The Flow of Our Years

December 29th, 1978

Agnes woke up in the dark. The curtains of the room had been closed to refrain any sunlight to enter. Her whole body ached from head to toe, and she had a terrible headache pulsing in her temples. She tried to rotate on the side to sit, but her back cracked in a painful way and she moaned in agony. 

Slowly, her yes looked around the room, trying to find her way back to reality, to the events which had led her to be lying on this bed, in this small bedroom. She started to retrieve memories from the previous night, and her body began to shiver. The house, the death eaters, Voldemort, Antoine...

Her throat seemed to tense, as if her voice was trapped inside her guts, unable to express the overwhelming feeling in her. After a few second, she could remember everything. An unpleasing fluid moving her her chest into her throat made up jump to ehr feet, forgetting about the pain, and run to the nearest bathroom. Soon enough, she realized she was at the Longbottom's cottage, and found her way to the toilet. She vomitted all she could, as if her organs wanted out to. After having coughed all she had, she sat by the toilet seat and wiped her mouth with some paper. 

She was exhausted. She looked at herself in the little mirror above the sink and saw her pale reflection, looking as dreadful as a ghost. The young witch heard footstep climb up the stairs getting closer to her. 

Alice Longbottom was standing there, looking down at Agnes, a worried look on her face. But instantly changed to a weak smile.

- Let's help you clean up, dear. She said simply, helping Agnes stand up from the ground. 

She let Alice wash her, sometimes helping with removing her clothes and holding tools for cleaning up her wounds. The older woman rubbed some soothing cream on her back, and Agnes felt a refreshing sensation which made her feel better at once. She sighed in relief before putting on some new clothes the order member has brought her. 

- Are you hungry? She asked, using her softest voice.

Agnes nodded negatively. She felt a heavy weight on her shoulder, not allowing her to think of anything but the events of the previous day. The face of Antoine kept flashing in her mind and she had to control her breath to stabilize it. 

Alice helped her get down the stairs. She really was a good person, and Agnes saw in her an older sister. 

When they arrived in the kitchen, a few people were talking together, some were seating at the table, drinking coffee. When she entered to room, every pair of eyes turned to her and the chatting stopped at once. Agnes knew she'd look like shit, but she wished they stopped looking. She hated to see all these worried and pitying her like this. 

Alice invited her to seat and gave her a cup of honey lemon tea to calm her down. The young witch still felt her legs weak and did not argue when taking the first chair that was handed to her. She did not dare look at the people around her, who seemed to keep their eyes on her. But before no one could say anything, a 'crack' sound emerged from the living room. 

She heard footsteps but did not dare turn back, too afraid to face anyone at the moment. 

- Agnes, dear. Did you get some sleep? Said a familiar voice.

She turned so fast her back started hurting again and she had to control her facial expression not to wince in pain. Albus Dumbledore was standing there, wearing darker clothes than usual. He had his usual calm look to him, but his eyes projected something more serious. 

- I will request everybody to step out for a moment. Please. The old wizard said.

And without any opposition, every single person left, leaving Agnes and him alone in the kitchen. He came to sit near her, serving himself a cup of tea. 

- Do you recall your mission yesterday? He started by asking.

- I remember everything, professor. She rushed to say, her eyes locked onto his. 

He marked a silence.

- I am sorry for what happened to you and mr. Deguire. The dark Lord trapped us into thinking we had found their headquarters, when it was just a way to get to you. 

- Where is he? 

Dumbledore stared for a moment, unsure.

- Where is Antoine? Where is his body?! Agnes repeated, starting get impatient.

- He is resting.. We are planning funerals. He admitted, finally looking away from her.

Agnes sighed. She felt a rush of emotions and did not know which to address first. She felt devastated, because of Antoine's death, and enraged because she hadn't been able to save him from Voldemort, and helpless because she wanted to go back in time and change things, save him. And there was also a little spark of relief, knowing her friend would have proper funerals.

The next moment, someone stepped in the room, in a hurry. Agnes looked up and recognized the person she wanted to see the most but dreaded to face, knowing it would result in opening her heart and let everything out. 

Jeanne Delacour was standing there, her hair messy from the wind and her cheeks red from the effort. She had probably hurried here. When the two girls locked eyes, they both rushed to hug each other, in an attempt to comfort one another. Agnes felt her knot in her throat increase until her first cry allowed her to finally explode into tears. Dumbledore stoop up and gave them privacy, joining the rest of the order in the next room. 

