Forgiven
— five days earlier —
“Are you going to open the door?”
Lily raps persistently on the window, glaring at James. They’ve locked the compartment, just the three of them curled up in the seats. James and Peter are playing chess and Remus is reading.
“James, let her in.” Remus says absently, flipping a page. James huffs.
“She stole my last chocolate frog.”
“You’re rich,” Lily shouts through the glass. “Buy another one. Remus wants me in, doesn’t he?”
“I do.”
“He doesn’t.”
Lily sends James another withering look and he sighs, pushing away the chessboard and getting up to unlock the door. “Why hang out with us, anyway? What about the girls?”
Lily puts a hand on her hip and James shakes his head frantically. “Not that we’re not very grateful you’re here.”
“I got bored. Mary’s found some poor fifth year and they’ve started snogging. I had to get out of there.”
Pete wrinkles his nose. “Understandable.”
Lily settles down next to Remus and glances over the chessboard. “James, have you ever won a game of chess?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I win all the time.”
“Evidently. Queen to e5.” Lily leans forward and watches intently as Peter’s queen slides across the board and instantly decapitates James’s king.
“That’s not fair! That’s cheating!”
Peter starts to box up the pieces, grinning. “A wins a win.”
Lily winks and turns back to Remus. “What are you reading?”
“Hogwarts, a History.”
“Again?”
Remus shrugs. “It’s a good one.”
“You can’t describe a textbook as ‘a good one’.” James throws his head back against the wall, bored now that the game’s over. Remus just tsks.
They fall into a comfortable silence, the scenery flowing by outside the window. James closes his eyes, wondering if the potions in his bag above him are staying together properly. He imagines trying to explain a steady stream of thick orange liquid dripping out of the bag and onto the floor to his friends. He decides to trust Regulus and his vials, and promptly falls asleep.
He drifts awake to the sound of gentle conversation. He doesn’t open his eyes, relaxing into the sound of his friend’s soft voices and Peter’s snores.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Lily. I can’t… I can’t see him right now.”
“He’s miserable , Rem.”
“I know. Don’t you think I know?”
“Did he do something truly unforgivable or are you just holding onto a grudge?”
“I… can’t tell you.”
“He’s never seemed so down. Remus…”
“Lily, please.”
“I’ll stop. I swear. I just- I don’t know.”
Remus sighs. “I need more time.”
“You know how I know it’s bad? James doesn’t speak to him anymore. James.” Lily laughs a little. “I’ve never seen one without the other and now…”
“I know.”
It’s odd, James thinks. The way they talk about him when they don’t think he’s listening.
“He looks so sad,” Lily says softly. “Potter, I mean. When he’s around Sirius, he’s so sad.”
“You been watching James, Evans?”
James can practically hear her flush. “I- No. That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” Remus lets out a breath. “I don’t want to keep them apart. That was never- he doesn't need to do that.”
“He’s showing you he cares.” Lily says, and it’s work for James not to open his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“He misses him. So do you.”
“I miss trusting him.”
James’s heart clenches, and Lily groans. “You really can’t tell me what he did? You’re killing me here.”
“I…”
And before Remus says something he’ll regret, James decides to make his entrance. Yawning slightly, he blinks and sits up. “How long?”
“Still got an hour or two to go, Prongs.” Remus leans back in his seat, staring at the ceiling. There’s a dark quality to his eyes that makes James frown slightly.
“You sure you don’t just want to stay the full two weeks with us? Might be easier travel wise.”
“Nah, Mum wants me home. And…” He trails off but James already knows.
“Yeah. Yeah, ok. Well, you’re welcome anytime.”
Lily stands up, stretching a bit. “I’m going to go check on Mary and the others. There’s no way they’re still snogging.” She pauses. “...Right?”
James chuckles and Remus shrugs helplessly. “Best of luck.”
She steps out and slides the door shut behind her. Remus looks back at James, running a hand through his hair. “So- I have to ask. You’re over her? Completely? 100%? I know you have something else going on, but it’s just so sudden-”
“Not really mate. Not sudden at all. I…” James trails off, thinking about the way Regulus’s eyes look on a cloudy day. “I can’t see her like that right now.”
“Not sudden? I thought it’d only been a month?”
“Yeah, I mean, technically, but… we’ve been seeing each other for longer.”
