Find Yourself

It was certainly sad, Harry thought, that the most upfront and honest person in his life was his own House Elf. While Kreacher did not know why Harry showed up on the Tapestry as Sirius’ son, he did suggest making a potion that would show Harry his relatives on both sides of the family. Right now he had two main ideas.

Idea number one was that he was the son of Lily and James, but Sirius blood adopted him at some point.

Or idea number two, somehow his parents were Lily and Sirius.

Harry personally hoped it was option number one because he did not want his mother to be a cheater like Ginny. As a last resort, he did still have the Resurrection stone. So if worse came to worst, he would try summoning their souls and asking directly, though the young man really hoped he wouldn’t have to. The Deathly Hallows still gave him the creeps.

Getting all the ingredients required a lot of shopping and not just in Diagon Alley. Some things needed to be bought fresh and so Harry went to visit Neville, where he was told that his former classmate actually moved to a place called Nevarah. Harry’s never heard of it and felt a little hurt because it happened a few years ago and he didn’t know about it. Luckily for his most immediate problem though, the greenhouse was kept maintained and the elderly Lady Augusta didn’t mind giving him the herbs he was looking for.

Harry returned back to Grimmauld Place after spending a few hours catching up with the old witch. He felt decidedly weird. Now that he thought about it, with the exception of Ron, Ginny, and Hermione, he hadn’t talked to any of the people he attended Hogwarts with in literal years. He would do better, he decided, but not now.

Now he needed to find out for sure whose child he was. This was the important part. He wished he’d done it back when Snape made them brew a family potion, but as they say, hindsight was twenty-twenty. And his eyes were bad to begin with.

As if on cue, his vision blurred and Harry reached up to take off his glasses. It has been happening for years now. Ever since the Final Battle in fact. Every now and again he was able to see without his glasses. It started with random times, maybe once a month, but now it was happening at least once a week and the periods of time he could spend without glasses grew longer. Molly once told him to go see a healer, but timing being what it was, Harry reckoned it was connected to him no longer housing the horcrux, or maybe even his death, brief as it was.

Leaving his glasses close by but out of the way, Harry listened as the portrait of Walburga Black refreshed what he could vaguely remember about this potion from his sixth year at Hogwarts. Harry reached his hand for the next ingredient and almost jumped out of his skin when Kreacher smacked his hand. “What the fuck?!” he exclaimed indignantly, eyeing the Elf in shock.

“Kreacher doesn’t know about Master Black, but Kreacher does not want to be blown up.” Came the cranky reply. Harry cleared his throat awkwardly and glanced at the portrait guiltily.

“Maybe you should not leave your glasses behind. Your eyesight can be improved with a potion, but exercising won’t do much to help.” Came the sarcastic reply of the dead witch in the painting.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, but in reality was only a couple hours, the potion was finished. All that remained now was adding Harry’s blood to it.

“Remember, 3 drops. No more, no less.” Walburga reminded from the safety of the frame on the opposite side of the room.

Harry rolled his eyes at her, “Yes, yes, I can manage that much without fucking up.”

“You are Lord Black now, no matter how you inherited the title. You should really work on your vocabulary.”

The aforementioned young Lord Black made a face. He did not particularly want to strut about the place like Lucius Malfoy used to, but perhaps she had a point.

With bated breath: the wizard, the portrait, and the House Elf, watched as the necessary 3 drops of blood fell into the potion. For a moment their vision was obscured by a plume of deep purple smoke. Harry eagerly leaned closer. He frowned as he stared at the results written in neat cursive letters that were all but glowing in the cloud of purple.

Hayden ‘Harry’ Canis Potter-Black, Lord Black.

Parents: Lillian Evanson, Regulus Black, Charlus Potter, Sirius Black.

Godparents: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Alice Longbottom, Frank Longbottom.

Godson: Edward ‘Teddy’ Lupin-Black.

