Sirius' Birthday Bash
Friday, 3rd November 1978
Sirius Black's birthday conveniently falls on the first Friday of November that year. It's been four months since they've graduated and there are days when Hogwarts feels like a distant memory. Mary's been working at St Mungo's for long enough to know that this job wasn't what she'd expected it to be. Perhaps she was a bit naive when she expected that she would be saving lives left and right and actually making a difference. Instead, there's a lot more paperwork than she expected and she spends more time doing inventory than she does administering potions. She does her fair share of healing, but it's mostly just minor stuff, assisting other healers when they need an extra hand or simple healing spells that she's done plenty of times at the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts.
She also learns time and time again that there's a limit to what they can do.
Mary sees less and less of Williams and Davies these days. They're always assigned to different wards and even when they're at Janus Thickey together, they barely cross paths aside from stocking up inventory from the small room hidden at the end of long hall of beds.
It's not like she isn't passionate about what she does, but eventually, there are times when it feels like work takes a bit of a toll. When that happens, she tries to remember why she joined this profession in this first place. The three of them try to meet up once a month, which they've managed to do so far for the first three months. They go out for drinks and dinner. It's simple, but it's an easy way to let loose after a long day at work.
By the time Sirius' birthday rolls around in November, it's an indication that they need to go all out. Mary barely sees Marlene even though they're living together and according to Black, it feels like they haven't thrown a proper party in ages (technically, it's just been three months but who's counting). It's been a while since they threw a proper "Marauders' Bash", as Sirius so eloquently put it after a few beers in him. Remus tells him that it sounds stupid and Sirius pretends to be offended.
When Sirius stubbornly declares that he's going to host one of those in the cosy flat he shares with Remus, Mary is skeptical. They all are. She sees the exasperated look on Remus' face when Sirius suggests it and she knows that the other boy isn't exactly thrilled about the concept of having what would feel like the entirety of the Gryffindor graduating class of 1978 and more in their one-bedroom flat. Mary thinks that Liam's flat is bigger than theirs but she's not about to offer up their place which would come with the mandatory clean up afterwards.
So they all go along with Sirius' plan and Mary knows it's going to be a disaster trying to fit thirty or something people into their tiny flat. She wonders if there's a spell for that. There probably is but she hasn't bothered to do the research.
When Mary, Marlene and Dorcas arrive early each carrying a bottle of champagne and four six-pack muggle beer between them, Sirius jumps up and slobbers them with kisses and basically tackles them to the floor. Marlene becomes the main victim in his attempt to express his graciousness towards the three of them. Mary laughs as the two of them struggle on the floor in what appears to be a poorly refereed wrestling match with James refereeing it like it's quidditch. Everything's quidditch to him and Dorcas makes a light-hearted joke about how Black can have Marlene considering how tangled up they are. Remus pretends to be offended and Marlene feigns heartbreak at Dorcas' abandonment. Remus drags Dorcas away into the kitchen for a spliff and makes a pointed comment about "leaving their lovers".
It's been two months since Dorcas joined the Order. Mary watches how the other girl's much more at ease when it comes to James Potter and his little gang, which has always felt like an exclusive little club from the outside. Back when her and Marlene and Lily hadn't been a part of it yet. She watches as Dorcas grows to be more comfortable around them day by day and how she no longer feels the need to be hovering a few feet away like she did back during Mary's birthday.
Lily's wrapped in James' arms and Mary realises that she has to be responsible one before the party starts. Maybe it's already started, she's not exactly sure. She takes it upon herself to cast a few Muffliato's around the flat so Remus and Sirius don't get kicked out for being a nuisance and she also makes sure that there's enough room in the living room for the guests that are due to arrive. She sends a few of Remus and Sirius' things into their bedroom, the only room in the flat that's supposed to be off limits for the party.
Mary's not sure who they've invited, but she supposes that Sirius'll probably invite people they've made friends with in the Order and Mary hopes it's not too hard to blend in.
During the party, she sees a few familiar faces. She hasn't seen Frank Longbottom in ages and makes her way across the room to greet him. She's introduced to Alice, his wife, and her smile's infectious as she leans in for a hug. Mary pretends not to notice when Alice asks Frank whether she's part of the Order once she turns around. She doesn't need another reminder how she's the odd man out, or more precisely, the odd woman out and it starts to feel like a party exclusively for Order members than a celebration for Sirius' birthday. She sees Benjy Fenwick, another member of the Gryffindor graduating class of 1978, and greets him with a hug.
