Chapter 26
Ardeth felt the bed next to him. Empty. He sighed when he smelled chocolate and bread. Hermione was baking croissants again. She always picked the most complicated recipes when the worst dreams came upon her.
Ardeth had grossly underestimated what Hermione had meant by only sleeping two days a week. He had thought on some level she was exaggerating… In actuality, Hermione was being optimistic. Every night, Hermione would wait for Ardeth to fall asleep and then go through the night reading or brewing or if the memories were haunting her, baking. And Ardeth tried to influence Hermione to sleep more. The first few months he would wake up constantly and immediately pull her back to bed…. but Ardeth had also grossly underestimated how unbelievably stubborn Hermione could be.
Ardeth had felt like smacking himself. Hermione had clearly shown that she was more than capable of sticking to her guns and avoiding him for eleven straight years without even a single drop of sweat. He should have known that even though they were married and beginning to share their lives, Hermione would be just as stubborn and set in the way she lived regardless of them being married. Ardeth’s father had certainly been right… Ardeth was NOT ready to get married all those years ago. And hadn’t even possessed even an ounce of the patience he was implementing on a daily basis for the health of his marriage.
Ardeth pushed himself into a sitting position and made his way over to the kitchen. Hermione was beautiful with her messy hair and robe rolling and re-rolling the chocolate through the dough. Harry meowed at Ardeth in greeting as he entered and Hermione startled slightly.
“I woke you up again,” Hermione said with a sigh.
“You were asleep for once,” Ardeth said calmly. “I assume you had another nightmare. Will you tell me today?” That was the other difficulty Ardeth had encountered. Hermione was a talker, but not a talker of the past. It pained her. She preferred to speak about magical theories Ardeth had no hope of understanding or the Magi’s latest efforts to fortify the tombs with the help of the goblins. But, over time, Ardeth had realized that the surest way of slowly learning those secrets was to ask when the memories were already at the surface.
“I…” Hermione sagged her shoulders and placed a cooling charm over the dough to harden up the butter. “I was at the battle of Hogwarts.” She wiped her hands and covered the dough with a towel before sitting across from Ardeth at their dinner table. “And… I couldn’t save anyone I already knew was going to die. And I tried to save the same people over and over and over again with the same result. No matter what I did… Collin was still lying dead in the great hall. Fred was still buried in rubble. The only difference being that Beatrice Lestrange didn’t die. She just…. Got right back up with that horrific cackle of hers and struck down everyone. Harry stayed dead. Neville was tortured to insanity like his parents. The Weasley family became death eaters. I woke up just as I was about to be torn to shreds by Fenrir Greyback after Ron shoved me at him.” Hermione was no longer looking at Ardeth. Her head was down and her hands shielding her from view. Ardeth could see the tears dropping down on the table. Ardeth wanted nothing more than to comfort Hermione in these moments, but he couldn’t. Not until she was ready, and not until she had said her piece. Hermione needed to talk through it or the horrors would never leave her mind. When Hermione didn’t venture forth with more information, Ardeth finally took her hand and spoke an idea that had been creeping into his mind over the last few months.
“How about… you give the memories to someone else?” Ardeth said cautiously. Hermione wiped the tears away the best she could before looking at Ardeth in confusion. Ardeth couldn’t mean using a pensive. Hermione hadn’t told him what one was yet. So…
“What do you mean?” Hermione said in tired confusion.
“Write a story… your story. And… give the memory to someone else. So, they are not yours anymore,” Ardeth knew that Hermione was skeptical. She was doing that annoying eyebrow thing of hers.
“You think writing a character that has my memories will make things better?”
“Or change the ending to make things better. Just… make the memories leave your mind,” Ardeth said soothingly. “They are crowding your brain. Torturing you. MAKE them leave.” Hermione pursed her lips.
“Wouldn’t that just make me think of them more?” Hermione said quietly.
“Or it could help you detach from them,” Ardeth said persuasively. “And, if you want to, it could be a good way of telling me and anyone else you would like to tell your story without having to retell it over and over again… Someone like… Evelyn?” Hermione winced. They had not seen Evelyn since the Battle with the Army of Anubis and their wedding, but they would see them soon. And Hermione was not going to like the interrogation that followed. Hermione had been carefully avoiding certain questions in Evelyn’s letters. But…. Evelyn was not the type of woman to be denied. And if she had the promise of the information she wanted in a book…. It would certainly give Hermione the time she needed to hold her at bay.
“Alright. I’ll try,” Hermione finally said with resignation.
“That’s all I ask,” Ardeth bumped his head against hers. “Why don’t you finish your croissants… and we can go to bed and drive away the memories?” Ardeth’s eyes twinkled with promise and Hermione grinned.
“Or…” Hermione stood and gave Ardeth a deep kiss. “I can finish the croissants after instead of you trying to trick me into going back to sleep after helping me… forget.”
“I would never!”
“Whatever you say my love.”
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Hermione fit into the tribe seamlessly. Once Hemrione grew comfortable with them, she effortlessly carved her own role with ease.
“Alright, Father-in-Law of mine. It is time to check in on that chest injury of yours.” Adham looked at his daughter-in-law in surprise.
“What is there to check? I am fine as a horse.”
“Really?” Hermione said sarcastically. “Your wife and son say that your stamina is not what it should be. And that after what happened with Laknah that even a long ride is difficult for you.”
“And yet Basma will tell you that it doesn’t stop me from having ‘long rides’.” Basma blushed as she smacked Adham on the back of the head.
“She is a witch, you stubborn man. Hermione has looked at every other person in the village… and it is YOUR TURN. I suggest you do so if you don’t want Fiteer Baladi for dinner.” Adham glowered at his wife before groaning.
“Blackmailed by my own family! Maybe Terrence is right. Not marrying is certainly sounding appealing.”
“Oh is it?” Adham immediately stood and ushered Hermione out of the tent at Basma’s terrifying look.
“Well, we should go to your tent for my examination so that Basma can have some alone time!” Hermione followed Adham in amusement.
“Your self preservation skills could use some sharpening up,” Hermione grinned before entering her tent. Ardeth was sat with scrolls and nodded politely to his Father.
“They finally got you to agree?” Ardeth smirked.
“Under protest!” Adham groaned before sitting down on their couch. After several diagnosis spells Hermione looked at Adham in angry concern.
“As impressed as I am by your capabilities to walk around with a damaged lung, you are a moron!” Adham didn’t even have the chance to exclaim in surprise. Hermione simply began administering spells and giving him vials to drink and by the end of it… Adham felt like a new person. The everpresent ache… was gone. All the pain was gone. He felt like a new man. And that new man was enduring his wife whacking him repeatedly with one of his son’s scrolls.
“THAT IS WHY YOU LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE!” Adham shielded his face from her whack as Hermione and Ardeth just watched on in amusement. “Stubborn old man! Moron! Idiot! Ass!”
