Secrets
Remus follows Sirius out of the courtyard and down the hall. He can see the tension in Sirius’s steps, the way his hand twitches at his side as he moves quickly through the corridors. He ducks into a classroom, the door slamming shut behind him.
Remus pauses outside, resting his forehead against the cool wood. He allows himself thirty seconds. Just thirty. Any more and he won’t go in at all. He counts slowly in his head, timing each number with a breath. When he’s done he reaches down and finds the handle, turning it and pushing in.
Sirius is sitting in an empty desk, head buried in his hands. Waterfalls of black hair fall through his fingers, shielding his face. Remus shuts the door carefully, locking it with a quiet flick of his wand. “Sirius.”
At his name Sirius’s head shoots up, eyes instantly meeting Remus’s. They’re sparkling and glassy, piercing right through Remus’s fragile resolve. “Moony?”
“What happened out there?”
“Are you… talking to me?”
Remus says nothing, narrowing his eyes and pressing his lips together. Sirius swallows, looking down. “It doesn’t matter. I… just had a realization. And sort of freaked out.”
“What realization?”
Sirius lets out a choked little sound, running a hand through his hair. “Regulus- he’s always done that. With his shoulder. Ever since he was a kid." He cuts himself off, shaking his head. After a moment, he keeps going. “I thought it was just something he did without thinking but- now I- god.” He chokes on the rest of his words.
Remus stares at him, entirely confused. What was Regulus doing when Sirius ran off? He tries to remember, and can’t.
“What are you talking about?”
Sirius looks up, miserable. “Regulus. He rubs his shoulder when he’s stressed. Because- Because it hurts him. And I didn’t know why he did it but now I do and I just realized so...”
Remus slips into a chair, spinning it to face him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why did you run off?” He can’t stop staring, absorbing every detail of Sirius’s grief stricken face.
“I couldn’t be there anymore. I’m sorry.”
Remus clenches his jaw. “Stop apologizing.”
“I will once you start believing me.”
Their eyes lock and Remus gets the sense they aren’t talking about the courtyard anymore. “Sirius-”
“I know.”
“I can’t trust you. You know that, right? I can’t trust you when you say that.”
“I know.”
“Snape still won't look at me. He practically runs away when I enter the room.” Remus fights the urge to grab Sirius’s chin, yank it up and force him to meet his eyes. He grips his knees under the table instead. “He’s afraid of me. You all are.”
Sirius bites his lip. “I’m not. I never was.”
Remus scoffs. “But you were, Sirius. You were. Otherwise you wouldn’t have told Snape. You knew what I was capable of and used that against me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Yes, you did.”
A tear slips out of Sirius's eye, tracing its way down his cheek. Remus ignores it. Ignores him. Ignores how pretty he looks when he cries. “I woke up and thought I had hurt James again, because he was covered in blood. And then I woke up a second time just to find out I had hurt someone- and would’ve killed him too, if Prongs and Wormtail weren't there.”
“You didn’t. You wouldn't've.”
“But I thought I did,” Remus whispers, voice breaking. “I woke up and saw Snape in that bed, and my first thought was that they were right . Everyone who discovered who I am— what I am—and was scared? They were all right.”
Sirius blinks up at him, and it’s so fucking distracting. “You’re not a killer, Moony.”
“You nearly made me one.” Remus shakes his head. He can feel the maggots crawling over and under his skin, infesting it with a familiar self loathing. “No one’s ever made me hate myself quite the way you have.”
Sirius makes a small sound. “Don’t say that. Please-”
Remus swipes furiously at his eyes. “What? Am I not supposed to tell the truth? You’re the liar, Sirius, not me.”
“What can I do? What can I say?” Sirius sits forward, eyes wild. There's a desperation behind his voice Remus isn’t expecting. “Do you need to hit me? Hurt me like I hurt you? Do it.”
“What?”
“Hit me, Remus. Or curse me. Or something. Do it. I can take it, I promise.” Sirius looks frantic, the need to be punished bleeding off him in desperate waves.
Remus’s thoughts stall, staring at him. “Sirius-”
“Show me how angry you are. Show me. Make me feel it.”
Sirius’s hand comes up to run through his hair again and Remus catches his arm, holding him still. “Sirius. Stop.”
“Remus, please-”
“I’m not her, Sirius. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“If you need to, you can.”
