No Greater Sin

“You’ve brought the wand, have you?” The Dark Lord crosses the room with a single boney hand outstretched. 

Narcissa stiffly hands him the velvet bag. Seeming to remember herself, she ducks her head in a small bow. “My Lord. An honor.”

His gaze flicks to Regulus who copies the motion. “My Lord.”

“Please, come in.”

Regulus ignores the irony and steps into his living room. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” He says, choosing not to sit. “A pleasant surprise, my Lord.”

Voldemort tips his head, opening the velvet bag. “I decided to speed things along.” With spindly fingers he reaches in and slowly pulls out a wand- dark and long, full of ugly knots and carvings. “Thank you, Narcissa.”

Narcissa nods and steps back, taking a seat on the edge of an overstuffed armchair. The Dark Lord turns back to Regulus. “As I said- I’m speeding things along. No point in wasting time. Do you know why I procured this wand, Regulus?”

“No, my Lord.”

“I want to find the very best channel for my magic as possible. There’s a specific wand I crave, yet it remains unattainable. For now-” He twists the wand and the curtains over the windows slam closed. “This will do as a placeholder.” The room goes quiet, the silence thick and cloying. He turns to look at Regulus. “My child, I believe it is time.”

Regulus doesn’t ask what he’s talking about. 

“You’re ready, yes? To join me? To commit to me?”

Behind the Dark Lord Regulus can see his parents sitting prim and proper on the couch. His mothers hands are clasped in her lap, eyes glittering. “Of course, My Lord.” He says, and watches as the Dark Lord nods his approval. Next to him, Narcissa lets out a little breath. Regulus doesn’t let himself look at her. 

The Dark Lord moves closer till Regulus can feel his breath, warm and thick on his face. “I’m proud, Regulus.” The words come out cracked and twisted, almost satirical. 

“Thank you.”

“I am glad you have chosen to bound yourself to this life. These people.”

“Of course.”

“Do not disappoint me. You’ll find I’m not very forgiving.”

“I’ll do my best, my Lord.”

“Your best is not good enough. Have conviction. Say it.”

“I will not disappoint you.”

“Tell me you will do better than your traitor of a brother.”

“I will never be like him.”

“Why’s that?”

“I hate him.” The lie bleeds off him in waves, easy as sin. 

“And what of your friend? What of your snake?” The Parseltounge sounds uneven and unnatural in the Dark Lord’s mouth. 

“What of her, my Lord?”

“You do not regret what you did?”

“Of course not.”

And if I asked you to kill her?

Regulus doesn’t blink. I’d slit her throat and finish the job you started.

Voldemort’s smirk drips with cruelty.  A cold hand grabs Regulus’s arm, nails digging in. Violently his sleeve is ripped up as the Dark Lord spins his wand between his fingers. “Do you agree, then? Do you want it? I can only Mark those who want it.”

Forgive me, James.

There's only so much I can do. 

“I want it, my Lord.”

“Hold out your arm.”

It doesn’t burn as much as Regulus expected it to. 

---

Peter shows up to James’s a week before school starts. James greets him at the door. “Wormy, thank god.”

Peter pulls back. “That bad?”

“It’s awful.” James grabs Peter’s bags. It’s true. Sirius and Remus have been very… well. Very Sirius and Remus. Dancing around each other just as badly as they do at Hogwarts. But in such a small house with so few other people, it’s nearly unbearable. He looks back up at Peter. “I’m so glad you’re here.” He says honestly. 

Peter grimaces. “Can they just… I don't know…

“Fuck?” James asks with a laugh. “They wish.”

“I think everyone wishes,” Peter mutters. James grins. 

“Merlin, it’s good to see you.”

Peter sighs and leans up against the door. “How’s Monty?”

James doesn’t let his smile slip. “Oh, he’s fine. You know. I mean. He’s doing better.”

“Magic still gone?” Peter asks softly.

James forces himself to nod. “Yeah. Yeah, but he’ll be ok.”

“Is that Pete?” Behind James, Sirius comes bounding down the stairs, hair flying behind him. 

“Hey mate-” Peter starts before Sirius barrels into him, wrapping him up in a tight hug. 

“We missed you so much.” Sirius ruffles Peter’s hair, grabbing his arm. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you did.” For the first time, James notices something hard in the set of Peter’s mouth.

