Hypocrite
The silence echoed throughout the room, with only the sounds of the clinkering teacups sliding to each person at the wooden table. Severus stared at the antique cup, with no intention of drinking it.
Dumbledore took a sip from his teacup. “Come on now everyone, don’t be so stiff. I arranged this meeting for simple talk with you all. Please, make yourself feel at home,” he said with nothing but kindness in his voice.
With a soft flick of his wand, a plate of chocolate cookies appeared. “Cookies, if anyone would like some.”
Lily was the first to reach out to the cup, sitting patiently in front of her. She raised the cup to her lips, with her trembling fingers. Following suit, James did the same, but he also leaned forward to grab a handful of cookies.
“I see you’re getting more comfortable. Now, we just need a few more people to follow your example,” Dumbledore said with a hint of amusement. “We can’t have a friendly conversation in such thick tension.”
Severus wanted to roll his eyes so far back that he’d be able to see his brain- something no one else seemed to have. Tension or no tension, he would never be able to sit down and have a civil conversation with anyone currently in the room.
The dark haired boy realized everyone else had reached out to their cup. Following the crowd, he also raised his cup with his slender fingers, attentively watching the liquid splash against the cup. Severus looked at the swirling brown liquid in front of him, with an ominous feeling.
His obsidian eyes drifted to Remus’ cup, who was the closest one to him. It looked about the same, not even a trace of difference. He tilted the cup down, and could smell its usual sweet aroma.
Severus put his cup down. He was just being paranoid, since he had lived his previous life on the edge as a spy. Ultimately, he was only sixteen now, with no one constantly trying to plot behind his back. Especially Dumbledore, Hogwarts’ Headmaster, who had no solid reason to poison him.
The incessant chatter between Dumbledore and James was making his head throb. He picked up the cup once again, observing the way it sloshed as he slowly brought it to his lips.
Severus stopped, and his eyebrows furrowed as he realized something. His tea had a slightly thicker consistency, and flowed was different compared to Remus’, but the difference very thin and almost nonexistent.
He’d be a fool to not notice it, since he had been a potion master whose job was to brew potions all day. He could notice whether any liquid was a bit off, and only strived for perfection. It would be shocking if he couldn’t even recognize Veritaserum, since he had brewed it under the commissions of the Ministry of Magic countless times.
Severus was now aware of Dumbledore's passing glances. The old wizard wanted to make sure he drank the drugged tea.
What a bastard.
Severus refused to play his game, and let his hands let go of the cup, watching it crash to the floor with a look of indifference.
“Oops,” said Severus without a hint of remorse, as he noticed everyone’s attention had shifted to him.
Dumbledore’s twinkle in his eyes didn’t disappear, and instead he started bellowing with laughter. “Don’t worry about it, young man. We all make mistakes.”
Severus’ eyes wandered to Lily. “You’re right,” Severus replied icily.
A scorching hatred filled him as he locked eyes with his former love. He once longed to see those familiar eyes full of life again, but now he wanted nothing more but to look away from them. He was reminded of the years he spent sacrificing his life, in the name of love for a girl who valued him as much as a piece of scrap paper. It elicited a feeling of revulsion and bitterness.
Everything Severus had done in his past life was a mistake. His story was written like a tragic novel; born as a mistake, his life’s purpose being a mistake, and ended because of a mistake.
If Severus had a choice again, he’d tread a different path that cut all ties with his former life. He wouldn’t beg like a dog for someone’s affections. He wouldn’t let himself be broken down by the Marauders. He wouldn’t work himself to the bone for validation and acceptance from anyone. He wouldn’t fight in a war that he had no care for. Severus would live his own life, for himself. Far from this cruel past, to be only served as a memory.
Except, it wasn’t just an unobtainable wish for him, he could make it a reality. This time turning phenomenon wasn’t just a hazy lucid dream, but it was reality. He was granted this new life and a new chance to rewrite his regrets and mistakes.
In this life, Severus would live for himself.
