Showstopper

As he drove to his best friend's flat it seemed as if time was moving extremely slow, as if it was giving him the chance to turn around and not do this. Like the universe was trying to say it wasn't worth it to try because it would all blow up in his face instead and it would only make things worse, which it was a possibility but he didn't believe it would explode. He believed this was the only right option, he needed to do everything in his power to win Regulus back and if that meant dropping this on Sirius then so be it. It felt like a ticking time bomb though, it had been hard for Sirius to even start talking to his brother again after Regulus had gotten out of their family home eventually as well but it was clear that over the last two years Sirius was finally in a better place with Regulus, they talked a hell of a lot more and yeah sometime they argued but it was always worked through. But this, this could cause a ripple effect whether it was between the Black brother or Sirius and himself he wasn't sure. They had kept this from Sirius for months and James truly had no idea how exactly Sirius would react but he was hoping it wouldn't be too bad, however he also knows Sirius far more than almost everyone else and he knows that he might take this as a betrayal. His thoughts seem to run in the same circles as he pulls up to the flat, it hits him as he's walking up the stairs toward the flat front door that he hadn't called nor texted to tell them he was on the way and that alone made him almost freeze but he knocked on the door anyway since he'd already come all the way over here. It took maybe two minutes before the door was being pulled open and Remus stood there with a confused expression on his face at the sudden appearance of James. It's not that he doesn't come over all the time but usually it's planned or at least there is a call or text to let them know he was on the way, yet this time he hadn't warned either of them that he was coming.

"Oh, James. I didn't know you were coming." Remus said in place of a greeting, James swore he felt it as Remus's eyes raked over his face. "What's wrong, what happened?" Remus asked almost immediately after.

James stood there kind of frozen, was it really that bad that Remus was able to tell just by the look on his face? What did he look like right now, probably a right mess. His mind was racing with thoughts as he knew that he needed to explain himself, but how did he even start to explain what had happened or why Regulus and he had even kept it all a secret from their closest friends, would they even understand? Sirius probably wouldn't but he needed everyone on the same page if he wanted to get this song moving, he needed it published and if everyone wasn't willing to help he honestly had no clue what he was going to do.

"I uh, I have to talk to you and Sirius. I should warn you that Sirius is not going to be happy and I know that it will just make things harder for you but I really need to do this. I wouldn't be here if I thought I had another option, but it kind of seems hopeless right now and this is really the only idea I've been able to come up with that I think might actually make it through to him." James says quietly.

Remus stares at James with a bewildered look, unsure of how to even respond. Which just makes him even more nervous. What was Remus thinking, and would Remus even let him in the door? James shakes his head lightly as he realizes that thought was completely irrelevant, these are his best friends. However, he did just show up without calling or texting and maybe they are busy. Maybe they had plans, his thoughts start to spiral again as he worries that this wasn't a good idea to begin with because what if his plan doesn't work and he's just caused all these other issues with his best friends for nothing? What if Regulus doesn't even care anymore. What if this song doesn't make him understand like James is hoping it will? The what if's continue to shove themselves down James throat and he starts to panic again, did he truly mess everything up? Before he can completely disappear into his head again Remus finally answers.

"Come in then prongs, I trust you have your reasons and I'm sure Sirius won't be as upset as you're making it out to be. He loves you like a brother and I'm sure whatever happened or whatever your going to say isn't as bad as you think it is." Remus says softly as he moves out of the door frame, opening the door fully as he goes. Remus pats James' shoulder as he walks in as a sign of reassurance.

James continues into the flat and walks straight into the living room as if it's his own home, the comfort of their flat slowly helps James relax as he tries to figure out how he's going to explain everything to Sirius and Remus. He realizes now that maybe he should've called Wormie over to the flat so they could all talk but really the fewer people around is probably for the better seeing as he truly has no idea what was actually going to happen when he finally told Sirius the whole truth. All of the slowly building relaxation leaves his body the moment he sees Sirius, as it is all instantly replaced with crippling anxiety. How is he even supposed to start this bloody conversation that he knows is not going to go that well. As if sensing his presence or maybe it was the feel of his eyes on him but Sirius looked up and smiled instantly.