Black and Potter use every spare moment to point out how wonderful muggle beer is, like they haven't gotten drunk on it plenty of times by now. They used to sneak cases into their dormitory which came in handy for their Gryffindor common room parties. She wonders if Peter is sulking because he hasn't moved from his spot next to the sofa for the past half hour but she's not sober enough to want to go check up on him. He's always pouting about one thing or another these days.
Dorcas has that faraway look in her eyes and so does Remus. She watches Black and Potter become engaged in some stupid made-up game and she can't tell what the rules are from afar but she supposes that the two boys can't either. She realises Lily's staring at her boyfriend from the sofa with a loving look in her eyes and when they meet Mary's, Lily smiles sheepishly as she blushes.
Mary imagines what it would feel to love someone as much as Lily and James love each other. She catches Remus staring at his boyfriend with that same look on his face from across the room where the record player's at and he's put on yet another Bowie album because it is Sirius' birthday and Mary can't help but think that happiness suits him really well.
The room starts to feel too warm as the guests arrive one by one. She's all too aware of the bodies pressed against one another and she makes her way back towards the sofa where she squeezes herself in next to Lily. Marlene and Dorcas are talking and she wonders whether what they're doing can be passed for being platonic. Maybe it doesn't really matter when everyone's going to end up plastered tonight. She thinks it's just a matter of time before the two of them disappear somewhere private.
Mary drinks her beer and realises that there are a lot of familiar faces. It makes her all too wary of the fact a lot of people she knows, or knows of has joined the Order.
There's the infamous Prewett twins and they look a lot more ragged than their Hogwarts days. But she supposes that's to be expected. They graduated what, four, five years ago? Mary can't remember but she assumes that's the amount of time they've been part of the war effort.
Then there's Benjy, who she used to think was the heart of the Gryffindor quidditch team along with James and she's always thought that he resembles James a bit in his demeanour. She's scared of what the war will do to them, if it'll take that away from them. There's Frank who graduated some three years before them so he can't be more than twenty-one if she's doing the math right. The Prewett twins' are four years ahead of them, not like twenty-two's much older, for them to be making sacrifices like this in still in their early twenties and then there's Lily and Marlene and Remus and Sirius and Peter who are barely old enough to drink...
Her thoughts are interrupted by the sight of a familiar face walking into the apartment. She catches the back of her head as she walks in and when Frank calls out for her, she watches as Emmeline turns around to the sound of his voice.
Emmeline Vance is here.
Her hair's even shorter than when Mary last saw her, which was some two months ago, if she's remembering it correctly. Emmeline walks into the flat and she's intercepted by Frank and Benjy immediately as she does. Mary can't help the way her eyes unconsciously follow as Emmeline moves across the room to greet them, her gaze unwavering. Emmeline hasn't seemed to notice her yet.
Mary knows enough to know that Emmeline wasn't particularly close with Sirius and his friends during their time at Hogwarts unlike Benjy was, and there's only one reason why she'd be here, chatting away with Frank and Benjy like they're in some sort of secret club, which she supposes they are, if her suspicions prove true. It doesn't help that she knows for a fact that Benjy's part of the Order and he's training to be an Auror, alongside with Frank as his mentor. If Emmeline's an Auror and she's friends with Benjy and Frank, it means...
It doesn't mean anything, the voice at the back of her head whispers. But then again, it does nothing to push away that sinking feeling she has. Maybe she had been hoping that there was another reason that Emmeline's on the guest list, aside from the obvious one.
Mary takes another shot of firewhisky - from James' glass and flashes an exaggerated, loving smile at James and he shakes her head helplessly. She's not sure who brought the firewhisky but Lily levitates the bottle and refills her boyfriend's cup and he leans down to kiss her. It lasts for a while before Peter groans and gets up to avoid having to look at them being disgustingly adorable.
There's too many people in the room right now but she knows if it were just the small group of them, Sirius would probably stick his tongue down Remus' throat as a protest against James and Lily's constant and public display of affection. Marlene and Dorcas would probably do the same - again, if it were just the small group of them. She's never pegged Marlene for someone who likes PDA but over the past month, she's realised that it's just a matter of who she's with. Whether she feels safe enough.
When Black declares that they've ran out of beers and stares at his boyfriend with those puppy dog eyes, Mary volunteers to help Remus out in the kitchen where they've managed to miraculously enchant the fridge earlier so that it would store all the muggle beer they bought. Mary made a note to remember the spell so she could enchant her own fridge when she got back to their flat. They weren't particularly meticulous when it came to figuring out who should buy what and they ended up with more beer than they could possibly drink in one night. It'll probably hold them until the next party so she supposes that's a good thing.
