Deceiving Magic's Child

No one said anything, choosing to let the book continue instead.

Harry didn't have a very clear idea... his head was still pounding with the conversation he had just heard.

Everyone seemed to be on tenterhooks, nervous to say anything in case they upset Harry further. Harry wasn't looking at anyone, staring into the fire, wishing he could be anywhere else.

Why had nobody ever told him?... their best friend had betrayed them?

Sirius tightened his grip on Harry. This wasn't fair. Harry should never have been made to feel this way. He should have had a trial, even if just to protect Harry from this pain.

Ron and Hermione watched Harry... in a fit of end-of-term high spirits.

Mrs Weasley tutted but didn't say anything, eyeing Harry nervously.

Harry, who didn't want Fred and George... Harry had never given him a thought before.

Harry snorted. The answer had been sitting there the whole time. Sure, he didn't look much like himself after spending so long in Azkaban, but why hadn't he ever asked about his parents' friends?

If he hadn't known it was the same person... make him unrecognizable?

Sirius frowned. The world had seemed full of possibilities then. He'd fancied himself in love with Marlene. Of course, he'd known even then that he was bi-sexual but he'd genuinely imagined a future with her. Possibly even children. And then she'd died and he'd given up on that future. He'd already blood adopted Harry, they thought that would guarantee Harry's safety no matter what the outcome of the war had been. Little had they known.

But the Dementors don't affect him... if they get too close -

"They affect me," Sirius muttered. "It's just easier to ignore as a dog. Everything is simpler that way. Thoughts and feelings are less complicated. Less deep."

Harry nodded, glancing up at his godfather. "You'll probably not like what you hear in this chapter," he said quietly.

"I'll understand," Sirius said. "You didn't know I was innocent."

Harry didn't say anything. He couldn't. He curled into Sirius's side instead. He didn't want to tell Sirius he'd once hoped that he'd receive the Dementor's Kiss.

Harry slammed the album shut... his eyes wide open.

"A little time alone to process, probably isn't a bad thing," Galenius said gently. "That must have been a terrible shock."

Harry kept quiet. He didn't think he'd stop talking if he started now. There was so much he'd like to say. So much he'd like to complain about.

A hatred such as he had never known before... whenever the Dementors drew near. . . .

Harry didn't bother looking at anyone. He knew what he'd see. Plenty of pity and not much else.

"Harry, you - you look terrible. "

"Helpful," Sirius barked.

Harry huffed a quiet laugh. He hadn't appreciated being told he looked awful either.

Harry hadn't gotten to sleep until daybreak... who had spread her homework over three tables.

The teachers rolled their eyes. Who needed three tables to do their homework?

"Where is everyone?"... I was going to come and wake you up in a minute. "

"I hated the way you both seemed to be waiting for me to blow up at you," Harry muttered. "Kind of how you're all behaving now."

Harry slumped into a chair next to the fire... peering anxiously into his face.

"A sleepless night will do that to you," Sirius snarked.

"I'm fine,"... you mustn't go doing anything stupid. "

"Not the time," Remus said with a sigh. Really did these children have no tact at all?

"Like what?"... He didn't say anything.

"Why would you even think he'd do that?" Sirius said crossly. "He's not stupid. He was hurting and he was angry but still, not stupid."

"Harry went after Voldemort in first year," Hermione defended.

"Because he didn't feel like he had a choice," Sirius argued. "That was very different."

"You won't, will you, Harry?"... not worth dying for," said Ron.

"That's true enough," Sirius said with a pat to Harry's shoulder.

Harry wasn't sure he agreed.

Harry looked at them. They didn't seem to understand at all.

"No. They didn't," Claudius said. "How could they? Neither of them has lost a parent. Neither of them know what it is to grow up alone and unloved. They can't possibly understand. You must have felt so alone. And they weren't even letting you talk about. Scream about it. Rage against how unfair it was. I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry looked up at the mind healer. That's right. That's what he'd needed that morning. He'd needed to be allowed to feel his feelings.

"It's important that people are allowed to feel their way through things," Claudius said. "Otherwise it festers. While I'm sure you both thought you were helping. You were actually making the situation significantly harder for Harry to deal with. You were making it impossible for him to share his feelings with you. Because he knew exactly what you thought already. All he needed was for you both to listen. No judgement. No calling the things he might - hyper-theoretically - do stupid. Just listen."

"D'you know what I see... sent Voldemort after her -"

Claudius and Galenius nodded in understanding. Harry was relieved to see no pity there.

