the plan
The next morning, the weight in my chest hasn’t lifted.
I sit cross-legged on my bed, my fingers twisting the hem of my sleeve. Jude and Taryn are here, sprawled across my room like they belong here—as they always have. But today, I feel apart from them, distant, like I’m watching from the outside.
I didn’t plan on telling them. I thought I could bury it, pretend it doesn’t matter. But the words won’t stop echoing in my head.
So I tell them. Both her and Taryn, I need someone to trust, to talk to right now.
I don’t embellish, don’t add anything extra. I just lay out what I heard, piece by piece, the sharp edges of their laughter still cutting through me.
By the time I finish, Jude looks like she’s ready to murder someone. Her hands are clenched into fists, jaw tight, barely holding back her fury.
“That—” She cuts herself off, exhaling sharply. “That bastard.”
Taryn, sitting on the floor near my dresser, looks more hesitant. Her brows knit together, and she presses her lips into a thin line.
“That’s... awful” she says softly. “I’m sorry, Lili.”
I nod, though the lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow.
“Yeah.”
Jude shakes her head, still seething.
“And you just stood there listening to them?”
I flinch.
“I didn’t mean to” I say defensively.
“I was walking by. I heard my name, and....I don’t know, I froze.”
Jude mutters something under her breath, something violent, before crossing her arms.
“I don’t get it. He acts like he's interested in you and then like you don’t exist half the time, and then when someone mentions you, he’s—what? Too disgusted to even think about it? Who the hell does he think he is?”
I let out a humorless laugh.
“Prince Cardan Greenbriar. Isn’t that enough?”
Jude scowls. “Not to me.”
Taryn sighs, playing with the edge of my rug.
“I don’t think he meant it like that.”
Jude snaps her attention toward her.
“Oh? How did he mean it, then?”
Taryn shifts, looking unsure.
“Maybe he just didn’t want to seem weak in front of his friends. Maybe he didn’t want to give them anything to use against him.”
“Oh please. This is Cardan we're talking about.” Jude snaps
I shake my head.
“Taryn, he sounded like he meant it.” I swallow hard.
“Like the very thought of it was... repulsive.”
Taryn opens her mouth like she wants to say something, but stops herself.
Jude exhales sharply, pacing my room.
“So what? We’re supposed to just let him talk like that?”
“What else am I supposed to do? It's not like I can do anything”
I mutter, rubbing my temples.
Jude turns to me, her expression softening just a fraction.
“Lili, I know you're against vengeance, but you can’t let him get away with treating you like that.”
I meet her gaze, something bitter curling in my stomach.
“What exactly do you want me to do, Jude? He's a prince and I'm a powerless, low human in everyone's eyes.”
She doesn’t have an answer for that.
Taryn finally speaks again, voice quieter than before.
“Are you... okay now?”
I hesitate. Of course I'm not.
“I don’t know.”
Jude sits beside me on the bed, nudging my knee with hers.
“Well, I do. And I’m telling you, you deserve better than that.”
Taryn nods, offering a small, hesitant smile.
“You really do.”
The room falls silent for a moment, the weight of the conversation settling over us. Then Jude leans forward, her eyes glinting with something dangerous. She starts pacing again through the room as if she's analyzing something.
Then, she stops pacing. Her expression shifts—sharper, calculating.
I know this look. It means trouble.
“For how you said things went” she says slowly,
“he doesn’t know you heard them.”
I frown. “And?”
“And that means he still thinks he’s the one in power in this game.”
I let out a dry laugh. “Game? I don’t even want to play, Jude. You know that.”
“But you have to” she insists.
“You can play along from now on. Let him think you’re just a foolish mortal with a stupid crush on him.”
Taryn shakes her head quickly, alarm flashing across her face.
“Jude, no.”
Jude ignores her, stepping closer to me.
“You don’t have to actually like him. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But you can make him think you do. Make him uncomfortable. Make him second-guess himself. He thinks he’s untouchable, but what happens when he starts wondering if you’re the one playing him?”
The thought alone makes my stomach twist. I blink at her, confused.
“Play along? I don’t want anything to do with all this anymore.”
“But you can’t, even if you want to” she says, her voice fierce.
“You can’t just walk away from this. You’re already in it. So why not play his game? Be smarter than him.” Her gaze darkens. “Be worse.”
I stare at her, my stomach churning. The idea of playing along makes me feel sick at the moment.
“I can’t do that” I say quietly.
Taryn stands up abruptly. “Jude, stop.”
Jude rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on, Taryn.”
Taryn crosses her arms.