- I came as soon as I heard. I'm sorry, I should have been here, I should have helped you. Jeanne started, her eyes filled with thick tears. 

- He's gone, Jeanne. He's gone.. He told me he'd protect me, he promised... But they attacked him with.. with the curse. 

- What happened? Tell me, I want to know. 

It took a long time to explain everything without sobbing. But at last, Agnes had given the details of Antoine's murder, now feeling completely exhausted from having had to recall everything. Dumbledore had stepped in once more, and had retrieved a memory with his wand, allowing Agnes to share it in clear details to the headmaster. 

Pierre had arrived at the same time as Jeanne's but had directly gone to check on Antoine's body, and had contacted Antoine's family back in France. 

He joined them later in the day, looking tired himself, and it looked like he had cried a lot too. 

The three friends stayed a moment in the bedroom where Agnes was staying, preparing the things they would say for his funerals and talking about minor things, like Fleur Delacour who was growin up fast, and Pierre's new wand (he had broken his the previous month while playing Quidditch with his colleagues). It was strange, talking rather normally when Antoine was not there with them. 

But it felt good Agnes knew she wasn't the only one grieving and hurting from his death. She knew this feeling, she had already lost her mother. But losing a friend at such a young age was another type of pain. It was unfair and enraging. But Agnes was feeling too weak and tired to even think of what would be next. 

The marauders arrived in the afternoon, all coming from the own mission from the order. 

Agnes was talking with Alastor Moody, an auror working at the ministry, who she had always found odd, but who was the only one not looking at her with empathetic eyes. She appreciated his way of going straight to the point, and he had said a lot of good things about Antoine.

- He was a good boy, very smart and a great asset for our troups. Gon' miss this one. 

He raised his cup of whatever liquid was in there, and gave a symbolic look in the air before shoving the whole content down his throat. Agnes wanted to cry but managed to calm herself down. She had already cried a lot already, and she hated seeing people try to comfort her like this. She knew it was their good intention, but it made her feel so weak.

James Potter and his wife were talking to Dumbledore, and Peter Pettigrew was eating some snacks in the kitchen. Agnes found him very strange. He was sometimes kind and rather thoughtful, and the next day he looked as if totally absent from the order and its values. Well, it was true she had never truly tried and get to know him. 

Sirius Black was looking at her, followed by Remus who seemed to both want and get a chat with Agnes, but did not want to interrupt Mad-Eye Moody. The young witch smiled at them, and, after exchanging an understanding look, came forward. Moody stood up at the same time, his eye having caught the two young men coming towards him. She thanked him for their conversation, and he blinked in a way which she assumed was a wink, before joining Dumbledore and the Potters near the entrance of the cottage. 

- Feeling alright, Lenoir? Started Sirius, a slight worried look on his face.

- The body will follow, she said in a little smile.

- We're really sorry, about.. tried the Black son.

- He will pay. That dark wizard will pay. Agnes answered at once, an undescribable expression on her face. 

Sirius marked a moment before looking at Remus, who was seating on the young woman's left, and looked back at her. He looked determined.

- Yes, he will. He said simply, before kissing her on the cheek. 

She knew Sirius would understand her, for some reason. He had that passion in him and that thirst for fairness she liked. He was also a loyal friend and always eager to avenge anyone he loved who had been wronged. 

Agnes felt an arm wrapping around her shoulder. Her body naturally melted into the embrace. Remus. His scent had not changed, he still smelled really good. She looked at him, thanking him for his silent support, and he returned a timid smile before tightening his grip slightly to give her strengh. 

She was lucky to have such good friends. But, constantly, she was reminded that Antoine was not there, that he would not ever join them in France during their lazy summers, enjoying the sunlight and the thriving nature. 

***

A few days later, Antoine's parents had made the trip to Britain, with the help of Jeanne and Pierre. Agnes was not allowed to travel yet, because Dumbledore had ordered her to stay and get some rest. But deep down, she knew it was because she would be in danger of getting kidnapped or attacked again by Voldemort. 

All members of the order had made it to the funerals. The little crowd was wearing all black. In the front, Mr and Mrs Deguire were barely standing, trying their best to stay strong and proud. But when the coffin was placed underground, Mrs Deguire started crying loudly, and a few people had to help her not fall on the ground. Dumbledore had stepped up to make a speech, and everyone was listening carefully, some sniffing from crying.

