1984, Trust
She woke up feeling sore, not sure where she was. Her back hurt like hell and that's when she realized she's been sleeping against a large tree root, stabbing her back during the night. Her mouth felt dry and her eyes had a tough time adjusting to the sunlight coming through the high branches. It was chilly. She was outside, in the forest. The memories of last night ame back to her and she felt an instant pain in her chest just thinking of her interaction with Dumbledore. She'd hoped it was only a bad dream but it was indeed real.
Around her, the forbidden forest did not appear so scary anymore. It felt peaceful and free. It reminded her of that time she'd met a unicorn here years ago. Agnes sighed. She was exhausted. What time was it? She stood up and walked towards the end of the forest. From what she could tell, it was still early morning.
She soon reached Hagrid's hut which lights were turned on. As she tried to pass around it the most discreetly possible, the massive man stepped out of his house, watering some strange carnivor plants on his doorstep. When he finally noticed her, he smiled right away, not questioning her presence so early in the morning.
- Taking a stroll, are we, professor Lenoir?
- That's right, haha. Good morning Hagrid. She said as she kept walking towards the castle.
She must have looked crazy, still wearing her clothes from the previous day, and coming from the forbidden forest, her eyes pupils looking odd. It is true that here eyes were extremely itchy. Had it something to do with her elemental powers? When she had used them, her veins had turned light blue and everything around her had become so much clearer. All her senses had been increased instantly.
She quickly made it to the castle. No one seemed to have woken up yet. Agnes slowly walked towards the Ravenclaw tower, in direction of her appartment. She was so tired. Mentally and physically. Once she'd reached her room, she reached for her letter kit and started writing to Jeanne. She told her about the events and asked for advice. It is true that she was completely lost. The young witch had discovered she was getting fired, but still had to put on a good smile and teach the kids until the end of June.
Her head hurt. Someone knocked on her door. Before she could even reach the door, an alohomora spell slammed it open and Professor Snape entered the room urgently.
- Where have you been? He said, almost running towards her in a worried look.
- I've been...here. She said, a little shock from his sudden entrance.
- I saw you come out of the headmaster's office looking upset, and you did not respond when I called your name. You were gone the rest of the night. Snape added, looking at every inch of Agnes, trying to see if she was hurt anywhere.
- Severus, I'm okay. She answered in a smile. I just needed to get away for a moment.
He marked a pause and sighed. Slowly, he came closer and his arms came to embrace her tenderly. He caressed her hair gently which calmed her right away. It felt so good to be in his arms.
- I thought you'd... I feared something had happened to you. He whispered, still stroking her hair.
- I'm alright. She simply responded, not wanting to waste any second of the moment.
Snape had to teach his morning class and left first. Agnes, on the other hand, decided to treat herself and take a long shower to cleanse herself of all negative thoughts. It was her last months at Hogwarts? So be it. She'll make people remember her.
The day went by fast as Dumbledore was apparently on an urgent trip and had not been seen at school. Good. She did not want to have to confront him. At the end of the day, she joined Snape who she'd noticed was spending his time in his office, busy with paper grading.
- How's the 4th year doing? She asked, staring at a small jar with strange liquids displayed on the potion professor's shelves. His office was the darkest room she'd enter at school.
- Awful. He said, crossing out a whole line of answer on one of the paper.
- You know they're scared of you. Maybe if you showed a more...likeable side of yourself, they'd show more motivation for potions.
- I don't need to be likeable, they just need to be better.
Here, sitting at his desk, Severus Snape looked lonely. And Agnes felt so far from him. There was still a part of him she had not yet known. Would he ever let her get close enough?
***
May 12th, 1984
It was another rainy day in Scotland. Students were feeling a bit gloomy because of the terrible weather and the exam period coming soon. Agnes was not the happiest about it either. The closer the exam came, the sooner she'd be out of here. And now that she had found a certain...interest in the potion professor, it was hard admitting she'd have to leave. She had not mentionned it yet to him. Dumbledore had been quite silent about the topic and she did not want to be the one to break the news. She could not explain it herself either.
In the news a few papers where talking about some death eaters still out there in the open, trying to gather up their troupes to carry on the ideology of You-Know-Who. Agnes had felt sick reading about it. She had wanted to forget about the war, about the dead, about everything they'd been through. But it had happened. And she could never change that.
Snape was looking through the window of her room. They'd spend a moment together, but the professor had seemed distant.
- What's worrying you ? She asked.
- Nothing.
- Have you read the news? Should we be worried? She added, in her own thoughts.
Snape did not answer, still looking through the window. She noticed he grabbed his arm and was stroking it as if it hurt him.
- Have you ever seen him? Agnes asked, almost biting her lip.
She had promised herself not to mention it. She had forced herself not to. But the past was there in the open and there were questions she had meant to ask Severus Snape.