“Errr…” He did not sound particularly like a Lord at that moment. “I don’t think this worked.”

Kreacher eyed his Master: “Master should have let Kreacher do the brewing.”

Walburga looked at Harry intently, she knew he had to have some sort of creature blood for his results to come up with 4 people listed as parents. But then perhaps the young Lord did indeed make a faulty potion, that was certainly much more preferable.

Harry rolled his eyes at the Elf’s sass, “Right, next time you can do the brewing, Kreacher.”

“You could check the Potter tapestry, but if I remember right it was inside the Potter Manor.”

Harry all but pouted, “Of course it would be. And of course, I need it now when I can’t access the place anymore.” He sighed. “Just my luck.”

“Kreacher is not sure this can be called ‘luck’.” Muttered the House Elf under his breath.

Harry absently raised his hand and scratched at the base of his neck: “Perhaps I should go to Gringotts again and ask them to make a new one? They could do that right?”

“For a price.” Agreed the painted likeness of the former Lady Black.

Harry yawned, “I’ll do that then. But maybe tomorrow. A nap sounds really nice right about now.”

Kreacher followed after the green eyed wizard with a concerned frown. His Master has been sleeping quite a lot recently and despite that he got tired really quickly. “Does Master not need to go to work tomorrow?”

Harry gave the small creature a smile that in all actuality looked more like a grimace, “Ah, right. It’s Monday tomorrow, isn’t it?” Kreacher gave a silent nod, which made his Master slump a little as he continued speaking. “I suppose I won’t be able to avoid Ron tomorrow.” He grumbled as he entered the bedroom and all but collapsed into the comforter.

Kreacher’s big ears flapped about as he shook his head at his Master’s lack of decorum. He clicked his fingers and covered the young Lord with the blanket he had collapsed on top of. Harry sleepily curled up around a pillow and nuzzled into it.

In the opinion of one Luna Elizabeth Lovegood, knowing the future sucked. Doubly so if all she ever got was snippets of events based completely on the decisions people in her life make. On the plus side though, she would finally be able to join her daddy and Rolf in Nevarah. Things were almost ready. She looked through the books on the shelf, selecting a few her friend would soon need to read. “Yes, these will do quite nicely.” She muttered under her breath. “I only wish he wasn’t quite so allergic to reading.”

A sparkle caught her attention. “Oh, and that. Must not forget that. How would he get there if I forgot this?”

Unaware of all the plans Luna was making for him, Harry made his way into Kingsley’s office. ‘If I’m lucky, this will at least help me avoid Ron for a little bit more.’ He thought as he closed the door behind him.

“Good morning, Minister.” He tried to sound as casual as possible, but he couldn’t be sure if he succeeded or not. All he got for his efforts was a thoroughly unimpressed raised eyebrow. “Good morning to you too, Auror Potter. Do I need to explain, or can you guess why you are here?”

Harry looked around the room feigning innocence as well as he could, “Whatever it was, I didn’t do it.”

“Very funny, Harry.” The Minister of Magic replied with a relatively amused eyeroll. “Is everything okay? What did the healers say?”

For a moment the question threw the young wizard for a loop. And then it came back to him. When he thought back on it, it was really rather ridiculous. Only two days passed since his last conversation with Kingsley and yet it felt like it was a lifetime ago.
“Sorry, Minister.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Things sort of happened and I didn’t get around to actually going to Saint Mungo’s.”

Kingsley Shacklebolt got out of his seat and came to stand close to his Auror. “Things happened?” He put his hands on the young man’s shoulders and made sure Harry couldn’t look away as he usually did when the conversation turned uncomfortable.
Potter cleared his throat and did his best to avoid looking Kingsley in the eye, “Yeah, don’t worry, it’s not going to affect…”

“Harry, that’s not the point.” The dark skinned male interrupted him gently. “It is important enough that you skipped the health check even though you know I won’t let you out into the field unless you pass it. Talk to me, Harry. What can I do to help you?”
Hesitant green eyes crept up to meet his calm dark ones. “I … don’t want to make extra problems for you, Sir. It’s … personal.”