Remus smiles sadly. “No, I can’t.”
That seems to be Sirius’s breaking point. He lets out another sob, bending forward across the desk. “I’m so fucking sorry Remus. I’m so sorry.”
And for once, Remus finds himself believing him. He can’t make himself let go of his arm. “I know.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m was so mad, Sirius.”
“You deserve to be. I’ve never fucked up this bad. I’m so fucking sorry.” Another tear drips off Sirius’s chin, landing on the desk. “How- how can I fix this?”
“It has to come from me. I have to actively try to forgive you.”
Sirius tilts his head, lips pink and cheeks flushed. His hair falls in messy waves, framing his face. Remus wants to run his hands through it. Sirius’s eyes glitter slightly, unshed tears still clinging onto his lower lashes. “Will you?”
Remus blinks, trying to force himself to focus. “Will I what?”
“Try to forgive me?”
Remus stares at him, long and hard. There’s so much there- so much hate, so much anger, so much love. He doesn’t know what to do with all the things he feels for Sirius- will always feel for Sirius. Somethings are inescapable, and Sirius fucking Black seems to be one of them.
Another oddly frightening thought occurs to him. If he doesn’t forgive Sirius, if he keeps up this streak of anger and hatred, wouldn’t that make him a monster as well? Wouldn’t that just play into his worst fear?
Wouldn’t that prove them right?
And really, that’s all he needs. When Remus finally chooses, it’s not for James. It’s not for Sirius. It’s not for the Marauders. In the end, he makes the choice for no one but himself.
“Yes.”
---
When Regulus first learned what an unforgivable was, he was in second year. Looking back on it, it’s shocking it took him that long.
He’d been in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Professor Dogbane was staring at him from the front of the classroom. The three curses were written out on the board in perfect, loopy, script. Regulus couldn’t stop staring at them.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Black? Could you repeat yourself?”
Young Regulus had shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. “What do you mean by unforgivable, Professor?”
Dogbane had blinked at him, the rest of the students quiet. “It’s… illegal to perform any of these curses. They are deemed inhumane. Brutal. Cruel. Hence, unforgivable.”
Something had tightened in Regulus’s chest, something he couldn’t quite understand. “Cruel?”
“Yes, Mr. Black. Cruel. Any more questions?”
Regulus’s mouth had gone dry, mind blank. “No, Sir.”
“Lovely. Now, can anyone tell me what the imperious curse does?”
Regulus drifted in and out of conscious thought, the rest of the class drifting by in haze. He’d met the others at lunch, his seat next to Evan quietly. He was missing something, he thought. Professor Dogbane had got it wrong.
He must’ve.
“Did you know the cruciatus is an… unforgivable?” Regulus had asked, the word unfamiliar on his tongue.
Evan had glanced at him. “Um- yeah. Did you not?”
Regulus frowned, the pit in his stomach deepening. “But it’s not- uncommon, though, right? Even if it is ‘unforgivable’.”
Dorcas gave him an odd look across the table. “Of course it’s uncommon, Reg. It’s illegal.”
Regulus shook his head, cold and persistent. “Yeah, sure, but it’s not- it’s not uncommon.”
Dorcas furrowed her brow, and Regulus found he really hated that expression. “Have you used it?”
“No.” For some reason it was important to him that she knew that. That she understood that.
“Has… has it been used on you?”
Pity, he realized. She was looking at him with pity.
And for some reason, that was what did it. That was the moment he understood. Tightening his hand into a fist to stop the shaking, Regulus stood up quickly. He didn’t eat much- anything, actually- but he hadn’t been hungry. He rarely was, those days. “I have to go.”
“Regulus-” Dorcas half-rose too, her expression breaking into one of horror. Of concern. He detested it.
“I’ll find you guys later.”
Evan stood up too. “Reg, who-” He reached out to grab his shoulder and Regulus flinched, hard. He knew he’d made a mistake when Evan went still, hand pausing midair.
“Sorry.” He muttered, trying to duck out of the situation before he lost what little lunch he’d eaten all over the table. “I have to go.”
“Regulus-”
Regulus turned on his heel and walked out of the Great Hall and down across the grounds, steps so quick he was nearly jogging. He could feel his heart in his chest, trying to time each footfall to a beat.
As luck would have it, he ran into Sirius by the lake. He, of course, took one look at Regulus and knew something was off, leaving his friends to come over.
