Regulus black, the heir of the Black Family, wasn’t a very talkative person, at the opposite of James. Certainly because expressing his feelings was never natural for him growing up, even with his brother Sirius. He always preferred the silence, and found a disturbing comfort in quiet pain and sorrow. He wishes he could give up on every feelings he could ever feel, and just live empty like he should and was raised to, a black hole, a storm meant to kill every ounce of happiness ever offered to him. Because Regulus felt like he deserved none of it. No kindness, pity, love, affection. And certainly not a pretty golden retriever boy like James Potter.
And James hated that. James knew how self destructive Regulus tend to be, and it almost scared him sometimes how the other boy talked about himself. And how many nights he had to hold Regulus as he told him and listed all the reasons why he should be gone. James felt like he couldn’t bear to hear his words sometimes. Born from pure hatred towards himself, Regulus sometimes didn’t realise how heavy his words tended to be. But James heard every and each one of them, way too often. And yet, though he did understand why he thought this way, he couldn’t understand how his lover couldn’t hear James when he repeated how beautiful, how kind, how gentle..awesome, sweet, lovely, divine Regulus was. To him Regulus was more than perfect and the boy couldn’t see an inch of this beauty inside himself.
And then there was this silence that the Slytherin gave him sometimes. A heavy silence filled with sharp pain and heart wrenching feelings. James never knew what to do in front of that wall that Regulus built up sometimes. He did everything he could to reassure him, but until now, every night like these were filled with only a few words by the Slytherin. James always opted for communication. Not that he hated to cuddle until the feelings left, no, he would do everything to keep Regulus close to him, as the Gryffindor was himself a very affectionate person and had many many hugs to give away for free. Well, only to Regulus. But it sometimes left him with a tense feeling that things were still deeply wrong, when silence floated over them all night just to wake up in a — by Regulus’ words — “good mood”. If ignoring the problem was solving it then James was doing something wrong since forever. But again he could only hope that it was the way to go with Regulus, to respect his silence and pray that he was actually fine.
And now it was just getting..too silent.
“You’ll be okay”he finally murmured to his boyfriend’s ear, his arms around his waist as they sat on Regulus’ bed.
“..I know.”The younger one quietly replied after a moment of hesitation, leaving James to a nervous silence again.
It happened quite often that James couldn’t find what to say to Regulus, even without his preferences to communication, he was always better at conversations. And sometimes, Regulus didn’t find the words.
James looks at Regulus with a fond yet worried gaze. Still snuggled in his arms, Regulus looked vulnerable, way more than he could ever be while out with his friends, and it always tugged at the Gryffindor’s heart. Regulus stays still, his hands clenched onto James’ sweater. His dark curls fell back in front of his eyes and James couldn’t help pushing a few strands back behind his ear.
“You’re safe here.” James whispers as he puts his chin on top of Regulus’ head.
“I know” the boy repeats, his voice soft like he was trying to hide the emotion in it, but his lover knew him better than that.
James sighs and kiss the top of his head, he couldn’t guess what Regulus needed or wanted him to do. Silence falls again, the clock’s ticking seems louder than usual. James tightens his grip slightly and readjusts his position. He pulls the blanket over Regulus’ shoulders gently and Regulus nuzzle into his shoulder.
“It’s late Regulus, do you want to get sleep ?”James asks.
“No..is it okay ?”Regulus looks up with tired eyes, it almost made James wanted to sigh, Regulus obviously needed the rest, but who was he to say no.
“Yeah that’s okay”
Two in the morning finally hits the clock, he’s been here for four hours at least. He was only supposed to give Regulus some homeworks the boy had missed but ended up staying over. James had been trying to offer communication for a while now, he hoped that it still showed Regulus that he cared.
And the Slytherin knew that James was doing his best, it is all he wanted. He felt comfortable in James’ embrace, with his scent and warmth surrounding him into a cocoon of affection that he didn't know if he deserved. Regulus didn’t know when he started feeling so comfortable around the Gryffindor. For a while when they met, being in the same room as him was unbearable, like at any moment James could show an awful side of him and hurt him. And also that subtle..no, that gut-wrenching, awfully loud and devastating rage that could’ve exploded at a random point, making him completely unable to talk to the other boy.
And then a certain calm started flowing in whenever James walked in the room. Then a warmth, and then a pure comfort, love. And once he found it, he started seeing it..everywhere. In James’ voice, his smile, his laugh, his gentle touch and caring reminders.
And in the dark nights like this one.
“It’s snowing”James mumbles as he looks out the window, the blinds forgotten and left open for a few days now (not everyone has the motivation to remember that and close them).
