Chapter 7
Hermione was in a bad mood. Evelyn thought she was cheerful enough to start, and then the minute that they left the museum; it was like a black cloud descended over her face. Evelyn heard an unintelligible grumble and a sigh.
“Is everything alright?” Evelyn asked with concern. “Are you not feeling well?” Hermione’s face immediately brightened with what Evelyn was quickly recognizing as the expression Hermione would use to comfort Evelyn and fob her off when she wasn’t going to answer the question.
“I am fine.” Evelyn’s eyes narrowed before she changed their direction for her own home.
“How about I make you some tea and I hopefully can get you to tell me what is bothering you?” Hermione’s eyebrow lifted in that infuriating way that Evelyn was beginning to hate.
“Oh, really?” Hermione drawled. “I told you, I am fine.’
“Hermione,” Evelyn scoffed. “I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Neither was I,” Hermione grinned. “I firmly believe you will over react if I tell you, therefore I will not tell you.” Evelyn’s eyes narrowed.
“Hermione Evans, you tell me this instant!”
“Do I look like Jonathon? That’s not going to work on me,” Hermione laughed. She had met Jonathon a few times since their initial introduction, and it was clear who the de facto parent was when their parents had died. Evy could scold like nobody's business, but then; so could Hermione being Ron and Harry’s parent their entire school years and beyond.
“IF…” Evelyn started with supreme irritation. “...IF I promise not to react…. will you tell me THEN?” Hermione was proud to see that Evelyn had taken on some of her sarcasm in the few months that they had known each other.
“Hmmmmm….Nop-uh.” Hermione popped the ‘p’ obnoxiously and Eveyln glared at her. She was preparing to rip Hermione a new one when Jonathon walked in reeking of whiskey.
“Ahhh… hello old girl,” Jonathon took Hermione’s hand and attempted to give her a debonair greeting, but ended up smashing his lips into her hand and nearly falling over in the process. “LOVELY Hermione!” Jonathon said dramatically as righted himself.
“Jonathon!” Evelyn chastised. “It’s only midday. How can you already be drunk?”
“The key, dear Evy, is drinking the night before… and to never stop drinking!” Jonathon said with a brilliant smile and dropped into an armchair with an ‘umph’.
“Oh… Jonathon,” Eveline was clearly heartbroken for him. Hermione could see the clear signs of post traumatic stress disorder. Evelyn had confided to Hermione that Jonathon had never been the same since he fought in the Great War, and Hermione could certainly sympathize. A lot of the survivors of the Hogwarts battle were struggling to live normal, healthy lives. Drinking too much, trying their best to just not dwell on the people who were no longer there. Hermione herself was just lucky she never really liked alcohol. Lucky that she was simply a compulsive tea drinker and now coffee drinker. She would stay up for hours and read or bake rather than deal with the nightmares. Sometimes, Eveline would look at her weird after a few days of staying up and Hermione was fairly certain that Evaline could see the dark circles for what they really were…. the same as Jonathon.
“Don’t look at me like that, Evy. I’m as happy as a clam!”
“A clam in a flagon of ale, you mean?” Hermione joked.
“Ale? I’m a whiskey boy, all the way; Lady Hermione,” Jonathon’s words were getting more and more slurred the longer he talked.
“How about I make the tea,” Hermione stood up. “...and you help clean Jonathon up. Do you have any bread, Evelyn? I’m sure that will help with the nausea when he wakes up.”
“Thank you, Hermione.” Evy helped Jonathon to his feet and began to navigate him to the bed. When Hermione finally got there with the tea and bread, Evelyn was doing her best to shake Jonathon awake despite his determination to pass out. Hermione immediately strode forward and poked him straight in the eye.
“Yow! Why would you do such a blasphemous thing!?”
“Eat the bread and drink the tea or I will do it again.” Jonathon attempted to protest before Hermione took a warning step back towards him and Jonathon immediately rushed to take a bite of bread.
“Hermione’s mean, Evy.” Jonathon whined petulantly.
“And God bless her for it,” Evelyn said with relief. After they had forced enough tea and bread down Jonathon’s gullet, they finally left him to pass out in his bed.
“Well, that was fun,” Hermione said sarcastically. Evelyn chuckled tearfully. “It’s a very normal response to being a soldier, Evelyn. It would be stranger and possibly MORE concerning if Jonathon wasn’t affected at all. He cares, but it’s painful to care. So… he drinks.”
“I just wish there was something I could do,” Evelyn said sadly.
“Making sure he doesn’t drown in his own vomit is always helpful.”
“Not funny,” Evelyn scrubbed her eyes.
