the hogwarts express
September 1, 1971
According to the alarm clock by her bed, Lily woke up at 4:37 in the morning. Or perhaps she hadn’t slept at all. She was too nervous—no. Excited. Her mother had told her that nervousness and excitement act the same in the body, so they’re easy to get confused. Lily was excited. She counted the hours. Six hours and twenty-three minutes until the train was going to pull out of King’s Cross. A four-hour drive to London, an extra thirty minutes for anything to go wrong, and that left one hour and fifty-three minutes until she needed to leave the house. She opened her trunk and double-checked that she had everything, the list that Professor McGonagall had given her in hand, wrinkled beyond repair now, although after her many read-throughs of the introductory chapter of Miranda Goshawk’s Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1).
Lily thought she probably shouldn’t read too far ahead, for fear of being too advanced for her first days at Hogwarts, but she couldn’t help looking in the index whenever she had a small problem, trying to see what she would learn how to do in school. Since Standard Book of Spells was an instructional manual, Lily couldn’t justify reading ahead, especially since she wasn’t allowed to do magic at home. That rule didn’t apply to the rest of the books she had bought that day with Professor McGonagall. Over the last seven months, Lily had read A History of Magic, Magical Theory, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them from cover to cover, and she and Sev had spent the summer going through Magical Draughts and Potions, although Severus seemed to know its contents by heart already.
Lily confirmed that she had everything that she needed packed in her trunk and bookbag, and looked back at her clock. 4:52. Lily was practically bouncing off of her bedroom walls and decided to get ready for the day. Lily put on her uniform skirt, shirt, and socks, but not her tie, shoes, or robe. She wanted to be comfortable on the train, and not stand out too much at King’s Cross. She put on the green trainers she had been wearing all summer, and folded her black Hogwarts tie and black robe carefully, so that they fit into her bookbag. According to Hogwarts, a history (a book that Professor McGonagall had suggested, although it wasn’t on her official reading list), Lily’s tie and robe would change color according to her house placement, but until the Sorting Hat told her where to go (she still didn’t really get how a hat could know so much about her, but she supposed magic was magic), they would remain neutrally black. The houses were Gryffindor, for the bravest students, Hufflepuff, for the most loyal, Ravenclaw, for the academics and creative-types, and Slytherin, for the ambitious and cunning. Hogwarts, a history made it very clear that there was no right or wrong house to be sorted into, and successful witches and wizards could come from any house, but Lily was secretly hoping for Ravenclaw. She had always prided herself on how well she did in school, after all. Lily finished getting dressed and packing her uniform, and went into the bathroom between her and Petunia’s rooms to finish getting ready.
She looked in the mirror and sighed, wishing she could charm away her freckles, or the gap between her teeth. She shook her head. Maybe she could learn that another day, but for now, what she was looking at was what she was stuck with. Lily brushed her teeth and packed her toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss, knowing those were among the things she really could not get by without. She came back into the bathroom and brushed through her long hair. Her brow furrowed as she tried to decide what to do with it. After much back and forth about practicality as opposed to looking her best for first impressions, Lily decided on a simple plait down her back.
Back in her room, Lily looked at the clock. 5:13. Lily paced. She screamed into her pillow. She picked her wand up from her desk and practiced holding it. 5:17. Lily carefully placed her wand into her bookbag. She knew it should probably go into her trunk, but she wanted it near her, where she could grab it if she had need of it. 5:19. Lily dragged her trunk into the hallway and placed her bookbag down gently on top of it, for her father to lug down the stairs when he awoke in (she checked the clock) forty minutes.
Lily decided to make breakfast for the whole family, since she had time to spare. She settled on Petunia’s favorite, as a peace offering: scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast with lemon curd. Things had been, well, tense between Lily and Petunia ever since Lily’s birthday. Tenser than they had been. Now Lily was not only a freak, but a witch, confirmed. Lily thought this new label might help things. She wasn’t weird, she was special, like Sev had said.
The Evans parents’ reaction hadn’t exactly worked in Lily’s favor with Petunia. Once they got over the initial shock of it all, Lily’s mum and dad were thrilled. The visit to Diagon Alley, as the wizarding section of London was known, went swimmingly. Professor McGonagall had had the Evanses meet her at a warehouse in Manchester, where they all stepped into a large fireplace, the professor stated the name of the place she wished to take them, and in a whoosh of green flame, Lily found herself, a little bit lightheaded, in London. Her parents were dizzy enough to take several minutes of recovery, but soon enough, Professor McGonagall was marching them into Gringotts, the wizarding bank, to exchange their muggle (non-magic) money for wizarding currency. Lily’s father did not care for the wizard money system, lecturing her at length on the various ways in which the seemingly random math for the different denominations (Galleon, Sickle, and Knut), made no sense and would make her life harder. Unfortunately, Lily’s father said this in the middle of the bank, where dirty looks from the goblins and other staff had Professor McGonagall rushing the family out the door. Soon enough, though, Lily’s father’s qualms about the mathematics of it all went out the window, for he was experiencing magic.