Regulus looked up, it was winter but snow was slow to arrive, so it was a slight surprise. The small lamps outside gave a shiny reflection to the snowflakes falling down to the ground.
“It’ll melt.”Regulus replies.
“Maybe, but for now it’s pretty”James smiles softly.
“But it’ll be gone in a few days-”He gets cuts off by the other boy
“Then maybe we should go see it from up close ?”James mutters.
It was quite the stupid suggestion. It was late and no one would want to go out in the cold winter, at two in the morning, to go see the first snow of the year. And James just wanted to make conversation, hoping that his usual stupidity would light up Regulus’ face with at least a small smile, which he didn’t have the chance to see so far. And James was not a big fan of the cold. Even if he loved the snow, and snowball fights with Sirius was almost a tradition, the cold wind and sickness that came with it was definitely low on things he liked. Unlike his boyfriend.
“Sure”Regulus mumbles, making James raise an eyebrow.
“If you have your scarf and all.”He adds quietly.
It’s then that James decides to just go with it.
“I don’t..but we could swing by my dorm first..?”James suggests carefully.
“Hm.”Regulus nods and slowly moves away from James, standing up from the bed.
James watches as Regulus search for his coat and scarf silently. He was surprised but glad to see Regulus move and talk again, as he was still as a statue for at least two hours. Regulus glances back at the Gryffindor with a raised eyebrow, wondering why he was just quietly watching him.
“You’re a creep”He mumbles suddenly.
“Okay..”James sighs and finally stands up, walking up to Regulus.
“I’ll go get my stuff, wait for me in the courtyard yeah ?”The tallest asks, walking past Regulus to the door, not without leaving a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s temple.
Regulus nods as the door opens, and soon enough he is alone again. He sighs and check the mirror as he puts his scarf in place, covering up his nose slightly. He buttons up his coat and grabs gloves on his desk before exiting his room as quietly as possible. His thoughts were less messy than earlier, he could thanks the distraction of the snow for that. Regulus liked the snow, especially the cold. Even if the breeze was sometimes annoying, he quite liked watching the snow falls, and the condensation that came with the low temperatures was amusing in a way. It reminded him of the rare moments with Sirius when they were kids, pretending to be smoking as they blew air in the winter, near their newly made snowman.
Regulus sighs and shakes his head, putting his hands in his pockets in slight discomfort as he finally walks out of the castle to the courtyard. He looks up, snowflakes falling around him, the ones on his coat quickly melted, same with the ones that he tried to catch in the palm of his hand. Soon enough, after only two or three minutes, he hears footsteps behind him and two gentle hands coming on his waist above his coat, startling him slightly. He glares back at James standing behind him with a proud grin.
“Was that necessary ? You could’ve just called my name.”
“Yeah, no”James chuckled, causing Regulus to roll his eyes dramatically.
James glances up at the sky and Regulus imitates him. There was already enough snow for a few snowballs, but not nearly enough for a snowman. Regulus thought it might just melt and freeze soon enough, and that tomorrow would not be beautiful but only frustratingly slippery. James kneel down and take some snow in his hand like a ceremony.
“Here, the first snow of the season. Regulus Black, can i do the honor ?”He asks solemnly with a serious expression.
Regulus frowns.
“Yes ? What are you going to do though ?”He replies, before a cold sensation hits his shoulder, and he feels some of the snow runs in his clothes through his neck opening. He hisses and folds slightly as James laughs loudly.
“You prick ! That’s no honor, that’s treason against me !”Regulus exclaims.
“Is it ? But you’ve just been blessed with the first snow”
James looks at him with amusement shining in his eyes. And Regulus could’ve melted under his gaze, but instead the only thing that melted was the snow in James’ back a second later, as the Gryffindor contained a shout about how cold it was. Regulus proudly looks at his boyfriend as he tries to evacuate the snow from inside his sweater, jumping around frantically. The Slytherin couldn’t stop a quiet laugh, it was still dark out and the jumping silhouette of James was quite hilarious added to his lack of sleep tonight. James’s gaze falls onto Regulus when he hears him laugh. Regulus’ eyes closed ever so slightly, his shoulders moving in rythm with his laugh. The melted snow gave a shiny reflection to the boy’s jet black hair, and James smiles slightly. Regulus was laughing, after four hours or so of worry, he knew his job was done. James starts laughing too, Regulus’ laughter was definitely contagious.
He walks closer to Regulus as he sighs, smiling.
“It’s funny is it ? You want me to become an ice statue ?”He grins, and Regulus nods.
“I only returned the favour.”He says cheekily.