“Reg. Reg, what’s wrong?”
Regulus blinked, trying to snap himself back into place. Trying to recognize the person in front of him or the surroundings around him. He shuddered. “Sirius. Did you know? The cruciatus is an unforgivable. It’s illegal.”
There it was again, inscribed in every crease on Sirius’s face. The dreaded pity. “Yeah, Reg. Did you not know?"
"No one told me."
"But-"
"No one told me."
"Reg."
“She wouldn’t do that if it was illegal, though, right?” He was half pleading by then, desperate.
Sirius gave him a sad smile. “She would, Regulus. She does.”
“But-”
“That’s why one day, we’re gonna get out.”
Regulus felt his stubborn resolve harden, crossing his arms. “That’s our home. She’s our mother.”
“You just found out she casts illegal curses on us and you want to stay? For her?”
“I’m not saying I want to stay. We have to be careful. You don’t get it.”
“No, you don’t get it, Reg. Jesus, how brainwashed are you?” Sirius matched his stance, eyes narrowing.
“Forget it.” Regulus scoffed, looking away. He can't believe he thought Sirius would understand. Somehow, he’d caught James’s eye, standing by the edge of the lake. Then- even then- he’d felt the thrill of emotion, the quick flash of feeling that always threatened to drown him.
Sirius sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Reg-”
“No. I’m sorry I asked.” He turned and headed back up the lawn, embarrassed and flushed. How did Sirius know? How did everyone know?
And why, why, had no one ever told him?
---
When James opens the door to the come and go room, Regulus is already at the table. He has his back turned, head bent over whatever he’s working on. James closes the door with a quiet click.
Regulus looks up, eyes softening slightly. “James.”
“Hi.”
“You’re here.”
James frowns, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just thought- after all that yesterday, in the courtyard-”
James bites his lip. “You stopped him, Reg. Whatever he was about to do, you stopped him. It was hot, honestly.”
Regulus looks down, expression tightening. “You left.”
“I had to. I was… angry.” James remembers the twisting coil of frustration that had curled around his gut, confusing and overwhelming. Not at Crouch or Rosier, but at all of it. The whole situation. “I hate this war.” James shakes his head, snorting. “Obviously. We all do. I don’t know. It’s just becoming more and more clear that it’s affecting us too, not just our parents.”
Regulus sets down the bundle of herbs he’s holding. “Did you think it wasn’t?”
“What do you mean?”
“You thought we weren’t involved? That kids our age wouldn’t be brought into it?”
James looks away. “No. No, that isn’t what I thought. I was just… I was in denial, I guess.”
Regulus smiles, soft. “Of course you were.” He runs a hand over his face and looks back at the table. "So. About the potion."
"Yeah?"
“Your father’s system is resisting the pox, but he’s still growing weaker. Is that right?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. So. To put it bluntly, this one will block his magic, but save his body.”
Something in James’s chest sinks. “No, Regulus-”
“It’s the only way, James.”
“I told you. We can’t lose his magic. He’s too powerful.”
Regulus shakes his head. “He was too powerful. He’s stuck in bed, James. I know it hurts. I understand. But he may never get back the magic he’s already lost, so there’s no point in letting his body further deteriorate.”
If it was Barty, James would’ve punched him by now. But this is Reg, and he knows he’s being sincere. “His magic is who he is.”
“That’s not true. I’ve never met him, but I’ve heard you talk.” Regulus’s brows pinch. “I’ve heard Sirius talk. I know he’s more than that. It’s a miracle we’re even making progress, James. It’s a miracle the cures we’ve made so far are actually working. We can’t lose that.”
James takes a deep shuddering breath, trying to focus on what’s really important. Which, at the end of the day, is his father. “I’m sorry.”
Regulus shakes his head, looking down. “No. I’m sorry. This situation- this entire situation- it’s awful. It’s not a choice you should have to make.”
“I don’t, luckily.” James lets out a tense little laugh. “He’s the one that’s going to decide. We just have to hope he makes the right one.”
“Hm.” Regulus looks back to the cauldron, curls falling into his eyes. James nearly whimpers at the sight. “We can wait for a while. It needs something else, and I’m not sure what yet. Which means we have a second.”
“What do you wanna do?”
"Well. Whatever, really. Actually, if I have some extra time I should go-" He cuts himself off, looking away.