"Prongs! I didn't know you were coming over! Why didn't you tell me earlier when I called?!" Sirius exclaimed. James instantly put on his bright smile, the one he used quite often actually not that anyone ever seemed to notice well except Regulus.

"Sorry Pads, it was last minute. Barely even thought too hard about it before coming over.. I did want to talk to you about something and I thought it would be best to talk to you about it in person rather than on the phone. But I need you to understand that it's kind of a long story and I know you aren't going to be too happy about it and that you probably won't want to listen to me fully but you have to if you want to understand. And I really truly want you to understand, I actually need you to understand." James rambles as he tries to calm himself down at the realization he's actually about to do this. His thoughts start to spiral again because what if Sirius didn't want to wait for him to finish explaining after he begins, what if he refuses to help, what if they don't want to record and then publish the song? Could he record and publish it himself? Would he be ruining everything his best friends and he had built over Regulus? Well, if that's how it had to be James knew that he would but that didn't mean he wanted it to go that way.

Sirius stands up and walks over to James with a concerned look as he reaches out to place his hand on his shoulder, this move made James' stomach rippled with guilt as he realized that this was his best friend, over course Remus and Peter were also his best friends but Sirius was different, Sirius was a part of him. Not in a romantic way at all, completely platonic but to say that Sirius was just his brother was an understatement. James was sure they had to be twin flames, because Sirius was truly a part of him, a part of his soul. They have always supported each other with everything that they've decided to do, so why did this feel so different. James truly wanted everything to work because he was truly convinced that if it didn't that, he might lose both Black Brothers and that was something so unimaginable, so terrifying that he was sure his heart and soul would shatter if it were to happen. While his thoughts spiraled, he missed everything Sirius had said, his eyes were unseeing and his ears were unhearing until Sirius gave him a small shake and James' eyes focused back in and he gave a small sheepish smile and he said softly, "Sorry Pads, what did you say?"

This caused Sirius to shake his head in a playful way as he says "I said, what did you need to talk to me about, it can't be that bad. But you seemed to have spaced out so I said your name like four times trying to get your attention before I shook you." The look Sirius is giving him causes him to feel even more nervous because it looks as if he's concerned for James but also unsure of what is coming and like he's trying to prepare himself for the worse. And this might just be the worst to Sirius, he has no clue how he's going to feel about it. He knows that Sirius has been rather protective over Regulus but he also gets very annoyed by him too and it's not like they have the best sibling relationship but hopefully everything isn't about to blow up in his face.

James sighs softly as he says, "Please just listen, don't freak out or anything." He pauses as he tries to figure out how to word it, if he should start at the beginning or just rip the band aid off and tell Sirius that he'd been seeing Regulus and then explain. Both seem dangerous in their own way; on one hand he could start from the beginning but if he isn't fast in the way he explains than Sirius will get irritated but if he just jumps right in and says oh, I was dating your brother before he abruptly broke up with me without any explanation it's likely Sirius will be livid. It kind of feels like a lose lose situation, however as Sirius waits James can see in his eyes that he's growing antsy and irritated already so he blurts out "I've been seeing Regulus!"

In that moment it's as if the whole world has stopped on its axis, as if time itself was frozen as James watches Sirius' face. His eyes widening and freezing as he sucks in a shocked breath. And then in a matter of seconds it's as if the whole world has sped up and Sirius' eyes harden and his mouth turns down in a scowl as he says lowly "I must have heard you wrong Prongs, because it seems as if you just said you've been seeing my baby brother?!"

James freezes as he tries to think of what to say next, maybe he should've taking the long route on explaining. But that's most definitely not an option now as he watched his best friend's face morph into a look of pure frustration and betrayal. Looks like James was right, of course Sirius would see this as a betrayal of sorts. James' panic reaches an all-time high as he watches his best friend's face, he immediately holds his hand up as he stutters out "Woah, woah, woah no it's not like that. Don't, please let me explain. We were going to tell you, I promise! You know how Regulus is, you also know how the world is. Especially the world we live, the life we live. We just wanted some time completely to ourselves before we said anything, you know that feeling, don't you? Remus and you always get bombarded, there are constant rumors and everything. It wasn't because we didn't trust you, you know I trust you more than almost anyone Padfoot. Please please let me explain everything to you." James felt as if he was running out of air as he rushed to make Sirius understand, it breaks James' heart to see Sirius hurt especially if he's the one causing the pain. And that look on Sirius' face is tearing him apart.

