“What are you doing?”
“I’m just checking something.”
“Checking what?”
“I want to see if this activates it.”
“Uh – maybe don’t?”
“We’ve come this far. I’m not going to stop now.”
“Famous last words said by how many countless wizards doing equally dumb things?”
“This isn’t dumb – it’s momentous! This could get us inside.”
“Or it could do any other number of things, several of which could involve death and dismemberment.”
“All my research suggests I’m right.”
“Book work and hypotheses – that’s not the same thing as facts Granger. We have no idea what that will do.”
Hermione lifted her wand.
“Stop it – we’ll go get Potter, and he can run a test on it.”
“I got it.”
“Will you put that down!”
“I said I got it, and I got it – let go Malfoy.”
“For Merlin’s sake, you’re going to get us both killed,” he spat as he tugged at her arm.
“Stop being so dramatic. I’ve done this before.”
“Really?” He raised a perfect brow. “You’ve located an underground cave system that spans beneath all of England and is laced with ancient carvings, contains a giant effigy of something that appears to be a very angry chimaera—which you are now brazenly prodding with your wand—refused to tell your superiors at the Ministry about it because you were worried that they would ‘fuck it up’”—he air quoted with his free hand—“and want to open what might possibly be a door which might possibly lead to what we believe is the final resting place of Merlin himself?”
Hermione stared at him.
“Okay – so maybe not exactly—”
“Then stop!”
“But Malfoy, this statue is clearly the guardian!” Hermione gestured to the massive stone creature then grabbed his arm to dislodge it from her own. “We cannot enter the chambers until we bypass it.”
“You’re assuming it’s going to let us pass.”
“It’s just a stone statue.”
“Melin’s fucking beard – how long have you been a witch? Just a stone statue? Do you hear yourself?”
“I’ve already run every diagnostic and detection spell in existence on it and this cave system. It’s inert. There’s nothing down here!”
Crunch.
“What was that?” Hermione stilled.
“I don’t know, maybe Merlin is pissed you’re trying to raid his tomb and he’s coming to get you.”
“I’m serious Malfoy.” Hermione turned to glare at him. “I heard something.”
“Well I—”
Ssskkrrrrrrr.
Malfoy stiffened.
“You heard it?”
“Of course I heard it,” Malfoy whispered, his low voice coming out like a hiss. “I thought you said you cast every spell in existence?”
“I did!”
“Shh!”
Crunch.
“If I die down here because you poked the fucking chimaera—”
“Shut up!” Hermione whispered, her grip on his arm growing tighter. “I’m going to go take a look.”
“You want to go toward the sound? Have you never seen a muggle horror movie? They’re accurate in the magical world too, Granger.”
“Don’t be a baby.”
“You’re even more insane in the field, did you know that? I thought you were bad in the office, but—”
Crunch.
Crunch.
Crunch.
“Well what am I supposed to do? Just stand here and wait to see what comes around the corner?”
“You were supposed to tell Potter to meet us here! Instead you decided, ‘oh no, won’t it be fun if we break into Merlin’s tomb all by ourselves?’, without telling me!”
“You only want Harry to be here because you still secretly wish he would die!”
“Not true!” Malfoy objected. “I wanted him here because Potter has luck pouring out of his ass, and I thought that might be handy to have before we did any of the stuff you’re trying to do!”
Grrroooaarrrrrr .
A dull rattle like the exhale of a thousand graphorns filled the cave, and they both froze.
“Alright then.” Hermione freed her wand hand and prodded the statue once more.
“Granger—”
“Shh.”
He grabbed her arm, grip tight as he stepped closer. “Granger—”
“Sh!”
“Granger we need to leave right now.”
“And go where?” Hermione turned to look at him. His eyes were wide and glinting. “You just said going toward the sound was stupid, and the sound came from the only way out. So that means we have to go in.”
“Fucking Merlin.” He dropped his hold and pulled out his own wand. “I’ll try everything from page two.”
“I’ve got page one.”
The rattle echoed through the cave again and Hermione’s skin bristled.
“Faster.” She tapped her wand and muttered a spell.
“I’m going as fast as I can.”
“It’s not working.”
“Well, something better work, or we’re fucked.”
“Could you be any more pessimistic?”
A screeching growl pierced the thick air.
“That’s why I’m being pessimistic!” He gestured to the noise.
“Just keep casting.”
Crunch.
Crunch.
Crunch.
“If we don’t make it—”
“Don’t say things like that.”
“I know – optimism – I need to work on it. But seriously, if we don’t make it, there’s something I want you to know.”
“If you don’t make it, neither will I, so what good would it do to tell me? Send a Patronus or something.”
“You’re just the worst sometimes, you know that?”
“Ugh – fine, okay, what is it?”
“Well I don’t want to tell you now. You don’t actually care. You’re just pandering.”
“Malfoy!”
“Okay, okay – the thing I want you to know is, even though you probably won’t believe me and you’ll say I’m just talking in the moment and it’s the fear of death that’s making me—”
“Malfoy, spit it out, or I swear to god it will be me that kills you.”
“Okay, okay – fine. Here it is – even though we’ve had our rough moments and things in the past have been really messy, I just want you to know that—”
“GOT IT!”
A loud crunching sound filled the air. Hermione grabbed Malfoy’s hand as the chimaera statue split in two and dragged him down the forming stairs.