When Evan and Pandora Rosier were children, everyone called them the Twins of Chaos. They could be found standing at the end of a hallway like the creepy twins from The Shining , glancing at each other with mischievous smirks. Pandora was the mastermind behind a lot of their schemes, which often included potion explosions. Meanwhile, Evan was the silent executioner with steady hands who would sneak Pandora’s inventions into place and retreat back to watch their chaos ensue.
They grew up and their projects of chaos dwindled as their parents started expecting more and more of Evan, the heir of House Rosier. Despite the slow diminishment of their spirited fun and the sorting hat separating them into Slytherin and Ravenclaw, the pair remained the closest friends and confidantes. Evan quickly befriended Regulus Black in Slytherin, and not just because his dad wanted him to. Pandora struggled more making friends, but somehow caught the acquaintanceship of one Barty Crouch Jr. who decided that he was the girl’s defender from bullies. The four quickly began spending all their time together and added one more in third year in the form of Dorcas Meadowes, a Slytherin one year older than the rest.
One of the things the whole group had in common was the heavy burden each of their parents placed on them to uphold their family values of pride and success. This very burden is what drove them all to figure out how to continue causing chaos without being caught, because, if they were caught, they would face the wrath of their parents. Due to their necessity for discretion, the group wasn’t well known for their pranks like the notorious Marauders and the girl Gryffindors they were always hanging out with.
In fifth year, Dorcas started dating Marlene and Regulus started dating James, which led to some spectacular failures at joint prank projects. There were the dung bombs that were supposed to go off on a timer in the Hufflepuff section of the Quidditch stands during the big Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff game — Sirius claims there was a miscommunication because it was “too big of a group” to plan a prank with and Evan has held it against him ever since. Then there was the plan to infiltrate the kitchens and replace dinner with dessert for a week. The group got caught by the kitchen elves, but before James could talk them out of reporting them the caretaker, Mr. Pringle had shown up. Luckily most of the group got out of it, leaving James, Barty, and Marlene to take the blame.
About a month into year six, Pandora started dating Lily and only she could convince Lily to take part in the group prank planning. It wasn’t that Lily was opposed to a little mischief, she just was uninterested in getting caught and preferred to be in complete control if she’s going to cause some trouble. Pandora helped ease Lily’s anxiety and get her to let loose though.
“So,” James said, taking on the leadership role as always, “we sneak down to the Black Lake every night with a bucket of clam chowder from the kitchens to lure the giant squid to the surface and train him to do tricks.” He paced across their new planning room that Pandora had discovered in the Room of Requirement. There were couches, tables and chairs, even lesson boards that looked like they were all left over from different time periods of Hogwarts furniture.
“Then at the end of the year when Gryffindor wins the house cup, we’ll have him perform for the whole student body!” Sirius followed up, bouncing up and down on his toes.
“A giant squid performance will make much more sense when Slytherin wins the house cup,” Dorcas said, challenging Sirius.
Pandora was smiling, feeling undeniably fond watching her friends bickering and her girlfriend rolling her eyes beside her.
“No, no, no,” Barty said, mindlessly twirling his wand. He was sitting sideways in a loveseat with his legs dangling over the armrest. “When Ravenclaw wins the house cup it won’t matter because it won’t work.”
“It won’t work,” Lily said at the same time as Barty.
Everyone paused to look in between the two. Lily and Barty stared at each other quizzically, sizing each other up. Pandora and Evan’s eyes met and sparks of silent communication passed between them.
Barty and Evan had quickly become best friends in their first year after Barty got in trouble for hexing a second year who had been making fun of Pandora’s shyness. Similar to James and Sirius’ reputation, one never saw either Barty or Evan without the other. The pair weren’t nearly as loud as the Gryffindors, although Regulus, Pandora, and Dorcas were witnesses to how their volume could rise when they were comfortably behind closed doors.