Sirius stares at James for what feels like an eternity, it's as if the world is frozen yet moving too fast. As if maybe it's moving so fast it looks like nothing is happening because you can't see it with the naked eye. Eventually Sirius says in a voice barely above a whisper yet in a tone so deafening "Then explain, James."

The way he spoke breaks James' heart even more as he looks at Sirius with eyes that shown with pure emotion as he says "It started a few months ago, I never meant for it to become what it did. I was just trying to get to know him, to get along with him because I knew how important he was to you. But after a few weeks I realized that I felt something so much more than I thought I ever could. I was falling for him, at first I didn't say anything to you because I wasn't even sure that he would ever feel anything remotely the same as I did. And then once I realized that Regulus did in fact feel the same, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to pressure him into anything. Once we started to date, we uh agreed not to say anything because we wanted to be able to just be. It wasn't because we didn't trust you, and it wasn't because I didn't want you to know or anything. It's just hard to be together while everyone's eyes are on you, you know? We had plans to tell you I swear."

James stopped speaking and looked at Sirius trying to gauge his reaction but as he looked at Sirius he realized he had no clue what he was thinking. Several moments passed before Sirius says sharply "Then why are you even telling me now? If it was just an inconvenience before?"

This was far from the response that James was expecting and now he felt like he might throw up as he realized he'd have to explain how Regulus broke up with him, why and how the "Skittles" newest hit song was dedicated to him. Along with his plans to get Regulus back, gods he knew this was about to become a real shit show depending on how Sirius took it. And from his response right now, he wasn't too sure that Sirius would be able to keep his barely held together calm; if you could even call this calm. James takes a deep breath as he starts to play with his hoodie sleeves before looking directly at Sirius.

"There was a misunderstanding, uh and Reg broke up with me. He uh you um know his new hit? The one that just came out? Yeah uh that one is uh dedicated to me." James says in a shaky and quiet voice. He pulls at his sleeves more as he takes another breath and to try and calm his shaking voice as he continues "He saw those photos of Lily and I, I'm assuming shortly after they started circling on the internet and he kind of ghosted me. But I waited, I had no clue what was going on. I kind of just assumed he was busy or something you know? Because throughout our relationship it wasn't like we had all the time in the world, we saw each other as often as we could but with his band and ours plus how we were keeping our relationship a secret it's not like we could disappear that often or else people would've caught on. But then uh he messaged me this morning, it was a link to the song with a single message "This is dedicated to you." I uh I was so lo-" his voice cuts off as a small sob light sound escapes his throat. James shakes his head and clears his throat as he continues "I was so lost on what I could've done to upset him, to make him feel that way you know? But then you called and you told me about those photos of Lily and I... and it all clicked, Reg he uh must've thought that there was something going on between us what with all the uh shipping going on online." James cuts himself off as he looks away feeling as if his heart was breaking all over again.

Sirius stared at James for a few moments as he took all the information in, he sat there studying James face as if he could read every emotion on his face which to be far would be true. It feels as if James stands there for hours as he waits for Sirius to say something. Eventually Sirius reaches out and grabs his hands to stop James from pulling on his sleeves any longer before he asks softly "He wrote it.. about you?"

The way he spoke and the words he said caused James to pause for just a moment before he answers "Yeah, he's hurting and I hate that he's hurting but he won't answer me right now because he's got it in his head that the internet is right about Lily and I. Which in itself hurts like hell because you and I know I would never be unfaithful to someone especially if I love them. And I truly thought he knew that, but I guess I must've done something wrong? Because it's clear he has some mistrust with me already right? Maybe I wasn't a good enough boyfriend? Maybe I didn't show him enough love? But like it all hurts because I know he's hurting and that only hurts me. I love him Pads."