Kingsley let go of him with a sigh and leaned against his desk. “Okay, I can understand that. Then I will give you two weeks off. Will this be enough time for you to settle the issue and go for that health check?”

Harry sighed. It was unfortunate, but it looked like he wasn’t going to get out of the trip to the healers. At least he now had a valid excuse for not being in the office for two weeks. “Thank you, Minister. That sounds perfect.” He headed for the door and was almost there, when the man called out from behind him: “It’s Kingsley, Potter. Use it!”

“Of course, Minister.” Was his cheerful retort. He regarded the bald wizard as a friend, how could he not? They fought a war together. So in his mind, he did refer to the man as ‘Kingsley’, but never out loud. Simply because it annoyed the adult.

“Moooom, I didn’t mean to.” Whined one Ginevra Weasley looking at her mother with large pleading eyes.

Molly, however, was unmoved. “It’s fine for you to say that, but this can ruin everything. Dumbledore said that-”

“Dumbledore is dead, Mom!” Ginevra snapped in annoyance. “He’s not here to tell us what to do and how to behave anymore.”

“Watch your tone, Ginevra.” Molly could feel fire starting to stir in her veins. “The Headmaster always cared about our family and did all he could to help us.”

“That’s your take on things, Mother.” The younger redhead rolled her eyes. “If it wasn’t for the potion I would have never married Harry.”

Her response made her mother shake her head in barely concealed disgust, “While we’re on that topic, he would not have married YOU if not for the potion either.”

Their burgeoning argument was cut short when Ron came into the room, one arm reaching for a piece of toast, while the other one was trapped somewhere inside his robe. “Can you two not do this? I’ll talk to Harry at work today and everything will be fine.”

Ginny narrowed her eyes, “We’re in this together, Ronald. Sure, what I did was bad, but at least I was never friends with him for the sake of money.”

Her brother snorted and his retort earned him a smack on the head from his mother. “No, indeed all you were interested in was marrying Lord Potter. It had nothing at all to do with money, sure.”

For the first time in many years, Molly Weasley née Prewitt regretted leaving Nevarah. That these are her children must be her karma, she was sure of it.

Having suddenly gained a lot of free time, Harry wandered through Diagon Alley for awhile, simply enjoying the ability to walk around and not being yanked around from one shop to the next. He took note of new shops that sprung up where he remembered the ruins of the old ones. It was unfortunate, but it did seem like the last four years of his life really consisted of nothing but a whirlwind of Auror missions, paperwork, and Ginny. They would spend their time in between his missions together. But something certainly changed over time.

If Harry was honest with himself, and after everything he had found out recently it was certainly a good idea to be as candid as possible at the least in the privacy of his own mind, the change was creeping. One rather slow and gradual. It seemed like it started after the wedding. Before they were Married, Ginny would leap at the chance to spend his off days together with him, doing whatever he was in the mood for. After Marriage, it was him accompanying her on big shopping sprees and buying whatever she wanted, even though Harry failed to see the reason for the overindulgence. In his opinion, they had everything they needed.

The change really became noticeable during the last year or so as whenever he came back home, she was always tired after training. Harry didn't mind as he often wasn’t much ‘in the mood’ so to say, and he much preferred napping when he could so her excuses didn't bother him.

All things considered, her finding a lover was not really all that hard to understand and he would have even forgiven her for it if she had not lied to him.

Children were the one thing that Harry dearly wanted. Ever since he was a small child himself, his biggest dream, when he dared to think of a life beyond Voldemort, was having a family of his own. In his mind his imagined family was perfect, loving, and he would do anything for the sake of it. Unfortunately, as Harry Potter was in the process of discovering, dreams and reality don’t always go hand in hand.

Now… he needed to decide what he would do.