I Can Be A Black Too
Now:
Bellatrix’s knees cracked as she sunk into the large wooden chair behind her. She was seated around a large table, everyone whos anyone in the other chairs. Bellatrix of course was on the Dark Lord's right. An honor, a privilege… she expected no less.
Fanning her ragged dress over her bony white knees, Bellatrix waited for the meeting to commence. They were to discuss the outcome of the recent attacks. They were winning the war of course. There was no doubt about that, they had killed many mudblood families, and all of the purebloods with misplaced allegiance were failing or, in other words, they were dying.
7 years ago:
As October turned to late November, and snow began to fall, herbology became more and more boring. Generally they were lectured on plants as they bloomed, taking little trips about the grounds to observe the plants. They would take notes on where they were found, what type of environment, common factors and uncommon. But now, with snow on the ground, Professor Fig said that we wouldn’t resume outdoor training until spring. To say Bellatrix was sad was an understatement, she loved running about the grounds with her friends while Professor Fig yelled at them from behind. It was exciting and fun, the only class at Hogwarts that was fun and exciting… until now.
Bellatrix stood around a large wooden table with the rest of her class. Her expression was bored as she practically laid on the table in front of her, propping her head up on the palm of her hand. Around her others were in a similar shape.
Professor Fig was lecturing them on the properties of Devil's Snare. “It is composed of soft, springy tendrils and vine–” A snore came from the corner of the table, as a Slytherin–Rudy Prott–gave into boredom. Letting on a breath of laughter Bellatrix focused back on the teacher–who was giving a nasty glare at the sleeping boy. “Devil’s Snare has a sense of touch, using its tendrils which ensnares anyone who touches it. It then binds the legs and arms before choking them to death.”
“It’s like a venus fly trap!” A muggleborn Hufflepuff exclaimed, excitement clear in her voice. Herbology was one of the classes that Syltherin shared with Hufflepuff. Generally everyone got along okay but a couple times there have been a couple incidents.
“ It’s like a venus fly trap ,” Alecto mocked from under her breath next to me. Snorting, Bellatrix rolled her eyes. It really is stupid how the muggleborns are so painstakingly obvious, it's like– “It’s like they want us to make fun of them.” Alecto added a little louder, practically reading my mind.
“Now Miss Carrow–” Professor Fig started, overhearing Alecto’s snide comment.
“Don’t worry Professor Fig I got this,” Bellatrix interrupts, turning to face her friend. In a mocking voice of the Professor she began to speak. “Now Miss Carrow, what did I tell you about respecting other students? That kind of behavior is unacceptable ! If you do it again I will give you detention! Five points from Slytherin!” By the time Bellatrix was done speaking all of the Slytherins in the room were roaring with laughter while the Hufflepuff girl was red with fury and embarrassment. Turning back to Professor Fig, “How’d I do, Professor?” Bellatrix asked, innocence laced through her words.
“Miss Black you will see me after class,” Professor Figs ordered, no malice on her face, instead a small smile peeking in the corners of her mouth. Bellatrix shrugged.
“Sure.”
“And you!” the Professor points at Alecto. “Five points from Slytherin.”
“Sure.” Alecto said, this time mocking her friend. Bellatrix elbowed her in the ribs.
“Now, Mr Prott,” Professor Fig turned her attention back to the sleeping student. “Could you tell me how to defend oneself against Devil’s Snare.” A loud snore was her response. “Mr Prott!” Someone nudged him.
“Huh!?” Rudy asked, rubbing his eyes with a sleepy groan.
“How would one defend themself against Devil’s Snare?”
“Umm…” Rudy Prott lowered his eyes. “I’m not sure.”
“Lovely,” Professor Fig said. “Then we will go over it again.” Bellatrix groaned.
After class Bellatrix stayed behind, slowly packing up her bags as the rest of the students scrambled out the door.
“Wait for you outside the door,” Alecto told her before heading to the door as well. Bellatrix waited till everyone was gone.
“Professor?” She asked, eyebrows raised. “What is it that you need?”
“Miss Black,” Professor Fig didn’t bother turning away from what she was doing. “It was clear to me at the beginning of the year that you had a gift for Herbology…” Bellatrix held back her laugh. “And you still do, however I'm afraid that your motives are being misplaced. Might I recommend sitting in a different spot in the next class?”
“Professor, with all due respect. Am I not still at the top of this class? Despite my misplaced motives?”
“You are,”
“Then I believe I’m doing fine, your concern is appreciated.”
“Fine, but I will not have you distracting other students even if you refuse to properly tap into your talents.”
“Professor, it's not that big of a deal, we are first years?”
“And a sassy one,” Professor Fig sighed. “That will be all.” Bellatrix slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way to the door, unable to keep the mirth off of her face. Bellatrix might love herbology, however that doesn’t mean she’s going to spend all of her free time on it, when she's already top of the class.