“Moony! Wormy’s here!”

“Yeah, I heard. Hi Mate.” Remus steps up behind them and James lets out a breath. It’s the first time they’ve been together all summer: he’s missed this. The Marauders. 

“Pete, come in.” Sirius drags Peter through the threshold and deposits him in the couch. “How’ve you been?”

Peter grins, leaning back. “Oh, fine. Bored, really. What’ve you guys been up to? Any developments?”

“Nah,” Remus says, settling on the other couch. James joins him. “Not really.”

“Oh, we ran into my cousin in Diagon alley.” Sirius frowns. “She’s up to something.”

Pete’s brows furrow. “You saw Bellatrix?”

Sirius waves a hand dismissively. “No. Narcissa.”

James presses his lips together. Sirius hasn’t mentioned Regulus since he saw him. James wishes he would. He wants to talk about him, wants to hear about him. It doesn’t matter if it’s from Sirius- he’ll take anything he can get. 

“Why d’you think they’re up to something?” Pete asks. 

Sirius scoffs in a very Sirius way. “Of course they are. They’re Death Eaters.”

“But your interaction was… civil?”

“For the most part, yeah.” Sirius looks down. “Cissa has always been… better.”

“Better?”

“Yeah. I mean- she treated us better. Then Bella or the others. She… I don’t know how to explain it.”

James thinks of the way Narcissa took Regulus's elbow when he looked like he was about to pass out. Her expression, while controlled as ever, held a hint of genuine concern. She’d ducked her head and whispered something and Regulus had nodded and steadied himself. Maybe Sirius was right. Maybe she was better. 

Better than Bellatrix, anyway. 

“I guess we’ll find out.” Sirius shrugs. “Anyway, Pete, the topic of the summer seems to be if we’re gonna be allowed to fight with the Order this year.”

Peter’s brows furrow. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I mean… will you? Do you want to?”

Sirius gives him an incredulous look. “Of course we do. Don’t you?”

“Yeah! I- yeah. I do. It’s just dangerous.”

James scoffs. “Yeah, but that's always going to be the case. Voldemort is dangerous. His cause is dangerous. That’s part of the deal.”

Peter hesitates, then nods. “You’re right. Yeah, Dumbledore’ll let us fight. He has to.”

“Ok, enough.” Effie barges into the room, hands on her hips. “No more talking about this for the rest of break. Pete, dear, it’s lovely to see you.”

“Hi, Effie.”

“Sirius- are you sleeping on the couch? I came in to get you for breakfast and your bed was still made.”

Remus’s cheeks go instantly pink and Sirius presses his lips together. No one says anything. James locks eyes with Peter.

They both sigh. 

---

“Let me see it.”

“No.”

“Please.”

Regulus looks away, keeping his hands planted firmly in his lap. Barty sneers, leaning back. Evan smirks. “I imagine your parents are thrilled.”

“I imagine you’re thrilled,” Barty says, eyes fixed on Regulus’s forearm. 

Regulus wants them to leave. Desperately. Their voices are too loud and he’s too tired. He puts a hand over his arm. It’s been two weeks, and he hasn’t looked at it yet. Not full on. Not intentionally. He tried, the first night. It didn’t go well. “My parents… aren’t displeased.”

It’s true. His mother hasn’t been this attentive since he was a kid.

“Course they’re not.” Barty scoffs. “Youngest ever. Fuck, you’re lucky.”

Regulus looks down. “Right.” Unconsciously, he begins to rub his forearm over the fabric of his shirt. It’s a habit he’s picked up, one he really needs to break. He used to think the tattoo itched. It wasn’t until his skin turned red and raw that he realized he’d actually just been trying to scratch it off. 

“What now?” Evan asks. 

Regulus shrugs. “I don’t know. Whatever the Dark Lord has planned.”

“Wonder if he’ll let me get one soon.” Barty pulls up his sleeve and drags his nails over the skin. “I bet he will. I’ve been loyal. He knows I'm interested.”

Regulus thinks of the ten muggles asleep in hospital beds. He thinks of Saskia. “It takes more than interest.”

“Yeah, that's true. You had all your missions didn’t you? How d’you think I could get him to give me some of those?”