In a moment of doom impending dread Evan realized in third year that he had feelings for Barty. He dragged Pandora out to the greenhouse, where they often met and hid out underneath the tallest wiggentree they could find, and sniffled his way through his admission. His sister held his hand tight and gave her approval, but that just made Evan cry harder because he was certain Barty would never return the feelings. Pandora wasn’t so sure, but she kept it mostly to herself until Regulus and Dorcas brought it up to her in their fourth year. Since then it’s been a well known secret that Evan has feelings for Barty and a common suspicion that Barty has feelings for Evan. The only issue is that Baty is deep in denial and Evan refuses to be the first to make a move, having gotten passively comfortable in ignoring the situation.
“I mean, they’re right, love,” Regulus admitted, looking up at his boyfriend from where he sat on the floor.
Remus and Peter snickered from their chairs at James’ look of offense.
“Ok, let’s push long term prank planning to the side then and focus on what we are going to do during the Christmas break,” Marlene said resolutely. Somehow they had all convinced their parents to let them stay at Hogwarts over the holidays. Many of them were excited just to get away from their families, but they were all looking forward to spending the break with each other as they were growing closer every week.
“Well that’s going to have to be a discussion for another day because we have transfiguration class,” Mary motioned to herself, Marlene, Lily, and Remus. Marlene groaned in complaint as Lily and Remus stood up to gather their things for class.
“Ok,” James clapped, not being able to help his quidditch captain instincts, “great idea, Marlene! Let’s all try to brainstorm something for Christmas break before we meet up again next weekend! Alright?”
A series of nods and grunts of affirmation followed as the group filed out of the Room of Requirement and headed for class.
It was a couple days before the end of term when Lily and Barty ran into each other in the library. Out of the entire hodge podge group of friends that had formed, Lily and Barty were probably the two people thought most unlikely to hang out one on one. Lily was known by her classmates and acquaintances as an uptight, but kind, class pet, while Barty was known as a reckless, brash, class clown. The only thing that connected the two before this friend group was that they are both the top of their class, but with Barty being a year younger than Lily that had never led to their paths crossing until then.
“ Oohmf, ” Barty grunted.
“Oops,” Lily said, as the two bumped into each other reaching for a book. They had both been so wrapped up in their search that they hadn’t even realized there was someone else in the aisle.
“Evans,” Barty nodded at the redhead.
“Junior,” Lily nodded back.
Barty shot a glare at that. He had always detested the way the addition of Jr. would perpetually connect him to his father, the inescapable Senior.
“Sorry,” Lily murmured, the light amusement in her eyes fading quickly. She could tell she had struck a nerve that she didn’t know him quite well enough to laugh over. Luckily, Barty seemed to immediately get past the offense.
“You weren’t going for Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration were you?” He asked glancing between Lily and the book he wanted.
“As a matter of fact I was.” The two stared at each other for a beat and both scrambled to grab the book.
“Hah!” Barty yelled in celebration, holding the book high above his head and out of the prefect’s reach.
“Oh c’mon, Barty! I need that to study for my N.E.W.T.S.”
“And you will be able to study for your N.E.W.T.S. after I’ve read it first.”
“Why do you even need it?”
“Just a bit of light reading,” Barty shrugged.
“Oh,” Lily huffed out a laugh, “of course. Barty Crouch Jr. wants to read about transubstantial transfiguration theories in his free time.”
Barty sighed and crossed his arms over the book. “Look, Lily, I’ll forgive you for forgetting since we don’t have classes together, but I’m the top of my class. I’d probably be the top of your class and the seventh years’ class too if they’d let me take the tests to see.”
Lily scoffed in shock and shook her head, “You have got to be kidding me–” but before she could continue they were interrupted by the librarian, Madame Hawley.
“Just what do you think you two are doing?” She whisper-yelled at the two. Lily grimaced, turning towards the librarian and Barty held up his hands, one still clutching the book, to show his innocence.
“Sorry, Madame Hawley,” they said at the same time and quickly glanced at each other with confused suspicion.
“Ssshhhh!” Madame Hawley held her finger up to her mouth. Lily and Barty nodded, softly repeating their apologies. The librarian sighed and was about to turn away from them, but something further down the aisle caught her eye. She sucked in a sharp and her shoulders seemed to lift up to her ears before she was hurrying past them to whisper-yell at a group of second-years.
Barty and Lily watched as Madame Hawley informed the twelve year olds that they were not allowed to make gingerbread houses in the library because food is not allowed in the library.
