Chapter 1
Day 1 -
It was an unusually warm September and the leaves hadn't even begun to change, but the long days had started to set in and golden hour was now my worst nightmare.
The warm setting sunlight highlighted every feature on his face, he was so focused on driving that, thankfully, he didn't notice my staring (although I admit a small part of me wanted him to). His wavy, tousled hair, his bright eyes blended with golden light to create a gorgeous molten look. His smooth skin practically glowed, eyelashes catching light. I tried to focus on anything else, my book, the other cars or even just the endless concrete road passing outside but my mind drifted to his face… his lips.
James was meant to join us.
That was the plan, but here we were.
The two of us, driving to somewhere beautiful and quiet and…secluded. The thought made me anxious and excited, time alone together made me want to be brave and yet I was always so nervous that I never did anything.
We still had another couple hours before getting to our first stop - a lay-by in the middle of nowhere and Sirius was faintly singing along to ‘sloppy’ by KING MALA from our combined playlist (messily connected via two wires and three adaptors to the old van stereo).
It was years of effort, a lot of his family’s money and too many long nights that he'd poured into this little beat-up van, but it was perfect somehow. The double bed was long enough to be comfortable, he fit easily but I had to curl up a bit, not that it bothered me much since I knew who I'd be curled up with. The kitchen was a small counter with drawers that locked to stay in place and a mini-fridge was slotted under the bed to pull out as needed. Toilets and showers would be a public bathroom issue, yeah it's not The Ritz, but just the thought of a break from the world was enough to have me jumping at the idea of this holiday with my best friends.
Peter was booked with his parents but insisted we should go anyway. Admittedly, it felt kinda wrong, but fitting this week in any other time would be near impossible. We were originally going to take turns sleeping on the floor but then James called up yesterday.
He'd been puking all night and naturally didn’t feel like a long drive followed by a week of walks and hikes was sounding like great fun anymore. So now it's just us. Me, sat here watching him drive over the top of my book, leaning against the door with my feet on the seat between us and him just looking... stupidly, illegally pretty. I wanted to curse and bless James for this. Maybe I should send him a get well card with his favourite sweets?
“You good Moons?”
I started out of my thoughts and hummed in response, “Yeah all good over here.”
“I was thinking we could stop for some lunch at the next service station. What you thinking, hungry?”
Ugh, like you wouldn’t believe! “Y-yeah, I could eat.”
Almost 2 hours and one fast food lunch later, we pulled into our stop for the night. It was so peaceful, old stone walls stretched over the hills and the road next to us was barely used. We relaxed in the back with books and music when Sirius sat up,
“Ugh! I've decided that it's way too hot for September, even if it is just the start of the month.”
"You've decided huh? Sounds more like declaring honestly."
"Well, perhaps if I declare it then it might finally fucking cool off a bit." He grumbled,
"Sure it will Pads, whatever you say."
"That's the words I like to hear Rem! Correct answer to you, points to Lupin house!"
And then he'd suddenly taken off his jeans and was sat in just his oversized t-shirt, boxers, jewellery, and eyeliner.
I swear I must've been a Saint in my past life to have earned moments like this.
“You know it is global warming Siri, it's really fucking good at earning its name.” I tried to focus on my book, the music lyrics, just something else.
He smirked before throwing himself back onto the bed - pillow at the open back doors and tangled hair surrounding his head like a dark halo... maybe be was the Saint. He held his own book over his head but after a few minutes heaved a sigh, dropped it to his chest and craned his neck back to look at the sky,
“I should throw dinner together soon,” He murmured, “tomato pasta tonight Moons?”
“Sure, want me to give you a hand?”
“Nah don't worry, there's not much to it. If you wanna just watch, you can figure out the stove and try tomorrow instead?”
“Okay good idea, I'll wash up though.”
“Hah, no arguments here you know I hate dishes.”
We ate and laughed just as the sky went dark, and before I knew it I was yawning.
“Bedtime Moonypie?”
“Maybe and that is the cheesiest nickname you've thought of yet Siri.”
“I am forever inventive my dear!”
“Sure you are, étoile.”
He blushed.
Sirius Goddamn Fucking Black actually fucking blushed!
He was looking down with dark waves framing his face, casting a shadow over his beautiful features and a little smile played on his lips.
How did I do that?
Before I could think about it properly, Sirius got up, put away the cooking set up and folded up the table, and I was over at the sink scrubbing the plates.
We changed, put up window covers and shuffled into bed. He was so warm next to me. He's always been a human radiator and as we unwound to a film on my phone I couldn't help but wonder how he would feel pressed close to me.
His heat sinking into me, his skin smelling like clean washing, leather and cologne. I imagined us tangled up together… I wish I could pick up the nerve to just kiss him the way I've always wanted to.
I want to grab his shirt and pull him in fast - passion and desperation makes someone impulsive I suppose. I want a messy kiss. I want teeth and tongue and wild hands gripping each other until we just melt into it, into each other. The yearning would fade away and all of that time I've spent hoping for him... for us, would disappear with the world. The time and space between us would be all that was left.