Be a Parslemouth, Regulus thinks. Or a potion maker. Basically: “Be good at something. Have something he wants.”

“How are you gonna hide this at school?” Evan asks. 

Regulus shrugs. “Sleeves.” Glamour too, but Evan doesn’t need to know about that particular trick. 

“Dumbledore would lose his shit if he knew. I want to see the look on his face when he realizes one of his students is a full fledged death eater.” 

“I’m not,” Regulus says, firm and quick. Too quick. Barty’s eyes narrow. 

“How d’you mean?”

“I just have The Mark. I don’t go on missions or to that many meetings.” He stares Barty down. “I just have The Mark.” He says again. It’s important to him that they know that. It’s important they don’t think that's who he is.

“Mate, I don’t think that’s how that works. If you have The Mark, you-”

“Barty,” Evan interrupts. He glances at Regulus quickly before looking away. “Didn’t you say you had news?”

Regulus lets out a little breath as Barty begrudgingly nods. “Yeah. I overheard Rodolphus saying the Dark Lord confirmed they wouldn’t attack Hogwarts.”

“You overheard this?”

Barty shrugs. “Well. Rodolphus told me. But. I heard it.” 

“Right.”

Evan frowns. “Are you sure? It would only make sense.”

“Yeah. The Dark Lord said he’ll keep focusing on Beauxbatons and those schools. Sounds like Hogwarts is safe, unfortunately. It’d be fun to get in on the action for once.”

Regulus closes his eyes and lets out a breath of relief. He hopes they’re leaving soon. He doesn’t need noise right now. 

“We go back to school in three days, you ready?” Evan runs a hand through his sandy hair. 

“Yeah.” Barty rolls up his sleeve again, examining the bare skin. “I still really think it’d look good on me.”

“Your father would actually fucking kill you.”

Barty grins, sharp and pointy. “That’s the point.”

Regulus’s skin stings and he looks down, confused. Oh. He’s been scratching at the mark again, scraping at the skin with his nails. The cloth of his shirt is the only thing preventing him from leaving it bloody. Silently he tucks his hands under his lap. 

“I, for one, am not ready to go back to school.” Evan starts. “There’s so much more to do here. And you know Dumbledore will be stiff about Hogsmead this year because of all the attacks-”

“Whatever. I don’t think the Dark Lord will keep Dumbledore around for too much longer.”

“I don’t know.” Regulus mutters.

“Hm? Why wouldn’t he?”

Regulus shrugs. “I don’t know if he can.”

“Of course he can.”

“Then why hasn’t he? He’s his biggest opposition, and the only real reason the Dark Lord hasn’t won yet.”

“He’s… waiting.”

“Why?”

“I don’t bloody know! I’m not as close with him as you are.”

“Right.”

Barty sighs and Regulus goes back to scratching at his sleeve. He’ll have Kreature escort them out soon. 

---

“Regulus.”

“Yes, my Lord?”

“We’ll be working on more projects together soon. I have big plans for you.”

“An honor, my Lord.”

---

“Master Regulus has been looking tired. Is he packed? Is Kreature able to do anything?”

Regulus smiles softly. “I’m fine, Kreature. Thank you.”

“I’s is not believing you, Master. You are not eating this summer. And your face is too skinny.” 

Regulus takes a breath. He knows that, of course. He always loses weight over the summers. This one was particularly bad- he just didn’t have an appetite. Combined with Bella’s Occlumency training, he couldn’t bring himself to eat as much as he should have. “I’ll finish my full plate tonight, ok?”

Kreature eyes him suspiciously. “Kreature is not believing you, Sir.” He repeats.

“Believe me. And yes, I’m packed. Train leaves at 9am tomorrow, right? I’ll be ready.”

“It’s good Master Regulus will be seeing his friends again. He’s only seen them once this summer.”

Regulus doesn’t acknowledge that one.

“Are your robes even going to fit? Should Kreature take you to the tailor?”

“My robes will be fine, Kreature. I’ll fill out when I get back to school. Stop fussing.”

“Are you saying the elves at Hogwarts is cooking better than Kreature is?”

“No, Kreature. I like your cooking just fine.” 

“Your mother will be worrying, Master Regulus.”

“I guarantee you she will not.”

“Is you getting less headaches now?”

“Yeah,” Regulus lies. 