“I literally just saw a fourth year transfigure a piece of paper into a piece of pizza,” one of the second years said in defense, pointing across the library.
“Well,” Madame Hawley glanced in the direction of a group of fourth years, looking full of concern. “I’m sure that was strictly for academic purposes.”
Barty and Lily stopped paying attention to the interaction though. Both of their minds had gotten caught on the glimmer of an idea, remarkably, the very same idea. They looked at each other with increasingly common suspicion in their eyes, like they already knew they were thinking the same thing. And without saying a word, mischievous smiles spread across their faces.
“Where’s Lily?” Remus asked the group, although he looked to Pandora for the answer.
“I’m not sure,” Pandora shrugged, “We’re also missing Barty.” She tried not to look so directly at Evan after the assertion, but the attempt to not make him uncomfortable was futile as everyone else looked to him.
“Well, I don’t know where either of them are,” Evan said defensively.
“Imagine those two are hanging out without us,” Peter says with a chuckle that elicits laughs from around the prank planning room. Pandora and Evans' eyes meet though, with a shared curiosity about the possibility of that particular friendship.
After confirming that they were, in fact, getting the exact same prank idea, Lily and Barty sat down in the corner of the library to discuss it in hushed tones. They debated the magical and logistical requirements of pulling such a prank off and came to an easy agreement that it would be best if just the two of them worked on it.
Once they had silently agreed to not waste time debating who would be top of the class if they were the same age, Lily and Barty found that they agreed on a lot of things. They both thought the reason why none of the group pranks had been successful was that there were too many people involved.
“Exactly! Too many cooks in the kitchen!” Lily said, which caused Barty’s face to scrunch up in confusion at the muggle saying.
They met up throughout the rest of that last week of classes and then seemingly disappeared right out from under their friends’ noses on the day they were all supposed to meet up with their ideas for a Christmas prank.
“You know that if we pull this off, we’ll be legends,” Barty said looking down at Lily as they quickly made their way towards the kitchens.
“We won’t be legends because we won’t be caught ,” Lily looked back at him pointedly. This seemed to be the only sore point in their new partnership so far. Barty didn’t care much about getting in trouble because he relished disappointing his dear old dad, but Lily hated getting in trouble. She knew her parents would be more surprised than upset; it was more the professors who she was worried about disappointing. She really wanted to be Head Girl next year.
“Lily, there are like 5 other students outside of our group who are staying here for the break. They’re going to figure out it was us.”
“They might think that it’s our group, but there will be no proof,” Lily said, confidently.
They had planned their trip to the kitchens to gather the last of the supplies they needed exactly for when the elves usually take their break while everyone ate their dinner upstairs in the Great Hall. The pair arrived at their destination and both pulled their wands out to use the unlocking charm on the door. They looked at each other for a moment before Barty shrugged and put his wand away, allowing Lily to take the lead.
“Alright, we’ve got to hurry up. The others will be looking for us soon–” Barty started to say as they entered the kitchens, but Lily abruptly grabbed onto the back of his jumper (everyone was loving being able to dress how they want in the castle during the break) and pulled him into a cupboard.
“What the–oomph,” Lily put her hand over Barty’s mouth and he rolled his eyes as she quickly pulled the door closed behind them. Barty reached up and peeled her hand away to whisper, “Evans, if this has all been a ruse to shag me, I’m going to be highly disappointed in you.”
It was Lily’s turn to roll her eyes.
“As if, Junior,” she whispered back and the pair exchanged fond fake sneers. “Mr. Pringle ,” she added and nodded her head towards the cupboard door separating them from the kitchens.
“Fuck,” Barty ran a hand through his hair and murmured a quick silencing spell so no one could hear them outside the cupboard. “How long do you think he’ll be here?”
Lily shrugged in response and they looked at each other before silently agreeing to make themselves comfortable and try to wait out the old man.
About fifteen minutes later sitting against the wall across from Barty with her knees pulled up to her chest, Lily had to stifle a laugh.
“What?” Barty asked, curiously.
Lily shook her head, “I just– I was thinking about your joke about us shagging.”
