The War Chapters (1994)

He'd packed a bag almost immediately.

If Sirius used anything magic registered with the ministry, they'd know, and that included the floo system. So despite the fear that came with having to move him in a wheeled box covered in windows, it was their safest bet.

It was a six-hour commute. Being on the East Coast made things easier, with fewer people to bump into. He'd done the drive in the past, he'd done it often in his twenties.

Recently everything had felt sickeningly familiar.

Arthur wrote to him in advance. He would do the first stretch to get Sirius out of the city. Apparently, Sirius had been more than happy to do the commute on his own, having already proven his ability over the last year, but Kingsley wasn’t having any of it. Remus almost wished he’d been in the room watching it unfold.

He felt like his ribs were going to rupture when he was waiting in the layby off the A1. Sirius had always made him feel fragile, just by breathing. Remus had done his best not to picture Sirius in his head while he waited. The memory of him in June he could handle, that was barely the same man… but from before? He couldn’t stand that image. His eyes had looked so fucking naive. His smile had been unapologetic, and his laughs had rippled from him easily. It had been easier convincing himself that Sirius was dead. A dead Sirius could haunt him only in memory, but living? Rotting away for something he never did? Remus would never forgive himself for that.

Lost in thought, Remus jumped when he heard a car door click. He quickly clambered out to greet the driver.

The passenger door opened first, a Doc Martin boot was placed on the tarmac, and when Sirius’ face, scrubbed of the dirt, popped out from the top of the metal frame, Remus took a desperate breath as all the air was beaten out from his lungs in a sudden rush.

Twelve years had passed, and his face showed it, but he looked so much younger now than he wasn't covered in muck and sporting prison wear. He’d cut his hair back. It now sat where it used to. It had that same easy shine. He wasn’t looking at Remus.

Arthur stepped out of the car and rushed over, greeting Remus with a brief handshake. He felt Sirius’ figure walk past him and slip into the passenger seat of his car.

“Thank you for this,” Arthur said. Remus shook his head.

“You don’t have to thank me. Frankly, you did the stressful bit.”

Arthur fidgeted for a moment, and Remus took it as a sign to end the conversation. He went to climb back into his car but Arthur stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, a look of worry carved into his features. Remus’ gut clenched.

“What is it?”

The man looked as if he were carefully curating his next sentence to inflict the least anger. “Kingsley thinks the muggle police might also be looking for him… just be careful.”

Remus straightened. He should’ve been warned, but he doubted it was Arthur’s fault.

“Alright,” He swallowed.

***

They had been driving in total silence for hours, Sirius had drifted off. He knew it wasn’t sustainable, pretending Sirius wasn’t sat there. What could he even say?

The night was drawing in. With the original plan, they would’ve already been back, but Remus felt it would be better to avoid Newcastle if muggles were on the lookout for him. They left the country roads and turned onto the A167 when Remus nearly jumped out of his seat. He could see the shadow of his seat outlined on the dash in blue and red before he heard the siren.

Sirius’ head snapped out of slumber and looked to the right, straight at Remus. Still, he couldn’t look back. For a moment he contemplated trying to drive off, but it was futile.

He brought the car to the side and slowed to a stop, breathing heavier by the second. He should’ve just gone straight through the city, they’d have blended right in.

Remus chewed his lip before stopping the ignition. He glanced in the wing mirror. The officer had already stepped out. His throat was on fire. Every breath was an internal battle.

“Remus-”

“It’s going to be okay.”

Swallowing sharply, Remus rolled his window down. An older woman, maybe fifty, stepped into view, glancing into the car. She met Remus with a light frown.

“Mind stepping out for me?” She said.

Remus swallowed and nodded. His hand reached for his wallet by the gear stick with a trembling hand.

“No need for any of that, this’ll just take a sec.”

Remus looked at her again, trying his best not to emanate pure fear, before clicking open the door and stepping out. She walked towards the bonnet as Remus tugged at the loose wool at the bottom of his jumper, following her. It was only when he was standing beside her looking straight back at the car he realised his mistake.

“Don’t get pulled over often, do you love?” She said, Remus looked over at her. She was smiling teasingly. His knees nearly gave out in relief right then and there.

“First time in a while.” He choked out, then coughed to clear his throat. She chuckled.

“I’ll head off. Get that headlight sorted out as soon as you can.”

Remus nodded, numb. “Have a nice night.” She smiled, before walking back to her car.

When Remus slipped back into his seat, he could feel Sirius watching him. His gaze burned him.

“It was my fault. The left headlight is out. She didn’t ask about you.” He mumbled shakily before picking the keys back up from the cupholder and trying to slot them back into the ignition.

“Moony-”

“Don’t.” He gasped, dropping his keys beneath the pedals. “Fuck. Please, don’t do that.”

“Talk?” Sirius asked, amused. Yes. Remus wanted to say. Shut up and stop looking at me. “What a boring life you expect me to lead for the unforeseeable future.” He teased.

His voice was stronger now, deeper. It resonated in Remus’ bloodstream and was his immediate undoing. Remus shielded his face with his hands and rested his forehead on the steering wheel, taking deep, unsteady breaths.

Sirius had never known when to shut up, he’d always pushed Remus, and Remus’ resolve had been worn away from lack of practice. Almost immediately tears pushed over his waterline like glass beads. When he made a sound like a wounded animal, Sirius straightened in his seat.

“I’m sorry. Just give me a minute.” He whispered.