Kreature shakes his head. “I see you drinking your potions- Kreature’s the one that’s been cleaning up the bottles.”

“They’re just sleeping potions.”

Kreature begrudgingly nods. “Kreature knows. Kreature would be able to tell if you’s were drinking too much.”

Regulus makes himself smile. Kreature’s right on this, at least. He isn’t taking more than necessary. He doesn’t mind losing a little sleep- mostly he takes them because they remind him of James. “Exactly. So don’t worry about those.”

“I worry about you eating more.” Kreature says, and Regulus sighs. They’re right back where they started. “And the bandages on your sink.”

Regulus takes a step back. “That’s- those don’t matter.” He’s been using them to wrap his arm. When he has to change or shower he doesn’t want to catch a glimpse of the mark out of the corner of his eye. Two layers of protection can do no harm. Plus- it helps with the scratching.

“Yes, but you is always saying things like that and Kreature gets so worried-” Drawing himself up to his full height Kreature glares at Regulus. “I is wondering if I should be telling Mistress Walburga.”

“Absolutely not.”

“But-”

“No, Kreature. I forbid you from bringing this to my mother.”

Kreature throws his hands up. “Then Kreature is asking Master Regulus to take care of himself! If I can’t be convincing you, maybe Mistress can.”

Regulus narrows his eyes. “And how do you think she’d do that?”

Kreature closes his mouth. He frowns. It’s always been difficult- this invisible line. Kreature worships Walburga. Bows so low his nose touches the ground the second she walks into the room.

But Regulus has always been his favorite.

And Walburga is not kind to Regulus. Kreature isn’t stupid- he’s had to apparate Regulus into his bed from the living room floor enough times to understand the dangers of telling Walburga more than she needs to know. 

“I won’t tell Master Walburga,” Kreature concedes. “Unless she asks Kreature.”

“Thank you,” Regulus says quietly. 

“Master Regulus should really be seeing more of his friends.” Kreature turns to wander away, still muttering to himself. Regulus wonders if the house elf realizes he’s speaking out loud. “Doesn’t talk to anyone anymore, never leaves the house, never eats. He is reminding Kreature of his traitor brother.” Kreature stops at the doorway, glancing back at Regulus over his shoulder. “At least his brother was loud. At least Kreature could tell he was still alive.”

Silently, Regulus goes back to his room. 

---

Surprisingly, the transition back to school goes smoothly. Regulus stays quiet on the train, lost in his head. Even Pandora doesn’t try to talk to him. The opening dinner is long and complicated, and Regulus finds himself breaking his promise to Kreature. After a few bites his stomach turns and he pushes the plate away. 

He sees James that night. 

“James,” Regulus murmurs when he opens the door to the Come and Go room. 

James is leaning up against a bed post, arms crossed. At Regulus’s voice his head snaps up. Pupils wide he shoves off the post and moves closer. “Reg.”

Regulus closes his eyes, ignoring the pounding starting up in his temple. It’s insistent, nagging, and altogether not enough to keep him from this. From him. 

Slowly he moves forward, adjusting James’s glasses. His eyes glitter and Regulus thinks he’d be ok drowning in them. Leaning up on his toes, Regulus kisses him. Soft and gentle and shockingly easy, James kisses back. Hands finding Regulus’s waist, he lets out a soft breath against his lips.

Regulus lets himself start to soften, to thaw, ice melting and running off him in small dribbles. The water recedes, and for the first time in a long time, Regulus feels warm.  

Fuck Bellatrix for ever making him bury this. 

James makes a small sound and Regulus’s warmth turns to fire, hungry and demanding. Pressing him back against the post, Regulus’s hands find James’s hair. When he tugs James takes a sharp breath. “Fuck,” He curses, fingers tightening on Regulus’s waist.

“Mm,” Regulus agrees, swiping James’s bottom lip with his tongue. 

James’s hands find the hem of his shirt and Regulus involuntarily flinches, muscles locking up. If James notices, he doesn’t comment, releasing his shirt as if nothing happened and instead sliding his hands down to grip his hips. 

“It’s good to see you,” Regulus whispers and James beams, pressing his forehead against Regulus’s. Regulus moves them till James falls back on the bed. He crawls on top of him, straddling James’s hips with his thighs.