“Oh, were you?” Barty playfully wiggled his eyebrows at her, which earned another eye roll from the girl.
“It’s just, we have so much in common that I had no idea about until this week.”
“Ok, now you’re starting to scare me,” Barty said with humorous caution in his voice.
“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. We even want to shag the same people, basically. I mean not really, but kind of.” It was as if Lily was talking to herself more than Barty. No matter who they were directed at though, Lily’s words made Barty freeze.
“What?” Barty asked, but it came out much more high pitched than he meant for it to. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Wha- um, what do you mean, Evans?”
Lily looked at Barty and saw the fear in his eyes. She considered making something up to ease his mind, but then she thought about all the yearning looks Barty and Evan give each other when the other isn’t watching. Lily spent so much time looking at Pandora that way and luckily Pandora put her out of her misery by asking her out. Since that moment, Lily’s life has been so full of joy and, although she’s afraid to say it, love. She had a feeling neither Barty or Evan were going to budge unless someone shoved one of them. She decided it was time to give Barty a friendly nudge in the direction of love.
“You know the only person I want to shag is Pandora and the only person you want to shag is her twin, which kinda makes them the same person in some ways,” Lily tried to say it with an air of nonchalance.
“I–wha–uh–n–” Barty spluttered and scoffed, unable to find the right response. Lily guessed no one else had confronted him about his oh-so-obvious feelings for Evan yet. She gave him a look of knowing sympathy and he sighed. Lily could see the carefully crafted mask of blitheness that Barty always wore slip off his face.
“It’s not–” Barty started to say and hesitated before continuing, “It’s not about shagging.” He said it carefully, like he was test-tasting each important word he hadn’t dared try before.
Lily felt her heart melt a little bit. The admission meant a lot from Barty who was often joking about shagging and, up until about a year ago, would commonly disappear from a party with a different person each night.
Lily didn’t understand the level of importance to this particular admission though. Some time in fourth year Evan, Barty, Pandora, Dorcas, and Regulus were hanging out in Regulus and Evan’s room gossiping when the topic of shagging came up. They had been drinking which is what probably gave Evan the nerve to tell the group that he had no interest in sex. Barty had been shocked, he thought everyone was interested in sex. It’s just what everyone did.
Barty realized he had feelings for Evan for a while at that point, but after that conversation he thought that, as someone who had sex, he couldn’t be with Evan. He spent a year hooking up with anyone who batted their eyes at him, trying to get over his feelings for Evan, but they just wouldn’t go away. Eventually he realized he wasn’t even enjoying the sex he was having because he didn’t care about the people (in the nicest way possible), so he stopped. His friends joked that he was sick or had gotten an STD and had been forced to stop, but in reality he had just started to understand what Evan had meant about not being interested in sex.
He still didn’t believe he could ever be with Evan though.
“Of course,” Lily didn’t want to scare him from opening up more by saying too much.
The silence stretched out between them.
“I love him,” Barty whispered, despite the silencing charm he had placed on the cupboard earlier. He wasn’t sure why he was admitting this to Lily Evans of all people, but it was happening.
Lily sucked in a quiet gasp. It wasn’t that she was all that surprised, but she wasn’t expecting the admission.
“But it’s never going to happen,” Barty added.
“Why not?” Lily resisted the urge to tell Barty that Evan was desperately in love with him too.
“He’s my best friend, Lily. I always fuck these kinds of things up and I can’t risk fucking this up. Besides, he’d never feel the way I feel. He knows me too well for that.”
Lily’s heart sank.
“That’s not true, Barty.”
He wasn’t so sure though. Barty was a mess. He was reckless and he could be mean. He let his words fly like knives when he was mad and he wore an exterior armor of sandpaper. Up until he got close with Regulus, Dorcas, Pandora, and Evan, he had driven away so many friends by seemingly just being himself. He felt like it was a miracle that he hadn’t driven away these friends and he promised himself he would do everything he could to keep that from happening. Ignoring his feelings for Evan was a part of that plan.
Somehow Lily seemed to sense what Barty was thinking.