“I thought most wives were always respectful to the point of absurdity?” Hermione whispered to Ardeth.
“Mostly in public,” Ardeth grinned. “Or if the husband believes in beheading his wife for bad behavior…. We don’t believe in that in our tribe!” Ardeth held his hands up in defense as Hermione looked at him murderously.
“Are you bloody kidding me?!”
“Why don’t we leave my parents to enjoy my Father’s newfound youth?” Ardeth said in a desperate plea to change the subject.
“We are not done talking about this,” Hermione said in warning. She took out some vials and placed them on the table. “When you are done,” Hermione said loudly, catching her In-Laws attention. “Drink these tomorrow. We’ll see you then and I’ll check up on you.”
“Thank you so much Hermione!” Basma rushed forward to give Hermione a hug. “Why don’t we meet for tea tomorrow?”
“I would love to,” Hermione said earnestly. “Don’t do anything strenuous until I clear you, Adham!” Hermione said with a finger in Adham’s direction. He looked about to protest when Basma raised the scroll again in warning.
“Alright, Alright! I waited for years. What’s a few days more?”
“Good,” Hermione nodded and stepped through the magical door that led to their home in Cairo. She did not wait a second before letting her onslaught come forth as Ardeth closed the door behind them. “BEHEADING THEIR WIVES!?” Ardeth sighed. The cultural differences was one of the struggles he could have easily done without.
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When Hermione decided to do something, it was NEVER half assed. When Hermione decided to take over the medical care of the entire village? No one escaped. When she finally decided to take Ardeth’s advice and write a book to release her memories? Hermione had that book written within a month. Hermione made a magical garden with future endangered creatures. Read books constantly. Bartered with the goblins for the curse assistance within the tombs. Ardeth had honestly not known what their life would become when he got married, but it was utterly amazing in ways he could never have dreamed up on his own. And when the O’Connells finally came for their promised visit, Ardeth was delighted that Hermione had listened to his suggestion and handed over her book before Evelyn could start her crusade for information.
“Read. Then we talk. Alex!” Hermione engulfed Alex in a hug along with Rick and Jonathon. “Let’s go to our home! I’m sure you will love the changes we have made. Rick, I know you will love our garden.”
“Not much for gardening,” Rick said with puzzlement.
“It’s more what’s living in my garden that I think will acquire the bulk of your attention,” Hermione said with a twinkle in her eyes. It had not escaped her notice that Rick had spent several hours perusing the Monster Book of Monsters. Evelyn had commented on it many times in her letters because Rick had never spent any real time reading before he possessed the book. In all honesty, Hermione had mostly started developing the garden for their benefit. And also for Ardeth. Hermione was hesitant to bring them to the magical world and had decided instead to bring the magical world to them. And the garden… was becoming quite the garden indeed.
Hermione’s whomping willow was still a baby, but you could see the occasional mischievous pixie flying through the air. Hermione was planning on inviting centaurs from endangered lands and making a safe area for a dragon rescue… but those would take time. Maybe… once she had children to help her… Hermione would have those. Alex and Rick were delighted to encounter the chore of gnome throwing. Ardeth had been baffled when Hermione had introduced him to it, but regularly did so every morning without question. As of yet, Hermione was still working on acquiring and rescuing and building… but it was a dream she hoped very much to attain.
Alex was having the time of his life politely bowing to Henry the ladder, climbing up, and then sliding down the stairs. Jonathon still hadn’t convinced the ladder to let him up and spent several minutes chasing it before plopping with a tired sigh down on the couch next to the reading Evelyn. Hermione was sipping her coffee and chatting peacefully with Rick on the creatures she hoped to save when Evelyn finally sat down next her with a somber look, and placed the book down in front of her.
“I don’t know how you sleep at all,” Evelyn said quietly.
“Writing the book helped tremendously. Ardeth’s idea,” Hermione smiled wryly into her cup. Evelyn sighed and gripped Hermione in a tight hug.
“I am so so sorry, Hermione.” Hermione immediately hugged Evelyn back. And just sat there. It was all so much better now.
“There is nothing to be sorry about. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t happened. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.”
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“It is tradition, Terence,” Adham said with calm boredom as his brother banged around his study angrily.
“Tradition be damned! I’m not going to the witch’s home to tell her she is having a baby. She will probably set that infernal book of hers on me. Or the pixies! You cannot tell me you have forgotten the incident with the pixies?”
“I have not forgotten,” Adham smirked. “Hermione introduced me to her magical camera just before the blessed event and I can look at you screeching and running away from the blue devils any day I please. Would you like a copy?”
“NO!” Terrence should have known it was all futile. He stood in the decrepit ally arguing with his brother about what good reading a piece of paper would do if they were supposedly already there despite all his protests.
“I swear, brother of mine, you are going to experience literal heart palpitations when you see the inside.” Terence finally sighed and read the paper. When he looked up… Adham snickered at the slack jawed expression on his face. “I also did you a favor and selected a gift for you to present to the mother to be. Terence finally looked away from the eye boggling sight to take the black bag in his hand. Terence cursed as the bag moved as it was passed over.
“What the bloody hell is it?!”
“Well,” Adham said as he walked up to the door. “Since you couldn’t be bothered to do it yourself, you will have to find out when she opens it.” Terrence looked at the bag askance and held it a distance away from himself as his nephew opened the door.
“Father! You managed to drag Uncle here! I see you must have taken my suggestion for your gift?” Ardeth grinned at his Uncle’s clear disgruntlement with amusement.
“He doesn’t know,” Adham whispered.
“Well, if you followed my suggestions,” Ardeth whispered. “He isn’t going to like it anymore when it is out of the bag.”
“What in Alla’s beard is in the bag, Ardeth?!” Terence was promptly ignored.
“Please come in!” Ardeth said cheerily. Adham just pushed Terence through the door and shut it behind him when he stopped in amazement at the beautiful home within. “You are also the first to know Father. We are having a boy!” Adham didn’t even question his son how he just immediately began hugging him joyfully.
“Marvelous!” Terence set down the bag and tried to sit in a spindly chair in shock but fell right on his ass when it walked right out from under him. Adham and Ardeth drew Hermione’s attention with their booming laughs.
“How…Why….” Terrance couldn’t even get anything out. As Hermione walked in, he was able to bolster up some of his usual attitude. “Why would you bewitch a chair to move?!” Hermione smiled serenely and bowed politely to the chair that had escaped Terence and primly sat down in it.
“Well… Partially because there were moving stairs at my magical school of Hogwarts. But… I always loved and was intrigued by the stories of Beauty and the Beast with sentient candles and chairs and wardrobes. So…. I made the majority of the furniture sentient. I am very pleased with the results. If you don’t bow to Joseppi…. He doesn’t really feel inclined to let you sit on him. The couch is an earlier acquisition. So, not bewitched if you would like assurance that it will not try to escape you.” Terrence got up and approached the couch with trepidation. He poked it and jumped back and all the furniture creaked in amusement. Terence sagged with relief when he sat down and the couch didn’t do anything unusual.