They don’t talk any more after that. 

---

“Have you visited the Basilisk?” 

Regulus’s whole body jolts. He’s laying with his back pressed against James, the other boy's arms wrapping around him tightly. Everything is soft, comfortable, gentle. Or it was.

“No,” Regulus manages. He’s thought about it, of course. She’s right there. She’s so close. Right under them, really. Half of him wants to run to her, to fall to his knees and beg her to forgive him. The other half wants to get as far away from this castle as he can. He never wants to face her again. 

“Why not?”

He shrugs. “No time. And…”

“And?”

“And nothing.” Regulus stares at his forearm, stretched out in front of him on the bed. Silently he draws it to his chest where James can’t see. It doesn’t matter that he’s wearing a long sleeve shirt- Regulus doesn’t want to look at it anymore. Doesn’t want to think about it. He just wants to lay here in James’s arms, on this bed, and forget. 

“Your dads potions,” Regulus murmurs. “We’ll make more to ship him soon, yeah?”

James buries his face in the back of Regulus’s neck. “Yeah.” He whispers against his skin. “Ok.”

“I’m in 7th year Astronomy,” Regulus says, deeming it best to change the subject. “Is Lupin?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Regulus can feel James’s smile. “Why?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Regulus huffs. “How were they this summer?”

“Who?”

“All of them.”

“Ah. Sirius and Remus were… fine. Preoccupied, I guess. Not even in a satisfying way. And Peter. He was- he was a little strange.”

“How do you mean?”

James shrugs against him. “I don’t know. You won’t like it if I tell you.”

Regulus furrows his brow. “What? Why not?” He rolls over in James’s arms till they’re face to face. So close. 

James shifts to adjust him then sighs. “He’s… hesitant. To fight for the Order.”

“And that’s odd because…”

“Because the rest of us aren’t.” James says it firmly, decisively. Regulus stomach sinks. 

“James, no-” He starts, but it’s too late. 

“We’ve already made up our minds. Of course we’re going to fight! Of course we’re going to beat him. I can’t sit by, Reg. I don’t care how dangerous it is.”

Regulus’s heart is pounding so hard he’s certain James can feel it. “It’s a death sentence,” he whispers softly. “He’ll kill you. He wouldn’t hesitate.”

“Only if I let him,” James says, but his smile’s weak. 

“You… you can’t take sides,” Regulus whispers, because it’s true. Because he can’t let him do that. That means fighting, and battles, and far too much room for injury. He can’t have James on that side, fighting with those people. He refuses to see him hurt for a useless cause. 

“That’s a little hypocritical, isn’t it?” James murmurs softly, eyes kind as ever. 

“The Order hasn’t made any progress, please, stay out of it, just don’t-”

James shuts him up with a kiss. “Reg, love, I’m not going to stop. I won’t.” 

“You can’t kill him.” Regulus whispers. You don’t know, he thinks. You don’t know about the Horcrux. You don’t know him the way I do. You can’t beat him the way I can.  

“I can try.”

“Can I do anything to change your mind?” He lets desperation leak into the edge of his voice.

James reaches out, running his fingers over Regulus’s cheekbones, nose, lips. “You know you can’t. I’m doing this for you too.”

“What?”

“Seeing you there… I’m going to stop him. You and my father- I’m actually going to do something to help the people I love for once.”

“You already are,” Regulus hisses. Desperately he reaches out to cup James’s face. They’re so close Regulus can feel the warmth of his breath. “You are helping. Both me and your father. I promise. You know what won’t help either of us? You dead.”

James ducks his head, pressing it against Regulus's chest. Against his heart. “I’m going to help,” he says again, and Regulus closes his eyes. 

Gently he strokes a hand through James’s curls, relishing in the way the other boy melts into the touch. “I know.” 

“I love you, Reg.”

You shouldn't.

Wouldn’t. 

Not if you knew. 

He wraps his arms around James’s back, wondering if he can feel how hot his forearm is burning right now. 

“Je t'aime.”

---

Professor Sinistra’s heels click on the classroom floor. “Welcome back, precious students. It’s a gift to see you here, all alive.”

Remus frowns, only slightly perturbed. 

“As it is, I see a lot of familiar returning faces. If you could, please find a partner.”

