Harry Potter has officially lost fucks to give

Chapter 1: The Trial that makes NO sense

Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Author Note: Book and Movie Canon sucks. SO, Canon is not of much importance in this story.

Cedric lives, cause I say so. Umbitch doesn't work at Hogwarts, you'll see why.

(At the Ministry) 

"Alright Harry, I can't go any farther from here. I wish you luck. I must warn you though, the Minister of Magic is a bit, corrupt, but, he can easily be bested at intelligence. For whatever reason, he and his Undersecretary want you expelled from Hogwarts, and your wand snapped. Don't take whatever flack they give you, beat them with that sharp tongue of yours." Arthur Weasley warned Harry. 

Harry thought over Arthur's warning for a moment. "Thank you Mr. Weasley, I won't let your warning go to waste." He said, then headed into the court room. 

(In the Court Room) 

Harry went into the court room, surprised to see the full Wizengamot. Which both confused him, and pissed him off. 

He sat in the chair in the center of the room, and kept in mind what Mr. Weasley said to him. 

"Harry James Potter, Age 15. You are summoned today for using magic outside of school, in front of a Muggle. How do you plea?" Minister Fudge listed off/asked. 

This pisses Harry off more. "I am guilty for using magic outside of school, yes. And in front of a Muggle-" He began to say. 

"Well then I-" Minister Fudge began to cut Harry off mid-sentence, only for Harry to cut off the Minister mid-sentence. 

"But. Your knowledge of the situation is clearly very limited. The muggle in question is my cousin, who has had the knowledge of me having magic, since my 11th birthday. If you were so concerned about the statue of secrecy being broken, you would have looked into who was exposed to seeing me use magic, and you wouldn't have called the full Wizengamot here, for such a minor thing." Harry finished explaining. 

That got some mutters of agreement from a few witches and wizards in the room. 

Fudge's face flushed in embarrassment, and he stumbled over his words. "Y-yes, well. You still used magic outside of school." He said. This got some nods of the head, which made him smug. 

"Yes." Harry said slowly, as if talking to a 3 year old. "Because dementors were trying to suck the soul out of my muggle cousin, as well as tried to suck my soul out. Of course casting the Patronus was necessary." 

"Hem hem." The ugly toad lady in pink chimed in. "It is not possible for dementors to have been in a muggle residence. The Ministry is in control of them." It said. 

Harry gave a deadpanned look. "Yes, I'm aware. As are the hundreds of students that were subjected to nightmare after nightmare, making it incredibly difficult for those hundreds of students to focus on their classes and assignments, because the Minister thought it a great idea to assign them to a school. Rather than send a handful of trained and skilled Aurors, to keep watch. Not to mention, I am aware that the Minister, by technicalities, is responsible for me falling thousands of feet in the air, due to one of those things coming after me, and nearly dying. Had Headmaster Dumbledore not stopped me in time, I would have been a human pancake." He said bluntly. 

"So thanks for that." He added, in heavy sarcasm.  

Fudge and Umbridge paled at this. 

A handful of people had to fight back laughing aloud. 

"Now. I have a question for you all." Harry said. 

Madame Bones perked up at this. Hoping it was about what she thinks it is. 

This had all eyes back on him. "Am I a minor, or emancipated? Think over why I'm asking this." Harry said. 

Fudge and Umbridge paled again. 

Madame Bones smiled liked a mischievous cat. 

Lady Longbottom smirked at this question. 

"I see four people know right off the bat why I asked this question. Two out of the four, pale and practically cowering in their seats. The other two, have a knowing gleam in their eyes. Lady Longbottom, care to share with the class?" Harry said/asked.   

Augusta Longbottom eyes twinkled with glee, at getting to take some idiots down a few notches. "Well, Heir Potter, last year was the Triwizard Tournament. In which your name, a minors name, came out of the Goblet of Fire." She answered. 

"And, Madame Bones. Care to start where the lovely Lady Longbottom left off?" Harry asked, a smirk of his own gracing his lips.

"Of course. Looking into it, as within my right with something as suspicious as that was, happening. Your Magical Guardian is listed as one Albus Dumbledore, and he didn't pull you out of the tournament. By ministry laws, you are legally emancipated, due to being a minor participating in a tournament for of age wizards and witches." Amelia Bones answered. 

"Dumbledore is my Magical Guardian? Looks like I have a handful of things to talk with Lady Bones about, as well as chew Dumbledore out for his lack of action." Harry thought. "For now though.." Harry's eyes shifted back to Fudge and Umbridge, and his eyes hardened. 

"So, tell me. Were you trying to have me tried as an adult, without the Wizengamot's knowledge, and keep that part secret as long as you could manage?" He asked. 

He was met with silence from the two. And a hateful glare from both. 

"Madame Bones, do you mind answering another question for me?" Harry asked. 

"No, I don't mind. What is your other question?" She asked. 

"Can either the Minister, or the Ministers Undersecretary, expell a student, for underage magic?" He asked. 

Again, the two idiots paled. "I wonder if they have gained a headache or migraine, from the color draining from their face so often?" Harry thought. 

"No." Madame Bones answered evenly. "The Minister may have power, but he doesn't have power to expell students. And the Undersecretary certainly doesn't hold the power to. Only the Headmaster/Headmistress, and the Deputy Headmaster/Headmistress, has the ability to. And even then, they have to have a good reason for expulsion." 

"Checkmate." Harry said. "So, Undersecretary Umbridge, sending me a howler, stating I've been expelled from Hogwarts. Is a BIG no no. Isn't it?" He asked.