“Sorry. Bad joke. I’d give you advice, but the only reason I’m not doing the same thing is because alcohol is nasty. I just drink tea and never go to sleep. I switch to coffee when the tea starts to make me sleepy. So, it would be like a mute teaching a deaf person to speak.” Hermione was like Jonathon? Now that Evelyn thought about it, Hermione always looked tired, but abnormally alert at the same time. And when no one was looking, she looked haunted. Jonathon gave the thorough impression of being completely incapable, but always had a little pistol hidden away on his person. Evelyn had never even stopped to wonder if Hermione was a soldier, but all the signs pointed towards it. Hermione was just also a woman… so what army would have ALLOWED her to be a soldier.
“I don’t understand.” Evelyn was far too perceptive. Hermione could see the wheels turning in her head. Hermione should really have thought through what she was saying before she said it.
“It’s alright,” Hermione got up. “It’s not really something that can be understood with the information I’ve given you. I’ll get you some tea. I brought some cake.”
“Sure,” Evelyn said, clearly distracted. “So, what was bothering you? You seemed fine until we left the museum.” Curse Evelyn and her excellent memory.
“I’ll make a deal with you, Evelyn. You drop what we were talking about forever and I’ll tell you.”
“That’s hardly fair,” Evelyn glared.
“That’s my deal. Take it or leave it.” Evelyn scrunched up her nose.
“Fine,” she said begrudgingly.
“I’m being followed by men dressed in black.”
“I beg your pardon?!” Evelyn said, shocked.
“I’m being followed by men in black. This is the third one they have sent. I suppose they are trying to find out where I live. Still haven’t yet,” Hermione grinned. “It’s just annoying,” she ended simply. “Hence my irritation. I ran off the last one two days ago. I was hoping that I would have another two or three days to not deal with them.” Evelyn was clearly speechless.
“You…wh….they were following us…outside the museum?!” Hermione nodded.
“It usually starts at the museum. They really have no idea where I live, but they’ve figured out that I go to the museum everyday. I generally lose them after we separate.”
“Hermione!” Evelyn burst out. “How can you not be more worried?!”
“Because I’m pretty sure I know who is having them follow me, and he’s just being a nosey little shit. They have never tried to approach me. I’m almost a hundred percent positive that they are just gathering intel. I scared the last two off. So, they sent another one.” And they STILL didn’t understand that the clothing was a huge tip off. Hermione would have welcomed the barest of challenges. She was unbearably bored. Evelyn could only spend so much time with her and Hermione was clearly in need of some mental stimulation.
“HOW did you scare them off?” Evelyn raised her eyebrows when Hermione began to grin evilly.
“The first one freaked out when I tricked him into going into a brothel. He was clearly young and had probably never been in a place like that before. The second one wasn’t freaked out by the brothel so much as the fact that I actually went to the trouble to pay a prostitute for my ‘voracious husband’ so I could get some sleep.” Evelyn’s mouth dropped in shock. “Now,” Hermione sighed. “...I’d feel better if I had another idea to get this one off my back. I am not in the habit of pranking people, but when I do; I don’t settle for anything other than perfection. I’ll need to think of something that doesn’t have anything to do with a brothel so I can really throw him off his game.”
“You… are absolutely mad.”
“Thank you for noticing,” Hermione said with a grin. “Essentially, I’ve got this handled. It isn’t the first time, and for the most part; I feel that this will be a fun experience. Just as long as the ideas keep flowing.”
“I would like some cake now,” Evelyn said with a shake of her head.
“Of course!” Hermione got Evelyn a plate of honey cake and placed it in front of her. Evelyn moaned at the taste.
“As long as you keep baking for me, I don’t care how crazy you are.” Evelyn said with appreciation.
“That is a great source of solace,” Hermione said dryly.
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“I brought someone!” Hermione called into Evelyn’s house as she let herself in.
“Your fan isn’t with you is he?”
“Not unless you mean Harry. If you mean the man in black… Well, I haven’t been to the museum… so no. But he might show up on your street after a little bit of me not showing up.” Evelyn walked in and nearly tripped on a side table because she was trying to read and walk at the same time. Thankfully she was able to right herself, and immediately squealed with delight at the black cat in Hermione’s arms.
“He looks so much better!” Harry dug his claws deep into Hermione’s shoulder as Evelyn reached out to him.
“Sorry!” Hermione huffed. “I haven’t tried taking him out in public yet. I’ll need to get him a leash if he continues responding like this.”
“Harry is not a dog, Hermione,” Evelyn chastised with her hands on her hips.
“Really? Because I thought he was the spitting image of a jack russell terrier,” Hermione returned sarcastically.
