The Loneliest Guy
Regulus startled at a knock on the door. He was curled up in the library with a few old newspaper clippings about Berriwell Madwell that he'd read at least a dozen times before when a familiar head popped up.
“Uncle Alphard!” He quickly stuffed the articles into the book next to him and shut it as he stood to greet the man. “I apologize for not greeting you when you arrived, I was unaware that you were visiting today.”
Alphard waved him off with a kind smile and gave his curls a friendly ruffle. “Don't worry about it, Regulus. I didn't exactly give your parents notice that I was coming over.”
Actually, it was weird that he had come while both heads of house were out for the afternoon. What could he possibly want?
“I received a letter from your brother yesterday asking me to come check up on you. Apparently you've not been responding to him?” Alphard gave him an expectant look.
Regulus huffed and averted his gaze while fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. Alphard was a trusted enough confidant of the two boys that they felt safe using him as a backup if Andy ever couldn't send their letters, but the side effect of that meant he could be used as a messenger during fights. Besides, it wasn't that he meant to ignore Sirius's letters, he just didn't know what to say. He hated lying to the older boy but didn't know how to explain everything without making him worry needlessly. Plus, he was still mad about him not coming home for the holidays.
Alphard took his silence as an answer and hummed thoughtfully. “My sister did mention that Sirius was spending Yule at Hogwarts. Is that what you're upset about, or is it something else?”
Regulus lasted about seven full seconds before giving in and looking back up at his uncle. “...he promised to come home after fall semester. Apparently his new friends are more important than his word.”
“Have you considered that he may have wanted to come home but couldn't for whatever reason?”
“Like what?” Regulus wrinkled his nose.
Alphard crouched down so he was at eye level with the ten-year-old. “You know your parents better than I do. What do you think?”
His parents? What did they have to do with-
Regulus blinked and his mouth fell open in surprise. No, they wouldn't - they absolutely would. Walburga and Orion were heartless when it came to their sons. He wouldn't put it past them to command Sirius to stay at school during winter break so that he didn't infect Regulus with his newfound Gryffindor-ness. If that was the case, what were they going to do when summer finally came? Would they be kept separate until his own sorting ceremony in the fall?
Alphard must have seen the horror dawning his nephew's face because he chose that moment to speak up with a reassuring smile. “Don't worry, Hogwarts doesn't allow summer students so they'll have to take him back then. If they try to ship one of you off somewhere for a few months, I'll step in and offer my house so you can still hang out. You just have to make it til September.”
“Thanks.” Regulus's voice cracked and he willed back the burning pressure behind his eyes. This whole situation sucked, all he wanted was to grab on to his big brother and never let go so that no one could split them apart. Four months was a long time to be separated, but a year was worse.
“You should write back and let him know you're okay.” Alphard gave him a final pat and pulled away, stretching his back out as he stood. “Even if you're still upset with him, it's better to say something than to not. Just be honest and it'll all work out. I'll be on my way, then. Take care of yourself, Regulus. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
He nodded obediently and watched his uncle walk away with a parting wave. Guilt scratched at his throat as he thought about the stack of unopened letters on his bedside table. He'd told his parents he was conversing with Andromeda more because he wanted to get a better idea of what he needed to do to prep for Hogwarts, and luckily they seemed to believe him. Mother made it clear he wasn't allowed to owl Sirius and was thrilled that he was showing an interest in “a proper Slytherin” such as his cousin. Father didn't seem to care much either way, but he did tend to get this angry look whenever Sirius was brought up in conversation.
Regulus huffed and returned his books back to their proper locations, leaving the newspaper articles stuffed into the library copy of Quidditch: A Beginner's Guide. He traveled back to his room and twisted the lock shut behind him to ensure that he wouldn't be interrupted. Kreacher had a sixth sense for when doors were locked and tended to respect that boundary despite his ability to apparate wherever he liked.
He settled down at his desk by the window and grabbed a fresh piece of parchment, dipping a hawk feather quill in ink and hovering it over the page.
Drip… drip… drip…
This was pathetic. Regulus dropped the quill on the table and buried his head in his hands. He should be able to write a letter to his brother without stressing himself out like this, why did it have to be so hard?
Just be honest.
He took a deep breath and picked up the quill.
Dear Sirius,
To start off, I'm okay. I know you're probably wearing a hole in the floor with all of your worrying, but I promise I'm not hurt. I've not been replying to your letters because I was mad at you. You promised you'd come home, and you didn't. You chose your new life over your one with me and that made me angry.
However, I've also come to understand that it may not be due to your own choice that you stayed. I'm still upset with you, but more than anything, I miss you. I would say that I hope you're having fun at Hogwarts, but it wouldn't be the truth. I know that you have friends - good friends - and I know that they make you happy, but selfishly I don't want you to leave me behind.
Enjoy school, but when summer comes, please don't let our parents send you away. Find a reason to stay home and when September comes around we can leave together. I love you, Siri.
Please come home soon.
Regulus
He took a deep breath and placed the quill back in its holder. A frown tugged at his lips as he read over the words nervously. It certainly wasn't a happy letter, what if it just made Sirius feel even worse? Maybe he wasn't as worried as Regulus thought and sending this would only ruin his spring semester.
You could always look and see, a voice whispered at the back of his mind. He cringed at the thought of how his last forced vision went, but he had to know. If Sirius was happy and unconcerned, he wouldn't send the letter. If he wasn't, well, it probably wouldn't make things any worse.
Regulus walked over to his bed and grabbed a pillow before making his way over to the bathroom. He laid down with the cool tile against his back and cushioned his head as his eyes slipped closed. As he thought of a target, he searched for that familiar feeling of disconnect within his head and focused on bringing it to the forefront of his mind.
Show me Sirius.
His magic fought back and he tightened his mental grip.
Show me Sirius.
There was a flash of wavy black hair that he clung on to even as the image faded.
Show me Sirius!
The vision coiled around his eyes like a serpent and hissed its displeasure. Regulus willed the command to take hold and the scene was finally close enough to grab. He reached out for the image of his brother and was struck with the sensation of falling.
Sirius was alone this time. The beds were familiar, as were the thick red drapes and gold cables that adorned each one, but the room only held one occupant. The older Black had never looked as small to Regulus as he did now, muffling his cries in the school-issued pillows and curling up under a heavy wool blanket that he must have taken from home.
Sirius sobbed and hiccuped every few heaves as he poured his every emotion out onto that pillow. Regulus was struck with guilt at the realization that he was likely to reason for his brother's tears. Sirius wasn't typically much of a crier, more so the type to soldier through things until they got to be too much and he broke down as a result.
“Sirius?” A voice called out as the door creaked open.
“Go away!” Sirius sat up to yank the drapes shut and muttered a quick silencing spell as big crocodile tears ran down his cheeks.
Regulus barely had the chance to recognize the tawny-haired boy's voice before he was ripped out of the vision. He came crashing back into his body and barely managed to pull himself over the edge of the toilet before he threw up.
He could barely think through the blinding headache and waves of sick that wracked his form, but distantly he knew he had to send the letter. Sirius was miserable and would continue to remain that way until he understood why Regulus hadn't been responding to him. Hell, he probably thought their parents had done something to prevent him from sending a reply and was worried that he was hurt.
Regulus may still be upset with Sirius, but he never wanted to make him cry like that. No amount of his own hurt was worth that level of pain from his older brother, so if he could do something to make it better, he would.
He used a sleeve to wipe the corner of his mouth as his forehead came to rest on the porcelain rim.
Summer couldn't come soon enough.