- Who ? He asked.
- The potters' son.
He tensed. Agnes noticed her partner's eyebrows frowning, his jaw clenched.
- No.
- When was the last time you saw her? She added. Lily.
There, she'd said it. She knew how much Severus had been attached to Lily Potter, but it was hard to admit that he had most likely loved her, and that he had been a douche about it. She had never asked for the details but had always been dying to know. What had happened to make him such a hateful person?
- Would you like to see him? Agnes said, seeing that the man was staying silent.
He looked up to her, his eyes lightened up.
- Have you met him? He asked, a little curious.
- I did. He has his mother's eyes, you know.
He blinked and that's how she knew. It is as if Agnes could feel how much Severus had loved Lily, how much he had cherished her, and how much sorrow he must have felt until now. His eyes were telling her everything. That same evening, they left for London, and apparated as soon as they were out of Hogwarts ground.
It was not until the night they'd reach Privet Drive. Agnes had heard about Lily's sister taking Harry under her wing. Agnes and Snape hid behind a large tree nearby and looked through the window. Mr and Mrs Dursley were enjoying an evening by the tv. Their son, Dudley was sitting there, between them. On the ground, another child was trying to watch the screen while tidying up the toys around the living room.
- Meet Harry Potter. Agnes said, herself a little emotional after seeing how much James and Lily's son had grown.
Not hearing any response she looked up at the potion professor. His eyes were staring at the young boy through the window.
- He's a big boy now. Agnes whispered. He looks like a little James.
At the sound of his name, Snape tensed up.
- Let's go. It's late already. We can't be seen here.
He put an arm behind her back and led her further from the tree they were hiding from. After a second, they were gone.
The way back happened in silence. Agnes felt a bit stupid. It must have been strange for Severus to see the kid of Lily and his worst enemy : James Potter. But she could have sworn she'd seen his eyes full of curiosity when she'd mention Harry.
Although they had not talked about it afterwards, Severus had been touching her more and more once they'd reach her room. They'd made love until the morning, and he'd whispered the most beautiful things in her ears. He had left to go teach his class, giving her a last morning kiss, making a gorgeous bouquet of roses appear on her bed table.
As soon as he disappeared behind the door, Agnes could not help but scream in excitement. Severus bloody Snape.
That same day, she decided to confront Dumbledore about her situation. She needed more explanation but also the terms of her retirement from Hogwarts staff. The Muggle studies professor knocked a few times before entering the headmaster's office. It was empty. There was a strange atmosphere in the office. As if something had been hidden, waiting to be found. Agnes took out her wand.
Revelio
A little flask flew out of a shelves full of translucid liquid. The tiny bottle came resting in Agnes' hands. She knew what that was. A stored memory. Why had it come to her? Why was it reaction to her spell? She looked around. There was no sign of Dumbledore anywhere nearby. She held her breath and called out for the pensieve. At once, a large artefact moved at the center of the room and Agnes stepped closer, opening the flask before emptying it in the shallow bowl. The young witch dived her head in it, and felt herself emerged in a whole new time.
- Severus, you have done terrible, terrible things. You have chosen your path with the dark lord, putting everyone at risks.
- I know. I know! I realized it now but I want to help, I want to save her, save them, please.
Agnes recognized Dumbledore and ... young Snape? He looked so different here, 19 or 20 years old. He looked so scared and desperate while the headmaster appeared tall and serious.
- I cannot allow you to come back, not after what you did.
- I did not know it would end this way. I thought she'd agree to join us, because I was blinded... I was blind, headmaster.
- We lost a previous wizard and member of our troups, because of you. Miss Lenoir have lost a close friend because of your betrayal.
- I knew the dark lord wanted her by his side to use her elemental powers but he assured me he would not hurt her or her friends. I realized too late what was truly happening, and now even the potters are in danger. Please protect them.
Dumbledore marked a pause.
- You have sold a friend to the dark lord by inducing the idea he would find immortality by having the young Agnes by his side. You sold Agnes Lenoir to those barbars, leaving her alone to deal with them, and not be able to save who she loved dearly. Severus Snape, why should I listen to you and your request?
- USE ME! I'll do everything. I'll give you information, I'll stay at Hogwarts to protect the students, I will make the dark lord forget about Lenoir, I will make him look in another direction.
Agnes felt like she was about to drown. Everything around her starting to blur and her body was projected upwards, back in the present. When she came back to her senses, her breathing started to get unsteady and she had to grab her stomach not to throw up. What was that? What has she heard? What had she seen? It was not possible.
The one who had told the dark lord about her elemental powers.... was none other than Severus Snape himself.
He had known about her powers.
Had sold her to the dark lord.
It was because of him.
It was because of him they had been attacked that night in Exeter.
It was because of him Antoine had died.
In an instant, Agnes' heart sank.