“We have brought you a congratulatory gift!” Adham said with ill concealed amusement as he picked up the fallen bag. Hermione cocked her head curiously as it moved in her hands.
“I sure as hell hope you didn’t stuff a falcon in here. It will be pissed when it comes out.” Hermione immediately began talking sweetly to the battered and irate orange cat that popped out of the bag. “Oh sweety!”
“It was hell catching that thing let me tell you,” Adham said. “Ardeth said you appreciate the more difficult strays and would prefer an orange cat if I could manage it.” Hermione gave Ardeth a look as he grinned.
“Very funny, Ardeth. I suppose the cat’s name must be Ronald now mustn’t it? Thank you, Father. Thank you, Uncle. I’m sure Harry will appreciate a companion.” Ardeth was not at all surprised when Hermione completely ignored the rest of them and immediately began treating the wild cat and washing him and feeding him treats.
“Was it really that difficult to catch him?” Ardeth said curiously.
“I had to dive on top of him with the bag.” Terence got up curiously and poked the stair.
“It doesn’t move does it?” Terrence asked his nephew suspiciously.
“No,” Ardeth smiled innocently. “It doesn’t move.” It wasn’t long before Terence was screeching with alarmas he slid head first down the slide.
“You said it didn’t move!” Terrence accused as he wiped down his robes and glared viciously at his nephew.
“It doesn’t,” Ardeth argued. “It just turns into a slide if anyone male tries to walk up it. There is a ladder over there.” Terence grumbled and approached the ladder only to screech as it moved out from under his hand. “You must ask Henry politely if you wish to go up him.”
“Screw this witch's tomfoolery!”
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“Stop trying to pacify me!”
“I’m just trying to help you calm down,” Ardeth said to Hermione soothingly.
“Well quit it,” Hermione growled.
“Knock, knock!” Rick froze at the feeling of hostility through the air. “So… how’s the pregnancy going?”
“Just peachy!” Hermione spat out.
“I’ll just send Evelyn in,” Rick said before turning tail and running.
“You are scaring our friends, Hermione,” Ardeth sighed. Ardeth immediately regretted it when Hermione looked at him like she wanted nothing more than to eviscerate him. “Do you want snacks?” Ardeth said hopefully and was relieved when Hermione brightened.
“Chocolate and dried fish?” Hermione smiled.
“Whatever you wish, my love. What would you like to drink?”
“Camel milk.”
“I’ll get it right away.” Ardeth went to the kitchen and immediately shook his head at the bizarre mix of ingredients.
“Are those what the old girl is craving?” Jonathon said from where he was sipping firewhiskey.
“Not a word from you,” Ardeth threatened. “The way Hermione is now could have been the only thing we needed to defeat the Scorpion King…and all three waves of the Anubis Army.”
“Is that our tea?” Evelyn called out as she walked in with Rick and Alex through the front door and raised her eyebrows. “Pregnancy cravings?” Evelyn questioned with a chuckle. “Is there tea also?”
“I’ll make it. Go visit the pregnant woman and bring this as offering,” Ardeth said dryly.
“She is pregnant. Not a goddess you are making sacrifices too,” Evleyn snorted, but took the tray anyway.
“That’s because she didn’t see the look Hermione gave me. I thought fire was going to shoot from her eyes,” Rick whispered as he sat down and grabbed a glass of firewhiskey.
“Was mum like that when she was pregnant with me?” Alex said curiously.
“Nope. She just kept on doing insanely dangerous things,” Rick said with a tired sigh. “Going on digs. Stocking books on the ladder in the library. And heaven forbid you tried to stop her. Prepare to be whacked senseless in that case.”
“My romp has never felt the same,” Jonathon said seriously. Ardeth finished preparing the tea and made his way to the bedroom. May Allah get him through this alive.
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“Father… where in the name of Merlin are we going?” Ardeth grinned at his son. He had taken so many of his wife’s mannerisms. Artemis would switch from her accent to Ardeth’s as it pleased him, and Ardeth loved it.
“Your mother is going to have another baby,” Ardeth said simply as they went further and further out of town. “And since your Uncle has sworn never to enter our home again after coming in order to congratulate us when Hermione was pregnant with you, I was tasked by your grandfather to get the family present.”
“What could we buy out here?” Ardeth shook a bag of dried fish and his five year old son immediately started grinning as cats swarmed from every crevice.
“Hermione likes adopting wild cats. Now…find the crankiest one.”
“Wouldn’t she prefer a cuddly one?” Artemis cooed at several of the cats rubbing against him.
“Your Mother prefers to have ones that are more like her. There!” Ardeth dived with an old sack onto a dirt covered cat lurking off to the side staring at the fish longingly but making no attempts to approach. It yowled and growled within the sack, but was not able to escape. Ardeth slipped some fish into the sack and poured the rest on the ground before making his way back to their home. The cat calmed for a second, but immediately began violently going crazy as the fish was clearly done being consumed. Ardeth was actually struggling to keep hold of it as they finally entered their house.
“That puts into perspective the phrase crazy as a bag of cats.” Ardeth smiled lovingly at his wife who was only a few months pregnant. Delightedly with a girl this time.
“How is Minerva Evelyn today?” Ardeth kissed Hermione’s stomach.
“Nausea inducing,” Hermione grimaced. “Let’s see our new friend.” Hermione took the sack, but her eyebrows as the sack continued to be torn violently from the inside. “I think I will head straight to the bath this time and just throw him or her in. I don’t see this one letting us catch him for some time. Let alone for a bath.” After much yowling and cursing from Hermione; a pure white and pissed off cat emerged. Hermione’s drying spell left him comically fluffy because the animal was too irate to let her brush him. Hermione placed his food down and rolled her eyes at its haughtiness. “This one is certainly a Malfoy if I ever saw one.”
“Do you like him?!” Artemis said excitedly. Hermione smiled lovingly and gave her son kiss after kiss as he giggled happily.
“Of course I love him! Thank you so much darling boy!”
“Father said you would like a cat just like you!” Artemis said innocently, and Hermione raised an eyebrow at her son. “A cat like me, you say?”
“Time for your nap, Artemis!” Artemis giggled and laughed as Ardeth grabbed him by the middle to throw him over his shoulder and climbed up the ladder to his room.
“We are not done with this, Ardeth!” Hermione yelled after them warningly.
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“Artemis Adham Bay!” Arty crouched behind his grandfather’s tent as Great Uncle Terence stormed past his hiding place with bright orange hair. He and Mama had a deal. Don’t get caught in the act and she would take the heat for his pranks. Arty had gotten really good really fast at never being caught with his ‘hand in the cookie jar’ as his mother would say. Uncle Terence knew it was him, but there was quite literally nothing he could do to prove it without catching him red handed if Mama always took the blame willingly. His magic manifesting had also helped tremendously and Mama had been more than excited to teach him how to prank the pants off his uncle. Arty stealthily ran to his family tent and picked up a book to immediately begin reading.
