tokens
Cardan falls into step beside me, his hands still tucked into the pockets of his jacket, his posture relaxed but his presence anything but. The gardens stretch out before us, endless and enchanting.
"Forced, you say?"
he muses, his voice light.
"And yet, here you are, walking with me under the moonlight. Some might call that romantic."
Romantic. Yes, for people who like each other maybe. Not our situation, though.
I slightly shake my head rolling my eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
"Some might call it a chore."
He laughs, a low, melodic sound that sends a shiver down my spine.
"Someone might also say it's delightful to see you annoyed"
"And being smug is insufferable"
I shoot back, my tone sharp. "Someone might say that as well"
He grins, clearly enjoying himself.
"I'm well aware"
I focus on the path ahead, the iridescent stones glowing faintly under the moonlight. The gardens are beautiful, but their beauty feels almost oppressive here, like a gilded cage. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched, not just by Cardan, but by the gardens themselves, as if they're alive and waiting for something.
The path narrows as we step into a hedge maze, the towering walls of ivy swallowing the moonlight. The air is cool and fragrant. For a while, we walk in silence, with only the quiet rustling of leaves and the soft tread of our footsteps on the grass.
I glance at Cardan, half-expecting him to be bored, but he looks at ease here, hands clasped behind his back, head tilted as he studies the twists and turns ahead. His dark hair falls across his cheekbones, the silver threads in his coat catching the light. He looks every bit the fae prince he is—untouchable, unreadable.
"We could get lost in here"
I muse, trailing my fingers along the ivy.
He hums. "Would you mind terribly?"
I shoot him a look.
"That depends. Would you be so kind and helpful in getting us out, or would you leave me to wander alone until dawn?"
His lips twitch.
"I might enjoy watching you wander in the dark"
I huff. "Of course you would"
He chuckles.
We turn a corner, only to find another identical passage stretching ahead. The air is cool, carrying the scent of crushed grass and something faintly floral. It's peaceful here, in a way I didn't expect.
"Do you always walk this fast, or are you just trying to get away from me?"
I glance at him, my expression carefully neutral.
"Maybe I just enjoy walking"
"Though I must say, you're missing the beauty of the gardens if you rush through them."
he says, quickening his pace to stand next to me
"We're in a maze." I raise one of my eyebrows.
"The most I can miss out in here is the shape of the leaves"
He chuckles, a low, melodic sound.
"Fair enough"
I slow my pace slightly, if only to prove him wrong. I have to admit, the labyrinth is beautiful, the hedges towering above us, their leaves glistening with dew. The moonlight filters through the branches, casting intricate patterns on the ground.
"Do you come here often?" I ask, my tone casual.
He shrugs.
"Occasionally. It's a good place to think. Or to avoid thinking."
Looking at us right now, someone might even think we're good friends.
"And which are you doing now?"
He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"A bit of both, I suppose."
We walk in silence for a few more steps, the tension between us thickening. Then, out of nowhere, Cardan says,
"This reminds me of something."
I arch a brow.
"What? A time you actually got lost in a maze?"
He chuckles.
"Not quite. More like... a moment. One where I was less careful."
The way he says it makes something tighten in my chest.
I glance at him, searching his face.
"Less careful?"
He shrugs.
"Less guarded. More reckless."
His fingers brush a leaf, twisting it between his fingers.
"It's dangerous, isn't it? To let someone see you without guards"
It seems like he's saying it more for himself.
I swallow.
"Some might say it's foolish"
I say, referring to the pun from earlier
His gaze flicks to mine, unreadable.
"And do you think I'm a fool, Lilia?"
I don't answer right away. His eyes show something I've never seen in any fae before... vulnerability.
Does he realise he's letting this be seen right now?
And the truth is, I don't know what to think. He isn't a fool. I think. At least, I don't know the context to determine it.
But what I know is that he has been playing a game with me, and I don't know the rules yet.
Instead, I deflect.
"That depends. Are we lost, Your Highness?"
He smirks.
"Not yet."
We take another turn, and the ivy gives way to an open space, a small clearing in the heart of the labyrinth. Fireflies drift lazily in the air, their glow like scattered stars.
It's beautiful.
And yet, a question lingers in my mind.
Why is he doing this?
He could have found a way out of this courtship. He could have let it die before it even began. But still, here he is. Playing the part.
Or maybe... maybe he's playing me.
He steps forward, his eyes scanning the clearing as if he's searching for something unseen. The glow of the fireflies catches in the sharp cut of his cheekbones, the silver in his coat flashing as he moves. I fold my arms, watching him.
"So?" I prompt.
He turns his head slightly
"So what?"
"So what happened? In this grand, reckless moment of yours?"
For a second, I think he won't answer. Then, without looking at me, he says
"I let someone too close."
The words hang between us, delicate and dangerous.
I don't know why. But I think he's probably thinking of Nicasia... or a lover. Of stolen moments between hedges, of whispered words under moonlight. It shouldn't bother me, but it does somehow.
I shift on my feet. "And?"