"Go where?"
"Nowhere."
James raises a brow, smirking. "Nowhere being wherever you go on the second floor?"
Regulus opens his mouth, evidently about to shut him down, before pausing. "You... you've stopped asking about that."
"We all have our secrets. I understand."
Regulus frowns. "So you aren't curious?"
"Oh no, I absolutely am." James shrugs. "But oh well."
Regulus goes quiet for a long moment, seemingly considering. “Can-” Regulus takes a deep breath, like he’s steadying himself. “Can I show you something then? I’ve wanted to for a while.”
James tilts his head, skeptical. “Last time you said something like that, I found out you could talk to snakes.”
Regulus looks away uncomfortably. “...It’s not entirely unrelated.”
Apprehensive, James nods. “Ok, then.”
“Right. I- um. Yeah. Ok. Come with me.”
He’s nervous, James realizes. Really nervous. “Reg?”
“I just need to...” Regulus turns at the door, looking back at James. He looks indecisive for a moment before making up his mind and moving forward. He finds him quickly, reaching up to cup his face and gently pull him down, lips crashing together. After a stunned moment, James reciprocates with fervor. He’d almost forgotten how much he missed this. Needed this. James' hands instinctively move to hold his waist, deepening the kiss. Then Regulus is spinning them so James’s pressing him against the wall, his hand moving up to run through James’ hair. James can feel his thoughts melting away, losing himself entirely to Regulus. To his tongue. His lips. Him.
Regulus’s tongue flicks out, darting across James’s bottom lip. “James.”
“Love?” He doesn’t give Regulus a chance to answer, pulling him tighter. His hands are wandering, he’s well aware, but Regulus is so warm and gentle against him. His fingers creep up under Regulus’s shirt, finding cool skin.
“James. We can’t.” Regulus doesn’t stop.
“You started it.” James complains, squeezing his waist.
“I know. I’m sorry. We’ve got to go.” Slowly, reluctantly, Regulus pulls back. James separates too, staring down at him. He looks angelic.
"What was that for?"
"I just..." Regulus looks away. "I need you to trust me. And I need you to... I'm just..."
"Whatever you want to tell me will be fine, Regulus. I won't be mad."
"Fine."
“Fine.” James takes a step back, running a hand through his hair. “Ok. Well. If you don’t want that to start back up again I suggest you get to showing me whatever it is you want to show me.”
“Right.” Regulus blinks at him a few times before pushing himself off the wall and walking to the door. “Come on, then.”
They step out into the hallway, the castle relatively quiet right now. The floors creak under their feet as they move down floor after floor. James, to his credit, never once asks Regulus where they’re going.
It’s not till they get to the second floor that James starts to wonder. Is Regulus about to show him where he’s been going all year? He’s waited so long. Been so patient.
“Ok. James, do you trust me? I’m going to explain everything. I promise.” Regulus pauses, and James realizes they’ve come to a stop. He looks around, eyes widening. They’re at Myrtle’s bathroom, coincidentally the same one Regulus fell out of all those months ago.
“Yeah, of course.” It’s the easiest answer, because it’s the truth. He trusts him. Despite himself, he trusts him.
Regulus pushes the door open, wincing at the resounding creak and squeak of the hinges. They step in together, James glancing around. “While I appreciate you bringing me to an abandoned bathroom, I can’t quite say I get why this was something you needed to show me-”
“Shh. Be patient.” Regulus frowns, looking around. “Don’t worry. Myrtle never comes out when I’m here. I think she’s scared of me.”
“Lots of people are.”
Regulus huffs at him and then crosses to the row of broken sinks, kneeling down in front of one. James joins him after a second. “Reg, what-”
When Reg opens his mouth, it’s not English that comes out. Another hiss, short and to the point. Parseltongue, James realizes. Of course. He can’t help but stare as Regulus sits back, waiting.
The sink slides back, the grating sound of ceramic on ceramic filling up the echoey room. James stares, wide eyed, as a space opens up in the plumbing. It’s a tunnel. A dark, deep, tunnel that he can’t see the end of.
"What the fuck."
James blinks, unable to form words. When he looks over he finds Reg already watching him. “We have to go in.”
“We- We have to go in? There?” James turns back to the tunnel. A waft of cold air blows up, and it smells like mildew. He wrinkles his nose.