“Oooohhh… I HATE cats!” Both the women glared at Jonathon for his exclamation.
“Consider our pending engagement OVER Jonathon Carnahan!” The Medjai listening just outside the window’s eyebrows flew up. Some sort of soldier and engaged to the worst archeologist in Cairo? This was MUCH more information than Hazeeb was able to obtain. None of them heard him temporarily lose his foothold… none of them that is…except Harry. The cat became suddenly calm and was focused intently on the window, but none of the people inside noticed.
“You would end our timeless romance for a cat! What kind of dedicated fiance are you?!” Jonathon returned whilst throwing his arm across his eyes dramatically.
“The kind with a cat rather than a Father wielding a shotgun.”
“That is a wonderful point in favor of the cat,” Jonathon said while stroking his chin. “Here kitty, kitty. I’ll give you some fish if you’re nice and approve of me and Hermione’s budding romance.”
“Harry!” There was little to no warning for the Medjai when the cat flew at him like a demon sent straight from Hell. He was frantically trying to get the scratching beast off of him, but unfortunately lost his footing and fell down from the third story right onto his back. Hermione and the Carnahan’s ran to the window to see a proud Harry licking his paws clean after his victory and a man in black robes attempting to recover from having the breath thoroughly knocked out of him from his painful landing.
“That’s what you get for being too nosey!” Hermione called out the window before picking up Harry. “I think you deserve a very nice treat, beautiful boy.”
“He certainly has,” Evelyn cooed. Harry purred loudly as both of the women scratched behind his one ear. Jonathon cautiously started to pet his tail which immediately started twitching at his touch.
“Like I said, I’ll give you some very nice fish… yowch! He bit me!”
“Papa has spoken. Too bad, Jonathon,” Evelyn said solemnly.
“Rats!” They closed the window and sat down around the table.
“So, how much do you think they heard?” Evelyn said with concern.
“Probably everything,” Hermione said calmly.
“I don’t jolly well like the thought of those cads gripping the ledge of our bloody window seal to eavesdrop on our every word.” Jonathon said grumpily.
“There has to be something we can do,” Evelyn mused.
“I’ve got an idea that might work,” Hermione said.
“Marvelous! What’s the plan?” Jonathon said exuberantly.
“You got any oil on you, Evelyn?” It was several days before the Medjai was sure that the Europeans were no longer watching out for his presence outside the window, but to be safe; he would sneak in the house and find an alcove to lurk in so that they didn’t catch him the way they had before. He climbed down the side of the building from the roof easily enough, but the minute that his feet hit the window seal… he was down. Evelyn heard the loud thump and the pained cursing.
“It seems someone has fallen off the side of the building,” Evelyn said conversationally.
“It would appear so,” Hermione smiled into her cup of tea.
“I’ll probably need to buy some more oil,” Evelyn smirked.
“That’s a fine idea, Evelyn.”
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Adham raised an eyebrow at the injured Medjai across from him. The young man in front of him was clearly embarrassed, and more than a little humbled.
“You didn’t think it would be a bad idea to climb through the window after you had already gotten caught and defeated by Miss Evan’s cat?”
“I waited a few days for their guard to go down,” the younger Medjai defended.
“And they had greased the window seal so that you would slip and nearly break your leg. We’ll have to warn anyone else who attempts to follow them in the future. You may go rest. You’ll need to recover.”
“Thank you,” the man bowed to his chief and limped out. Terrance had his head in his hands next to Adham.
“Well, she was a soldier and she is engaged. That IS something,” Adham said optimistically.
“Don’t forget the guard cat,” Terrance interjected sarcastically. Adham began chuckling. “This isn’t funny, Adham! It is absolutely ridiculous that we can’t keep track of one woman!”
“Though it is turning out to be a wonderful training opportunity. I didn’t think it NEEDED to be said that going on the window seal after his first failed attempt was not advisable.” Terrance finally cracked a smile and started to chuckle with Adham.
“I suppose you can’t take common sense for granted.” Basma placed Terrance’s coffee down in front of him, and he looked at her askance before taking a cautious sip. His entire body sagged in relief to taste a delicious cup of coffee. His punishment was over. “Thank you, Basma,” Terrance said sincerely.
“You’re welcome, brother,” Basma smirked before going back to her cooking.
“Well,” Terance said with resignation after he had finished his coffee. “I better go select another Medjai. Hopefully, this one won’t be bested by a cat and a bit of oil.” Ardeth raised his eyebrows as he entered during Terrance's last sentence, but Terence kept up his pace and left the tent with only a nod to Ardeth.
“Oil?” Ardeth said with confusion.