Remus runs a hand over his face. “So that’s where you’ve been off to. Doing what, might I ask?”
“Nothing! Talking. Hanging out. I don’t know. Stop asking so many questions.” James flusters, not meeting his eyes.
Remus gives him a sly grin. “But our little Prongs is all grown up and seeing some handsome mysterious man! What am I supposed to do, if not ask questions?”
James glares. “Keep your nose out of my business.”
“It's our business now, Potter.”
James just huffs and Remus smiles. “Another round of chess? We’ve got time.”
He pulls the board between them and James rolls his eyes.
---
— present —
Regulus frowns in concentration, clearing his mind again. Focusing. Bellatrix has almost gotten through a number of times by now, but he’s starting to get better. Quicker. Instead of a door in his mind, it’s an ocean to drown his thoughts in. It’s fine , he thinks. The door always ended up splintering anyway . The drowned stay drowned, and his mind stays clean.
“ Legilimens. ” She’s gripping him by the chin now, hard enough to bruise. He keeps his gaze cool. Weary, but strong. Ready. She pushes into his head and he lets her, keeping his mind blank and empty. When she finds nothing of value, she pulls back and grins wildly. “Good job,” She spits, voice dripping with disdain. There’s nothing but malice in her eyes. “You really are getting better. Not the way I would’ve done it, but effective nonetheless. Go. Leave. I have better matters to deal with. We’ll pick this back up tomorrow. I don’t want to see you anymore.” She drops his chin and stands up from where she was kneeling in front of him, shaking off her dress.
Regulus nods curtly, a mixture of relief and exhaustion washing over him. Occlumency might be a valuable skill, but the toll it takes on his body is undeniable. He’s exhausted constantly now from the sheer exertion of having to shove every single thought, desire, and memory down far enough even Bellatrix’s relentless nails can’t reach.
He stumbles wearily to his feet, closing his eyes for a moment. Trying to bring himself back. Sometimes, when it’s been a bad day, he lets himself sink too far. He makes his way to the house in a slight haze, distracted and slightly out of it. He’ll go to his bedroom, he decides. Read up on Basilisks, maybe take a short nap before dinner. Try not to think too hard.
He passes his father’s closed study and… pauses. Hesitates. He can hear voices. After a brief consideration, he presses his ear to the door.
“You’re being ridiculous, Walburga.” His father.
“You aren’t listening to me.”
Regulus presses slightly closer.
“I’ve been listening to you. You just don’t make any sense.”
“He’s not ready, Orion. Not so soon.”
“We have no choice.”
They’re talking about him, Regulus realizes vaguely. Who else?
“If he does this, the Dark Lord will want him to take The Mark. And then…”
“And then he joins us.”
Regulus takes a steadying breath, pressing closer.
“That’s my point. He’s not ready to join us. I can’t…”
“Walburga.”
“I can’t lose him too, Orion. If something happens-”
“Nothing’s going to happen. We won’t lose him. He’s ready. You’ve made him ready. We both have.”
“His brother-”
“His brother is a traitor. His brother doesn’t count. Regulus is not his brother.”
Regulus finds he’s subconsciously digging his nails into his palm in a futile attempt to steady himself. He forces his fist to unclench.
He can hear his mother sigh. “I can’t go through that again, Orion. Sirius is still alive. If Regulus joins us, he might not be.”
“Sirius is no longer our son. You need to stop acting otherwise. Have you forgotten what he’s trying to do with Alphard’s will?”
Walburga scoffs. “I’m not talking about Sirius or Alphard’s will. I’m talking about Regulus. He won’t be 18 yet by the time he takes The Mark. Can you think of anyone younger?”
Orion pauses. “No.”
“16, or even 17, is too young for this kind of fighting. He’s still in school. He needs more experience.”
“The Dark Lord is giving him experience, in the form of his test. If he passes, we’ll have to trust the Dark Lord’s judgment.”
“And if we lose him too? If we lose both our sons in one year? What then, Orion?” The genuine tension in her voice takes Regulus aback.
“We won’t. Stop fussing. It’s like I said- you’ve been preparing him for this. He’ll be ready.”
There’s a long silence, and Regulus considers continuing to his room. Then his mother speaks, low and in a whisper. He can barely make her out. “And if he’s not?”
“...He’ll have to be.”