“No. This is a terrible idea. She doesn't have to do anything. Playing games with Cardan, with any of them, it’s dangerous. She could get hurt.”
I shake my head, feeling caught between them.
“I don’t even know if I could do something like that.”
Jude scoffs. “You could. And I could help you.”
Taryn looks at me, her expression full of concern.
“Lili, don’t let her push you into something that’ll only make things worse for you.”
Jude turns to her, her expression sharp.
“And what’s the alternative? Let all of them keep treating her like she’s nothing? Let him get away with it?”
Taryn shakes her head.
“No, but there has to be another way. Something that doesn’t involve risking everything.”
then she looks at me.
“Lili, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be like them.”
I look between them, torn. Jude’s right. But Taryn’s right too. I don’t want to become like them, cold and calculating, always looking for the next move.
I press my fingers to my temples. My mind is a storm of thoughts, but mostly, I just feel tired.
“I don’t know” I admit, voice quiet.
“I don’t know what to do”
Jude studies me for a moment, then sighs.
“You know what? Just… forget about it.”
I nod, but I’m not sure I will.
I swallow hard as I glance at the crowd gathered for the riddle competition. The air is thick with hushed whispers and veiled glances, and I know—I know—most of them are directed at me.
Still, I stand tall, chin lifted. I smoothed out every wrinkle of my dress before stepping out of the carriage, made sure my hair was just right, that my posture betrayed none of my nerves. I look presentable, respectable, like their words don’t weigh on me.
Maybe if I do it well enough, I’ll believe it too.
Jude had come to my house earlier so we could get ready together. Taryn had refused, saying she wanted to prepare alone, and I hadn't argued.
Kiki, of course, had made a show of our entrance, dressed in a stunning light blue gown that matches mine.
"Everyone needs to see the beauty of both mother and daughter" she said.
I never know if she means those things or if she just likes to say them.
The grand hall is alive with color and movement, fae nobles mingling in their finest attire, their voices a low hum of conversation and occasional bursts of laughter. I stand near the entrance, my hands clasped tightly in front of me, trying to steady my breathing. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be surrounded by so many judgmental eyes, watching my every move, waiting for me to slip up so they can laugh. But refusing an official invitation from a member of the royal family isn’t an option, not if I want to avoid drawing even more attention to myself.
Jude stands beside me in a stunning red dress, her hair styled into elegant twists that resemble horns, adorned with gold accessories that catch the light. She had let me help her with them, adjusting each pin until she was satisfied.
She looks every bit the warrior I know she is, fierce and unyielding.
Now, as we stand before Rhyia, the hostess of tonight’s event, I brace myself. Her smile is polite.
“The riddles have already started” she says.
“You should join the others.”
She gestures to the left.
My stomach clenches. Jude, sensing my hesitation, takes my hand, squeezing it briefly.
“Have fun”
Kiki tells me smiling, brushing her fingers lightly over my hair before stepping away, oblivious to the way my feet feel like they’ve been turned to stone.
Jude doesn’t give me time to hesitate further. She pulls me along, weaving through the crowd toward a quieter corner of the room.
When she turns to face me, her expression is serious.
“We're here now. Have you thought about it?”
I blink at her, confused.
She glances around, then leans in slightly.
“About what I told you. About the…” Her voice lowers. “Game.”
I stiffen, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is eavesdropping. No one seems to be paying us much attention.
“Jude, I already told you, I’m not—”
“I think you are” she interrupts, her eyes sharp.
“You said you were good at pretending, right? Well, that’s all you have to do. Fake it. Pretend.”
I shake my head, my heart pounding.
“It’s not as easy as you think. I can’t just—”
“No? And yet last time, you made it look so easy.”
she says, her eyes narrowing.
“That was different”
I argue, my voice rising slightly before I remember where we are and lower it again.
“I can’t pretend like that in front of everyone.”
“Why not?”
I press my lips together.
“Pretend to actually be in love with Cardan? Do you really think that would stop them from laughing at me? That it wouldn’t just make it worse? They'll think I'm bolder than I should be, and they won't just keep it at talking behind my back about how disgusting I am.”
Jude’s expression doesn’t waver. “No one will come near you.”
I scoff, bitter. “How can you say that?”
Her eyes glint, fierce and determined.
“Because I won’t let that happen.”
I want to believe her, but the thought of what could happen if anything goes wrong, makes me feel sick.
“I don’t know, Jude. It feels...”
Jude sighs, her expression softening.
“I get it. I do. But sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. If you don’t, they’ll keep walking all over you.”
I look down at my hands, my mind racing.
Jude might be right. Maybe I don’t have to play their games, maybe I can change the rules entirely.