To be cared for
Regulus awoke peacefully for the first time in what seemed like ages. He hadn’t felt this calm since…well since he was a little kid. He snuggled deeper into the arms that were holding him and sighed happily. Wait…he froze, realizing that he was not alone. The events of last night came back to him, and he groaned, scrunching his face up in embarrassment. He felt James start to stir beside him and began to panic. Oh god, what would James think of him? He’d be so upset and disappointed in Regulus. I mean, what kind of 16 year old was scared of loud noises?
He whimpered a little and started to feel small--like he did last night. No no no, this couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t slip again, not right in front of Jamie. Jamie, his Jamie, he thought, getting distracted easily. His brain felt like it was on hyperdrive, like he couldn’t focus on one thing for too long. It was quite confusing. Sirius, he decided, he needed Sirius.
He quickly rolled out of bed and immediately discovered that his legs weren’t working quite right. He collapsed to the ground with a little “oomf” as he sat on the floor, quite discombobulated. He checked himself for injuries, and quickly realized that his bum hurt. Ow. And his elbow. Double ow. His eyes welled with tears of frustration. He just wanted Sirius, but now here he was, with a hurt bum and elbow to show for it.
He let out a small whine and tried to wipe the tears away, only for more to come out and replace them. Soon, he was sobbing, his arms wrapping around his too-long legs and curling into a ball.
Distantly, he could hear James stirring. Oh no, he didn’t want James to see him like this. He quickly scooted himself under the bed and tried to keep himself as quiet as possible. Unfortunately, James found him rather easily.
“Regulus?” He asked, his voice gentle, and his eyes soft in a way that made Regulus want to burrow into his arms and never leave. When James noticed the tears on his face, he frowned, looking absolutely devastated. “Reggie, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked, and Regulus couldn’t resist any longer. He rolled out from under the bed and practically launched himself into James’s arms. The older boy was clearly surprised, but returned the embrace nonetheless, sitting Regulus on his lap and cradling him.
“I woke up, and I ‘membered what happened last night and- and I’m so sorry Jamie. Didn’t mean to. An- an then I started feelin’ small again and I didn’t want to wake you up, but I weally wanted Siri, so I tried to get up, but my legs didn’t work and I fell and hurt my bum and my elbow, and then I started crying.” Regulus was sobbing by the time he was finished, burrowing into James’s arms and clinging to him.
“Oh baby,” James cooed affectionately. “You don’t have to feel sorry, it’s perfectly normal. Do you still want your big brother, or do you want to stay here and cuddle?” He asked and Regulus thought about it for a minute.
“Wanna see Siri. But can we still cuddle?” He asked shyly, and James grinned, pressing small kisses all over his face and making him shriek with laughter.
This must have woken the other boys up because Sirius shot up in his bed, his eyes searching for his little brother. His eyes softened when he saw James and Regulus.
“Of course we can!” James said, picking up a smiling Regulus and making zooming sounds as he pretended to fly over to Sirius’s bed.
He plopped Regulus down in Sirius’s lap, and Regulus’s face lit up.
“Siri!” He shrieked, snuggling into his brother, but still holding James’s hand. James sat down as well, and grinned at the two brothers. Sirius enveloped him in his arms, and pressed small kisses to the top of his head. Regulus sighed contentedly and put his thumb in his mouth, content to cuddle with his brother.
James frowned and gestured to Remus. He whispered something in his ear, and Remus nodded and went to grab something.
When he came back, he smiled softly at the sight before him. Sirius and James were both looking after Regulus, soft looks of affection on their faces. Remus held out the object in his hand to James, who took it and promptly took Regulus’s thumb out of his mouth—drawing a whine from the boy—and popping the pacifier into Regulus’s mouth.
Regulus and Sirius both stared at him in confusion. James smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Well, I was going to get you a pacifier for when you’re small,” he said to Sirius. “And they must have accidentally sent me two. I was going to send one back, but I thought that since Regulus seems to like sucking his thumb as much as you do, why not make the best of it?” Sirius smiled at James and kissed his cheek.
“Thanks Jamie, you’re a good friend.” Sirius said, resting his head on James’s shoulder. Regulus scowled from behind the pacifier. He took it out and let it rest in his hand.
“I don’t need this. I’m big. Everyone says I’m mature for my age.” Regulus said, struggling adorably around the word ‘mature’.
“Reg,” Sirius said looking down lovingly at the boy in his arms. “It’s okay to need things. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it would help. It’s important to say no, but it’s also important to say yes.” Regulus squirmed a little, clearly embarrassed, before closing his eyes and putting the pacifier into his mouth.
“There you go,” James cooed, kissing Regulus’s head sweetly. “You’re such a brave boy. I’m so proud of you.” Regulus preened at the praise and leaned into James, tucking his head into the curve of the older boy’s neck.
A few hours later, Regulus came back to himself, blinking in the warm light that streamed in from the cracks in the curtains. He frowned, trying to get his 16 year old mind back.
“James?” He asked, surprised when his pacifier fell out. His cheeks burned with shame as he quickly tried to hide the object that had been in his mouth and soothing him only a few minutes prior.
“Reggie?” James asked, clearly confused. “Why are you hiding that?”
“I don’t feel small anymore,” Regulus said, not making eye contact.
“Okay, do you want to talk about what happened?” James asked, kissing his cheek. “It’s perfectly normal, by the way.”
“It’s not normal, James,” Regulus sighed, still not looking at James. “I’m sixteen years old. I shouldn’t be acting like a child.”
“Regulus,” James said, cradling Regulus’s face in his hands. “Listen, I’ve done so much research on trauma responses that I know what I’m talking about. Your brother regresses sometimes as well. It’s your mind trying to process what you went through as a kid, and the only way it knows how to do that is by revisiting the age you were when you went through that trauma. It can be scary, yes, but it can also be fun.”
Regulus sits in stunned silence as he listens to his boyfriend talk about everything he’s researched, his mouth falling open as James reveals a whole new world to him.
“I could take care of you when you’re like that,” James offered tentatively. “If you wanted.”
“Shut up and kiss me.” Regulus said breathlessly, and leaned in to connect their lips. James gasped, obviously not prepared for the kiss, but reciprocating nonetheless. “Obviously I would love for you to take care of me. Please do, but only if you want to.”
James grinned. “Wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to, baby.