“I won’t be the mother that loses two sons. I just won’t.”
“He’ll pass this test and take The Mark. Ready or not, he’ll take it. And after that…” Orion takes a steadying breath, clearing his throat. “After that, it’s up to him.”
His mother makes a small sound, and it’s the first time in a long time he’s heard her voice carry an emotion other than anger. “I…”
“You can’t protect him forever, Walburga. All you do is keep him here, in this house. You don’t let him learn. He’s going to be pushed out into the real world soon enough, and you won’t be there to keep him safe.”
“You want me to let go? You want me to give up? We tried that already, remember? We let Sirius spend time with the worst people, even though we had full ability to put a stop to that. We let him spend holidays at school. We let him go , Orion.” Regulus hears her set something down on the table. Maybe a glass? “We let him go, and he’s gone now. He’s gone. I won’t make the same mistake again. I won’t extend Regulus’s leash any further than I have to.”
“It’s different now.”
“How?”
“Regulus is a Slytherin, and a Black. He knows where his loyalties lie. He has his priorities under control. He’s our heir, Walburga. Soon we’ll have to let him act like it.”
“Fine. If he gets himself killed, know I tried.”
His father heaves a heavy sigh and soon Regulus hears footsteps approaching. He jolts himself into motion, quickly walking away and towards the stairs. The door opens behind him and he stiffens slightly.
“Regulus.”
“Yes, Maman?”
“How was occlumency training with Bellatrix?”
He rests a hand on the banister. “It was fine. I think it was fairly successful, all things considered.”
She looks him up and down, mouth a tight line. “Hm.”
“May I go to my room now?”
She nods, sharp. “Go. I’ll check with Kreature. I expect you to be down for dinner shortly.”
“Of course.”
“Regulus?”
“Yes?”
She makes a face, crossing her arms. “Cut your hair. It’s too long.”
He resists the urge to run a hand through his curls. “Alright.”
She turns and walks out, sharp heels clicking on the wood floor. Regulus leans against the banister, another wave of exhaustion washing over him. He rests his head against the cool wall and closes his eyes, head still spinning.
Tucked against the railing, his left forearm burns. It’s empty, blank, but it tingles as if it knows what’s coming. He pulls his sleeve up and runs a hand over it, wondering if it’s going to hurt.
Of course it will, he decides. Everything to do with this family seems to.
---
“James, what’s going on?” His father sets a cup of water down on his bedside table. James swallows.
“What do you mean?”
“Somethings off this year. Everytime you come home for break you and Sirius have had a falling out.”
“I know.” James grimaces.
“It’s like I’m having deja vu here. This time you and Remus and Pete are mad at him ? Not the other way around?”
“That’s right, yeah.”
“What did he do? Can you tell me that much?”
James glowers at the floor. “Nothing worth forgiving.”
“Ah.” Monty sighs, looking down. “Everyone’s worth forgiving if they put in the effort, sweetheart. If they know what they’ve done was wrong and regret it, there’s not much more you can ask of them.”
James shakes his head stubbornly, knowing he looks like a child. “He could… I don’t know. He could do more.”
Monty’s voice remains gentle. “When you were eleven and came home boasting about your new best friend Sirius, what would you think if he made a mistake? Would you cast him out, right then and there?”
“I… no. But that’s different.”
“How so?”
“If I left him then, he’d have to go back to Walburga and Orion.”
Monty’s eyes glitter. “Ah. Then it’s alright now, because you know at the very least he’s safe here.”
“I mean. I guess so.”
“So you’re allowed to be mad at him, as long as he stays close by and out of harm's way?”
James says nothing, trying to understand his father's going with this. Monty continues. “If you’re not planning on forgiving him, there’s no reason to keep him safe. There’s no reason to care.”
“Of course I care. He’s- he’s my best friend.”
“Don’t you want him back?”
James frowns. “It’s not that simple. He didn’t hurt me. If he did… everything would be fine by now. You know that. It’s Remus. I can’t forgive him because Remus can’t forgive him.”
“Have you talked to Remus about that?”
James shakes his head. “What he did was awful, Dad.”
“I believe you. Does he know that?”
James thinks about Sirius curled up and crying on the astronomy tower bench. “Yeah. I think so.”
“Then what more do you want from him?”