"There's nothing you can do!"... and serve him right!"

Claudius frowned. "This is why an adult needed to inform Harry. These children were not equipped to deal with the emotional ramifications of the situation."

Ron and Hermione both looked momentarily offended. They'd done their best. Sure, at thirteen it hadn't been great. But they'd tried.

"You heard what Fudge said... to kill Black or something?"

"You do realise you put those words in my mouth," Harry said bitterly. "I never said anything about going after him. You did. I never said I wanted to kill him. You did."

Hermione and Ron both frowned. They hadn't meant to do that.

"Don't be silly,"... was almost more than he could stand.

"Which is a perfectly reasonable way to feel under the circumstances," Galenius said softly.

"Malfoy knows,"... I'd want revenge. '"

Claudius nodded. He couldn't do anything about Black so of course, he jumped onto the nearest person to hate.

"You're going to take Malfoy's advice instead of ours?" said Ron furiously.

"Why are you getting angry with him?" Sirius demanded. "He never said he'd go after me. He's hardly said anything at all."

"They were children!" Mrs Weasley said. "They hardly knew what to do."

"WHICH IS WHY AN ADULT SHOULD HAVE DAMN WELL TOLD HIM!" Sirius bellowed.

Arthur frowned at Sirius. While he agreed with the other man, he didn't appreciate him shouting at his wife. "This isn't helping," he said gently. "We clearly all messed up. But we did the best we could."

"We just wanted to protect Harry," Mrs Weasley said. "Everyone thought it was better he not know."

"That wasn't your decision to make," Harry said. "The Dursleys thought it was better I not know that I was a wizard. Sometimes it feels like you're all just the same. They kept secrets from me, locked me up..."

"I've never locked you up, Harry," Molly said, feeling shaken.

"Summer before fifth year," Harry said. "You and the bloody order literally guarded my house."

"To keep you safe," Molly argued.

"You locked me in a house with people you knew hated me," Harry pointed out. "I don't see the difference."

"That wasn't mum's decision, mate," Ron said.

"Not the point, Ron!" Harry seethed.

"The point, Heir Potter, is trying to make is that the adults in his life have let him down repeatedly and sometimes their mistakes and poor choices don't look altogether different from the abuse he suffered at the hands of his relatives." Claudius paused. "That is how Harry feels. And whether you agree or not, he's entitled to feel that way."

"Listen... Harry, and he's dangerous -"

"How is that supposed to help?" Remus sighed. Why hadn't his older self said something? He could have prevented this.

"Malfoy's dad must have told him,"... Voldemort's inner circle -"

Lucius glared at his son. "I knew Black wasn't guilty. But I couldn't have helped him, not without exposing myself and my family."

Narcissa gave an apologetic look towards Sirius and Harry. "We discussed it. Draco must have heard."

"Say You-Know-Who, will you?" interjected Ron angrily.

Sirius glared thunderously at Ron. What did that boy have to be angry about? Being scared of a name, was nothing compared to how Harry felt at that moment. Some friend.

"- so obviously, the Malfoys knew... he has to play you at Quidditch. "

"Really not helpful," Remus sighed.

"I was a kid," Ron defended. "What was I supposed to say."

"NOTHING!" Sirius shouted. "You were supposed to listen. Let Harry say whatever he damn well pleased for an hour or so. Even if it was irrational. Even if it seemed foolish. Even if you prayed he'd never act upon it. All you had to do was listen."

"Harry, please,"... They'd never want you to go looking for Black!"

"Low blow," Remus said. "Manipulating him with his parents."

Harry almost laughed. Remus had done the exact same thing later that same year.

"I'll never know... I've never spoken to them," said Harry shortly.

"Isn't it interesting that you two are getting angry and distressed," Claudius said, "and Harry is relatively calm. He's not the one shouting or losing his temper. That should tell you everything. He's hurting. He's not about to go off and try and search for Black. He was more likely to rant for a bit or even cry. In fact, that's what he needed to do."

"But you're allowing your own feelings on the issue to prevent you helping your friend," Galenius said. "It's immaturity and that can't be helped. But if you weren't capable of helping Harry then, you should have sought the help of an adult."

There was a silence ... We haven't visited him for ages!"

"Good idea," Galenius said. "As an adult, he can provide the support Harry needs. And Harry can get some closure about the fact everyone is keeping secrets from him."