He exhales a laugh, quiet and bitter.
"And they used it against me"
I can picture it: him, full of sharp words, but still willing to hand over something softer. Her, taking it, smiling as if it belonged to her. I wonder if she ever thought the same thing about him—that she had given him something she shouldn't have.
I don't know why it makes my stomach tighten.
"Why are you telling me this?"
I ask, my voice sharper than I intended, curious.
He looks at me, his expression unreadable.
"Just making conversation"
I hesitate, eyeing him.
"Yes, but why?"
His smirk is almost lazy. A beat of silence. Then, to my surprise, he lifts his hand, palm up.
"Because I want to see if you'll listen."
I scoff, but I step forward anyway. He doesn't move, doesn't grab me, just waits until I'm close enough that I can see the faint crescent of a scar on his thumb. I don't know why, but I reach for his hand.
He lets me.
Our fingers brush, the contact fleeting, but I feel it everywhere. I swallow against the sudden dryness in my throat.
He watches me with a slow, assessing look, his voice soft when he speaks again.
"What are you doing?"
I force myself to pull away.
What am I doing? Embarassing myself might be the answer. Fun thing is, I don't even know.
"You always act like you like to test others' reactions. I wondered how it was like"
His smirk deepens. "And what test am I failing right now?"
"You think you're failing?"
I don't like the way he's looking at me, like he's trying to figure out the shape of my thoughts. Like he's waiting for me to say something more, to admit something.
I take a step back, exhaling sharply.
"We should keep walking."
He nods as if this amuses him, as if he's won something.
"Lead the way"
he says, and I turn, forcing myself to focus on the path ahead.
We manage to get out of the maze. I notice a hill that rises gently, crowned by a towering Lunara tree, its silver leaves shimmering like liquid moonlight. The tree's branches stretch wide, casting intricate shadows on the ground below.
Not far away, a pond reflects the full moon, its surface rippling faintly in the night breeze. The air is thick with the scent of night-blooming flowers, their petals glowing faintly in the silvery light. It's a place of magic, of beauty.
We climb the hill, the grass soft beneath our feet. From the top, the world feels a bit smaller, even quieter, as if we've stepped into a realm untouched by time.
I look around, enchanted. The moon hangs low in the sky, so close I almost feel like I could reach out and touch it. For a moment, I forget about everything but the beauty of this place.
"Give me your hand"
Cardan says, his voice breaking the silence
I look at him, my guard instantly rising. Does he want to make fun of me for what just happened?
"No.."
I say defensively.
He tilts his head, his expression softening in a way that catches me off guard.
"Give me your hand."
he repeats, his tone quieter, almost gentle. The shift in his demeanor is so unexpected that I hesitate.
Cautiously, I offer him my hand.
His fingers brush mine as he presses something small and square into my palm. The touch is fleeting, almost irrelevant, but it still sends a shiver down my spine.
I look down, revealing a delicate box, its surface smooth and cool to the touch. I glance at Cardan, confused, but he nods, his dark eyes urging me to open it.
I do, and inside lies a pendant.
It's exquisite. A thin, dark mesh with smooth edges, adorned with black and white gems that catch the moonlight. The pendant is shaped like a coiled snake, its emerald green eye glinting with an almost lifelike intensity. It's beautiful, elegant.
It reminds me of him.
"Did you make this?"
I ask, tracing the shape of the snake with my index finger. It's lighter than it looks, the craftsmanship impeccable.
"I had it specially made as a token time ago"
his voice casual but with an undercurrent of something I can't quite place.
I hold his gaze, my mind racing. A courting token. Of course. This necklace was meant for Nicasia, wasn't it? He had it made for her, something to remind his lover of him. No wonder it's so beautiful.
"It's very beautiful" I say
The garden spreads out around us in a tangle of bright petals and silver leaves. The path beneath our feet winds deeper into the undergrowth, where the trees grow taller, their twisted branches swallowing the starlight. The air feels heavier now, charged with unspoken words.
"Tell me, Lilia"
Cardan says, his voice light and careless as he watches me examine the necklace.
"Do you always accept strange gifts from evil men?"
I smile, though it doesn't reach my eyes. Is he referring to himself as evil?
"And do you always hand out strange gifts as if they mean nothing?"
"Who says it means nothing?"
His tone grows more serious, his gaze sharpening.
I look up at him, my fingers still tracing the pendant.
"It's the symbol of my house" he says, his voice low.
"I mean, if I ever had one of my own, that would be the symbol."
He looks at me through narrowed eyes
I realize. I shouldn't have this.
The thought hits me like a wave, and I feel a pang of guilt—or is it something else?
"You should have saved it for her" I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
He seems to sense what I mean and turns away, his jaw tensing. For a moment, he's silent, his gaze fixed on the distant pond. Then he shrugs, his tone dismissive.
"It's just a token"
But it doesn't feel like just a token. Not when he was looking at me like that, not when the air between us feels so heavy with unspoken words. I close the box and hold it out to him.
"Take it back."
He doesn't move "Why?"
