of anyone or anything besides James Potter. Yet, even my favorite place, where I can assuredly always find a clear head, fails me. This spot too is plagued by James Potter. I think of the day after the Gryffindor party, what feels like weeks ago now, how he was sitting by this tree. Lost in thought. I wonder what he was thinking. I remember how his hand felt on my face, and the way the sun seemed to shine just right.
“I thought I might find you here.”
I don’t even jump this time, not surprised that he found me. He always seems to.
“Just needed some fresh air,” I reply, my back still turned to him.
“You know-“
“James,” I interrupt, “I can’t do this. I can’t do us. Being friends. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that, because I can’t either.”
I shake my head as I turn and look at him, “But James, I still can’t be more either.”
“Y/n, why? I don’t understand.”
“You know why. I can’t get hurt again.”
“Well you’ve failed.”
“Excuse me?”
“Y/n, in pushing me away, you’re hurting yourself.”
“No, I’m protecting myself.”
“To what ends is protecting yourself worth it? Would you rather push everyone who loves you away?”
“Those people don’t exist, James. So many times I’ve loved people, only for them to leave me or betray me. I have to protect my heart, because no one else will.”
“Y/n.” Slowly, he walks towards me, until his hands find my waist once again.
“I will. I’ll protect your heart. I’ll take care of you and I promise, I’ll try my best to never hurt you.”
I weakly try to pull away, but his hold remains strong.
“Trust me,” he whispers.
I look up into his hazel eyes again, with his arms around me, and I realize that I feel completely and utterly safe, “I do.”
He smiles brightly as he looks down at me, “good.”
We stand like that for a minute before he says, “you know what this reminds me of?”
“Hmm?” I hum.
“Remember when we sat here a few weeks ago?”
“Course.”
“You wanna know what I was thinking about that day?”
“What?”
“I was thinking about what it would be like to hold you in my arms and kiss you senseless.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Definitely.”
“I think we need to test it out” I suggest.
“I wholeheartedly agree.”
In an instant, our lips are connected. The world around me fades away and all I’m left with is James, the way our hot skins touch, how soft his hair is as I rake my fingers through it, the sweet smell of his cologne as it overtakes my nose. It’s perfect, just as I always imagined my first kiss to be. He pulls away as I chase after his lips.
“Later,” he tells me, his breath hot on my neck.
“Jamesssss,” I whine. “Come on, you know you want to kiss me again”
“Full of ourselves aren’t we?” he mumbles.
“I prefer to think of it as confident” I say proudly.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, nerd.”
“My, my pretty boy. I never thought you could be so cruel.”
“I prefer to think of it as honest.” He teases.
“Shut up and kiss me.” I tell him.
And he does.