Sirius' eyes widen as James says that he loves Regulus but he doesn't say anything right away he just stares up at James with unblinking eyes as if he's trying to determine if James is being honest, which in itself is crazy because of course James is being honest. James Fleamont Potter could love anyone and once he does, he loves them with his entire heart and soul, as if each person he loves is the most important thing to him. He never puts anyone above another, he never lets them down, he's always there when they need him and right now the James in front of him is breaking. You can't see it clearly but if you look hard enough you can see it in his eyes, in the small twitches of his fingers or the way he pulls at his hoodie sleeves. Even in the way his hair is a wild mess, not like his normal gorgeous messiness but an uncontrolled and chaotic mess. All of this combined causes Sirius' eyes to soften as he finally says "Prongs, I had no clue. I what can I do for you? How do I help you...?"

James' eyes widen as his emotions run wild and he shakes his head to clear it as he says quietly "You aren't mad at me?" His words cause Sirius' eyebrows to furrow slightly as they stare at each other.

Sirius steps forward and wraps his arms around James as he says softly "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm still a bit confused, but you just told me that you love Regulus. And I can see the way you're hurting. Tell me what I can do to help you. You are my best friend, James. And I hate to see you like this, so tell me what can I do?"

James instantly leans into Sirius' hug as before he responds with "I have an idea, uh I kind of wrote my own song. It's not exactly in response to Reg's but it is in a way. It's about him, and I was hoping we could start recording it and then publish it. I know it might not work but I also know how curious he is, and if I send it, he'll listen to it even if he's not happy about doing so. He is so incredibly stubborn sometimes, but I know his curiosity will win. I just hope that it's enough to get him to finally talk to me. So... I guess I came here hoping moony and you would help me do that?"

Sirius pulls out of the hug slowly but sticks close to James, which he notices but doesn't mention as he waits for Sirius' response which only takes about half a moment as he quickly and almost breathlessly says "Of course, of course we will. It shouldn't have even been such a hard question. We always have each other's backs. Maybe I was a bit pissed at the beginning but that's because I didn't know everything yet let alone that you love Regulus. He's my baby brother of course I'm going to be a bit protective, I would've been livid if it wasn't serious."

This is not the reaction that James was expecting by far, it seems like the furthest thing from what he had thought would happen but then again this isn't the first time he had been wrong about a way that Sirius would react. It seems as if both best friends hadn't realized how much the other had grown in the past few years especially with Regulus around, they were the same people as before but with a bit more maturity and were a little more open to realizing that things aren't always as they seem at first sight. With this revelation in mind James finally finds his words as he says slowly "Actually? Thank you. Thank you so much Siri, you have no clue how much that means to me!"

A soft laugh causes both of them to turn to the left and realize that Remus had been there, for who knows how long. Likely the entire time but regardless James smiles over at him as he asks quietly "Do you agree? That you'll help me record and publish the song?"

Remus gives James a smile as he nods and walks over hugging both of them as he says softly "I will, and I am so proud of the way you were able to handle all of this without needing me to break it up at all. However, James I think we'd both like to hear this song of yours?" This causes a ripple of laughter to pass through the group as they continue to hug. After a few moments James pulls back and finally takes a seat down in their living room on the red couch, as soon as he's sat Sirius takes the seat next to him as Remus takes the seat across from them on the persian chair in front of them and gives James an encouraging smile.

Almost instantly James says "I can sing the lyrics; I haven't figured out a melody or anything yet. I was hoping you'd both be willing to help with that. And Pete of course. Oh shit, we'll have to explain everything to Pete eventually too. But uh here I go." He takes a deep breath in as he begins to sing a snippet of the song. "Oh, I hope I don't lose you. Please stay. I want you. I need you, oh gods. Don't take these beautiful things that I've got. Please stay. I want you. I need you, oh gods. Don't take these beautiful things that I've got." He stops singing and takes a moment to collect himself as his pain starts to resurface full force.

Sirius and Remus sit there staring at James as if they'd never seen him before as they realize the pain he must be in, the meaning behind his words. And the longing he must feel at this moment, Remus reaches over and places his hand on James' shoulder and gives it a small squeeze before saying "We can call Wormie over and start to figure out a melody to go with your lyrics, I'm assuming you have it all written down or memorized enough that you could write it down for us to work with?" James simply nods as he feels as if he can't speak right now without his voice cracking. Remus then says "I'll grab a notepad for you unless you've brought yours. I'll also call Pete and then we can get started the moment he's here." With that Remus gets up and walks off to grab the necessary equipment, while Sirius leans over and wraps an arm around James' shoulder pulling him close as they wait.