"Because it's not mine" I say, my voice firm.
"It wasn't meant for me."
Cardan's face darkens.
"Does it matter?"
I look at him, my heart pounding.
"It matters to me."
I see confusion flickering in his dark eyes.
"What? You don't like it?"
"I'm not referring to that" I say, my voice sharp.
"I would have preferred any object, even a stone, not something designed for another—"
"So what? Just take it"
he interrupts, his tone dismissive.
Then he lets out an exasperated sigh.
"It's hard to understand you humans."
"It's hard to understand me? If only you could just list-"
I hold back a nervous and incredulous laugh. He's not even listening to what I was about to say. If he wants to play games, fine. Let's play.
"Your highness, why are you doing all this? Why are you carrying on with this courtship when you could have easily found any excuse to cancel it?"
He tilts his head.
"Why would I do that?"
"You said that your friends played a prank on you. Very funny, right? The prince and the poor human! The prank was funny while it lasted, though"
I say, my voice bitter.
He looks at me, his expression shifting.
"So you think this is all to make fun of you."
"What other reason would you have for doing it?"
I ask, my voice rising slightly. I look at him, and a lump forms in my throat. I take a breath, trying to steady myself.
"I don't know if your motivation is to really annoy your family, make someone jealous, or just for your own twisted fun... but I don't want to be your pawn. Up until now, I've tried to play along for my parents, because they were excited to see me in an activity that would finally make me feel integrated here. But..."
I take another deep breath, my hands trembling slightly.
"I'm not a funny toy you can play with whenever you like."
Cardan's expression softens, just for a moment.
"I have my reasons"
he says, his voice quieter now.
"I have my reasons for pursuing this"
"And may I know what are those reasons?"
He looks away, his jaw tightening. For a long moment, he says nothing. The silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating.
"Very good."
I say, my voice laced with annoyance.
I reach into the pocket of my dress and pull out the small bag containing the token I had chosen this evening for him—a black opal and purple moonstone ring, simple but elegant. I place it on his chest, my fingers brushing against the fabric of his shirt. He reaches for my hand, but I pull away before he can take it, leaving the bag in his grasp.
"Enjoy your token"
I tell him, my tone cold.
"And don't worry, mine doesn't really have any meaning. It can mean whatever you want it to."
I turn and walk away, my footsteps quick. The moonlight casts long shadows on the path ahead, the garden's beauty now feeling hollow and oppressive. I don't look back, but I can feel his gaze on me, heavy and unrelenting. I don't care. I just want to go home.
As I reach the carriages, I glance over my shoulder. Cardan isn't following me. He's still standing on the hill, his silhouette framed by the moonlight.
The path twists through the gardens, and for once, I wish it were shorter. My breath feels too loud in my ears, my hands curling into fists at my sides.
Why did I let him get under my skin?
I reach the line of carriages, the soft glow of faelight pooling over the cobbled road. A few courtiers mill about, lost in murmured conversation, laughter curling through the air like smoke. None of them spare me a glance. Good. The last thing I want is to explain the burning in my chest.
"Leaving, Miss?"
An imp, the coachman, asks me.
I steel myself. "Yes."
"What about the prince?"
"I don't know" I walk to him and take out of my pocket the box with the necklace, and place it in his hands
"make sure to give this to him later"
The imp looks at it, then nods and goes to place it in a sack, then he looks back to me
"Should we wait for his highness?"
I'm not sure if taking a royal's carriage and leaving him behind is considered a crime. But I'm very tempted right now.
The imp comes closer to me, maybe not sure if I heard his question,
"Miss, should we-" he then looks behind me and stops mid-sentence
I close my eyes briefly before turning. Cardan stands at the edge of the garden, shadows curling around him, half of his face lit by the lantern's glow beside him. The small red velvet bag with my token is still in his hand, fingers curled around it like he's unsure what to do with it.
I was so sure he wasn't following me, and I walked for a while looking for the exit. Did he rush here?
"Take her home" he says to him
The imp acts immediately, opening the carriage door for me.
I turn and walk towards it, but when I'm almost there Cardan is suddenly closer, his fingers catching my wrist—not tightly, not enough to stop me, just enough to make me hesitate.
"Lilia"
My name from his lips is quiet, not a demand, not a question.
I exhale sharply. "Yes?"
He studies me, eyes dark as ink, searching for something I don't know if I want him to find.
For a moment, I feel a pang of something—regret, maybe, or something else I don't want to name. But I push it aside, retracting my arm, climbing into the carriage and slamming the door shut behind me.
Then, with deliberate slowness, he lifts the bag with the ring I gave him and presses it into his coat pocket.
"Do you wish for me to wear it?" he says
It's such a simple question, but it knocks the breath from my lungs.
I scoff, folding my arms to stop the tremor in my hands. I then look at him from the window of the carriage door.
"Do whatever you want, your highness."
The ride home is quiet, the rhythmic clatter of hooves against the gravel the only sound. I lean back against the seat, closing my eyes and trying to steady my breathing.