Chapter 9
I didn’t even go to dinner. I sat in that alcove until I was sure Fred was gone. I marched straight to my room. I took the calming drought and dreamless sleep potions that Snape gave me that morning. I would not be see him in my dreams tonight.
When I made my way to breakfast the next morning I felt refreshed. The dreamless sleep potion from Snape worked like a charm. He was a master after all. I skipped my friends who looked tired.
“Good morning my darlings.” I called out to them. Noah groaned and put his head into his arms. I ruffed his hair before sitting next to him.
“What’s up with you? You skip dinner then show up in this mood.” Maddie said. She had a cup of coffee in her hand.
“Took a dreamless sleep potion last night. I was having a bad day, I needed it.” I shrugged and poured myself some tea. Lucian frowned and leaned forward.
“At least eat something then.” He placed a scone in front of me.
“Thank you, but I always get a stomach ache if I eat after a potion like that. I’ll be fine until lunch.” I smiled at him.
“I have to get to charms early. There is something I want to run by flitwick.” Maddie said, getting up.
“I’ll go with you. I'm headed that way for dada.” I said get up with her.
As we passed the gryffindors Fred wiggled his fingers at me. He had that little stupid smirk on. I flipped him off before continuing. His smile only grew.
“I thought he stopped making comments and doing things like that.” She gave me a side eye. I sighed hard.
“He did until we had a run in recently.” I said.
She full on glared at me. “And when were you going to tell me exactly?”
“It started Monday, I was going to tell you but it’s been a crazy two days.”
“Well I know I’m not getting the full report in the hall so tonight it’s a girls night. After dinner you are coming with me to my room.” She said.
“I won’t leave out a single detail.” I held up my hands.
“Good! Can’t wait.” With that she left me, heading towards the charms classroom.
I shook my head after her before turning and heading up to the dada classroom.
—
Not every sixth year took defense against the darks arts. My dad always says it’s practical to know so I should take it all seven years.
I entered the familiar room. Professor Moody wasn’t in the room yet so I sat on one of the desks waiting. I pulled out my wand and started making little dragons fly around my head. I transfigured them from metal to paper to rock and back again.
I did it absentmindedly. Letting them carry themselves through the air. Moody entered the room silently but I noticed him from the corner of my eye. He stood and watched my show. The other students had yet to notice him as they were also watching my little dragons fly around.
“Confringo.” He called out once they turned to paper again. I was anticipating something like this. I silently shielded them. His spell bounced off hitting a desk. A scorched mark was all that was left.
“Accio.” I called and the little metal dragons were now in my hand.
We all turned to look at him as he chuckled. “Perfect use of the silent protago. We are continuing wandless magic. If you haven’t mastered the basics by now then there is no help for you.”
He stopped at the front of the classroom. He took a swig out of his drink.
“You better pray your not without your wand against a dark wizard.” His eye moved around the room looking at each of us individually. It always unnerved me how it seemed to see into my soul.
“Group up and practice protago and expelimaus. Sense there is a odd number Audrey, your with me.”
The tables moved themselves out of the way. I jumped down from mine before it zipped across the room. I watched my classmates pair up before making my way over to professor moody.
I stood a little ways away while he critiqued a Hufflepuff student already. He then turned to me taking another drink from his flask. He put it up pulling out his wand. I put my wand in my robes.
“Try and-“ before he finished the sentence his wand was in my hand. Catching him off guard.
“Not sure I need anymore lessons in silent or wandless magic professor.” I twirled his wand around my fingers. He let out a laugh.
“No, you don’t. You’d make a fine auror one day, or a very powerful enemy. Let’s hope it’s the first.” His eyes narrowed on me. Before the wand flew from my hand. “Help your less skilled classmates would you.” He turned walked up to a pair who seemed to be struggling.
I made my way around the classroom helping students as well. The rest of class went by in a blur.
As we left the classroom a ravenclaw made a comment to their partner underneath their breath. “How is she so good at everything.”
I smiled to myself before turning to look at them. “It helps when your father is a professor. Also paying attention is everything.”
Embarrassment creeped up their face. But I turned and walked away flipping my hair over my shoulder. I knew I was weirdly good with magic. My parents have told me I was even using magic in the womb. But it was still weird to hear.
—
speaking of my father my next class was ancient runes. I entered the classroom, it was as familiar to me as my own home. He has had this room for as long as I could remember. I used to sit and study in here with him. That was before I decided studying with your dad was lame. I still visit him here often but not nearly as much as I used to.
He was talking to some seventh years from his previous class. I was early. luckily it was also in the dada wing so I got to it quickly after dada itself.
“Well the difference is, putting magic into the runes. If you give the runes power they will be power. You set your paper on fire, Edmund, because you believed the runes would.” The two girls standing there giggled that their classmate who turned red at being called out.
“Ok now get out. And don’t light anything on fire!” He said to them.
They waved after him. He turned towards me. Smiling wide.
“How is my favorite child?” He asked, sitting on the desk. I realized I definitely got my desk sitting habit from him.
“I’m your only child so it doesn’t count.” I pointed at him. He smiled wider.