Severus would cut the strings that intertwined him with his thirty-eight self. He’ll cut the strings that tied him to his sixteen year old self. He would be a new person, undefined by each life.
For the first time in both timelines, Severus found his true purpose in life.
With his new resolve, he picked up a cookie from the plate, attempting to catch Dumbledore’s attention. His eyes flickered to the old man, who returned the attention.
“So, why exactly are we here?” Severus bluntly inquired after recognizing Dumbledore’s attention was on him.
All eyes fell on the old wizard, anticipating his answer. Everyone else had been wondering the same thing, but was too scared outright to ask.
Dumbledore gave one of his usual smiles. “We’re here for a talk, of course.”
“But what kind of talk exactly?” Remus anxiously asked. “This is a pretty interesting combination of people to have a talk with, that's all,” he added.
“To sort something out.”
The room was once filled with the eerie silence once again.
Dumbledore sighed, looking a bit disappointed. “I’m aware of the problems you all might have against each other-”
“Just against me,” interrupted Severus.
“Well, if you put it that way.” Dumbledore amusedly said. “This has been going on for five years, and it's time to stop. You’re all ready to become full fledged wizards, so it’s about time to stop indulging in these childish games.”
“Take notes, Potter.”
“You should be the one taking notes, Snivellus.”
“I’m not the one ganging up on a singular person. If I did, I wouldn’t have lost so pathetically.”
The veins on James’ forehead were throbbing. “You used a deadly spell on us. You’re the one taking harmless pranks to a whole other level,” he spat.
Severus scoffed. “Getting out of a prank with a few broken bones isn’t very harmless.” His eyes looked up and down James, and noticed the glasses boy didn’t even have a trace of the spell left. “And you seemed to have somehow reversed the curse, so it wasn't deadly.”
“You left with no broken bones this time, yet you broke TWO of my ribs,” Sirius cried, while opening the top of his robes to show the bandages that were wrapped around his chest. “See? It hurts like hell. I have to drink these gross potions because of you.”
“It was self defence. You were the ones throwing spells first.”
“But you didn’t have to go that far,” remarked Remus.
“Well, you didn’t need to corner me at the Forbidden Forest.”
“That’s not the point-”
“The point is you’re all arseholes. Case closed, time to go.”
“SEVERUS, JUST STOP,” screamed Lily all of a sudden, startling the others. “I can't sit back and be silent anymore,” her lip trembling. “What exactly has gotten into you?”
Severus just gawked at her, a bit surprised from her outburst. “What do you mean?”
Lily stood up, pushing her chair back and pointed a finger at him. “You know exactly what I mean, Severus. You’ve changed, and not for the better. You’re straying onto a worse path, following around your housemates who are blood supremacists. You think Potter and his friends are going too far? What about your Slytherin friends, who are the mini spawn of the devil, and harass muggleborns?”
“In my defence I don’t really have other options to have other friends-”
Lily shot him a death glare. “I’m not finished. You slashed out Potter and his friends, leaving them to bleed to their death. If Sirius didn’t have the reverse spell pocketed, he could've died. You even called me a Mudblood, which means you do agree with their bigoted views. If you really cared for me, you would have never even thought about saying that to me.”
Lily took a deep breath, and calmed down. “Severus, I know deep down you’re not a bad person,” said Lily as her eyes softened. “But it’s time for you to also realize your mistakes. I’m here to help you.”
Dumbledore clapped his hands together once she finished her speech. “Well said, Miss Evans,” as his twinkling eyes drifted to Severus, “What do you have to say, young Slytherin?”
Severus was in utter disbelief and shock. “What do I have to say? A lot!” he spat.
He sent a chilling look towards Lily. “Of course I changed, Evans. We’re no longer nine years old, sitting under a willow tree at the park. Nothing is about unicorns and fairies anymore, we’re sixteen for Merlin’s sake. You’re saying I’m on a worse path? Maybe because your fellow Gryffindors do everything to make my life hell, so obviously I want to follow the path they hate.”