Madame Bones glared at Umbridge. "Yes, it is." She practically hissed. "And, I am well within my right to arrest you here and now, Delores Umbridge, for abuse of power, and overstepping your position within the Ministry. You are merely the Undersecretary to the Minister, not the Minister. And especially not the Headmistress of Hogwarts." 

"How dare you!" Umbridge exclaimed. 

"Shut it Umbridge!" Augusta Longbottom snapped at her. "The Minister has dished out power to you, that your position doesn't even hold. You are not exempt from our laws, nor is the Minister. You two better learn that quickly, before you find yourselves kicked from your positions from the majority of us, for your gross abuse of power. You are a half-blood who acts worse than Malfoy and his psycho sister-in-law acts. Learn YOUR place, before we finally saddle you in Azkaban like you deserve!" She snarled. 

She was met with silence, due to striking fear in everyone at her temper. 

Harry gulped. "Can we get back on track?" He asked. 

Madame Bones nodded. "Yes, lets." She agreed. "As much as I'd like to view a memory. Lets do the less complicated way. Veritaserum will do, or a wizards oath. Veritaserum is a truth serum, that while is not perfect, it is very hard to fight the effects. And a wizards oath is where one swears on their life and magic, and Lady Magic hold a person to that oath. If what the oath covers is true, the one who swore the oath, maintains their magic. If they lied when swearing the oath, their magic and life is at stake." She explained. 

Harry nodded his head. "May I do both? To prove, 100%, that I'm innocent? He asked. 

Madame Bones thought this over. "I don't see why not. There is no law that states only one method must be used. And, you are in fact emancipated. Ultimately, it is you who must give consent, but there are cases where we the Wizengamot can't go off of consent. This isn't that kind of case though. For the oath part, you must be VERY specific. If you're not specific, you are likely to forfeit your magic and life, for not being specific." She said/ explained. 

Harry nodded his head. "I understand." He said. 

Madame Bones nodded her head, then motioned to Auror Shacklebolt. "Auror Shacklebolt, please administer the Veritaserum." She requested of the Auror. 

He nodded his head and did so. Harry cooperated. 

They gave it a moment to take affect. 

"Are you Harry James Potter?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked.

"Yes." 

"What is your date of birth?"

"July 31st 1980."

"What house are you in?" 

"Gryffindor."

"Who are your Parents?" 

"Lily Anne Marie Potter nee Evans, and James Charles Potter." 

 He looked at Madame Bones. "It's working." He said. 

Dumbledore decided to arrive that very moment. "I apologize for being so late." He called. 

Madame Bones glared at him. "Yes. Well, you'll be no help. Veritaserum as been administered per consent given by Heir Potter. And he has asked to do a wizards oath as well, to give thorough proof. Don't interrupt us." She snapped at the meddling old man.

Dumbledore nodded his head, and held his tongue. 

Madame Bones turned her attention back to Harry. 

"Did you use magic while outside of school?" 

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Dementors appeared suddenly. I had no choice but to use the Patronus charm."

"Who saw you use magic?" 

"My muggle cousin, who is already aware of magic."

"What was the underage magic that took place in your second year at Hogwarts?"

"A house elf named Dobby levitated a cake over a guests head, that was over at the time, and let it fall on their head." 

"What was the accidental magic that took place in your third year?"

"My Uncles Sister was over for a visit. She was bad mouthing my mother, and I lost control of my magic." 

"Why did you flea to Diagon Alley?" 

"My uncle and aunt aren't fond of magic. I didn't want to stay around to find out what my uncle would do to me." 

"Does he hit you?" 

"Yes." 

"Does he yell at you?" 

"Yes. It's his favorite thing to do. Aside from hitting me. 

"Why do you return there if they hurt you?" 

"Dumbledore won't let me go anywhere else."

"Dumbledore knows of your treatment there?"

"Yes. Or, to an extent. I told him I didn't want to go back. He sends me back anyways." 

"..."

Madame Bones glared at Dumbledore so hard, if fire could burst from her eyes, it would. "I will be handling that. He won't be going back there. I suggest you forfeit your Magical Guardian rights, before I have you dragged out of here in cuffs, and place in a holding cell, for Magical Guardian negligence." She stated. 

She looked back at Harry, only to see the Veritaserum wore off. 

"You may make an oath now." She said to him, softly. 

He nodded his head. 

"I Harry James Potter swear on my Magic and Life that I used magic in defense. And I swear on my Magic and Life that it was in defense against dementors." He said. 

With confidence, he grabbed his wand, and cast a Lumos. 

When the Wizengamot saw he still has his magic in tact, and that he's still alive, they knew there was no way to say he could have been lying. 

Madame Bones nodded her head. "As I figured the outcome would be. He didn't scream 'lying', to me." She thought. 

"All those in favor for dropping all charges?" She called out.

Everyone, minus Fudge and Umbridge, raised their hand. 

"All those for rulling him guilty, and his wand snapped?" She called out once more, despite knowing the rulling. 

Only Fudge and Umbridge raised their hand. 

Madame Bones looked Harry's way once more. "You are innocent on all counts. Let it be known that if this happens again, the Minister and Undersecretary get kicked from their positions for abuse of power. So I say, so mote it be." She vowed. 

Again, everyone minus Fudge and Umbridge, agreed. 

Harry nodded his head, grateful for how it turned out. And left the room. 

Dumbledore following suit.