“Yes, James. There. It’s not that bad, just land on your feet.” Regulus moves forward, sliding into the tunnel. He turns to look at James over his shoulder. “And here I thought Gryfindors were supposed to be brave.” With that he lets go, disappearing into the dark depths.
James stares after him, entirely confused. Should he follow? He's expected to, obviously. Surely it was fine. Regulus wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, right? Not intentionally.
Slowly, James lowers himself into the tight shaft. It’s cold and slippery and hard to hold on, but he manages. Taking a deep breath, he decides to trust himself. Trust Regulus. Trust his instincts. He lets go.
The fall is short and windy, more of a slide than a chute. He’s deposited roughly onto the ground, something crunching under his shoes as he lands. He steadies himself on the cool stone wall and looks around, trying to get his bearings. Regulus is waiting, arms crossed. They’re in a stone room, the floor littered with something James can’t quite make out.
“Took you long enough.”
“What the fuck? What is this place?” James blinks at Reg through the darkness, still breathing frantically. “You use some weird ass snake speak to open a door to an oddly creepy ancient passageway then practically shove me down a slide that leads to a room filled with- Jesus, Reg, are those bones?”
“Yeah. Come on. You’ll see.”
Before he can stop him Regulus turns, continuing up a dark tunnel James hadn’t noticed earlier. He curses under his breath and then follows quickly, desperate not to lose sight of him again.
“Reg, will you just wait up -”
“Come on.”
Eventually, they come to a round circular door, covered in iron snakes that curl over its surface. Regulus turns to James, a hint of anxiety one again washing over his features before disappearing completely. “You need to wait here. Just for a second. I’ll be right back, I promise.”
“Please, don’t go.” James’s voice cracks a bit as he looks around, desperate in the dark.
He feels a hand on his arm and looks down to find Regulus holding him, just lightly. “I’ll be right back.”
“Reg-”
Regulus makes the sound again, a hiss that seems to trigger the snakes on the door. It swings open and James gets a glimpse of a larger chamber beyond, all cold marble and grey stone. It’s gone in a flash though, along with Regulus, who disappears through the opening and shuts the door behind him.
James presses his ear to the stone but can’t hear anything beyond. He shivers in the cold, leaning back against the wall and pulling out his wand. He casts lumos and watches as the pale light illuminates the hallway. Once again he finds himself asking what exactly he’s doing here.
He’s just starting to panic when the door creaks, just starting to open. “Reg?”
“Hi.” Regulus steps through, tucking his wand back in his pocket. “Come with me. Trust me, ok?”
“Of course. Hey Reg, what’s going on?”
Regulus presses his lips into a tight line. “Come on. I don’t- I don’t know how to explain. It might be better if you just see it. Maybe that's a bad idea. But you’re safe, ok? I promise you’re safe. Stay next to me.”
He grabs James’s arm and pushes him forward, through the door. He trips a bit on the stone ledge before stumbling into the dimly lit chamber. Blinking, he straightens as Regulus steps through after him.
He can’t keep in the embarrassing squeak he lets out, all the air immediately vacating his lungs at the sight before him.
Well, no. It's not that embarrassing, actually. James thinks it's a perfectly normal human reaction, all things considered.
Because there in the middle of the chamber is a giant fucking snake, and it’s coming right for him.
---
This might’ve been a mistake, Regulus thinks. The look on James’s face is nothing short of terrified, and the Basilisk isn’t slowing down.
But she’d been asking to meet James for at least a couple months now, and they only have a few weeks of school left. He couldn’t imagine leaving without introducing them. It was time.
There’s something else, though. Something a bit more selfish. Regulus goes to great lengths to keep James away from this side of him. The side that talks to snakes and follows the Dark Lord. But there’s a creeping desire to confront James with it anyway and see what he does. Regulus wants James to, if not love, accept all of him. A pipe dream, maybe, but real nonetheless. The way he sees it, if James understands the Basilisk then he’ll understand him.
Except the Basilisk is still moving full speed towards James, who isn’t doing anything except standing stock still, rooted to his spot. She’s bluffing- in that much, Regulus is confident- but it isn’t helping to smooth over the introduction process. He shifts on his feet, glaring. Stop.
Immediately the Basilisk comes to a sudden halt five feet away from James, who lets out another squeak. Oh, but his fear smells so good, Little Prince.
