Week 1
It’s the first day of classes at Hogwarts and I can’t pretend that I’m not intimidated by the rumored rigor of the fated “seventh year”. Regardless of the rumors, I remind myself that it can’t be that bad, just as 6th year was much easier than supposed. I think the thing I truly fear about starting new classes is the change that comes with it. Although I’ve gone to school with the same group of kids since the day we came to Hogwarts for the first time as innocent, wide-eyed eleven year olds, I swear each new year they all come back totally changed people. They’re like strangers. Take James Potter, for example, the entire 6 years I’ve gone to school with Potter, he’s been an unruly, arrogant prankster who catches the attention of every girl at Hogwarts. Yet, from the rumors I heard, Potter’s been made Head Boy. He’s never even been a prefect before?! How someone who seems to have spent more time in detention than class all of sudden be Head Boy is beyond me. He must’ve really changed.
As these thoughts and anxieties plague my mind, I enter the cold, dark classroom in the dungeons for Potions. Before I am able to steal a seat near the back of the class, I realize that on the board there is a chart drawn out, giving us assigned seats.
I groan internally at the thought of being sat next to some prat.
I scan the board for my name and find that, not only am I seated at the front of the classroom, I will be sitting next to… James Potter.
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
I must insist, I have no personal vendetta against James Potter. In fact, I’ve spoken very few words to Potter in my entire time at Hogwarts. And while the pranks he pulls can at times be obnoxious, he seems like a decent person and kind friend. Regardless, he is incredibly loud, outgoing, and confident. He draws attention. I just want to keep my head down and do my work.
Dejectedly, I plop down at my desk and set my potions textbook in front of me. A few minutes later, in walks the prankster himself. Although his hair is slightly disheveled, his robes are pristine and the golden Head Boy badge shines brightly from its place on his person. He’s accompanied by his friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The other boy usually with them, Peter Pettigrew, is absent from their posse, not having received high enough marks to continue on in potions for another year.
I secretly watch as they too realize that Slughorn has arranged assigned seating. Although Black rolls his eyes at the prospect, Potter keeps a smile on his face as he finds his name. I lower my head to not be caught staring, focusing intently on the invisible dirt under my nails as he sits down in the seat next to me. I look up as he haphazardly drops his book atop the desk.
He gives me a warm grin as he says, “Hi Y/n! I see that we’ll be potions partners this year.”
I nod awkwardly, “I suppose so.”
I give a small smile, so as not to appear rude, and then return my attention to the front of the room. Luckily, before the raven-haired boy next to me can continue a conversation, Professor Slughorn lumbers into the room, closing the door behind him.
“Right, good morning students” he announces cheerfully, “Welcome to your final year of potions. I will admit, this class won’t be easy. We will be learning about and brewing potions that only the most experienced witches and wizards can manage. Luckily, everyone here has passed my past classes with flying colors, so I’m confident you all are capable of success. Now, for today’s lesson, we are going to start learning about a very well-known potion, the polyjuice potion. Can anyone tell me what the purpose of the polyjuice potion is?”
To no surprise, Lily Evans’ hand shoots up, “Sir, the polyjuice potion is used to take on the physical appearance of whomever the maker chooses, as long as they add a piece of the person’s hair to the potion.”
“Very good Miss Evans, ten points to Gryffindor.”
She beams proudly at the praise and so does, I notice, my partner next to me. While some things about Potter seem to have changed, his love for the proud redhead certainly has not. His infatuation with Evans is one thing I have never quite understood. While I admit that Lily is rather lovely and very pretty, I know for a fact that she’s been smitten by Mary MacDonald since 3rd year.
Boys.
Slughorn continues, “It’s important that you all quickly learn the properties of the polyjuice potion because successfully brewing this potion will be your first big assignment for this class. You are expected to meet up with your partner outside of class to brew the potion and also write an essay on the process. It will be due in a month’s time.”
Is Slughorn trying to kill me? Not only do I have to work with Potter in class, now I have to spend time with him outside of it?
“Right, everyone please turn to page 21…”
*****
When the lesson is finished and Slughorn dismisses us, I turn to Potter and tell him that I’d like to meet up soon to get started on our potion.
“Of course,” he agrees, “I can’t tonight because we have a prefect meeting, but will tomorrow work? 6:30?”
“Sure, sounds great.”
“Perfect, I’ll meet you outside the girls bathroom on the third floor.”