“I…”
“Do you want it to hurt? Because from what I’ve seen, it already does.”
“It’s for Remus.” He says again, meeting his dad’s eyes.
“You’re a good friend, James. And Remus needs a good friend right now. But so does Sirius.”
“Can’t… can’t someone else do it?”
“Does anyone else mean as much to Sirius as you do?”
Remus, James thinks. Remus does.
“I’ll figure it out.” James says, changing the subject. “Drink your potion.” He opens his drawer and pulls a vial out of the bag Regulus put together for him, handing it to Monty.
“You should thank your friend for taking the extra steps to make it taste good. These ones are orange.”
James looks at the color and snorts. “Literally.”
“Will I get to know the identity of my mystery savior one day?”
“Er- I’m not sure. Hopefully. Probably.”
“Continue to thank them in the meantime, then.”
"Already am, dad.”
“Hm. Probably not enough, knowing you.”
James begins to protest when a voice from the door interrupts him. “Monty?”
“Sirius! Come in.” Monty sits up a little further in bed and James yanks the now empty vial out of his hand and shoves it back in the drawer, shutting it quickly.
Sirius steps in cautiously, throwing James a quick look. “I could come back later, if you like.”
“No, of course not. It’s fine. Isn’t it?” Monty directs that last bit at James, giving him a look.
James grimaces, but nods at Sirius. Their eyes meet and this time James doesn’t force any unnecessary malice into his gaze. “Yeah. It’s fine. Stay.”
“...Alright. Thanks.”
James looks back at his dad, standing and leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I’m… going to go find Remus.”
Monty smiles and nods, sending him a wink. “Good.”
James and Sirius exchange one final look before he steps out, gently closing the door behind him.
He locates Remus in the guest room, rummaging through his trunk. He knocks lightly on the wall before entering and Remus looks up, startled. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How's your dad?”
“...Ok, I think. I hope. Better, maybe?”
Remus nods. “He seems better. Even just a little bit. Do you know what changed?”
James bites his lip, shoving down the annoying worm of guilt that twists inside his gut. “Nope. Doctors don’t either.”
“Well. If there’s anyone that can beat dragon pox, it’s Monty.”
You’d be surprised , James thinks. He clears his throat. “How was your first week of break without us? Awful? Tragic? The worst time of your life?”
“It was seven days, James.”
“Ah, yes, but seven days without your bestest friends in the whole world.”
Remus’s face sours and James knows what he’s thinking about. He settles down on the carpet, running a hand over the fibers. “It was… awkward, without you here. Me and him, we don’t talk. At all.” He needs Remus to know he’s on his side in this. Needs him to know he won't abandon him.
“You can, you know. I don’t care. He did nothing to you.”
“Yes, he did. I had to try and keep Snape’s ugly ass from bleeding out. That’s enough.”
James means it as a joke, but Remus’s face falls instantly. “How badly was Snape hurt? No one will tell me.”
“Nothing awful. Just a bit of blood and a bump on the head. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not.”
“Liar.”
Remus just sends him a glare as James reaches past him to grab a book out of his trunk, flipping through it. “I still don’t get how you have time to read so much. I could never.”
“You could, actually, if you ever thought about anything other than quidditch.”
James snorts. “You sound like-”
Fuck.
He stops himself just in time. Remus gives him a smug smirk. “Remind you of your boyfriend, do I? Is he mean to you?” James pointedly stays silent and looks away, putting the book back in Remus’s trunk. He can feel Remus’s grin. “You always did like them a little mean, didn’t you Prongs?”
“Lily isn’t mean.”
“Not to the rest of us, but she is to you.”
James feels caught. “Whatever.”
“Uh huh.” Remus shuts his trunk, latching it carefully. “One more clue for me to stow away,” he whispers conspiratorially and James hits his arm.
“Don’t even think about going digging, Lupin.”
“You know I already am.”
James snorts and flops back on the carpet, staring at the ceiling. "Thank you for coming, Moony. I know you didn't have to."
Remus smiles softly. "Of course I did."
---
“I need you two to go into town. I’ve run out of dittany.” Effie shoves a list into James’s hand and he blinks at her. Remus is up in his room napping, and he suspects Monty’s doing the same.
“...Now?”
She levels him with a look and he nods. “Ok. Now. Who’d you mean ‘you two’?”