He’s scared enough. Leave him alone.
James takes a step back, shuddering. He can’t talk yet, mouth opening and closing. Regulus moves closer, till he’s right in front of him. He’s not good at this whole comforting thing- but he needs James to relax. Needs him to be ok with this. “Hey. James. Can you look at me?” Instantly, James’s eyes flick to his. His pupils are blown wide with fear, making Regulus’s heart constrict. “James. It’s ok. She won’t hurt you. She won’t. I promise. She’s a friend. She can’t see, either, because I blinded her. So she can't do anything.”
“Reg, that’s a fucking Basilisk.”
“I’m… aware.”
“Regulus.”
“Ok. Take a seat.” Regulus gently tugs James’s arm, pulling him to the ground. He goes willingly, folding his legs under him. He keeps his eyes on Regulus. “I found out about her at the beginning of the year. That’s what I was doing in the restricted section of the library that time Lupin found me. I was looking for a book on Basilisks to research. Lupin wanted the same one.” He takes a deep breath. “The third or fourth time I visited her I got… injured. That's when you found me. I, er, needed some help. Thanks for that, by the way. But regardless, I try to visit her once a week, so she doesn’t get lonely. As soon as I confirmed she wasn’t going to do anything to me, I wanted to bring you. To tell you. I wanted you to meet her for so long, James.”
He pauses, gauging James’s reaction. James is still breathing hard, but seems to at least be focusing on what Regulus is saying. “Can I show you something?”
James lets out a snort laugh and Regulus winces. “Not a great choice of words. But watch, ok?”
Regulus stands up, turning back to the Basilisk. Come here.
To her credit, the Basilisk seems to understand. She bends down her long neck, craning her head towards Regulus. Tentatively he reaches up, placing a hand between her nostrils. Her skin is as cool and silky as ever, small undetectable scales rippling beneath his palm. Regulus closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.
When he turns back to James, he finds him already staring. Slowly, he gets to his feet. “She won’t… hurt you?”
“Or you. Don’t worry. I trust her. And… I think she trusts me too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to bite my head off first. Or yours, for that matter.”
James clenches his jaw. “Right.”
He’s so afraid. The Basilisk lowers her head further.
So was I. Regulus responds softly.
Yes, but he’s at least acknowledging his fear. Acknowledging it and pushing past it anyway. He reminds me of Godric. He was afraid at first too.
Regulus looks back at James, who’s staring at the Basilisk cautiously. I don’t think I’m going to take him here again. I think this is your one shot to meet him.
I better make it good, then.
“Do you… have any questions?” Regulus asks carefully.
“So many. Merlin. Ok. Um. Why did you go looking for her? In the first place, I mean.”
Regulus shrugs. “I was curious. I read about this place in a book and wanted to see if the myths were true.” It’s a lie, of course, but a necessary one.
“And that’s a real… that’s a real Basilisk?”
“Yes.”
“And it, what, lives here? Hiding under the school?”
“Yes.”
“Why- what- who have you told?”
Regulus shifts. “You.”
“Ah. Ok. Why is it here?”
Regulus twists back to look at the Basilisk. Can I tell him about your master?
Do you trust him?
More than myself.
The Basilisk twists her head. Then yes.
“Salazar Slytherin created her. He raised her down here, back in his time.”
James blinks. “Slytherin? Why?”
“To kill the muggles that attend Hogwarts.”
James’s face falls, shutting down instantly. “What?” He takes a few steps back, hand going for his wand.
“James, no.”
“Regulus, this creature, this thing, was bread to kill innocent muggles. You’re ok with that?”
Regulus frowns, trying to keep himself vulnerable. Trying not to let himself shut away his emotions and lock down. “I-”
“Was that what happened with Myrtle? It was, wasn’t it?”
And Merlin, sometimes Regulus forgets James is smart. “Yeah.”
“And you associate with it? Willingly?”
“Her, James. I associate with her. She’s… different. She was raised like that. She doesn’t know anything else.”
“That’s no excuse-”
“Just- I need to keep explaining things. Can we come back to this? There’s more I’ve discovered. About Gryffindor, actually.”
James pauses. “About Gryffindor? As in Godric?”
“Yeah. Just… trust me a little more? Come a little farther?”
James frowns. “Ok, Reg. I- fuck. Fine.”