“I love Terrence’s new hairdo,” Arty couldn’t hide his smirk as Mama sat down next to him. “Dying it orange was absolutely inspired of me, wasn’t it?”
“It certainly was, Mama.” Artemis looked at his mother fondly. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Lively eyes and subtle streaks of gray in her wild, curly hair.
“So… Artemis… Hazeeb and Mohommed would like to talk to you with your Father,” Hermione said conversationally.
“About what,” Artemis gulped nervously. Hermione took the book he had in his hands and flipped through it nonchalantly, but with a growing smirk.
“Oh… nothing important. Just your and little Farah’s occasional ‘chats’.” Artemis immediately paled.
“That reminds me, Mama… I have some studying to do. And… I need to feed the Kelpie,” Hermione immediately grabbed her son by the collar and forced him to sit back down.
“You are seventeen, Artemis. If you like the girl… you will have to brave her Father and Grandfather.”
“As he should. Sooner rather than later.” Artemis turned positively green as his Father materialized out of nowhere. “Besides, you do not possess your Mother’s skills of evasion; so hiding for 11 years is out of the question.”
“Must you bring that up at every opportunity?” Hermione sighed.
“Yes, dear,” Ardeth grinned. “I must. I can’t have our daughter running off in the same way.”
“Minerva is twelve,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “She is hardly at the age to run away.”
“You can never be too careful,” Ardeth grunted. “Come on, Artemis. You have an intentions lecture to endure. And your Uncle Terrence has insisted on being present. Orange hair or no.” Ardeth dragged his son out despite his protests and Hermione chuckled. Artemis should have known that he would be in for it if he was caught having private meetings with one of the village leader’s daughters. Hermione entered their Cairo home and saw her daughter avidly reading through Hermione's third year books. Hermione closed the book.
“Mama!” Minerva whined.
“You have been reading all night. Don’t think I didn’t notice your light turned on last night after you supposedly ‘went to bed’ after an hour. I invented that trick.” Minerva slumped in defeat as Hermione put the book away. Hermione grabbed a glass of milk and a slice of banana bread and placed it on the table in front of the sulking Minerva. “Eat. Then sleep. Or I put a spell on the books so that you will not be able to read them for a week.”
“You wouldn’t!” Minerva said with scandalized horror. “How will I do my studies?!”
“You will take a short course in camel care and cleaning,” Hermione said with narrowed eyes. “And I know you have learned by now that a camel doesn’t spit so much as accurately shoot projectile stomach juices.” Minerva shuddered and immediately took a huge gulp of milk. “That’s what I thought.” Hermione had already removed all of Minerva’s books from her room and sat down with a tired sigh when she was finally asleep.
“Our son lives!” Ardeth said dramatically as he walked in from their tent.
“He might not be if you leave him alone with Hazeeb and Mohommad,” Hermione said with her eyes still closed.
“His proud grandpa wouldn’t let him die,” Ardeth said with a roll of his eyes before dropping down next to her. “He’ll make sure he lives.”
“Hmmm.”
“Minerva?”
“Asleep.”
“Willingly?” Ardeth said with disbelief. Hermione cracked open an eye.
“With the threat of camel spit and no books for a week.”
“It is your fault we had a daughter that needs to be threatened in order to stop reading,” Ardeth chuckled.
“Yes. I’m aware,” Hermione closed her eyes again. “We need to stock up on magical supplies and start saving as many creatures as we can. The war is going to be here before we know it.” Ardeth turned with worry towards Hermione.
“Voldemort’s first war,” Ardeth said somberly.
“Unfortunately,” Hermione said sadly. Ardeth gripped her hand.
“It’s going to be okay,” Ardeth said soothingly, but Hermione looked at him seriously.
“It won’t…. but I know there is nothing we can really do about that. Not without unknown consequences.”
“No. We can’t.” Hermione laid her head on his shoulder. At least they were safe. The O’Conell’s were safe. They would all get through it.
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“Minerva! I love a good book as much as you, but if there is a place you should not be reading… Your brother’s wedding is the place.”
“People are boring Mama!” Minerva whined. Hermione sighed. Sixteen and Minerva was more like Hermione than ever.
“Your uncle is boring! Hermione! Your daughter said I was boring,” Jonathon said dramatically. Minerva rolled her eyes in that way that only teenagers could, and Hermione chuckled before taking away her daughter's purse and replacing it with one that was pretty, not bottomless, and certainly incapable of carrying any books.
“An intelligent woman can entertain herself even amongst the most dull and monotonous people in existence. Think of it as a challenge.” Minerva groaned one more time before she was shoved in the door that led to their tent.
Terence Bay was cursing his existence. He didn’t understand when it happened, but at some point he had turned into the unofficial officiant of the tribe. He was yet again standing next to his great nephew waiting for little Farah to walk down the aisle with a scary goblin on his right. His actual nephew was sitting with his cursed wife and sulking daughter. Where had he gone wrong in life?
“That could be you soon,” Jonathon teased his niece.
“She is far too young to think about marriage, Jonathon!” Evelyn chastised in a whisper.
“And whoever she marries better also be too young to die,” Ardeth said lowly.
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Baheel sweated terribly underneath Chieftain Ardeth’s steely gaze. He just had to fall for Minerva Bay! Hermione just watched in amusement as the man that had finally gotten her daughters attention was finally sitting in their tent requesting their approval. Every Bay male including her grandfather, uncle, and brother were staring him down deciding whether or not to crush him like a bug. Ali watched his son with sympathy and amusement. He knew the Bays better than anyone. The third degree of his son was more a formality and safety measure than it was an actual decision. As long as Baheel didn’t make a run for it, Hermione would make sure her daughter’s decision was respected. Hermione just more than likely thought that it was hilarious.
“So…” Ardeth began menacingly. “You wish to marry my only daughter, Baheel?”
“Yes, chief. I admire her very much,” Baheel gulped nervously.
“And what do you have to offer her?” Adham said stoicly. Baheel felt his heart beating out of his chest.
“I…. dedication… love,” Baheel said a bit desperately. Hermione smiled. There really wasn’t much more he could say to convince her. Baheel had never been to the brothels. Was very good natured and shy like his Father. Dedicated. Had admired Hermione’s oblivious daughter for years before Minerva had caught onto the fact that Baheel was the only one listening when she talked excitedly about her books. Was always there to help take care of the animals in their garden. Never became frustrated or angry with the oddities of their home. In fact, Baheel had earned the love of the entire house because he had figured out each and every sentient piece of furniture and would politely greet each one upon entering.
“I am satisfied,” Hermione said with a grin before standing up and giving her husband a kiss. “Try not to make the poor boy crap his pants,” she whispered in his ear before walking away. Hermione walked into their home to her daughter with a frown, petting Draconius, and no book in hand. Draconius had attached himself to her daughter when she was born and loved no one else except her and eventually Baheel. “No book? How shocking.” Minerva rolled her eyes.
