You Drew Stars Around My Scars
Sirius
Saturday nights were one of Sirius’ favourite things ever, especially when he spent them partying with his friends, or simply hanging out with Remus. That was one of those quiet, tranquil moments they reserved for themselves. In order, they’d made themselves some hot chocolate, watched the DVD of a romcom Dorcas had lent them, kissed, baked cookies which Sirius had accidentally burnt by forgetting them in the oven, he’d listened to Remus reading some poems off one of his favourite collections. Now, he was still in Remus’ room, at half past one in the morning. His boyfriend was lying on his chest, reading a book, while Sirius tried to sleep. Resigned after an endless amount of tossing and turning, he laid on his back with a sigh. “Is everything alright, love?” Remus asked, not averting his gaze from the page. “Can’t sleep” Sirius said, brushing a lock of hair out of his eye. “Do you think I should cut my hair?” he asked, holding it up. It had grown pretty long, slightly over his shoulders.
“Only if you want to”.
“I was looking for some advice Remus”.
“You could shave your head and you’d still be beautiful to me”.
“I’m being serious”.
“I am too”.
“Really Remus, what should I do? I mean, I wouldn’t want to risk cutting it too short, though I think it should at least be an inch shorter, but what if I mess up and have to really shave my head to repair the damage?-”.
Remus put the book down, shifted on top of him and interrupted him with a kiss. “You’re perfect” he said, pulling back.
Sirius took his face between his hands and pulled him back down. “Tell me again”.
“You’re perfect. In every way”. How he loved that man. “You should ask Alice to cut your hair, anyway. Just an inch or two, of course. She’s good at it, she gave Marlene a great haircut”.
“She almost blinded Frank with a pair of scissors once”.
“That was years ago”.
“Fine, I’ll trust her”.
Remus let himself fall back on the mattress and picked up his book.
“What are you reading?”.
“What are you trying to read, you meant” he corrected him. “If you keep quiet and let me concentrate”.
“Just give me the book’s title”.
“‘Little Women’. I’m rereading it after like six years”.
“Who’s your favourite March sister? I need to know”. Sirius already knew James’ was Jo, like his, and Peter’s was Beth. “Meg” Remus replied.
“It makes so much sense” Sirius commented, turning to his right side to look at him. “You’ve always resembled her, in my opinion”.
“Yours is Jo, isn’t it?”.
“Yes” Remus didn’t notice his bitter smile, too focused on the novel: Regulus had asked his brother the exact same question years before, after he’d finished reading the novel. Amy used to be his beloved. Sirius bet she still was. And it hurt to know that. Because to his question why she out of the four of them, Regulus had answered: ‘Because she’s always the second choice’.
Sirius had to distract himself from those memories. He shifted on top of Remus’ back, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Can I read with you?”.
“I’m already halfway through the story”.
“It doesn’t matter” Sirius glanced at the title of the new chapter Remus had begun. “Oh, I love this part”.
“It’s one of my favourites too” he said.
Sirius managed to remain focused for four pages straight before something caught his attention.
“Remus”.
“Mmh?”.
“The freckles on your back…” he studied his golden skin, forever marked by scars, and the freckles sprawled across it. “They’re like constellations”.
“Are they, really?”.
“Yes. Wait a minute”. He got up, walking to his desk. Remus glanced at him over his shoulder as he opened a drawer and chose a black marker. He tested it on a half crumbled up sticky note with an old shopping list to make sure it worked, then came back to bed.
Sirius sat on top of him, and removed the marker’s cap, which fell on the mattress beside Remus.
Then, he traced the first line.
“What are you doing?” Remus asked, putting the book down.
“Sshh, keep on reading”.
“How am I supposed to focus with you drawing on my skin as if it was a blank canvas?”.
“Go back to your classic, Moony. I’m working on a masterpiece here”.
“Okay… hey, it tickles” he laughed.
“Stay still, or you’ll ruin the artwork”.
He smiled before turning back to the book. Sirius traced another line, then another, as Remus’ skin turned in a beautiful night sky, star after star, constellation after constellation.
“I’m done” he announced a couple of minutes later, putting the cap back on the marker.
“How am I supposed to look at it?” Remus asked.
“Wait here, and don’t move or the lines will smudge” he instructed, standing up once again. He opened the wardrobe and knelt down, starting to search among the clothes scattered on its floor. “It has to be here, I remember seeing it last week… found it!”.
Sirius pulled out the camera Peter had given Remus for Christmas.
“Stay still now” he said, preparing it to take a picture. He showed it to Remus.
“See? It’s a night sky”.
His boyfriend studied the photo, a smile blossomed on his lips, as Sirius started to list a few constellations: “Cassiopeia, Orion, Libra, Ophiuchus, Leo…”.
The same constellation he’d gotten tattooed on his shoulder: Regulus’ constellation, the one the star he’d been named after belonged in.
“It’s beautiful, Pads. Perhaps I should get this tattooed”.
“That’s not a bad idea”. Remus closed the book, placing it on the bedside table, then patted the mattress next to him. “Come here”. Sirius put the camera down and laid on his side, just as Remus wrapped him in his embrace. Every worry disappeared whenever he hugged him like that, as if telling the world to fuck off, leave them alone, that it would never be able to hurt him, not as long as Remus was there, by his side. Sirius felt safe with him, loved like never before. Remus kissed his forehead. “I have a mission on Wednesday. Dumbledore assigned Mary, Pandora and I to patrol Diagon Alley. Apparently some suspicious movements have been caught there”.
“Can I come too?”.
He shook his head. “No. It might be dangerous”.
“Exactly. Someone needs to be there with you to protect you”.
“I’ll be fine, the girls will be with me”.
“I still want to come. I’m getting good at fighting Death Eaters”.
“You almost died once”.
“That dude took me off guard, okay? I usually never miss the target”.
“You can ask Dumbledore yourself tomorrow, if you really want to join us”. Right. His weekly visit at one of the bases, to update them on the last events and assign them roles. Fighting alongside Aurors… Sirius’ dream of a lifetime, finally becoming reality.
Then, a thought crossed his mind.
“Moony?”.
“Yes, Pads?”.
“Do you think we’ll ever… meet them? On a mission I mean. Do you think we’ll ever have to face each other?”.
Remus knew exactly who he was talking about. “Perhaps. Though I hope not”.
“Neither do I”.
None of them would be able to hurt them, let alone kill them. Especially Regulus. Sirius’ dear little brother. If only he could come home…