“What’d she want?” Alecto asked as Bellatrix pushed through the door, Adia standing with Alecto.
“She wanted me to ‘embrace my true talents’,” Bellatrix smirked. Alecto fell into a fit of laughter.
“Yes Bellatrix! Embrace your talents!” Alecto and Bellatrix fell apart as Adia stood silently to the side, a small smile peaking on her lips. Adia, was generally soft spoken in public, but in private she was crazy… Belaltrix knew that for a fact. “I can’t believe she didn’t pull me aside! I have talents too! Instead all I get is an elbow to the ribs and points taken away! I think Professor Fig has favorites!”
“Well of course I’m her favorite! Have you met me!” Bellatrix pointed out before adding. “And you deserved that elbow to the ribs.”
“It hurts!” Alecto complained
“You’re weak,”
“And you're bad at insults, twat.” Alecto quipped. Bellatrix made a vulgare gesture with her hand that she’d seen a third year use. “HEY! That wasn’t very nice!”
“You can handle it.”
“Both of you shut it we have our next class to get to.” Adia cut in finally bored of the endless banter.
“Did she just…” Alecto looking at Adia like she was an alien
“I think she did.” Bellatrix responded, her mouth gaping open.
“I simply just don’t get it!” Aycummus groaned, banging his head against the table.
“What's not to get?! It’s an essay!” Bellatrix exclaimed, she had sadly agreed to help her friend two hours ago, and they were still stuck on the same essay.
“Oh shut up you don’t even have to try!”
“Yes I do! I’m just smart enough to write an essay in under–” she checked the clock on the wall. “ Two hours!”
“Hey!!”
“Merlin's beard Aycumus! I’ll just write the bloody thing for you!” She groaned, snatching the paper. Aycumus smirk grew as he leaned back into the chair. “It’s not something to be proud of when you're going to fail the exams.”
“Prick,”
“Twat,’
“Oh shut it both of you!” Tiberius rolled his eyes from where he sat in an armchair. “Who has the ‘lovers quarrel’ now Aycumus?” Tiberius and Bellatrix were now on good terms, they still went up to the astronomy tower each night, but they didn’t talk as much. They just appreciate the beauty of the night sky, and the company. Then of course some nights they had to continue their pranks. It was still a good outlet for Bellatrix, doing sort of what her parents want by targeting the muggleborns. Of course Alecto–who was currently with Adia somewhere–and Bellatrix mocked them in and out of classes, but it wasn’t serious.
“Ew!!! I would nev–” Bellatrix slammed a roll of parchment over his head before Aycumus could finish his thought.
“ Don’t finish that sentence,” She warned. “And scratch that I’m not going to write your essay! Or help you! In fact I’m going to go find your sister who’s obviously superior.” Aycumus groaned, hands in his face.
“Fine Trixie do what you want,” Tiberius grunted, looking back down at his own work.
“What did you call me?” Bellatrix asked, eyes narrow.
“Trixie,” he repeated. “I thought your name was too long and Trixie felt like the best fit.” He cast a crooked smirk in Bellatrix’s direction, she scoffed, she hated the nickname Trixie. It was disgusting, and it sounded weak. but as long as Tiberius could call her that, then she could call him—
“Fine, well I’m going to go now. Bye Tibby!” She ran for the door of the common room as she heard Tiberius shout.
“Don’t you DARE call me that, Bellatrix!!”
The next morning Bellatrix was tired, as usual, but this time she was in a foul mood. All of her friends knew to steer clear of her when she was like this, after all the last time she was pissed she said some pretty bad things that Bellatrix now regrets.
The group sat down in their regular spots, each person silently grabbing for their breakfasts. Bellatrix, like usual, went for the tea. She had never really liked tea at Grimmauld place but here it was delicious. A mix of mint, and mountain tea surprisingly turned into a delicious combination.
Everything was going swell through breakfast, until Bellatrix got an owl. It was dark, almost pitch black holding a fresh piece of parchment, magnificently sealed with an intricate green design. Bellatrix knew it was for her before it even landed, and it wasn’t from her sisters.
The owl landed gracefully on the table, making sure not to spill anything. Even the damn owl was proper!
She felt her friends tense beside her, Bellatrix had only ever gotten one other owl from her parents and it had sent her spiraling into anger. It was no secret that Bellatrix hated her parents and her friends knew it.
Bellatrix reached for the letter, trying to force her hand to stop shaking. It wasn’t that she was afraid of her parents necessary. She was afraid of what they could have done. She clearly remembered that threat from her mother months ago like it was yesterday. Whatever she did reelected the treatment on her sisters, was the kind way of putting it.
Opening the letter Bellatrix forced herself to breathe:
To Bellatrix Druella Black
Do not fail us now.
Toujour pur.