Mary and Remus retrieve yet another six pack carefully from the enchanted fridge and the kitchen smells strongly of weed. If Mary had blinked she would have missed Remus' flick of his hand and she barely hears it as he mutters a spell and the window cracks open further. She's not sober enough to ask where Lupin learned wandless magic.
She sees Emmeline when she exits the kitchen and their eyes meet momentarily. Mary mouths hi and Emmeline gives her a little wave in response. Mary hopes it doesn't show on her face that she wishes for entirely different reasons that Emmeline wasn't there. It's not like she doesn't want to see Emmeline, maybe just the complete opposite.
Mary watches as Emmeline turns back to her friends and she does the same. Emmeline doesn't try to talk to her and Mary's not sure why but it unsettles her a little bit. Maybe she thought that she would.
Maybe she hoped that she would.
It's not like they ever had plans to keep in touch after Hogwarts anyway, so why should her presence at Sirius' party and the implications of it bother her so much?
Later that night, she finds herself on the sofa with Lily, debating over potions of all things. Maybe she's not as drunk as she thinks because they seem to be having a rather organised debate though it could also easily be the fact that Lily's just as drunk as her.
When Lily calls out for Emmeline to settle the debate, Mary shifts her head to see the other girl walking towards them. They continue on with the conversation, and it's mostly Lily and Emmeline talking now because she's starting to become aware of the fact that Emmeline's thigh is pressed against hers on the sofa.
Oh.
Her mind drifts to memories of them back at Hogwarts.
There were only a handful of students that continued with Astronomy for their NEWTs and Emmeline was the one she usually partnered up with for assignments. This inevitably meant spending some nights together when they were required to document their observations on their respective star charts, and well, she supposed spending the night under the stars with someone else made you friends at the very least. It helped that she'd always thought of Em as a great conversationalist, and a great listener, and time passed by quickly despite the rather tedious nature of their work, their gaze constantly focused on the view of the night sky from their telescopes. Still, they never talked much outside of class, aside from small talk and polite greetings whenever they bumped into each other in the corridors of Hogwarts. After all, they had been in different houses and that was the way things just worked back then. They were casual acquaintances, that's all.
Now that they've graduated, she supposes it doesn't matter anymore, that they could be friends, if only Emmeline weren't...
Mary downs another shot because she doesn't really understand why she cares so much.
After a while, she sees Alice and Frank getting their coats from across the room. They're about to leave and she sees Alice mouth something to Emmeline. Emmeline shakes her head and Alice and Frank leave after saying goodbye to everyone which takes a considerable amount of time given the number of people in the flat.
The Prewett twins leave shortly thereafter and they leave with huge smiles on their faces and Mary thinks it makes them look younger. They look more like how Mary remembers them from their Hogwarts days than two boys who have weathered the storm for the past few years.
It's one in the morning and there aren't a lot of people left. Mary feels like she's drifting a bit. Things took a turn when she got handed a few more shots of firewhisky and the effects of it means she's not completely aware of her surroundings. She knows they talk about quidditch for a bit, or mostly their dislike of the quidditch fever that has plagued their friends. Marlene sits, or more actually, gets dragged over to the sofa and Mary and Emmeline get squeezed in tighter. The conversation goes on and Mary's less and less lucid by the minute.
Maybe it's the alcohol. Maybe it's just the way Emmeline feels pressed up next to her. Maybe she doesn't really need the liquid courage. Maybe she's just tired. The room spins if she opens up her eyes so she closes them and the conversation fades in her ears. Mary leans her head on Emmeline's shoulders and waits for the other girl to push her away but she doesn't. It's been a while since she had company. She's not sure how long it's been. She thinks that the last time she's been kissed was Pippa and that feels like another lifetime ago. Turns out, having a full time job didn't leave much room for socialising, not when the rest of her friends were too busy fighting a war.
So she's missed this, even in her drunken state. Especially in her drunken state. She thinks Emmeline wouldn't mind because they're old friends and she's starting to get dizzy so she needs an anchor even if it's Emmeline's shoulder. She wants it to be Emmeline's shoulder. She knows that she must have dozed off for a bit like this because the next thing she remembers is Emmeline nudging her awake. By that time, Lily's no longer on the sofa's and despite the extra empty space, Mary's only curled up closer to Emmeline.
She doesn't want to move. Emmeline's body is warm and it feels familiar. It feels safe in a way. She keeps her eyes closed and hopes Em won't wake her as she shifts and leans closer, her hand resting on Emmeline's thigh. She thinks the other girl'll push her away if she minds. She vaguely registers Emmeline's voice talking to her. She knows Marlene'll probably wake her when it's time to leave and even if she doesn't, it's not like Remus and Sirius are going to kick her out. So she refuses to open her eyes and continues to be curled up against Emmeline side, hoping the other girl will let her stay like this just for a second longer. She's not sure if she's sobering up or if she's still drunk. She just wants to stay like this.