Severus' eyes were filled with pure rage as he continued. “Sure, I admit I’m around some bigoted people, but they’re my housemates so what other choices do I have? Filch and his nasty cat? Just because I’m friends with them, doesn’t mean I agree with their views. But I will acknowledge that they do go far, just as much as Potter and his group of idiots.”
Severus whipped his head around and gave a look of contempt towards James. “I slashed him silly, so what? He purposely laid a trap for me, so he could beat me four against one. If they weren’t the ones lying there all bloodied up, it would’ve been me lying there, AGAIN.”
His eyes surveyed the room, and saw the expressions of bewilderment. His racing heart slowed down, and he regained composure. “I did truly care for you Lily. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you a Mudblood when you were just trying to help me. But…” his eyes landed on Sirius and James, “Had those two not humiliated me by having me swing upside down with my underwears exposed to the world, which counts as sexual assault in the muggle world by the way, I would have never said that word.”
Severus’ eyes locked Lily’s once again. “There, I acknowledged my mistakes. But what about you? Don’t act as if you’re so innocent either, Evans,” he said venomously. “You helped Potter and his friends plot against me. If you cared for me, you would have never done that. If you cared for me, you would’ve never abandoned me so easily. If you ever truly cared for me, you would’ve intervened long ago against Potter and Black. I don’t want help from someone like you, a hypocrite who only knows how to acknowledge my wrongdoings but not their own. So how dare you patronize me, while you’re full of sins too?” Severus asked, with only a trace of bitterness and distaste in his voice.
The room was filled with a familiar silence once again. Everyone else in the room was speechless, not knowing what to say. They could look past Severus’ first outburst at Lily, since they thought it was because of his short temper. However, it was clear now that the once obsessed boy truly disliked her, not even showing a third of his previous affections for the girl.
“Nothing to say? That’s what I thought.”
“Severus Snape, enough is enough,” Dumbledore bellowed. “It’s clear that you are incapable of carrying out a civil conversation-”
Severus let out a laugh. “And it’s clear you are incapable as the Headmaster, because who in their right mind would drug their student?
Collective gasps echoed against the walls.
“Drugged?” Remus asked tentatively.
“Yes, drugged. He put Veritaserum in my drink, which is highly illegal. I should report him for that.”
The students looked at Dumbledore, appalled by the information. The Headmaster just shook his head, his eyes still twinkling. “It was allowed by the Ministry of Magic.”
“They let you drug me? The amount of incompetence in this system is appalling.”
Dumbledore shrugged. “They allowed me to use it to investigate the situation that involved the new dangerous spell, Sectumsempra.”
Severus snorted. “You could’ve done that without drugging me.”
“Well, you didn’t want to cooperate before.”
“I’ll cooperate now. I made the spell by accident, and never intended to use it,” Severus said as he stood up from his chair. “Now you have everything you must want to know by now, so let me leave.”
“Everyone here wants you to leave too,” Sirius said darkly.
“That’s great, Black. I’ll leave just like how you left your family.”
Sirius jumped out of his chair, and whipped out his wand. “Say that again,” he growled.
“I’ll leave just like-”
Dumbledore held up his hand, signalling for silence. “That’s enough, boys," said Dumbledore sharply. "I now have the information I needed, and I can see that this conversation is unable to lead to anything other than an argument, so we’ll just end things here.” He pointed towards the door. “Make your way now.”
“Just like that?” Peter piped up for the first time.
“Yes, Wormtail. He’s telling us to get the hell out of here, but nicer,” whispered Remus.
“Oh thank Merlin!”
Peter and Remus were the first to get out of their seats, scurrying their way to the door, wanting to escape the scene as fast as possible.
Severus stared at their back for a second, before following suit. He gave Lily and James who were huddled together, one final look of pure hatred before exiting the room.
This wouldn’t be the end. There were far more things Severus had in mind, and he didn’t plan to go without giving them what they deserved.