Effie glances at Sirius. “Sirius, love, you’re good to run to Diagon Alley, right?”
“Oh.” Sirius glances up from where he’s sitting at the table, pouring over his charms essay. “Uh-”
“Mum-”
“Boys- when was the last time you left the house?”
“It’s fine, Effie. We can go.” Sirius stands up quietly, taking the list from James. He heads out of the room towards the fireplace.
James snaps his head back to look at his mother. She narrows her eyes. “James.”
“Did you have to-”
“ James .”
“Fine.” He turns and exits the dining room, finding Sirius waiting by the hearth. Sirius steps in first, grabbing a handful of floo powder and quickly vanishing in a plume of green flame.
James sighs and follows him through. He’s always hated the feeling of the gritty powder slipping through his fingers.
He lands hard on the cobblestone, finding Sirius next to him. “Let's go.”
The crowd bustles with life, shoppers and vendors shouting across the street. It smells like the city, piss and sweat but also something entirely delightful. James starts moving quickly, Sirius jogging to keep up.
“Where do they sell dittany?” Sirius asks, almost running into a small woman with a shawl.
“Cardic's, maybe? They seem to have a lot of herbs.”
They walk in silence, keeping their respective gazes affixed firmly ahead. James tries to stop chewing his cheek, refuses to look next to him. The shop comes into sight and they enter, the hanging angel over the door starting to sing a shrill song in a foreign language. James gives it a look and it stops with a stutter.
Cardic's smells like plants, bunches of dried herbs hanging from every flat surface. Sirius runs a hand through his long hair, and James keeps his eyes on his ceiling when he talks. “No chance you know how to sniff out dittany?”
“It’s there.” Sirius points, grabbing a bundle of small green leaves. They’re so nondescript James would never have been able to recognize them on sight.
“How did you-”
“I keep the supply in Remus’s drawer stocked. Sometimes after the full moon, he refuses to go to Madam Pomfrey so I make him use dittany instead.” Sirius moves before James can respond, placing the bundle of herbs on the counter and pulling out some coins from his pocket, handing them to the witch behind the counter. She places the dittany in a bag and he takes it with a smile and a light thanks. He leaves without a backward glance and after a minute, James follows.
He finds him out in the street. James shifts uncomfortably, staying a few feet away. This is so fucking awkward.
He clears his throat, looking anywhere but at the boy next to him. "Well." He pulls out the list, and when he talks it's more to himself than Sirius. “She says we need-”
Next to him, Sirius seems to snap.
“Fuck this. No.” Sirius shoves the bag of herbs in James’s arms and he takes it, startled. “I can’t fucking do this.”
He turns and is gone in a flash, walking off through the crowd faster than James can keep up. He does his best though, only allowing himself a moment of shock before going after him. “Sirius!”
Sirius doesn’t turn around, moving so quickly James has to run to try and keep up with him. “Sirius, stop!”
He turns down a side street and James follows, clutching the dittany. He and Sirius are fairly well matched athletically- but James has always been faster. He catches Sirius’s arm and the other boy swings around, glaring.
“Stop.” James pants. “Fucking stay put.”
“Oh?” There’s something dark burning in Sirius’s eyes, and it disturbs James how much it reminds him of Regulus. “Now you want me to stay?”
“Sirius-”
“I can’t- I can’t do this, James. I can’t wait here in this fucking purgatory you’re keeping me in. You’ll talk to me, but only when necessary. You’ll look at me, but only when you think I won’t see. I’ve told you I’m sorry, and I’ll say it again if that's what you want. I’ll say it till bloody I die, Prongs. I’ll get it tattooed- muggle style. I just don’t know what you’re waiting for. Make up your mind.”
James takes a physical step back, staring at him. His hair shifts around his face, and not for the first time James notices the dark circles under his eyes. His voice comes out all choked, caught on something he wants so badly but can’t let himself have. “I have to be there for Remus.”
“So you can’t be there for me, then? You have to choose, James.” There are tears in his eyes, hesitating. Held back.
“I- I’m so angry at you.”
Sirius shakes his head, laughing bitterly. “I promise you, I am a hundred times more angry at myself.”
“You hurt him so badly, Sirius.”
“I tend to do that, it seems.”