“That is rich coming from you, Mother.” Hermione grinned and went into the kitchen.
“Tea? Coffee?” Hermione called out. She didn’t receive an answer, but walked out with coffee sweetened with honey just as Minerva liked it.
“What if they say no?” Minerva asked worriedly.
“Please!” Hermione snorted. “It would be like refusing a puppy.”
“Baheel is not a puppy, Mother,” Minerva sighed in frustration.
“He is a man?” Hermione grinned deviously and Minerva blushed a bright red in response. “Sweetheart… Baheel has integrity that we all see on a daily basis. He is no stranger and we all know he worships the ground you walk on. And, more importantly, Baheel is fully aware that you will curse his dick off if he ever dares to step out on you or treat you badly. There is really nothing for us or you to worry about. The men in the family just think it’s funny.” Minerva was grinning proudly by the end, and jumped up in excitement when Baheel finally walked through the door with a big grin.
“We are getting married!” Minerva jumped into Baheel’s arms with excitement and kissed him soundly.
“My eyes!” Artemis yelled from the tent behind them and Minerva flipped him off resulting in roars of laughter.
_________________
“Evelyn… what are those supposed to be?” Hermione was supremely happy to have the O’Connell’s and Jonathon back in her neck of the woods. They had finally retired to Cairo and Hermione had seen more of them than ever. And still with Hermione’s stimulating company, Evelyn had clearly been getting bored.
“Don’t be deliberately obtuse Hermione! They are clearly scones,” Evelyn scoffed as she walked in.
“Really?” Hermione drawled. “I thought they were the remnants of a once magnificent meteor that was set aflame on its journey to the Earth’s surface.”
“I am learning Hermione,” Evelyn huffed.
“You’ve been learning for months,” Hermione deadpanned. “Why don’t you admit that you need something else to do? Doesn’t the museum need your assistance?”
“Unfortunately,” Evelyn sniffed. “...Terence chose a predecessor in his own image and instructed him not to let me near the place without strict supervision.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Hermione chuckled. “Well… come help me then.”
“Help you with what?!” Evelyn exclaimed dramatically. “You are a witch! There is nothing around your house I can do. The house practically… no DOES clean itself!” Evelyn pointed at a broom making its way without assistance across the kitchen. “I could help your children take care of the magical animals, but the centaurs do most of the work now. What could I possibly do?”
“Help me with my research!” Hermione said persuasively. “You are the most intelligent woman I know. Learn magical theory and help me devise new and wonderful ways to do things. You don’t have to be able to DO magic to understand and theorize. You taught me ancient Egyptian and Arabic. Let me teach something to you.” Evelyn chewed her bottom lip.
“I have been…. MADLY wanting to know how your magic works. You sure you wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not! And I KNOW Rick won’t mind… especially won’t mind not being on fire patrol 24 hours a day.”
“I thought he was especially on edge lately,” Evelyn said thoughtfully. “Well, it’s decided. I am going to become a magical theorist. Oh! It’s so exciting!”
Rick thought that even for visiting Hermione, Evelyn had been gone for an awfully long time; not that he wasn’t grateful. Evelyn had set the curtains on fire again this week. Rick was about ready to pull a gun on Bay’s esteemed protegee and FORCE the bastard to hire Evelyn on pain of a bullet to the groin. Late into the night, Rick finally made his way to the Bay residence and knocked on the door. Ardeth opened the door looking tired.
“Your wife and mine have decided to take over the world together,” Ardeth said.
“They didn’t wake Imhotep did they?!” Rick looked over Ardeth’s shoulder in alarm.
“No, no…. You need to lighten up O’Connell. Come on in.” Rick looked at Ardeth like he had grown a second head.
“Who are you to tell me to lighten Mr. ‘leave now or die’!” Ardeth rolled his eyes, but pointed at their prospective partners pouring over old manuscripts without a care to their surroundings.
“I came home and they barely gave me a glance. I think Hermione is showing Evelyn how to do magic…. Or write magic… something of that nature.”
“Magical theory!” Evelyn yelled from her seat. “Oh! Hello Rick. Have I been here long?”
“It’s the middle of the night, sweetheart. Why don’t we go home and get some sleep?” Evelyn clearly didn’t want to, but Hermione stood up with a stretch.
“Why don’t you take a book or two home with you? Come when you're finished or get too confused.”
“Brilliant! Be right there Rick. Give me just a moment.” Rick shook his head with amusement, but breathed an audible sigh of relief. Thank the heavens! Hopefully this was the last time he had to replace the curtains!
__________________
Bill Weasley could not shake off the nagging feeling that he knew the woman across him in the cafe. She was just…so familiar. Graying curls tied in a messy bun with a dark leather coat a lot like the ones the Aurors wore… even though it was clearly very old. She was sitting next to an attractive Arab man…. with a VERY big sword. Bill tried not to stare. He really did… mainly because of the sword, but he just couldn’t tear his eyes away for long.
“That young man is staring at you, my love,” Ardeth said quietly in Arabic.
“I know him,” Hermione responded back. Ardeth gently took Hermione’s shaking hand.
“Well?”
“Not really… at the moment. His wedding is the one I was attending that was… interrupted.”
“Well, we can’t have him making any connections. Shall I… Make him remember me more than you?” Hermione looked at Ardeth with bemusement.
“By all means my love… I’d love to see what you have planned. This is after all the cafe with the most action. We are still paying the original owner's son to put up with the Medjai’s training antics.” Ardeth stood and gave Hermione a meaningful kiss on the hand before striding threateningly right into Bill’s face. Bill gulped. It didn’t matter that he had a wand in his pocket. That sword was much bigger up close. “You are making habibi uncomfortable.” Bill paled. He was staring at another man’s wife.
“My apologies,” Bill stammered out.
“We must duel for her honor.” Bill gaped at Ardeth. Ardeth’s voice had a thick accent and his broken English had been hammed up for the occasion.
“No! No, please… no duel. I will leave. You will never see me at this cafe again.” Bill scrambled out of his seat quickly and made a hasty retreat from the cafe. Ardeth let out a rumbling laugh as soon as the Englishman rounded the corner.
“For his coffee and the trouble.” The owner grumbled, but nodded his thanks and went back to his work with a shake of his head. Hermione gave Ardeth an unimpressed look as he sat down.
“O’Connell would be proud,” the mood immediately dipped. Jonathon and O’Connell were gone. The only left was Evelyn who was currently living with Hermione and Ardeth in her old age. It was disconcerting to Hermione how young she looked compared to Evelyn. Hermione and Ardeth certainly looked aged… but not as aged as Evelyn. Adham, Basma, Hazeeb, and Farah had all passed long ago. Even Ali and Alex were getting far too old in years. With Bill in Egypt and their grandchildren getting to the age of having their own children, the war would soon be upon them. Not that it would affect them in Egypt, but it was the first time Hermione was actually tempted to go back to England. To say goodbye to people who would soon be forever beyond her reach.