–Druella Lucille Black
Turns out the breath wasn’t enough. Bellatrix’s mind stuttered in a mixture of wrath and fear. It was simple–seven words–and yet her parents knew the right words to get under Bellatrix’s skin. Toujour pur was French for always pure, it was a threat inside a reminder, and apparently Bellatrix needed a reminder.
She hadn’t done anything wrong, she was in Slytherin, she had pureblood friends, she was top of her classes! What more did her parents want?
The bell for the first class rung and Bellatrix was ushered back down all of the stairs to the potions room. She took her spot next to Alecto at their potions station, her mind was still bursting with thoughts, but at least she could function now.
“Good morning class!” Professor Slughorn called out from the front of the classroom. “Now before you get too comfortable in your seats, I would like to say that there have been a few changes of plans for today. I will be pairing you and your partner up with another into groups of four.” Bellatrix turned to look at where Adia sat with Aycumus–Tiberuis alway sat with his ‘other’ friends in this class. “Might I repeat, I will be doing the pairings. Also these groups will be for the rest of the year, so might as well get used to your partners!” The class groaned, this was a Slytherin and Gryfindor mix and if Professor Slughorn was choosing, it was going to be almost impossible to be paired with another Slytherin group. “Alright first up! Roma Skelot and Isabella Yamazaki with Adia Zabini and Aycumus Carrow!” The list went on until there were only two groups remaining. “And last but not least, Bellatrix Black and Alecto Carrow with Adelaide Higgs and Adam Vane. Please get with your groups.” Bellatrix fummed, one muggleborn and a halfblood, how was she supposed to prove herself to her parents if she had to be with a muggleborn!? She paused,
Prove, prove herself, that's what her parents wanted her to do. Bellatrix swallowed tersely, her stomach was twisting, she felt like throwing up. She could prove herself to her parents even while being partnered with muggleborns. She simply had to treat them like they were; dirt and beneath her.
Swallowing, she placed a hand of Alectos arm to stop her from getting up. “Let them come to us,” she forced on a confident smirk. She watched as Alecto’s eyes widened in surprise but still Alecto took her spot next to Bellatrix once again.
Turning to face the pair in the corner of the room Bellatrix made eye contact with the half blood, raising an eyebrow in challenge. She could hear his scoff from where she sat and it made her stomach twist further.
Stop it, you're a Black, they are beneath you. Beneath you. She told herself, not looking away from the boy. Finally he turned away and said something to the girl, they stood up and made their way to us.
“Wow…” Alecto muttered from Bellatrix’s side.
“That was a bitchy move,” the boy–Adam–said as they got into ear shot. Bellatrix’s eyes widened at the language he had used, even though she didn’t do that.
“And?” She asked, pushing her mask back into place. He didn’t get the chance to respond because Professor Slughorn budged his way into the conversation.
“Wonderful! Now please open to page 170, to get your supplies.”
“Now since we came here, I only think it’s fair that you get the supplies.” Adam smirked at Bellatrix. She didn’t respond and didn’t get up. “As I expected,” he muttered. “Black, let me give you a rude awakening. You're not better, the air you breathe is the same air I breathe, the ground you step on is the same as the one I walk on. So I hope that you push through this bullshit that you're pulling right now otherwise this will be a long year.” Again she didn’t reply. “Unless you're simply not smart enough to get the supplies?! Sad little Black too stupid to pick up her feet and move.” That got Bellatrix moving, she knew that he was just egging her on, but she could just stand back and take it. Fisting his robes in her hand she leaned in.
“Listen here Vane, you can have all the wishes in dreams in the world but you’ll never be as good as me. You're like filth on my robes, an insect, and I don’t have a problem squishing if in my way. So I recommend you take yourself and your little mudblood friend and get the fucking supplies,” She muttered just loud enough for Adelaide and Alecto to hear. She heard Alecto suck in a breath, but Bellatrix’s eyes didn’t blink as she stared at Adam.
His mouth curved in disgust, “What did you just call her?”
“What? A mudblo–” Pain flashed through Bellatrix’s face as Adam brought his hand down on Bellatrix’s cheek. Bellatrix didn’t flinch though, she had endured much harsher hits than that. But still she spit out the blood dripping in her mouth, desperate to wash the copper taste away.
“You are no better than the rest of them,” he sneered.
“Adam stop, it’s okay.” Adelaide whispered softly from his side. As she met Bellatrix’s stare, Bellatrix suddenly felt like throwing up.
“It’s not okay! She called you the M word!”
“It’s okay,” Adelaide didn’t break Bellatrix’s stare.
That night as Bellatrix sat down next to Tiberius on the astronomy tower, it was quiet, almost eerie. Bellatrix still felt like throwing up, guilted gnawing at her.
“You want to talk about it?” Tiberius asked quietly. Apparently news traveled faster than she thought.
“Maybe later,” she replied, locking her gaze up on three stars in the sky, wishing more than anything that she could have her sisters with her.