“I was doing a honorific ceremony !”James explains with an overly shocked expression.
“How dare you call that honorific ?”Regulus questions with a light hearted voice.
“How dare you say it’s not ?”James tilts his head in fake innocence and confusion.
Regulus looks up to James’ brown eyes, a small wave of warmth washing over him as James pushes Regulus’ hair back, getting some of the snow off his hair at the same time.
“You’re shining tonight, should I thank the snow or your smile ?”James winks, making Regulus sigh loudly.
“What ? It was a good one !”The Gryffindor defends himself as the other boy shakes his head, exasperated.
“Every time you try, every time, you fail.”He says with a small smile of pity.
“Wash that smile off, i’m a winner”He lifts his chin up proudly at Regulus’ deadpan expression.
Regulus laughs quietly, and as always, it brings a smile to James’ face. James gently lifts Regulus' chin up, getting the boy’s attention.
“In the end I managed to make you smile tonight”he comments softly, Regulus looks away with a small smile.
“I guess yes,”He mumbles.
“Hm, you guess, yeah.”He repeats Regulus’ words quietly, smiling from ear to ear as his hand drops to Regulus’ waist gently.
He definitely found the prettiest boyfriend.
“Don’t imitate me, James”Regulus frowns.
“I wouldn’t dare-”
“We both know you would”
James laughs, Regulus knew him well. Regulus was quite observant, and he always noticed every little habit that James had. Even the ones that James never thought about.
The Slytherin looks up at James. James always had a certain charm, he had a great smile, soft brown curls that James particularly paid attention to brush a certain way, and that Regulus always messed up by passing his fingers through them. James would always whine about it but let him do it, because he was completely and utterly in love. Yes, that’s the kind of thing love does to people. Most of all, the Gryffindor was kind, considerate. Might he say, too considerate. If James wanted to do something, maybe, perhaps, Regulus could come along, if tempted by the offer, if possibility and disponibility… Sometimes it got near absurd with how careful the tallest was with him.
But it was cute, Regulus learnt to just live with it. He wasn’t really used to having someone be so caring towards him. Mostly, he wondered who cared about the youngest, not even first in line, not really the best Heir, Black son. Surely his brother did before he left, and abandoned him. But Regulus wasn’t sure. Because he felt Sirius drifting away ever since he got sorted into Gryffindor.
“Regulus ?”James called out as he saw Regulus deep in thoughts, capturing the boy’s attention.
“Sorry.” he mumbles, met with a shake of the head from James.
“Don’t apologize, it’s okay. ”James says.
It was getting cold, Regulus’ fingers freezing even under his gloves now, not that he minded. He looked up, only him was covered by a small structure looking like an opened corridor, but James was still under the snow, slowly covering him.
“You’re too nice to me”Regulus mumbles.
James frowns and his free hand lifts up the boy’s chin.
“You deserve everything, I'm just doing the bare minimum.”He replies quietly.
Regulus looks away.
That kind of words was what got Regulus to melt in a second. And also that gaze, that stupid gaze. James was looking at him with adoration, patient and loving, like Regulus was all he ever knew and loved. It annoyed him, well, the way his heart fluttered annoyed him, and the slight warmth on his cheeks too.
“I should’ve thrown two snowballs at you.”He replies.
James giggles.
“Sure”he replies, and when Regulus finally looked back at James, the Gryffindor gently placed a kiss on his lips.
Regulus didn’t have time to even take it in that James was moving away.
“What was that for ?”Regulus asks.
“Taking my reward for dealing with the cold breeze in my back for the past ten minutes.”the boy grins.
“And I don't get a reward ?”Regulus raises his eyebrows, his voice having a hint of sass.
“For what, making me work for four hours ?”James chuckles.
Regulus rolls his eyes and pulls onto James’ scarf, making him lean down and pressing his lips on his again. James melted into the kiss, his hand coming to Regulus’ cheek gently. He felt a warmth spreading in his chest, a calm that he only knew when he was here, with his lover. And Regulus felt the same, a peace he wasn’t used to just yet, he was still getting to know it, and accept it. Even if often he found himself wanting to push it away and bury himself into silence again, everytime James was around, he couldn’t help but stay, and let the sunshine melt the ice around him.
“I love you”James whispers softly when he pulled away.
Regulus sighs slightly and looked away, now embarrassed.
“Let’s go inside, you’re covered in snow.”he mumbles and moves away from James.
James whines dramatically, getting a smile from his boyfriend. Regulus walks back in, a hand in his pocket, and the other being grabbed by the tallest a second later.
“I start at eight tomorrow.”James comments
“I’ll kill you.”