“We can go,” Ardeth said.
“No we can’t,” Hermione immediately denied.
“Yes,” Ardeth insisted. “We can. Some people might say there is a resemblance, but to people who aren’t looking for it; you look nothing like you did when you disappeared and certainly nothing like the pictures you showed me. Say goodbye.”
“I would…” Hermione hesitated and looked deeply into Ardeth’s earnest eyes. “I would like you to meet certain people. Professor Snape, Dumbledore… my parents.” Hermione swiped a tear away. “You really think we could?”
“If we plan it right,” Ardeth said. “...I certainly think we can. Bill isn’t one of the ones you want me to meet, right?” Hermione laughed and shook her head. “That’s good. I think the poor boy would piss himself if I ever walked into his life again.”
“I can’t say I blame him.”
______________________
Professor Albus Percival Dumbledore had received a most curious note. It contained an address in Egypt and a message that promised a meeting with a new and old friend. Most curious that it was signed by Hermione Granger. And once Professor Dumbledore had confirmed the identity of the message sender, he saw no problem with going to the address. After incinerating the message as directed, Albus Dumbledore arrived via the portkey enclosed to a dark alley. He walked forward and knocked on the gleaming mahogany door that was clearly magical and ate a lemon drop while he waited.
“The most honorable Professor Albus Dumbledore I presume?” A serious looking teenager with dark eyes and curly hair opened the door.
“Hello, dear. I was invited most interestingly by Hermione Granger.”
“Yes. My grandmother is expecting you. Come in.”
“Thank you,” Albus said with a small smile. “And who might your grandmother be?” The girl gave him a confused look.
“Hermione Granger.” Albus was… well a tad bit shocked. A spindly chair walked itself to just behind as he wobbled on his legs.
“Thank you, dear sir,” Albus said to the chair without a thought.
“His name is Joseppi.” Albus looked in shock as an older witch that could easily have been Hemione Granger’s grandmother walked up. “Evelyn, would grab the professor some tea?”
“Yes, grandmother,” Evelyn said very seriously before making her way to the kitchen.
“My granddaughter seemed to inherit her great uncle Terrance’s demeanor. I still can’t get her to call me anything endearing. Always grandmother,” Hermione chuckled. “To be fair, she was Terrance’s favorite before he died. The old, haughty bastard probably influenced her just to spite me.”
“This is most extraordinary, Miss Granger,” Professor Dumbledore finally said with delight. “Did that portkey take me into the future?”
“No,” Hemrione smiled sadly. “In the future, I go into the past.”
“And she is Mrs. Bay now.” Albus looked up in surprise at a stealthy older gentleman with a sword tied at his waist. “Ardeth Bay.” Albus shook the Arab gentleman’s hand with furthering bewilderment.
“I believe, Mrs and Mr Bay… you are the first people to shock me so profoundly since Harry Potter.” Ardeth sat close to Hermione on the couch and placed his hand on her knee.
“If I may ask… Why did you bring me here? Oh, before that…lemon drop?” Ardeth took a lemon drop with amusement and Hermione just shook her head fondly.
“I want to say good-bye to my parents before their memories are erased after you… pass,” Hermione said carefully. “There is also one person I can and do think you personally owe it to me to help save.” Albus looked at Hermione gravely.
“We cannot change the past or future my dear.” Hermione’s eyes lit with fire at his tone.
“No… but you can change your own perception of what happened in the past or future. What you believed to have happened could, after all, have been mistaken. As you and me of the past are about to find out.” Albus startled at Hermione’s hostile tone, but nodded after a moment of consideration.
“If it is possible…. I will help you.” Albus was finding himself surprised by the immensely big flood of relief when Hermione smiled again.
“Wonderful! I will help Evelyn with the tea. I will be back in a moment.” Hermione left Albus and Ardeth alone.
“So…” Albus looked at Ardeth with a gentle smile and waited for him to continue, and Ardeth smirked. “...Hermione is terrifying isn’t she?” Albus pulled his bag of lemon drops out yet again and stared at them instead of the intense man before him.
“Quite.” Ardeth chuckled at the quiet tone.
“Tea is ready,” Hermione walked briskly back in. “We set it up in the garden. Just a forewarning, Professor; the original Evelyn will be joining us. And if you think I am inquisitive as a teenager…. You shall certainly reconsider after meeting Evelyn.”
“An inquisitive mind is always a delight,” Albus said warmly.
“You hold onto that thought,” Ardeth said sardonically.
Dumbledore came many times to the Bay household. He found it peacefully chaotic. The family practically took up the entire alley with the fidelius charm placed on each entrance. Each household was connected by a side door and each house had a door connecting to a magical tent in the middle of the desert. Even in his advanced years, Dumbledore had never seen anything like it. Muggles and Magicals married and lived together with little trouble… and Hermione Granger had started it all.
Dumbledore was absolutely charmed by Evelyn O’Connell. Albus would listen to Hermione discuss advanced magical theory and Evelyn incredibly understood every word and could argue back with finesse. It was a heartbreaking day when Albus came for his monthly visit and found that Evelyn had died in her sleep. Evelyn was buried in a grave in the garden next to her husband and brother. Dumbledore began to bring potted flowers along with him every time he would visit and sit with Hermione as she planted it at the base of the headstone.
“I never would have gotten through it all without her.” Hermione had been much quieter since the death of Evelyn. She joked less. Played fewer pranks. Hermione would lighten up slightly when Alex would come over (mostly for his sake), but her mood would quickly dip when he left again. Hermione was in deep mourning. It was the first time that she had ventured any conversation about Evelyn on her own. “Without Evelyn, I know that I would have just holed myself away. Given myself a caffeine induced heart attack. Or certainly would have died with a crushed throat in an alley if she hadn’t come swinging with that hideous parasol of hers.”
“The one on the mantle?” Albus said with sudden understanding and a short laugh.
“Yup,” Hermione chuckled. “She kept it all those years and we eventually gave it a place of honor when she moved in with us. Only Ardeth, Ali, and Alex are left.”
“Do not forget your many progeny,” Dumbledore interjected gently. Hermione looked at Albus thoughtfully.
“Are you afraid to die?” Hermione had mostly avoided Albus’s impending doom. They talked about what was necessary and light.
“No, dear. I will get to see my family again. It will be cause for celebration.” Hermione smiled.
“A celebration. Didn’t think of it like that.” Hermione was much happier after that.
_____________________
“You’re nervous.”