“Right.” Regulus lets out a sigh of relief and looks up at the Basilisk, taking a deep breath. I feel like it’s important, he starts. To show him your master’s room. He needs to know about Godric.
He wouldn’t understand what they had.
Yes, he would.
He’s angry already, and defensive.
Regulus shakes his head. He’s confused. He doesn’t know you like I do.
The Basilisk pauses. You think he’ll get it?
Regulus takes a deep breath. He needs to put it in a way the Basilisk would understand. He’s my… sun. It's cringy and gross, but it seems to get through to the Basilisk.
She twists her head, considering. I’ve known that. I see that. Do what you think is best.
Regulus turns back to James. “Come on.”
—-
James is… feeling a lot of things. Fear, for one. That’s probably the most prominent, followed shortly by confusion. The snake-thing (Basilisk?) was awfully close to Regulus. Way too close for James’s comfort. They kept talking - and not in a language James can understand. He’s going off Regulus’s expressions alone, and he really isn’t giving him much to work with.
He can’t think, can’t process everything that’s happening. It answered a lot of questions, namely about where Regulus has been sneaking off all year. It created a lot of questions too, of course- but none James had the answers to.
Regulus tugs on his arm again, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Come on.”
James takes a step, then another, being careful not to take his eyes off the Basilisk. Her head tracks him relentlessly, despite her eyelids being swollen shut. He shivers.
“Up here.” Regulus pulls him to another tunnel. Stepping back, James realizes it’s the mouth of the statue- dark and long. He can’t see the end of it.
“You want me to go… in there?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, climbing into the tunnel. James, against his better instincts, follows. The Basilisk waits in the main chamber, and James can’t help but feel a guilty sense of relief. The tunnel eventually opens up into a smaller room, complete with a small human-sized wooden door set into one of the stone walls. James pauses as Regulus walks up to it, whispering another word in parseltongue. The door clicks and Regulus grabs the handle, turning back to James. “In here.”
James moves forward, leaning up against the doorframe. It’s an old room, dusty and brown. Obviously ancient. The furniture all looks overstuffed and moth eaten- but also very lived in. He can see the spots in the dust where someone's been sitting. There are letters and books everywhere, scattered yet carefully sorted. James smirks despite himself, looking over at Regulus. “Have you been down here reading, Reg?”
Regulus ducks his head, turning his face away from James. “It’s very interesting.”
“I’m sure it is. So… what? This was Slytherin's old room?”
“Yeah. But- um.” Regulus looks slightly nervous, glancing up. “Not just his.”
James re-examines the room, trying to piece together what Regulus was getting at. Reg hands him a letter, and after a moment James takes it gingerly. Carefully he unfolds it, making sure not to let it rip. It looks like it’s about to disintegrate in his hands.
Godric,
I miss you. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I miss your touch. I miss your words. I miss your lips. I wish this fighting would cease. Rowenna’s being unnecessarily ardent about this issue, as per usual. I’m sorry to be separated so much from you, but I can not be around the rest of them when they’re like this. I long for you, mon soleil. Come back to me.
Salazar
James feels his heart stutter to a stop. He looks up, wide-eyed. Regulus swallows. “That was one of his more straightforward letters. The others are a bit more vague. Or depressing.” He shakes his head. “It’s awful, actually. All these letters. You can watch as their relationship crumbles and they’re forced to separate.”
“What are you saying?”
“They were together, James. Gryfindor and Slytherin were… together.”
James can’t talk. He just blinks at him.
“I didn’t believe it, at first. Then I read more of these letters, and talked to the Basilisk. And it turns out this room is where they would meet. Like the Come and Go room for us. The Basilisk says Gryfindoor gave all his letters back when Slytherin left. They couldn’t talk in person so they’d just write. Unless they met here, of course.” Regulus is rambling now, wandering around the room. He’s reaching out and touching various objects with a gentle fervor, as if he’s in awe of everything around him. “There’s one thing I don’t get. I’ve been thinking and I just can’t figure it out.” He takes a breath. “Gryffindor had to pass through the chamber to get here. He would’ve had to walk past the beast that opposed everything he stood for. How could he see that, see what Slytherin had done, and continued to love him?”
James stares at him from the doorway, at the curl of dark hair gently brushing over his deep gray eyes. It’s not so hard, he thinks. It’s not like he had a choice, anyway.