“I used to think I drove my sister away,” Lily sighed. “When we realized I was a witch, well, she was really freaked out by it. And then I got into Hogwarts and I think maybe she was a little jealous. My parents were a bit overwhelmed by it all so they paid a lot more attention to me for a while. She said I was different, though. That I had changed and she didn’t like who I was anymore.
“Then I met Severus,” Lily was interrupted by a noise of disgust coming from Barty. She had gotten used to that response long ago and had learned to ignore it. “We got close. He was the only wizard I knew before coming to Hogwarts and with everything going on with my sister, you know, I really trusted him. Until he started pushing me away, only wanting to hang out in secret so his blood supremacist friends wouldn’t know he liked me. He complained about my friends and said that I had changed, that he didn’t like who I was anymore.
“I never felt like I changed that much, unless it was for the better. I thought that there must be something about me, fundamentally, that just drives people away eventually. It took me a while to realize it, but it wasn’t me. The people who can’t handle you for yourself, they try to find a way to exit your life and make it seem like it’s your fault. Sure, we all make mistakes, but the people who stick around to watch you change and grow, those are the people worth letting in.”
The two of them stared at each other, Lily hoping what she had said made sense and Barty wondering how in the world he felt such kinship with Lily Evans.
“I don’t know how you were ever friends with Snape,” he finally said.
“Don’t change the subject,” Lily said with a laugh. “I think Evan is worth the risk.”
Barty took a deep breath and felt his heart clench around the sound of Evan’s name. He knew Evan was worth the risk. Evan was worth… maybe everything to him.
“I’m scared.”
“Barty Crouch Jr. scared?” Lily asked. They locked eyes and Barty resisted letting his smile loose.
“How did you even know?” Barty asked, giving into the smile.
“Please,” Lily laughed, “how could anyone not ?”
“Ugh,” he groaned and lifted his hands to cover his face. “Who else knows?” He peeked between his fingers.
Lily opened her mouth trying to find a gentle way to break the news that basically everyone except for Evan knew.
Barty let out another groan.
“Look, I really think you should tell him how you feel. I think it’d be worth it.”
The two locked eyes broke out in matching grins.
Lily and Barty spent another hour sitting in that cupboard talking about anything from their favorite Hogwarts meals to their beloved Rosier twins. Barty was much kinder than Lily had realized and Barty found that Lily could have a sharp tongue when she wanted to. They surprisingly seemed to have the same sense of humor and spent half the time laughing. The other half of the time was spent in quiet awe of how alike they were while listening to each other’s stories. And although neither would ever admit it, they both secretly accepted that they were at least equals when it came to their intellect.
When Mr. Pringle and all the elves finally vacated the kitchens, the two were freed from their cupboard. They grabbed the supplies they needed and went their separate ways to their dormitories, since it was past curfew at that point, agreeing to meet up the next day to set everything in place for the prank.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the castle
Not a creature was stirring, not even an animagus rat;
The stockings were hung in each common room with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The students were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of chocolate frogs danced in their heads;
And Lily in her scarf, and Barty in his cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the quidditch pitch there arose such a clatter,
Barty sprang from his bed to see their magic scatter.
Away to the window, Lily flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But the transfiguration of their home,
Hogwarts,
into a world of gingerbread.
Barty whistled, and whispered:
"Now, the quidditch stands ! now, the green house ! now the boat house and the stone bridge !
On, the great hall ! on, the astronomy tower ! on, the classrooms and the library !
To the top of Ravenclaw tower! to the bottom of the Slytherin dungeons!"
Lily drew in her head, and was turning around,
The magic gingerbread spread unbound.
And she laughed when she saw, in spite of herself;
She went straight back to bed,
And whispered—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
“What the f–” Marlene cut herself off, struck by complete and utter shock at the world around her that was made completely out of gingerbread.
The walls, the floors, the furniture — everything except for the people, their clothes, and their bedding was made out of gingerbread and decorated with icing, powdered sugar, and giant candy. The girls in Gryffindor tower woke up and couldn’t help but just burst into a fit of giggles at the absurdity of what their room had been transformed into overnight.
