So there he stood, at the front door of the home he hates so much. No one stopping him from leaving. Except for Reg. Now by no stretch of a mile is Reg standing in front of him begging him not to go, Reg would let him leave. But if he leaves Reg will he ever forgive himself? It's Regulus, his little brother, the boy with the stupidest name he’s ever heard (not that his is any better,) the boy he said he would protect. The second he leaves he can't do that. He’s spent years dealing with everything from their parents so Reg wouldn’t have to. He took all the punishments, all the cuts and beatings for him. He did things worse than what Reg was being punished for just to keep him safe.
Sirius always knew their parents weren’t exactly normal. He knew no other kids dreaded going home, no other kids cried at the thought, no other kids were covered in scars, except for him. Sirius turned to look around, taking in the dark walls plastered with old family photos of equally miserable children, and wondered if by leaving without him, he’d be resigning Reg to that for the rest of his life. And he knew he couldn't do that. So he dropped his backpack off of his shoulder reluctantly, ran his fingers through his black curls, and did the thing he swore he’d never do. Walk into that house by choice.
He didn't even bother taking off his shoes, knowing it would annoy his parents, instead, he just walked to the staircase, took a deep breath, then admitted defeat and walked up the winding staircase, his shoes clapping on the laminate on the way up. He takes a left and just stands in front of Reg’s door. Reg would never agree to this, what is he thinking? Reg always kept his head down, and did what their parents asked, all to avoid punishment, what is Sirius thinking, believing he could come with him? These are not his parents, he tells himself. Parents shouldn't make their children bleed, and so he bursts through the door.
‘Reg I'm leaving.’
‘That much I gathered, you're not exactly known for your quiet compliance’
'No, but you are, I'm not leaving you here Reg. You’ll never tell them no, god knows you won’t. I know you won't and I can't leave you here for them to make you, toy with you, and treat you like something to be controlled.’
‘You know I can't do that.’ he replies, with that familiar resignation in his voice. ‘We can't both leave, they would search to the edge of the world before letting that. They had two sons. You've already spent years showing them the person to inherit everything won't be you, it has to be me, it has to be someone.’
Sirius feels tears prick his eyes but blinks them down, he's not breaking down here anyway. ‘Reg please, I can't do it. I can't walk out that door knowing I'm leaving you here, with them. I'm not doing it. Please don't make me.’ he pleads but Reg still sits stoically.
‘Leave, Sirius. I'll be fine. You’ll see me at school still. You’ll know if anything happens, Besides your 16, if you leave and don't want to be found the ministry doesn't have to bring you back. I'm still 15, they’d hunt us down and then we’d both be back. I love you, but you need to go.’
The tears don't stop this time. ‘Reg, please. Please don't.’ Sirius chokes out from between sobs.
‘I love you, please go. Ask Effie and Monty to save me a room will you? I'll be with you again before you know it.’
And it's there that Sirius’ heart shatters. He's mindlessly pleading. It feels like Reg had just reached into his throat, grabbed onto his heart, torn it out, and thrown it down in the space between them. But Reg won't budge, so he leaves. He leaves the little brother he’s spent 15 years protecting. He walks out of the room remembering the time they dared to build a snowman together and how their parents shouted about how ‘unbecoming’ it was. He bled for that. He walked down the stairs recalling the day he left for his first day of Hogwarts and the look on Reg’s face now that he knew he was all alone, the genuine fear behind his eyes knowing Sirius wouldn't be there, but the relief of knowing they couldn't hurt Sirius anymore. He walked onto the porch thinking of the time he cried silently into Reg’s arms after their parents made a spectacle of him at some stupid, fancy party. Telling everyone how he was a disgrace to the family name for daring to mix with blood traitors and 'mixes,' His best friends, he bled for that too. He laces his shoes considering the moment when he came home for his first Christmas at Hogwarts, and how he had a go at his parents for detailing exactly how much of a disgrace he was. Another thing he bled for. But Reg was there to carry him up the stairs with his calves spewing blood. Reg was the one to wrap his bandages and cover his wounds in antiseptic. He puts on the backpack wondering if Reg will ever make it to Effie's. He opens the door worrying about how Reg will cope without him after they leaned on each other for so long. Poor Reg. Sirius already misses him, and even more so hates that he's leaving his baby brother. Always his baby brother. And he leaves, the tears still flowing freely from his eyes.