“AGHH”
Hermes bolted upright in bed, the terrified scream snapping him awake. He blearily looked around his dark bedroom. Leaning over, he felt on the other side of the bed to find it empty.
“AGHHH”
He jumped out of bed, clumsily grabbing his wand off his nightstand. Quickly, he made his way out of his bedroom, rushing into the kitchen. Standing there was his redheaded wife in her pajamas and robe, her hair messily tied up in a bun at the back of her head. She was staring down in horror at quite a large spider on the floor in front of her. Hermes couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped him, alerting Ronnie of his presence.
“What the hell are you doing? Don’t just stand there, GET IT!” She exclaimed frantically, backing up into the counter. Hermes smiled, summoning a glass with the flick of his wand. He walked in front of Ronnie, who grabbed onto his shoulders tightly.
“I can’t really get it if you're holding on to me like that.” Hermes said in amusement.
Ronnie glared at him, but let go of his shoulders.
Hermes slowly approached the spider, hovering over it with the cup. It suddenly decided to bolt and ran towards them, crawling between their legs. Ronnie let out a horrified shriek, using Hermes’ shoulders to jump onto the counter with surprising agility. She crouched on top of the counter, grabbing onto his head tightly, effectively blinding him. Hermes winced at her tight grip, trying to avoid stepping on the spider while keeping his balance.
“KILL IT!” Ronnie shrieked, smacking him in the head.
He groaned softly, reaching up to find her hand.
“Ronnie, Love, just grab on to my neck. I’ll carry you over, alright.” Hermes said as soothingly as he could.
Ronnie immediately hopped onto his back with more force than Hermes was anticipating. He shot forward and reached out blindly to steady himself, his vision still obscured by Ronnie's hands.
“Please take your hands off my eyes.” Hermes said calmly.
Ronnie moved her arms from around his head to his neck, lowering her closer to the floor. She grabbed tighter around his neck, trying to hoist her long legs as high as possible. Hermes grimaced at the grip on his neck, briefly considering telling her to grab back onto his head. He’d rather breathe than see. He carried her over to the island in the middle of the kitchen, setting her down on top. She backed up as far as she could from the other counter, peering at it warily.
Hermes crouched down on the floor. He stuck his hand under the counter, feeling blindly for the spider. His finger brushed something fuzzy, and the spider shot out from under the counter. Ronnie let out a little squeak. Hermes picked up his cup. He used his hand to corner the spider and slammed the cup over it.
“Did you get it?” Ronnie asked nervously, not moving from her spot on the counter.
“Yeah.” Hermes breathed, lifting the cup slightly, so the spider would crawl onto his hand. He carefully placed the cup on top of his hand.
“Look.” Hermes grinned, bringing his hand towards Ronnie.
Ronnie visibly recoiled and swatted at his shoulder.
“Just get rid of it!” She exclaimed.
Hermes brought the spider to the front yard, setting it free a good distance from the house. When he got back, Ronnie had gotten off the counter.
“All gone.” Hermes smirked.
“You're welcome, by the way.” He gave a little bow.
“Oh, fearless knight, thank you ever so much for your valiant efforts in ridding our humble abode of that terrifying arachnid,” Ronnie exclaimed, her eyes wide with mock appreciation.
Hermes grinned and pulled her to him.
“Is that it?”
Ronnie rolled her eyes and pecked him on the lips.
“And I really appreciate it” she nodded.
Hermes kissed her again. They pulled apart, and he looked past her, his eyes suddenly widening.
“What is it?” Ronnie asked, concerned.
“Spider!” He exclaimed, backing away.
Ronnie’s eyes filled with terror, and she turned around, looking frantically for the supposed arachnid. But her search was broken with stifled laughter. She whipped around, glaring at her wheezing husband.
“You git!” She yelled, running towards him.
Hermes' eyes widened, and he sprinted away at full speed, laughing all the way.