Chapter 7
The warm autumn sun woke the young woman. She was slow to break free from her sleep. When the young witch did eventually open her eyes, she looked through a large window onto the Forbidden Forest. Irritated, she looked at the enchanted window, her sleep still somewhat clouding her senses. She sat up as if stung. Where the hell was she? This wasn't her room! It had to be Severus' bedroom, because the sheets of the bed still smelled of him. Curious, Octavia looked around, the bed was large, the other side neatly made, the sheets a soft beige colour. Dark wood dominated the room, a small chest of drawers, a wardrobe and a bedside cabinet. As she swung her legs out of bed, her feet touched a fluffy carpet.
The position of the sun promised that it was already late in the morning. She hadn't slept this late for a long time, even with Dreamless sleep she usually woke up in the early hours of the morning and never found her way back to sleep. The last week had been cold deprivation and she had hardly slept at all. She had woken up every few hours, haunted by nightmares of the worst kind. And every night, without exception, it was Severus who woke her, soothed her and stayed with her until she fell asleep again.
A quick shower later, she wandered into the small kitchen of the flat. Since the school year had started, it was easier to avoid Severus, most days she stayed in her room until he left the rooms to go to class and so they only ever met in the late afternoon, just before dinner. Octavia was forced to take part in the evening meal in the great hall, all other meals she ate alone in the small kitchen of the flat. She didn't leave the rooms at any other time either.
While she waited for the water in the kettle to boil, she skimmed the front page of the Prophet. She almost missed the note on the table. ‘We need to talk! Tonight! S.S’ Cursing quietly, she prepared the tea and looked at the breakfast that a house-elf brought every morning. She wasn't hungry. A knot was forming in her stomach now. Actually, Severus already knew too much, but now that she had run out of dreamless sleep, she simply couldn't hide her nightly horrors any longer. And although he had seen the consequences of her nightmares every night for a week and had been there to support her, she had managed to avoid this terrible conversation so far. He had tried to broach the subject a few times, but Octavia had skilfully avoided it every time. Tonight, however, there would be no way out. Fuck! She'd fallen asleep in his arms again yesterday and how damn safe and good that had felt.
The day dragged on painfully. The uncertainty and fear had by now brewed into a rock in her stomach. The new letter from her mother didn't improve this feeling either. ‘Don't disgrace our family! - S. Lestrange’ This simple sentence was not worth the parchment it was written on. Salome Lestrange's words haunted Octavia's every waking moment anyway and her mother's face was often an actor in her nightmares.
Severus Snape went straight back to his quarters at the end of his last lesson. Today he would not allow her to run away. He wanted an explanation now! He needed an explanation now! This couldn't go on! Not only was she hardly sleeping and her nightmares were sapping her strength as well as his, she was also not eating. When he pushed open the door to his flat, the young woman on the sofa flinched violently. His expression was emotionless, but his eyes never left her face as he walked towards the sofa and took a seat next to her.
His gaze fixed on her dark green eyes, he saw the uncertainty. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, probably for the first time since they had married, until Octavia lowered her gaze. ‘Well?’ His voice was quiet, but the demanding undertone was unmistakable. She didn't look up. Her body seemed to sink in even more. ‘Talk to me! What is going on?’ Silence. He stood up and walked up and down the room. Her silence made him angry. He didn't have to do this, he could have ignored her, but he saw her suffering and he wanted to help. He stood up in front of her. ‘Octavia! Answer me! You're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're not talking! What's wrong?’ She didn't look at him and just shrugged her shoulders. ‘Fuck! I found the empty vials this morning! You're taking dreamless sleep! Do you actually think I'm stupid?’ he was shouting by now. His young wife's slender body jerked as if she was expecting a blow, but he still received no answer. ‘Why? I know you're not that stupid. You know that stuff is addictive! You know it's bloody dangerous! Did you really think you could hide it from me?’ He had crouched down in front of her and was staring at her, her gaze avoiding him. Surprisingly gently, he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.
‘How long?’ Tears shimmered in her eyes. ‘Since I was twelve.’ For a moment, Severus thought he had misheard her, her voice was so quiet, so uncertain. ‘What?’ But she had closed her eyes and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Shit. Shit shit shit. Dreamless sleep was a very potent potion and was incredibly addictive. The addiction was not only annoying, but also damn dangerous. Years of consumption had already driven a number of wizards and witches mad. The young woman in front of him had begun to tremble and only now did Snape realise that he was still holding her chin. He paused for a moment and fought down his anger. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he had made a decision. ‘We're going to Poppy's!’ He grabbed her wrist and was surprised that she didn't resist as he led the way to the door of the flat.