She was nine when she first met him. His family had just moved into Spinner's End, and she saw him sitting on the bench at the park her and Tuney always hung out at. He was sitting all alone, figure hunched over and staring at the muddy grass beneath him as if it held the answers to his problems. She remembered walking up to him, in her lilac dress already stained with dirt from playing in the garden, and just as she held up a hand and started to speak, he looked up and flinched so hard he rocked back into the bench.
“Hi”, she said, quietly, as if part of her understood just how delicate this boy was, “my name is Lily, Lily Evans, I'm nine and my sister Petunia is over there by the swings. What's your name? You can come play with us if you want.” The words flowed out of her like air escaping a balloon, quick and breathy and just a touch nervous. Her parents always said she talked too fast.
The boy looked at her for a minute or two, as if looking for something, then, seemingly finding it, he nodded and hesitantly slid off the bench, speaking as he went in a voice so quiet that she had to strain to hear it. “I'm Severus. I'd like to play with you.”
Breaking out into a wide smile, Lily offered her hand for him to take, “Great! Here, follow me!” Once he took her hand she started running towards Petunia, skipping and jumping as she went to get rid of some of her excitement.
“Tuney, Tuney look who I found! His name is Severus and he wants to play with us!” Coming to a stop in front of her sister, still holding his hand, she shoved him slightly forward so her sister could get a better look at him.
Petunia looked up in amusement at her sister and her antics, then narrowed her eyes slightly at this new boy. She was at the age where she found boys to be gross and full of germs, and she didnt think any differently of this boy. But Lily seemed to like him, and besides, they probably wouldn't see him again, so she decided to play nice.
**********
The next time Lily can remember seeing Severus was after she had just turned eleven. She had gotten her Hogwarts letter telling her she was a witch and suddenly a lot of things made sense. After the initial celebration and shock, she had gone to the old tree where her and Severus always met up. She was nervously pacing, the letter clutched tightly between her hands, when he showed up. He looked at her, then at the letter in her hands, and broke out into the widest grin she'd seen yet. “You got it. I knew it. I knew it! I knew you were special!” He rushed up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her pacing, and after scanning her face, searching again for something unknown, he pulled her into a hug. It wasn't her first time hugging him, but it was the first time they'd done so without a slight flinch from him.
Pulling back, she finally looked up to meet his still smiling face, and said, “You got one too?” He nodded, too excited for words, and then they were hugging again and spinning each other around, laughing.
“You did it Lils, you're a witch.” He whispered to her later that day, as they were laying next to each other under the tree.
“You did it too. You're a wizard Sev.” She whispered back.
Looking back, that was the happiest she would see him be in a long time.
*******
The next time she saw him was by accident. She had been on her way to class, and was passing by the bathrooms, when she heard muffled crying. She turned and entered the boys bathroom, and found him standing, looking into the dirty mirror, trying desperately to wipe his tears away.
“Sev?” She asked, in that same quiet tone she had used when they were nine. Just like last time, he flinched, hard.
“Go away Lils, I'm fine.” He bit out, breathy and shaky. In fact, all of him was shaking, from his voice to his hands to his legs.
“Are you okay?” She asked, ignoring his dismissal. She started to walk towards him but he only moved backwards, so she stopped. That's when she noticed the red welt on his face.
“Sev,” she started, voice quiet and careful, “who did this to you?”
He flinched again, and then, his face turning into a scowl, replied, “Nobody. I tripped.” The poor excuse hung heavy in the echoing bathroom. “It doesn't matter anyway.” He tried.
“Fine.” She said, knowing she wouldn't get it out of him this conversation, “At least let me take you to the hospital wing.”
“Fine.” He conceded, taking the compromise.
*******
“I don't know why you won't let me just talk to them?!” She said, trying to contain her frustration. It was third year, and she now knew who had given Sev that welt back in first.
“Because Lils, it won't matter. They'll just get a slap on the wrist and come back even worse.” He reasoned, then sighed, as if this was a common argument of theirs. It was, but she was determined to change the outcome this time.
Taking his hand and spinning him so that he was facing her, she pleaded, “Please Sev, just let me talk to McGonagall. She won't stand for this, and she'll make sure they get off with more than just a ‘slap on the wrist'.”
He looked at her, eyes searching her face for what seemed like the millionth time, and then nodded.
He was always searching, always looking for something in her, she just hoped that he could always find it.
********
It was fifth year, and they were fighting more than ever before. She didn't know what to do to fix it, but damn if she wasn't trying.
It was a nice day, and a weekend, so almost everybody was out on the grounds. The sun was bright and shining, and as such, she could see him coming from a mile away, dressed in all black as he was.
She stood up and said, “What do you want Severus?”
He stood nervously, looking not fifteen but nine, and she had to pinch herself to keep focus. “I-I was wondering if we could talk.” He stuttered out.
“Have you changed your mind?” She asked, feeling terrible for the cold tone in her voice.
“No but I-” he started but she raised a hand and he stopped.
“Then I don't see what we have to talk about.” She replied, managing to keep her voice cold despite the tears threatening to rise.
He looked at her, his eyes once again searching, and for once she felt like she couldn't give him what he wanted to find, and he must have felt that way too, because he nodded and dropped his gaze, turning to walk away.
********
The next time she saw him was unknowingly her last.
She was walking down Diagon and heard the sounds of a fight, so she went to investigate. What she found wasn't a fight, at least not a fair one.
There were two people beating up a third. As she got closer she saw that one of them was the owner of the Leaky, and heard flashes of conversation.
“-think you're doing? Loitering outside my pub like I don't know what kind of filth you are?” He was red-faced, angry, and was just about to draw his wand when she interuppted.
“Oi!” She yelled, wand out and pointed it him, “Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!” He dropped the figure, nodded to the second guy, and they apparated off.
“Sorry about that, are you okay?” She started asking as she knelt down next to-, “Oh my god Sev!” She exclaimed.
“Lils?” He asked, confused.
“Yeah Sev, it's me.” She comforted, casting some quick spells to clean and heal him up.
“What were you even doing around here?” She asked.
“Nothing, just some bussiness.” He deflected, shaking his head and standing up. “Look it was great to see you but I've got to go. I-I'm sorry, I, I've got to go. Business.”
“Wait, no, Sev-”, she started, getting up to follow him, but then she heard the crack of apparition and he was gone.