"Oi, sleeping beauty. D' you need some help getting home, or anything."
Mary yawns as she tries sits up straight. Her eyes are blurry but Marlene and Dorcas are still out of sight. She wonders whether the two of them's made good use of Remus and Sirius' bathroom or their kitchen. She wonders where James and Lily are and where the two hosts are. But their sofa is comfortable enough that Mary's content with waiting for Dorcas and Marlene for just a little longer even though it's already two in the morning and she just wants to crawl into her own bed. She blinks and waits for the room to come into focus. She also realises she sat up too quickly and waits for the wave of nausea to pass. She takes deep breaths as she tries to steady herself.
Emmeline is asking her a question. She tries to remember what it is. Emmeline asked if she needed someone to get her home. Oh.
"Marlene's my roommate. M' just waiting on her and Dorcas." She tries not to mumble as she uses the back of her hand to rub her eyes. She thinks she's starting to sober up. All she feel is tired now. She tries to resist a yawn and fails.
"Oh. Her...and Dorcas?"
Despite her state of mind, Mary still feels that fiery rush of protectiveness rush over her. She's seen the looks people give them when they suspect that they might be more than friends. Still, she knows in some ways they have it easier than Sirius and Remus. If Sirius and Remus did half the things they did in public, they'd probably be beaten to a pulp there and then. Still, it didn't mean she liked any of it. She notices sometimes, when Dorcas distances herself a little bit from Marlene in the aisle of the local grocery store, when a man twice her size walks through with a look in his eyes. She notices the whispers they get when they're at a pub and Marlene's let her guard down because she has a few beers in her. She's since learned to cast notice-me-not charms when they're out like that, but that still doesn't stop the nagging feeling that they're doing something wrong.
It doesn't stop Mary from thinking she should have kept her mouth shut. It isn't her place to say anything despite her low inhibitions and she knows it was a mistake based on Emmeline's response. Still, she gives Emmeline the benefit of the doubt. Because it's Emmeline.
"Yeah. Why? Something to say about it?" Mary studies Emmeline. She supposes that it doesn't matter whether someone's pureblood or muggle born when it comes to prejudicial views. Maybe she judged Emmeline wrong. She thought... nevermind, it doesn't matter what she thought. It's none of her business anyway.
Emmeline shakes her head and she's not sure whether the other girl genuinely doesn't have a problem with it or whether they're all just too tired to pick a fight. She knows she is.
Mary drags her feet up on the sofa and hugs her knees to her chest, leaning sideways to face Emmeline. She doesn't really know what it is about the other girl that makes her curious. But she knows it's dangerous territory, befriending yet another person that's in the Order. But if she's deciding that she wants to steer clear of Emmeline, she needs to know. She needs to hear it from her that she's part of it and that she should stay away because she has enough friends that are putting their lives on the line for "the cause" and she doesn't need one more. It just isn't worth it, giving herself more reasons for heartbreak.
"How are you friends with Sirius?" Mary asks carefully.
“What?” Emmeline frowns.
“I didn’t know you were friends.” She tries really hard to keep her tone casual, hoping she's convincing the other girl. She thinks she isn't. After all, Emmeline's a Ravenclaw. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Apologies for neglecting to send you advance notice.”
Mary tries not to scoff. “You know what I mean.” She nudges Emmeline's shoulder in an attempt to come off as playful. Once again, she thinks it probably doesn't work. But whatever it takes to get the truth out from Emmeline.
“I dunno. Benjy’s friends with him, I guess, and I’m friends with Benjy, so…friends by association, I suppose.”
“By association,” she echoes and she understands everything left unsaid in those two words. Benjy's an Auror-in-training with the Order and that means Em's...
Dorcas and Marlene choose that exact moment to re-appear. Marlene seems on the verge of collapsing, leaning against Dorcas’ shoulder. “C’mon, if we don’t get her home soon she’ll be sick all over the carpet.”
“I should get going, too.” Em excuses herself, and Mary keeps her eyes fixed on her. Eventually, she moves to help Dorcas with Marlene. She's tired and she's still reeling from the effects of the alcohol, even though she's sobering up now. She got what she needed out of the other girl. A confirmation of sorts.
“See you around, Emmeline. Take care.”
That's about all she can muster and it's her own version of goodbye as she tries to put Emmeline out of her head.