For some godforsaken reason, Remus looks to Regulus. To his shock, he finds Regulus looking back.

Which is strange, because they definitely don’t like each other. As Regulus rises and starts to walk in his direction Remus tells himself it’s just because they work well together. Remus knows how to take orders and Regulus knows the stars. 

“Black,” Remus greets with a nod. “Missed me?”

“Don’t be so full of yourself Lupin. You’re just the only person in this room that knows how to keep quiet. And don’t think I didn’t notice you got here five minutes late.”

“Mhm.” 

Regulus apparently takes that as an invitation to slide into the seat next to his. Remus, already slightly annoyed, decides to play dirty. “How’s James? He didn’t come back to the dorm last night.”

Regulus’s eyes instantly snap to his, gaze hard and precise. “Stop.”

“I’m just asking-”

“I will curse you again.”

Remus chuckles and sits back in his chair. Neither of them speak as Professor Sinistra passes out the rest of the papers. 

“Work with your new partner to fill these out.” She pauses at Remus and Regulus’s desk, glaring. “You’ll be spending a lot of time in my class together. I suggest you start by getting along.”

Both boys take a sheet of paper and pointedly ignore each other for the rest of class. 

After the bell tolls Remus runs out after Regulus. “Wait.”

Regulus turns, glares, but ultimately waits for him to catch up. “What?”

“I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“Not here.” In silence they continue down the halls and stairs, walking until they’re around no one they know. Finally, Remus opens his mouth.

“I- um.”

“Spit it out.”

Fine. Now might not be the time, but oh well. He’s been thinking about it for a while. “Are the werewolves working for Voldemort?”

Regulus’s shock comes and goes before Remus can blink. “Why?”

“Why do you think?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

“Why would I?”

Remus sends him a look, and for some reason Regulus doesn’t fully meet his eyes. “Don’t you?”

Regulus presses his lips together. “Some of them, yes.”

Oh.

Remus takes a deep breath. “Right. I don’t know what I expected. How?”

“How?”

“Yeah. What are they doing for him?”

Regulus looks away then, firmly. Like he doesn’t want to admit the truth, and doesn't want to face Remus when he says it. 

“What you’d expect. Biting people. Turning them. Using them to join the cause.”

Teeth sinking into his shoulder, pain like nothing he’s felt since.

A moon that infests his dreams and has yet to let him go. 

A child’s screams, only later identifiable as his own. 

Remus stops walking. “What?”

“Werewolves are surprisingly pliant right after they’ve been turned,” Regulus continues. “It doesn’t take much to push them in a certain direction.” 

Remus feels his blood run cold. “So they’re… making more? Just for the sake of it? Just to add to his army?”

Regulus shrugs. “You asked.”

“Fuck.” Remus closes his eyes. Long burning anger tears through him, leaving his insides in ashes.  “Do you have any idea how much a bite…”

”Hurts?”

“Ruins someone?”

Regulus shakes his head. “I’m…”

He trails off and Remus looks over, confused. Regulus is staring straight ahead, eyes wide and unfocused. “Regulus?”

He follows Regulus’s gaze and feels his brows pinch in confusion. It’s just a hallway. Just a normal hallway. “There’s nothing down there,” Remus starts. “Just Myrtle's bathroom.”

Regulus’s lips pinch, just for a second. “I…” but he doesn’t say anymore, and he’s not moving.

“Come on.”

“Lets- I need-” Regulus cuts himself off and turns on his heels. Remus throws his hands up and chases after him.

“Regulus!”

Regulus doesn’t say anything, hands shoved deep in his pockets. Remus catches up to him eventually. “What the fuck was that?”

“Just realized I didn’t need to go that way.”

“You scared of ghosts, Regulus?”

The other boy smiles, but it almost looks sad. “Something like that.”

“Huh.” Remus doesn’t know what to do with that. “I- thank you. For answering my question. I know you didn't have to.”

Regulus nods. “It is what it is.” 

“You- I just- I need you to tell me you know it’s awful. What he’s doing. I need to know you think it’s cruel.”

“It’s never really mattered what I think, has it?” Regulus smirks at him, raising a brow.  “I’ll see you in class, Lupin. Try to be on time, for once.”

Remus watches as he walks away, left, as he always seems to be, entirely and utterly confused.