"His trust has been broken," Claudius said with a nod, "especially by Hagrid. He was one of the ones mentioned earlier... Dumbledore, Hagrid, Mr Weasley, Minister Fudge. Those are the people he feels let him down. So confronting Hagrid is a good idea."

"How would confronting Hagrid help?" Hermione asked.

"Not all confrontation is negative. Sometimes it can be healing too. Especially when you are too young to process what you're feeling alone. Especially with an adult like Mr Hagrid who will forgive Harry for anything he might say in anger."

"No!"... leave the castle, Ron -"

"Not the right thing to say," Sirius sighed. Merlin, his pup must have felt so trapped.

"Yeah, let's go,"... wasn't what Ron had had in mind.

"He isn't going to just let it go," Galenius said. "He's experienced a significant emotional upheaval and has every right to take the time needed to process it."

"Or we could have a game of chess,"... shivering under her cloak.

"I was relieved. I didn't want Harry getting upset with Hagrid," Hermione said.

"Why shouldn't he?" Galenius said. "He trusted Hagrid. Hagrid told him about being a wizard, told him how his parents died... but he kept this big secret from him. He has valid reason to be angry and even if it wasn't valid, it was still how he felt. You can't control other people's feelings."

"I wasn't trying to control his feelings," Hermione argued.

"Just how he expressed them then?" Galenius asked calmly. The younger Everleigh brothers were nodding in agreement.

Hermione grimaced. That didn't sound any better.

"We have very limited control over other people," Galenius said softly. "We only really have control over how we react to things. And even then, we often get it wrong. There are going to be times when you get it wrong and times when your friends do to. It's part of being human."

Ron had his ear to the door... throbbing moans.

"Were you hurt, Rubeus?" Minerva asked.

Hagrid shook his head. There were large tears in his eyes.

"Think we'd better go and get someone?"... dripped down into his tangled beard.

"What's happened?" Tonks asked.

"Hagrid, what is it?"... There followed a list of the school governors.

Everyone glared at Draco.

"Oh," said Ron... I bet he'll get off. "

Young Amos frowned. "That's unlikely. It only takes one attack - especially on a minor - unless you can prove hippogriff baiting. Which is next to impossible to do."

"Yeh don' know them gargoyles... "They've got it in fer interestin' creatures!"

Neither Amos looked pleased with being called a gargoyle.

A sudden sound from the corner... "All on his own! At Christmas. "

Several people looked surprised at this. Hagrid was treating an XXX beast like an overgrown dog.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another... he was positively cute.

Several people laughed at that.

"You'll have to put up a good strong defense... Ad if I lose the case, Buckbeak -"

Amos huffed at that. He didn't like hearing people talk about his department like that.

Hagrid drew his finger swiftly... an' Sirius Black lurkin' around. "

"I would still want to help, Hagrid," Dumbledore said.

Ron and Hermione looked quickly at Harry... so miserable and scared.

"You really underestimate Harry," Sirius said crossly.

"Listen, Hagrid,"... see exactly what happened. "

Amos nodded his head. That was a good idea.

Hagrid howled still more loudly... shall I make a cup of tea?" said Ron.

Mr Weasley laughed. That was one hundred percent Molly.

Harry stared at him... whenever someone's upset," Ron muttered, shrugging.

"It usually helps," Mrs Weasley said. "Shame you didn't remember that when trying to talk to Harry."

At last, after many more assurances of help... an' no one likin' me classes -"

The students all glared at Draco again.

"We do like them!" lied Hermione at once.

Hagrid laughed. He'd known she was lying. She wasn't very good at it.

"Yeah, they're great!"... "Too much lettuce. "

More laughter from Hagrid.

"Oh no!"... 'S like bein' back in Azkaban -"

Amelia frowned. Hagrid should never have been put in Azkaban in the first place.

He fell silent... Mind, the Dementors weren't keen on lettin' me go. "

"No, they wouldn't be," Sirius said bitterly.

"But you were innocent!" said Hermione.

Sirius laughed. He shouldn't really but it was funny how naive and innocent these kids were.

Hagrid snorted... who's guilty an' who's not. "

"It really does shock me that you use creatures like that as guards," Mr Granger said. "There must be a better option."

"Magic suppressing cuffs," Kingsley said. "Stronger wards. There are plenty of options but the ministry won't go for it. They'd have to pay wixen guards. It's all about money."

Hagrid went quiet for a moment... "I don' ever want ter go back ter Azkaban. "

"That would be a very bad idea," Amos said shortly.