At Ollivander’s wand shop, Lily’s parents watched her wand choose her, and then Mr. Ollivander was so pleased to have a pair of Muggle parents in the shop, that when Lily’s father asked to try and find a wand, he got to try three, before realizing that, in fact, wands were meant for wizards, and unlike his daughter, he could not make golden sparks fly out of the tip of any wand he held. Lily’s mother was asked if she would like to give it a shot, and she rolled her eyes affectionately at her husband, shaking her head with a smile.
The rest of the day had been about the same. Professor McGonagall was efficient, but let Lily and her parents enjoy their first foray into the wizarding world. And while it had been a wonderful day, and Lily was glad that her parents were happy she was a witch, Petunia had missed all of that. When Lily’s mum had asked if Petunia wanted her to ask Professor McGonagall if she could come along, Petunia had scoffed, saying that she didn’t want to spend a day trapped as the only normal person in a freakshow. Lily wasn’t supposed to hear that conversation, and it stung. That night at supper, Lily’s dad wouldn’t stop talking about everything they had seen in London, demanding that Lily write home constantly, with everything new she learned about the world of magic and witches and wizards. Lily had blushed and laughed and agreed, and Petunia had stared very determinedly at the peas on her plate.
Breakfast was a peace offering. It was Lily’s last morning, and she wanted to leave things with Tuney on a high note. Lily’s father came down first. He thanked her for cooking, greeted her with a kiss to the top of her head, and brewed his tea, promising to bring Lily’s trunk downstairs just as soon as he had finished his cuppa. Lily’s mother was next up, greeting her with a big hug, clearly distraught that Lily would be leaving so soon. Lily’s mum reminded her dad to bring the trunk down, and he waved her off goodnaturedly, not looking up from his newspaper. At 6:15, with fifteen minutes until they were set to leave the house, Lily’s mum started fretting about Petunia, who was all too unenthused about being forced to come to London, citing that it was a waste of time and that she was missing school to come. Lily’s mum wouldn’t hear it, insisting that it was important to send Lily off as a family, since she would be gone for so long. At 6:20, Lily’s mum trudged up the stairs and woke Petunia. In some miracle, the whole family was ready to depart just fifteen minutes later, five minutes past their deadline.
Petunia’s stony silence infected the backseat, and very nearly put Lily into an equally sour mood, upping her anxiety by a factor of twenty. Her father hummed along to the radio, however, and her mum gave her all of the standard safety reminders she would get for a week at sleepaway camp, plus her first day of school academic rundown. The ride seemed to last forever, but the normalcy of her parents’ behavior calmed Lily as much as it annoyed her, and her mum hadn’t finished talking by the time they pulled into King’s Cross, half an hour before the train left.
As the Evanses found the column between platforms nine and ten, where Professor McGonagall had said to enter to get to the train, Lily’s heart started beating faster. Her mum said, “She said… to run? At the barrier?” Lily nodded, and looked up to find her mum looking less certain by the second.
Petunia scoffed in disbelief as their father gripped the trolley a little tighter, grinned at Lily, and said, “Shall we?”
Something about the look on her father’s face gave Lily confidence, and she nodded, running full pelt at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10, in step with her dad. She shut her eyes just as she would have hit the brick wall, and when she opened them she found herself on an entirely new platform. Platform 9 ¾.
Lily was awestruck. She took in the huge red train in front of her, alongside the parents and kids mulling about on the platform, and nearly didn’t notice when Petunia and her mum knocked gently into her and her dad on the way into the platform. Lily watched kids her age in robes of all colors saying tearful goodbyes to their parents and struggling with their luggage. She watched teenagers in strange combinations of plainclothes and robes running up to greet their friends, and found herself excited not only for the magic she’d learn, but the friends she’d make. Then her mum started speaking.
“Never hesitate to write home, dear. Just because we aren’t magic doesn’t mean we’re useless,” said Lily’s mum. And suddenly, Lily remembered the family she was leaving behind to go to Hogwarts. Her eyes welled with tears as a fresh wave of anxiety hit— about leaving home, about not living with her parents, about the possibilities for making friends a seven hour drive from home at a school where she didn’t know a single soul—
“Darling, you’re going to scare her,” Lily’s dad’s voice broke through the sound of Lily’s blood rushing in her ears, “Lily, you’re going to be just fine, dear.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, “You’re brilliant, remember?” Lily flushed, nodding up at her father, who continued, “Everyone is going to want to be your friend, dear, but even so, if you decide you don’t like any of them, we’ll bring you right home. Nobody says you have to stay at this school if you don’t want to.” Lily nodded again, blinking the tears out of her eyes. Her father always made being brave seem like the most logical choice.