- We honor today the memory of Antoine Deguire, one of our earliest member at the order of the phoenix, and a clever wizard. He was a good man with a sincere heart. His wish to fight for what he thought was right was what made him stronger and we shall remember him as powerful wizard, a trusted comrade, but most of all, a dear friend. 

Mrs Deguire was sobbing uncontrollably, while her husband thanked the headmaster byshaking his hand, biting his lips not restrain from crying. 

Once more, everyone raised their wand to honor the deceased. Agnes looked up in the air. It was starting to rain. She felt the thin drops falling on her face, as she put her wand high in the air. 

She felt her fingers touching the rain, and secretly protected the coffin from it, allowing her friend to rest warmly in his death bed. 

Goodbye Antoine. 

***

January 10th, 1979

Agnes was now staying at the Longbottoms. They had been kind enough to let her use the guest bedroom and she helped them with the house chores. She had to admit she liked living with them. They were good people, always eager to help others and were certainly the most committed to the order, making their own home the headquarters for their meetings. 

Jeanne and Pierre had stayed for a bit, and had finally departed to France the previous day. They had spent their days talking about Antoine, and the good memories they shared. Pierre had stayed a little quieter. Agnes knew he shared a special bond with Antoine, the same as the one Agnes and Jeanne had. 

He was deeply impacted by his loss, and they had decided to not force him to talk about it. They had attended one more meeting with the order, and had been able to locate some of the death eaters that had attacked Agnes. She had also admitted having seen Barty Crouch Jr, which surprised more than one, almost putting in doubt her words. 

Thankfully, Dumbledore had trusted her and then, so had everyone.

The marauders were back on the road, and had been assigned various missions. It seemed that everything was now getting faster and time was missing. 

The Hogwarts headmaster had visited the cottage later that afternoon, shortly after Alice had helped Agnes clean up the tea time table.

- What do you mean , I have to stay hidden? Agnes almost shouted in the living room.

- The dark lord knows about your power, doesn't he? That is why he has attacked you that day in Exeter. He wants you to join his troups and unite with him soyou can share your power of immortality with him. He wants to live forever, Agnes. And if you happen to go back to your old life, he will capture you at once, and no one knows if he'll ever be stoppable. 

- But HOW does he know? I don't understand. I was careful, professor, I promise. 

- I am sure you were. And I believe it is not important to know who might have told Voldemort yet. For now, you must be careful and stay with the Longbottoms, they are in charge of your protection. Once we know more about the death eaters' whereabouts, we might determine a plan to let you join a few missions with the other members. I will however need your help to contact a few people for me, I will make you deliver mail through muggle post so it does not get intercepted. 

Agnes nodded, although still annoyed she'd have to stay hidden for god knew how long. And a little voice in her head kept trying to figure out who had told the dark lord about her elemental powers. He was certainly not a sort of psychic with a third eye for sure. He was too evil for that. It was so frustrating not understanding why and how it had happened. 

***

February, 26th, 1979

Sirius Black had bursted into the cottage, looking pissed and drenched from the rain pouring outside. 

- What's happened Sirius? Asked Frank, alarmed. 

James Potter was just behind him, and stepped up before his friend.

- We saw Regulus. He was delivering a parcel in Knockturn Alley. 

That name sounded familiar to Agnes. Regulus Black was Sirius' younger brother, but she had never talked to him when she was still at Hogwarts. According to Sirius, he was the perfect example of the Slytherin boy Mrs Black would have wanted him to be.

- He's with them, I'm sure. I might have left home, but I saw his mark. I saw his tattoo on his arm. He's with them! I'm telling you, he is a death eater! 

Sirius looked as if about to break something. 

- He was with Bellatrix Lestrange, James continued. She did not see us, but I heard them talk about a special object they were getting to Gringotts. 

- The fool.. He's such a fool! Added Sirius, holding his head in his hands, seemingly tired and angry. 

Agnes gave them each something to drink before letting Frank continue to get the remaining information they had from their mission. 

Alice sighed, alarming Agnes who had never seen her any sign of weakness. 

- This war is getting closer to us day by day. She admitted.

- Do you think we're in a war? Asked the young witch, resting her arms on the kitchen counter. 

- We have been for a little while already, Agnes.