I stop in my tracks, “excuse me? Did you just say the girls bathroom?”
He grins widely, “Sure did. Don’t worry, no one goes in there.”
I hesitate, “I know that, cause of Moaning Myrtle. But how do you know that?”
“I think it’s best you don’t know” he answers with a wink, “see ya later.”
Still shocked I whisper out a meager, “Bye.”
This boy is going to be the death of me.
*****
At 6:30 the following day I arrive at the third floor girl’s lavatory. As promised, Potter waits outside, leaning up against the wall. He’s discarded his robes, leaving him in his sweater, the dress shirt beneath hanging untucked, and his slacks. Notably, he’s replaced the usual dress shoes with bright red converse. I walk up to him calmly, hoping to hide the storm of nerves raging within.
“Uh, hey, Potter.”
He pushes up from the wall, “Hey.”
I stare at the door to the bathroom awkwardly, “So…”
He waves his hand, “After you.”
As predicted, the bathroom is entirely empty besides the ghost that never leaves. I pay her little mind, however, only making polite conversation. Once she throws herself back into her toilet I turn back to Potter.
“Right, let’s get started then.”
I set out my cauldron and all of the supplies that we’re going to need.
“Uhm, today, we really just need to get the potion started and then, after that, we’ll just meet up when it's necessary.”
“Great.”
Potter begins to grab different ingredients and put them into the cauldron.
“Wait, what are you doing? You haven’t even looked at the book yet,” I protest.
The boy smirks, “Don’t need to. This isn’t my first time making polyjuice potion.”
“Should I even bother asking?”
“One must never reveal his secrets.” He tells me.
“So I’m assuming the same goes for your familiarity with this bathroom?”
“You catch on quick.”
I blush slightly then turn back to the potion, finding solace in the monotony of schoolwork. Growing up with instability, I’ve come to learn that people are terribly unreliable. But, books, they’ll never hurt me or judge me. I trace my finger down the page, reading the instructions, “Okay, so then we need to-”
“Done.” Potter interrupts. He takes my book from my hands and closes it, “here, just let me do it.”
“But,”
“Seriously, it’s not a big deal Y/n. Whenever I see you around, you're either in the library, or somewhere else with a book in your hand. Take a break for once.”
If I was blushing before, I know my whole face is on fire now, “You’ve actually noticed me around school before?”
He looks at me confused, “Why wouldn’t I? I’ve never actively searched for you in a crowd, I’m not a stalker…”
I giggle.
“But, I’ve gone to school with you for 6 years. Of course I’m going to notice you.”
“Oh,” I say quietly. “I guess I’m just used to people not really seeing me. Not that I mind, I like blending into the background.”
“Doesn’t that get lonely?”
Slightly uncomfortable I joke, “How can one ever get lonely when they have books? And anyways, what right do you have to ask me about loneliness, Mr. Popular?”
He laughs, a deep, low rumble. It’s rather charming. I’m used to hearing the prankster laugh a lot, loudly with his friends. But this one is different, more subtle, more… natural.
“Okay, fair enough. Though I have to tell you, being popular doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely. Sometimes I think…No, never mind.”
“What?” I ask, softly.
“Well, I guess, sometimes, I feel more lonely in a room full of people than why I’m by myself. All of those people, they call me their friend yet, they don’t actually know me. They only like this idea of me. Who they think I am. Maybe, in some cases, they’re right about me. But I also think there’s so much more to me than just my looks, my ability to play quidditch, and the fact that I like to prank people. At least, I hope there is. When people don’t see that, when they don’t take the time to really get to know me, it hurts.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I think that’s why I like to be alone. If I don’t let anyone into my life, they can’t hurt me.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“It’s just, that seems like a sad way to live. I think I would rather love and get hurt than not love at all.”
I scoff slightly, “Look, Potter, I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
He reaches out and touches my arm slightly. I jump back in surprise.
“Hey, you’re right. I’m sorry.” He tells me sincerely.
I soften, “No, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have bit your head off. It’s just, being alone is the only life I’ve ever known. It’s how I’ve survived this long.”
“Well, I don’t know if this is any consolation, but I’ll always be here, if you need it.”
“Potter, we’ve barely known each other a day,” I laugh.
“Yet, in that short amount of time, I feel as if I’ve known you a lifetime.”
I smile at him, “Me too.”
Maybe this project won’t be so bad.