Lily’s mum said, “About fifteen minutes till the train leaves, dear.”
“S’pose I should get settled,” said Lily, hating how her voice shook. Her father smiled, and Lily threw her arms around his waist, content to stay like that forever, until her mother tugged on her sleeve. Lily turned, throwing herself into her mother’s arms.
When her mother pulled back, she held onto Lily’s face, saying softly, “You are so loved, Lily. We love you very much, dear.”
Lily swallowed thickly, “I love you, too, Mum.”
Lily’s mum’s face hardened the way it only did when she was holding back tears, “I’ll see you at Christmas, darling,” her eyes narrowed for a moment, “and I’ll teach you to do something with those freckles.” Lily blushed, suddenly self-conscious, but her mother let her go, turning her toward Petunia.
Lily wanted to be brave, “I’ll miss you, Tuney,” she said, a wobble returning to her voice as she wrapped her arms around Petunia’s shoulders.
Petunia patted her back stiffly, and said, “I’ll see you in December, Lily.”
Lily whispered in her sister’s ear, “I love you,” gave her one last squeeze, and let her go.
She turned back toward her father, who manned the trolley full of Lily’s things. He walked her up to the train and helped her load her trunk onto it, then gave her one last hug. With Lily on the train and her father on the platform, they were almost the same height. He whispered something in her ear about seeing her at Christmas and bringing her straight home if anyone was mean to her, which elicited a watery laugh, before letting her go, swearing to learn some magic before she came home.
Lily’s father stepped back from the edge of the platform, to stand back with her mum and Petunia, and Lily moved further into the train, rushing to the nearest compartment and barely registering the boy already sitting inside. She rushed to the window and waved frantically at her parents, who were blowing kisses and waving cheerfully. Lily really tried not to notice Petunia’s scowling face next to their mother. Lily stayed there, watching her parents, for ten minutes until the train pulled out of the station.
She flopped down onto the empty seat, finally taking in the boy across from her. He looked to be in her year, with buzzed blond hair and a black eye. Lily figured if there was ever a time to make a friend, it was now, “It’s so horrid, saying goodbye, isn’t it?” She knew it was obvious she had been crying, but was pleased that her voice didn’t wobble much when she spoke.
The boy nodded cautiously, eyeing Lily with obvious suspicion, “Uh, yeah, I s’pose.”
“My name’s Lily.”
“Remus.”
He wasn’t making Lily’s job easy, but she pressed on, “Are you from a muggle family, too, Remus?”
Lily didn’t realize that a person could look bored to the point of hostility, but Remus proved it possible, “My dad was a wizard, but I didn’t know him.” Lily cringed internally; she didn’t realize this was such a personal question, “I grew up with muggles, if that’s what you mean.”
Find common ground, thought Lily, you’ve made plenty of friends in your life, it isn’t that hard. Despite every instinct, Lily kept talking, “I couldn’t believe it when I got my letter. But I can’t wait to see what it’s like. Can you?”
Before Remus had a chance to respond, the carriage door opened, and Severus’ head poked through it. Something in Lily’s chest unclenched as his eyes found hers. She did have a friend here. Sev also sounded bored when he spoke— what was it with people today? He said, “There you are, Lily. I’ve been looking for ages.”
Lily leapt from her seat, throwing her arms around Sev’s neck, “Sev! I’m so glad to see you!” He patted her back and she pulled away; Sev had never been all that comfortable with physical affection.
“Come and sit in my carriage. There’s plenty of room,” Sev’s tone didn’t leave much to argue with.
“Oh,” In spite of their awkward interaction, Lily didn’t want to leave Remus alone. She asked, “Can Remus come? He’s all by himself.”
Severus looked at Remus for a long moment, “I’m not sure. There might not be that much room.” He gave Lily a tight smile, which she had learned, in the fourteen months that they had known each other, meant that in Sev’s mind, the matter was settled.
She didn’t want to push it today, not that it would have mattered, because Remus spoke up again, “Get lost then. I don’t want to go to your stupid carriage.” He looked pointedly out the window, and Lily realized that the matter was settled on both ends.
Lily let Severus lead her out of the compartment. “That was mean, Severus.”
Severus scoffed, “You don’t want to be in with his lot, Lily. Trust me.”
Lily rolled her eyes, out of Severus’ view, as he slid another compartment door open. Inside, she found two more boys around her age, in Hogwarts robes, who Severus introduced as Aubrey and Cresswell. Lily found herself not speaking much the rest of the journey, but it was calming to be near Sev.