“Well that also makes you my least favorite child so there’s that. How was defense against the dark arts?” He waved at some students entering the classroom.
“It was fine, still practicing wandless and silent spells. I mostly helped other students.” I shrugged.
“Good, it’s very important you all learn at least silent spell casting. I am very lucky that you excel at those. It helps me sleep at night.” He got up walking around the classroom talking to other students before class started.
He was a favorite among students. He spent time with them and his lesson were fun. He did a mix of practical and physical activities. He was enthusiastic and charismatic.
I once asked him why he wouldn’t teach one of the main subjects. He told me he prefers to have smaller groups. You can focus better on the individuals vs the masses.
I was in this class because my father taught it. Runes were nice to know but not something I felt necessary. Of course my father felt differently.
He moved around the classroom a lot sitting on different desks joking with students as he taught. I was so familiar with his teaching style it always felt like being at home.
I would remind myself of being a little girl. Sitting at our dining room table listening to him teach me things. My mom would either have a book in her hand reading or listening to his stories. He would exaggerate his tells to make us laugh. Afterwards he would pick me up and toss me around. I remember not being able to stop laughing.
My mom would intervene and tell him one girl could only handle so much laughter. I’ll be used up before I even turn twenty. He would kiss her and say “no one runs out of laughter, it's eternal.” Then I would run off to my next adventure, usually screaming. Leaving them both laughing after me.
My heart squeezed at the memories as I watched my dad now. He loved teaching and it showed in their love for him.
Class went by quickly. Once it finished I hugged him before leaving.
“Whoa what was that for. Not that I don’t appreciate the love.” He wrapped me in a tighter hug.
“Oh I can’t hug my dad.” I said against his chest.
“You can, I just thought you teenagers were to good for it.” His laugh rumbled through me.
“We are, so don’t mention this to anyone.” I pointed at him as I left the room. His laughter followed me out.
—
As soon as dinner was over that night Maddie grabbed my hand pulling me towards the slytherin common room. She didn’t let go of me until we were in her room. I flopped down on the bed. I pulled myself up until I was leaning on the pillows. She laid down next to me.
“Now spill Cromwell!” She said. I recited everything. I left out the part with that guy owing Fred and George money.
“Wow!” She said, “I would have folded so quickly. That’s so hot.”
I gave her a sideways look. “Yeah sure he’s hot but he’s also so…” I gustered with my hands, “ frustrating. Nobody drives me crazy like him.” I let out a sigh.
She laughed, “I know it’s funny to watch.”
I shot her a glare. “What do you think I should do?”
She messed with her hair. “I think you should be with Fred. It’s not fair to Lucian, you don’t love him or really want to be with him. If you can't be with Fred then at least break up with Lucian.”
“I was going to, this week actually.” Then I sighed and said quietly, “I’m afraid of falling in love with him.” I stared down at my hand.
“So what if you do? You might be together forever and you might not. It could end in heartbreak or it could not. You’ll never know if you don’t take that leap.” She said. I looked up at her. “If he does break your heart I’ll break his back... With a crowbar.”
I busted out laughing. “Ok I get it. I’ll take that leap.”
She nodded to herself satisfied.
“Besides you’ll always have me forever.”
—
I dreaded breaking up with Lucian. My anxiety got the better of me every time I tried. It wasn’t until right before my Occlumency lesson that I was able to do it. He was walking up from what I assume the Slytherin common room. He smiled wide when he saw me.
My gut twisted. His smile dropped. I pulled him to the side.
“I’m so sorry luican, I can’t be with you anymore.” I said it outright. Rip that bandaid right off. He sucked in a breath.
“Why?” He let out.
“I love you just not in a romantic way. I’ve been hoping the feelings would develop. They haven’t and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let it go on this long. I think we are better as friends.” I looked up at him.
He bit his lip and turned his head away from me. I fought the urge to hug him. The last thing he probably wanted was my comfort. He looked back at me. He opened his mouth before quickly shutting it again.
“I think I need some time alone.” He said, looking away. I nodded my head.
“Of course, good bye Lucian.” I turned heading to the potions classroom.
I am a terrible person. I didn’t deserve to be with anyone.
—
Snape stood directly in front of me. I sat writing notes as he explained the basics of occlumency and legilimency.
Everyone can practice occlumency but not everyone can do legilimency. We would be focusing on occlumency today.
“You want to shut down your emotions. Think of it as locking them into a chest inside your mind. Build up the walls around your mind. Maybe you might be good enough to keep those in place.” He pulled out his wand aiming towards my head.
I closed my eyes, focusing on locking my emotions away. Then Snape was in my mind. It was incredibly painful. I felt his magic assaulting my mind. I quickly pushed him to a random memory that meant nothing. I build walls around the rest of my mind. Or it felt more like I casted protago around my mind. I felt him trying to find anything else. He then pushed harder with his magic.
It was so painful to hold. He broke through but I don’t know how long it took. Then he was gone. I opened my eyes. The light hurt my eyes. I blinked through the pain. My head was pounding and I was shaking. I focused on Snape. He, like me was covered in sweat.