“James?” Regulus is watching him carefully, still standing in the middle of the room.
James pushes off the wall suddenly. He rests his hands on Regulus’s shoulders, gently sliding them down over his arms. Regulus shivers under him lightly. James can’t fit logic through the emotions overwhelming him; they leave no gaps.
Carefully, he tips Regulus’s chin up, enjoying the way his pupils dilate. When he kisses him it’s long and sweet: a pure contrast to the heat from earlier.
After a moment James pulls back, swiping his thumb over Regulus’s cheek gently. “Thanks, Love. Thank you for showing me this.”
Regulus nods softly. “I needed to tell someone.”
“Has the Basilisk ever hurt you? Seriously?”
Regulus shakes his head, looking away. “Not since that one time.”
“Why do you like this place so much?” James wrinkles his nose, looking around at the dust. “It’s old and chilly and there’s so much stone.”
Regulus takes a step back, frowning. “It’s history. It’s our history. Or mine, at least. Somehow I’m related to Slytherin. Which means-” He stops talking, pressing his lips together. “Nevermind.”
“And the Basilisk?”
“I… talk to her. Or she talks to me. Sometimes neither of us talk and I play my violin.”
“Hm.” James does another turn, shivering in the cold. “I don’t know how much longer I can be down here, Reg.”
The cold is insistent, pressing, seeping in from every angle. There’s an energy down here, dark and angry. It's the same feeling as when Regulus speaks Parseltongue, ancient and powerful and terrifying. He too can feel the press of history- just as Regulus said. But it’s different, to him. This chamber is littered with blood and bones, death wishes and blood supremacy. It’s evil.
Regulus looks away, eyes sad. “Alright.”
They walk out of the room and down the tunnel silently, James trying to swallow away the increasing uneasiness the chamber’s rapidity instilling in him. The Basilisk is waiting, curled in the center of the large room. Regulus sends her a glance before preparing to continue on. James stops him, pausing in the middle. “Can you ask her something?”
Regulus gives him a look. “Sure.”
“Can you ask if Godric felt the same way about the chamber? If he felt…” James searches for the right word. “Uneasy here?”
Something flashes across Regulus’s face before he turns and says something to the Basilisk. The Basilisk responds and Reg nods, looking back at James. “Yeah. He did. He didn’t like the Basilisk, though he was polite to her. Just like you. But he felt better after a while, once he was in Slytherin’s backroom. Slytherin… ah. Slytherin decorated it so he’d feel more relaxed.”
“You got all that from whatever she just said?”
“Well, no. I’ve talked to her about this before.”
“Ah.” James looks back at the Basilisk, trying to get used to the sight. “I can’t believe you haven’t told anyone about this.”
“Who could I tell? Who wouldn’t hurt her if they knew?”
“So you’re protecting her then?”
It’s an innocent question, but something in Regulus’s face shuts off instantly. “I- no. That’s not what I said.” He shakes his head. “I- I can’t talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this.”
James takes a step. “Hey, Reg, it’s fine. We can change the subject. Can we uh- can we go, actually? I’m really cold. I don’t know how you stand it.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course. Come on.”
The crawl back up the tight shaft is harder than James expects, forcing him to brace his body against both walls. Once he pushes himself out and onto the tiled floor of the bathroom he rolls onto his back, groaning.
“How the fuck did you do that with a broken ankle?”
Regulus stands up, looking down at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Wait,” James pushes himself up onto his elbows. “Seriously. That must’ve been awful. And your ribs, too.”
Regulus looks down. “Doesn’t matter now.”
James stands up, sighing. “Are you still gonna go down there every week?”
“Yes.”
"Any way I can convince you not to?"
"No."
They leave the bathroom quickly, steps echoing on the tile. When it happens, it happens suddenly. Rounding the corner James physically runs into someone, nearly knocking them both over. He takes a few shaky steps back.
Regulus comes to a stop next to him.
“What are you two doing here? Together?” Snape's eyes narrow, shoulders hunched.
“Fuck off, Snape,” Regulus drawls, bored.
"Could ask the same thing about you." James says, crossing his arms.
Snape’s dark gaze flicks up, meeting James’s. He’s holding something, James realizes. A bag clenched tightly in his left hand.
“Hello, Potter.” His eyes flash. “I’m looking for Lupin.”