Of course Lily was the only one who knew that it wasn’t just their room that had been transfigured. She was usually terrible at keeping secrets and keeping her thoughts from presenting themselves on her face, but so far she seemed to be doing pretty well. Everyone just assumed it was the Marauders – James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
They met up with the boys, who were just as astonished and delighted by the state of the castle, downstairs in the Gryffindor common room. The boys swore up and down that it wasn’t them, but no one wanted to admit that the Slytherins and Ravenclaws could have out done them like this, so they didn’t even entertain the consideration.
On their way to the Great Hall for breakfast they saw some of the other students who had stayed for the holidays. Everyone was in awe of the beautifully decorated, edible castle they had woken up in.
In the Great Hall some professors were arguing and looking around the room in similar confusion and awe. They couldn’t figure out how to undo the transfiguration. Lily tucked in her lips, trying to conceal her satisfied smile. She and Barty had included a timer factor in their transfiguration spell so that Hogwarts would be made of gingerbread for just 24 hours, starting at 12 AM Christmas morning. She spied Professor McGonagall regarding the room, paying no attention to the other professors trying to figure out how it had happened. She looked impressed and it was almost enough to make Lily own up to it.
The Slytherins and Ravenclaws joined the Gryffindors at their gingerbread table and benches shortly after they arrived. They all stared each other down trying to figure out who had pulled off the prank. Lily worried that if she and Barty made eye contact all would be lost, but as soon as her and Pandora’s gazes met she knew that she had been figured out, at least by her girlfriend. She tried to contain her smile.
“Hi,” Pandora said quietly, slipping into the spot next to Lily with a small smirk and a sparkle in her eye, “Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas,” Lily responded. She followed her girlfriend’s moving gaze and spotted Evan and Barty’s interlocked hands just before they sat down and their hands disappeared from view. Pandora and her quickly looked at each other and Lily thought it might take all her strength keeping her growing glee hidden from her face. She interlocked her hand with Pandora’s under the table and gave it three squeezes. They had never discussed it explicitly, but it was somehow understood that three hand squeezes meant something akin to I love you , although they hadn’t quite reached that step yet.
“Alright,” Remus said, setting down his fork and looking serious, “who did it?”
Everyone looked at each other, waiting for someone to own up to it.
“C’mon, no one is going to snitch,” Peter added.
“Well, it wasn’t me,” James said dejectedly, his shoulders slumping in disappointment that he hadn’t been a part of such a large, successful prank.
“I guess that means it wasn’t Sirius either,” Marlene said, eyes squinting in an effort to root out the culprits. Sirius took offense to this and the group broke out into several conversations discussing the gingerbread castle and the possible pranksters responsible.
Barty and Lily dared at the same time to look at each other for the first time since they had parted ways the night before after setting their plan into action. They had done it. They had transfigured the entirety of Hogwarts into a giant gingerbread house – or castle to be more accurate. The pair glanced over at Madame Hawley who was waving her hands at Mr. Pringle and spluttering about crumbs in her library.
When their eyes met again they tried their hardest to contain their laughter. Lily pressed a hand over her mouth and Barty closed his eyes and turned his head away from her, clenching his jaw.
“You two?” Regulus asked in shock that made everyone else’s conversations halt.
The two looked at each other again, lips twitching with anticipation and laughter. Neither understood how or why, but they knew exactly what they were both going to say.
“There is no proof,” Lily and Barty said together. And that was the last straw. She and Barty burst into a fit of gasping, snorting laughter, that the rest of the group couldn’t help but succumb to once they got over the shock of the revelation.
“Merlin, what is up with you two? It’s like you barely knew each other and now you keep saying the same things at the same time!” Mary exclaimed.
“They’re like twins,” Dorcas said, shaking her head and looking at them as if they were a confusing arithmancy problem.
“Twins of Chaos,” Evan said, looking at his sister across the table.
“Our very own,” Pandora smiled back at him meaningfully.
Lily and Barty didn’t really understand what that meant, but they didn’t need to. They had proven themselves amongst their friends and each other to be the smartest, they had left no evidence of their scheme, and they had their Rosiers by their sides for a very happy Hogwarts Christmas. Although they would never admit it, the most important result of their Christmas prank was the unlikely, chaotic, and strangely perfect friendship they had found in each other.