“You're a natural Miss cromwell. With practice I don’t think anyone will be able to access your mind. We are done for today. I will expect you back here next Saturday. We start legilimency.” He had gotten up and was going through some potions while he spoke.
He handed me a bike with green liquid. I looked at it before taking the top off, I wafted it towards me before drinking it. He raised his eyebrows at me.
“What if that was poison?” He asked.
“It’s wiggenweld potion professor. It’s very distinct in its color. Dittany essence makes the swirling shimmer you see. It also has a very subtle smell, but if you know what you're looking for you can smell the horklump juice.” My headache cleared as the potion took hold over my body.
Snape smiled lightly. “It’s always good to know when a student actually pays attention to my class.” He turned and put stuff away.
“Of course it’s a very important class. Anyways thank you for helping me professor. I’ll see you in class.” I stood up and my legs wobbled but I made it out of the room.
—
I made my way to hogsmeade alone. The walk up gave me some time to think. I breathed in the crisp air. Feeling myself relax completely. Then I heard a snap come from the forbidden forest. I turn and stare into the woods. I pulled out my wand and looked into the darkened trees.
I turned and started walking again. I clutched my wand. This is the closest the path took you towards the forest. I start walking away. When I hear the rustling again. My muscles lock up and I look back at the trees. The wind howls through them. I know what lurks in those woods, my brain goes through the worst options.
When a puffskien rolls out of the woods I nearly jump out of my skin before busting out laughing. It looks at me with big questioning eyes. They are far to trusting. I get on my knees and pet it.
“Not a big scary monster are you?” It just purrs lightly. “Not everything is a monster, god I’m so paranoid and now I’m talking to myself.” I shake my head.
I get up and walk away. The woods swaying behind me. I make it to hogsmeade and head towards the three broomsticks, I’m meeting Maddie there.
I enter the building and look around for her. I don’t see her so I order two butterbeers and find a seat for us. I pull out some homework and start working on it.
“Expecting someone?” I hear a familiar voice say down to me. I look up meeting Lucian’s gaze. He’s glaring slightly down at the two butterbeers. L
“Yes, Maddie.” I motion for him to sit with me. He does. He seems to relax.
“Oh, um Audrey I wanted to ask you…” he sits and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Go ahead Lucian. We are still friends, I hope.” I place my quill down.
“Did you break up with me to be with him. I just gotta know. Or did I do something wrong. I can stop thinking, that I did something wrong.” I start shaking my head and place my hand on his across the table.
“No, no. Lucian you didn’t do anything wrong. Some people just aren’t meant for each other romantically. I love you, I really do. I know you will find that girl for you.” He lets me take his hand.
“And who are you meant for?” He looks at me with questioning eyes.
“I don’t know, we are still young and have all the time in the world. Heartbreaks are apart of the journey. I wouldn’t take back the time we spent together, Lucian.” I say and run my thumb over his.
He chuckles and sits back. “When did you become so wise?”
I laugh with him. “A lot of self reflection recently.”
Maddie runs up and plops down in the seat next to me.
“Sorry I’m late.” She looks between Lucian and I then down at our hands. “Oh am I interrupting something?”
I pull my hand out of his and slid her the butterbeer. But it’s Lucian who answered, “no I was actually just stopping for a chat, now I’ve got to go. Thank you Audrey. I’ll see you around.” He gets up and waves as he leaves.
Maddie turns towards me. “So you broke up with him I take it.”
I groan and bury my head in my hands. “Yes and he was so sweet about it. I feel like such a bad person. I don’t deserve anyone.”
She rubbed my back. “No, just human, like the rest of us.”
I rub my eyes. “Well in other news. I heard Seamus and Dean blew up the charms classroom earlier.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yeah they did, spell gone wrong. and Seamus is the one who caught everything on fire. Flitwick was pretty pissed off. Luckily we all practiced with some water charms before so everything was already wet. No harm done.”
I snorted and drank more of my butterbeer. “That guy needs to quit blowing shit up.”
“You must admit it’s very funny.” She pointed at me.
“It is very funny. But the kid has a problem. Anyways, what are we doing this summer?”
She pulled out a letter and handed it to me. I read it and looked up at her.
“They can’t be serious. First they said they wanted you to stay away now they say they are taking you with them on their vacation? How long?” I stare at the letter angrily. She lets out a heavy sigh.
“Deadly I’m afraid. Also the whole summer it appears.”
I sit back in my chair. “Well you better owl to me everyday. I’ll fly over and beat their asses if they try anything.” I finish my drink.
“I know you would but better to not provoke them. One more year and I’ll be away from them forever.” She says getting up. I join her and we walk out of the three broomsticks. We walk up the path.
“We can travel together wondering the world. Maybe we can discover something new for the wizarding world. I want to make it a better place.”
I say, my eyes light up at the thought. I think of all the good we can do. We continue to walk around hogsmeade talking and planning our lives. We make up future husbands and jobs. We imagine our houses. We can do anything as long as we are friends. Our future looks bright, we have everything planned.