“What gave you that idea?” Hermione attempted to joke, but it fell completely flat. Her stomach kept doing flip flops. Hermione was going to see her parents… as an old woman. She couldn't see this ending well, or even knew how she wanted it to end. They were standing quietly in front of her childhood home. It was her fifth year in school before everything started going to shit. They definitely shouldn’t be in England. It was too cold. Someone she used to know could be around any corner. If it wasn’t for Professor Dumbledore’s help, Hermione was certain that she would have succeeded in talking herself out of coming at all; but with all the trouble he had gone to ensure they weren’t interrupted, chickening out was simply not an option. Hermione bolstered herself up with that thought and finally rang the doorbell.
“Hello?” Hermione’s mother opened the door. She was exactly as Hermione remembered. “Can I help you?” Hermione stood completely frozen.
“Professor Dumbledore arranged for us to come by. There was something we wished to discuss with you,” Ardeth said with a smile. “May we come in?”
“Yes! Mr. and Mrs. Bay. He let us know you would be coming by. Please come in.” Hermione smiled, but she could discern her mother’s lingering stare on the tattoos on their faces; and a similar look on her Father’s face as he observed them entering the living room.
“Hello. What can we do for you today?” Henry smiled at his wife as she sat next to him facing the strange couple. It figured that they must be magical types due to their connection with Dumbledore, so despite their appearances it was easily accepted as strange magic traits.
“There is…” Hermione started. “... really no easy way to say this. In a few years, you lose your memories: Henry and Helen. And your daughter, Hermione…. Me…” Hermione felt her shoulders tighten and her hold on Ardeth’s hand became painful. “... I began working in the Department of Mysteries after those memories couldn’t be recovered. And after a magical accident, I ended up in the 1920s.” Hermione was terrified to look up. Helen stared at the woman in front of her. Surely, she did resemble her own grandmother…. but this was her teenage daughter! The girl who at this very moment in school?
“Balderdash!” Henry stood quickly and began pacing back and forth. “Time travel is impossible!”
“How do you think I was able to take so many classes at once in my third year?” Hermione reasoned softly. Henry gaped at her. “The ministry gave me a time turner. I used it two to three times a day all year.”
“Why wouldn’t we know that?!” Helen looked extremely upset and Ardeth ran his thumb soothingly across Hermione’s hand.
“The ministry only wanted Professor McGonnagels permission,” Hermione explained. “And they don’t have much respect for non magical parents. I knew you would worry about me overworking myself. So, I kept it to myself.” Henry harrumphed and kept pacing until he stopped, stepped really close and bent over to stare Hermione in the face. Now that he really looked at her, Henry could see the mole on her right temple near her hairline. The one Hermione had. Hermione’s eyes. Past the gray, he could see a few strands of Hermione’s hair color still left. Hermione jumped as he placed a hand on the side of her face.
“Honeybee, what happened?” Hermione immediately felt her throat choking up. Helen drew close and sat on Hermione’s free side.
“It’s really you, Hermione?” Hermione could only nod through the tears choking her up. Ardeth smiled slightly. It was worth all the trouble it took to give Hermione her parents back for a day. Helen finally spotted the carved ring on Hermione’s left hand… the hand gripping Ardeth very tightly. “You are married?”
“Yes,” Hermione let out a laugh. “For about seventy years.” Henry stood up in shock.
“Seventy years!” He sat back in his armchair with a thump.
“Witches live longer,” Hrermione smiled wide. “And Ardeth agreed to a soul bond marriage… so his life is extended as well.” Henry looked between Ardeth and Hermione. “That is why we are here. You will soon lose your memories… and I want you to meet my husband before you do. Look at pictures of your grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren.”
“I have grandchildren?” Helen questioned tearfully. “And you are my son-in-law?” Ardeth bowed his head with his left hand to his heart.
“I am Ardeth Bay, and if it is okay with you…” Ardeth pulled out an aged scroll. “We would be honored if you would sign our marriage contract.” Henry took the offered scroll and looked at the Arabic in bewilderment before stopping at the signatures at the bottom.
“Why is there a paw print?” Ardeth immediately snorted and Hermione whacked him.
“Well…” Hermione continued in slight embarrassment. “Ardeth’s tribe requires signatures from the male head of both families. I didn’t have one… so I got a bit creative.” Helen began giggling uncontrollably not even halfway through the story.
“A cat took my place?” Henry questioned flatly and Helen burst into uncontrollable laughter. Henry shook his head with a smile and grabbed a pen off the side table. “I am happy to sign, Honey Bee. So long as your mother stops laughing at me.”
“Yes, dear,” Helen conceded, only just containing her mirth. “I want to see pictures of my grandchildren now!” Hermione pulled out her many family albums and the rest of the afternoon was spent with her mother half laughing and half in tears. Her Father kept half of his attention on the photos and the other half on interrogating Ardeth. It was amazing and incredibly heartbreaking all at once. Finally, it was time for them to leave, and Helen gripped Hermione tightly. “I wish I didn’t have to forget!” Hermione held onto her and Father when he joined them.
“I wish you didn't have to forget too,” Hermione choked out. “You can't say anything to anyone. I broke a lot of laws coming here. Would you prefer that I take the memories away?”
“We will keep quiet Honey Bee,” Henry assured. “We want to keep the memories of you a little while. And spend as much time with your younger self… not waste a single moment.” Hermione nodded. She did remember that her parents had been especially close that year. Sent more letters than usual. Hermione had thought it was because they could sense her worry. It was quite the opposite.
“We will see you on the other side,” Hermione whispered.
“Take care of my girl,” Henry warned after heartedly.
“Of course,” Ardeth grinned. It was slightly amusing having this moment when he was an old man, married, with many many grandchildren; but better late than never. Hermione gave the both of them one last tearful hug before they were off. When they reached home, Hermione held the precious picture she had taken. All four of them. The only picture that hadn’t been destroyed in order to protect them from the death eater’s looking for them through muggle records. Ardeth hugged Hermione from behind.
“Your parents will love Evelyn,” Ardeth said optimistically. Hermione smiled sadly.
“Yes. They will.”
____________________
Dumbledore’s time was coming. He had come for his usual visit, but it was clear he was suffering. Hermione could see the black creeping up his hand. It was almost time.
“I’m going to miss you.” Albus looked at Hermione in embarrassment. She knew that he had vainly put on the horcrux. Knew that he was dying.
“It is strange… You are the person who knows me best in the world.,” Dumbledore ventured. “All my dark secrets and vanity and pride. You know how I die. Does everything….” Albus looked at Hermione with a pleading look. “Does everything turn out ok?! For Harry?” Hermione looked at Dumbledore sadly.
“He lives,” Hermione looked away from him. She had been so angry with Dumbledore when Harry had shown her Professor Snape’s memory. Absolutely furious. Professor Dumbledore knew that Harry had to die, and didn’t even have the cojones to tell him. “You forgot to add selfish.” Dumbledore looked at Hermione guiltily.
“I didn’t want him to suffer,” Albus pleaded.