James turns and paces up the alley a bit, relishing in the cool shadows of the tight walls. He tries to make sense of the broiling undesirable emotions swirling around inside him, and utterly fails. Eventually he turns back to Sirius, staring at him. Against the brick, he looks so small.
“I fucking miss you, Pads.”
The tears finally slip over Sirius’s lashes, running down his cheeks. He brings a sleeve up to quickly wipe them away. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know why I did it.” His voice breaks and he sinks down the wall, knees to his chest. “I don’t know.” He tucks his face into his knees, wrapping himself in his arms.
James crosses to him, kneeling down. His heart aches, like something inside it is desperately trying to get out. There’s something he needs to say before it can, though. Something important. Something he won’t let get lost.
“I don’t forgive you.”
Sirius’s shoulders shudder, and he lets out a pitiful sound.
“I don’t forgive you. I can’t. Not right now.” James runs his hands over Sirius’s shoulders, and it feels so good to finally show affection again. To help him feel better, like he was made to do. Sirius lifts his head, tear stained, and James pulls him in, holding him tight, tucking him into his arms. He ducks his head, whispering soft against his hair. “One day, I will.”
Sirius finally breaks down, gripping James’s shirt as tightly as he can, burying his head in his neck. Sobbing. James squeezes his eyes shut, doing his best not to cry. He shoves down everything in him that’s telling him this is wrong, and holds his best friend tighter.
He’s on the ground now too, knees pressing against cold cobblestone. His trousers are starting to grow damp from the lingering winter frost that hasn’t fully melted yet. Sirius’s breaths are warm against his cheek. “I’m sorry,” He hisses, and James knows it’s genuine. It always has been. “I’m sorry.” He’s skinny in James’s arms. “I’m so sorry.”
James doesn’t even wonder what they look like, two boys curled into each other on the ground in a random side alley. “Sirius,” he whispers. He doesn’t tell him it’s ok, because it’s not, and it won’t be for a little while.
“Thank you.”
James twists his head, not letting him go. “For what?”
“For not sending me back. For letting me stay, even if you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.” I could never hate you. “I wouldn’t make you go back there, Pads.”
“I wish I had the ability to trust that.”
James nods. “Me too.”
Sirius chuckles, bitter. “They ripped that out of me a long time ago, I think.”
James pulls back, settling down against the wall across from him. They stare at each other across the divide, fully looking for the first time in weeks.
“You said a while ago, back in the common room, that you’d hurt Regulus.” He shouldn’t ask. He knows he shouldn’t. But he has to- the question’s been crawling under his skin for days. “What did you mean?”
Sirius shakes his head, tired. “I don’t know. I just- I realized I haven’t done as good a job protecting him as I’d thought.”
“How so?”
“Our mother’s an awful, awful, woman.”
James lets those words fester in his stomach, deciding finally to drop it. He’ll find out eventually, he decides. He always does when it comes to Reg’s secrets. “I’m sorry I gave you mixed signals.”
“I really don’t think you’re the one that should be apologizing right now.”
James sighs. “Probably not.” He stands up slowly, reaching out a hand to help Sirius up. “We have to get through the rest of Mum’s list.”
“God. Alright.” The two of them step out of the side alley, the bright sunlight a harsh contrast to the shadows of the lane. They walk side to side, shoulders occasionally brushing. This time, James doesn’t move. Sirius glances at him sometimes, and James lets him look. They move in silence, but it’s not quite as cold this time. Sirius breaks it with a tentative smile.
“So what was that you said about seeing someone?”
----
Remus is waiting for James when they come back, settled on the couch. Sirius cuts off whatever sentence he was in the middle off, giving Remus a quick glance before leaving the room to set the groceries down. James crosses to the armchair, settling into it. He doesn’t meet Remus’s eyes, but he can feel them on him.
“So you're talking now.”
“Um. Yeah. Yeah, we are. I guess. It’s weird. I haven’t forgiven him, though, don’t worry. I told him as much.”
Remus presses his lips together. “It’s fine, James. Don’t arrange your life around mine.”
“But I just need you to know-”
“James. I don’t care.”
“...Alright.” he says finally, because he’s really at a loss. “You should talk. If you’re ready, of course.”
Remus says nothing, staring at the wall past James’s head. A muscle works in his jaw.
James nods, sighing. “Yeah. I get it.”
For once, he doesn’t press the point.