“He DID suffer,” Hermione said coldly. After taking a moment to control her breathing, Hermione stood. “You don’t need me to yell at you Professor. I know you regret it.” Hermione came around the table and gave him a hug. “Harry gets married.” Hermione felt tears hit her arm. “I believe Ginny was expecting last I heard. He is happy… I think. Don’t tear yourself up. It turns out okay… at least for Harry.” Dumbledore nodded, but continued to hug Hermione for several minutes.
“It all turns out okay.” Professor Albus Dumbledore died not long after that, and the war began.
_________________
Hermione sat with Ardeth in the ramshackle boat house. They had to wait until Harry had retrieved the pensieve memories from Professor Snape. Then, and only then, could they try to save him. They had arranged for sounds to be made just outside the door so Harry would run off while the Professor was hopefully still alive and then they would make their move.
_________________
Pain… and Light. Surely he wasn’t cursed in this life and the next? Severus Snape opened his eyes to find himself in a room filled with rich wood and dark green hangings. His throat was aflame. Severus tried to sit up, but immediately fell back with a pained groan.
“He lives!” Severus startled painfully at the dramatically spooky face and attempted to back, but only managed to pain himself further.
“Hermione!”
“Alright. Alright. My apologies Professor.” Severus looked in confusion at a clearly old woman. A woman who was far older than him, but… her eyes were that of Miss Granger, her voice was Miss Granger’s, and certainly that atrocious lion’s mane was impossible to miss. “I’d ask how you are feeling, but…” Severus felt his eyebrow’s knit together at the playful tone displayed. Miss Granger was far too uptight for that. “... but, you probably feel like you were regurgitated by a hippopotamus right about now. Nagini really did a number on you.”
“Shouldn’t you be more polite to the injured?” The Arab man next looked thoroughly irritated by her playfulness.
“Did he show tact when he called me an incurable know-it-all?” THAT WAS HERMIONE GRANGER! “I assure you, once his throat heals, he will give twice as good as he gets. Severus Snape is rarely lost for words… Isn’t that right Professor?” But… He was lost for words and not just because Nagini took a bite out of his throat. Hermione Granger clearly grew into her mind. Severus loathed to admit it, but it took someone of brilliance to conquer the Dark Lord, and that had certainly NOT been Potter.
“H-how?” Severus finally croaked out. Hermione grinned.
“I was an Unspeakable in the Time Room. The Time Turner blew up. I landed in the 1920s in Egypt… and after 16 years a Medjai Chieftain convinced me to marry him after we saved the world from the Jackal Army of Anubis.”
“Ardeth Bay,” Ardeth said with a saucy wave. “She is now Mrs. Ardeth Bay. She avoided me for eleven years before agreeing to marry me.”
“It’s been over 70 years, Ardeth!”
“We could have been married over 80 years, Hermione!” Snape watched the marital arguing slack jawed. When he finally came to himself, Severus had no idea what they were talking about, but he needed to know.
“Why?” Hermione shushed Ardeth mid sentence at Severus’s croak. When it was clear she was waiting for him to repeat himself, he spoke again. “Why?”
“Save you?” Severus nodded, but winced in pain at the movement. “Because although you are an annoying bastard, you are an annoying bastard because you have had the shortest end of the stick your whole life. I’m offering you the long end of the stick. You have a place here. Know you will probably refuse it, but it's here. The house is under a fidelius charm. Actually, we have several houses under fidelius charms, and an entire desert village in the middle of nowhere. We will even make you your own or give you room to make your own. You have control over your own life. No Tom Riddle. No Dumbledore. Though, I would like to mention that Dumbledore knew I was planning this and I kind of strong armed him into helping me. I also have a new identity for you. Think it over. New identity papers are on the side table if you care to do a bunk. Healing potions too. It’s good to see you alive Professor.” Hermione Bay walked out with her husband and Severus dropped back onto his pillow. What did he do now?
He stayed.
________________________________
“Harry… Why are you so worried?”
“Hermione quit the ministry, Ron! Quit! Hermione wouldn’t do that.” Harry was storming down into the Department of Ministries as a man with a mission. He may have grown apart from Hermione… but she had still been through hell with him. Gotten Harry through Hell. He needed to make sure she was okay. Make sure the Ministry hadn’t made her disappear. “Malfoy!” Draco Malfoy said as Saint Potter stormed up to him. Hermione had warned him about this. Draco had been extremely surprised when Hermione had shown up as an old woman, but stranger things had happened. He was more shocked that she had resigned and invited him to work in Egypt with her. And gave him a cryptic message to boot.
“I’m sure you will find someone who you share a close bond with… trust me.” Trust her? Well, he trusted her more than Saint Potter.
“Where is Hermione? Have you done something with her?” Malfoy rolled his eyes. Same old Potter.
“Here.” Potter looked at the scroll.
“What is it?” Harry said suspiciously.
“Why must you be so difficult?” Malfoy muttered. “Hermione left it for you. Read it and get the hell out of my office.” Potter glared at him, snatched the scroll from him, and marched off with that moron Ronald Weasley trailing behind him. Maybe he should go to Egypt. Give himself some distance from the Golden Morons Brigade.
“What does it say, Harry?” Ron was looking over Harry’s shoulder.
“Let’s go Ron.” Harry started briskly walking to the apparition exit.
“WHERE are we going, Harry?!” Harry and Ron walked into the muggle cafe that Hermione had asked them to meet. Harry was puzzled by the instruction to meet the woman with gray, curly hair. The woman was there with a cloaked man.
“So… that’s the infamous Ronald Bilius Weasley?” Ardeth murmured to Hermione. “I’m more attractive.”
“You don’t say?” Hermione drawled. Harry and Ron approached.
“Where’s Hermione?!” Harry said frantically.
“Nice to see you too, Harry.” Harry looked in confusion at the old woman. Did he know her? Curly hair. Gray… but it was Hermione’s hair. The eyes…
“Hermione!?”
“Where?” Ron looked around the cafe in confusion.
“Really, Hermione?” Ardeth did not see how she had been with someone so moronic.
“It was in the past. Let it go, my love.”
“Love?” Harry looked about ready to have a coronary.
“Harry…” Hermione sighed. “Meet my husband, Ardeth.”
“HUSBAND?!”
“No wonder Severus said they were morons,” Ardeth muttered.
“Well, Harry,” Hermione stood and Ardeth did with her. “I just came to see you to let you know I’m okay. I haven’t lost my mind. I am very happy. And… Ardeth was curious about you. And Professor McGonagell. But now, I have to go to my grandchild’s wedding. She’s getting married to a very surly gentleman, a good man; but a complete pain in the ass. But I wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was nice catching up.” Harry and Ron were still gaping fish when they left.
“Tactful as always my love.” Hermione shrugged at Ardeth.
“Did you feel like explaining it all again?”
“Not really.”
“Alright then. I have a wedding to officiate. I’ve been working on my grumpy face just for the occasion.”
“I don’t know what Evelyn was thinking when she asked you to officiate.”
“Merlin only knows.”
The End.