The Visit
When Remus creeps down the stairs, everyone else is asleep. The fire in the common room has been reduced to embers, crackling and popping with a warm sizzle. Remus stares at it for a moment, basking in its heat. Eventually, he makes his way over to the bookcase against the wall. He tugs it out and freezes at the resulting sound. He waits till he’s sure he’s safe, then pulls out the rolled piece of parchment James and Sirius stashed back there during the day.
He carries it to the fire where he takes a seat on the carpet. Remus runs a hand through his hair then rolls it out across the floor. It’s the chart James and Sirius had been working on, graphing his changes. Every month, as many details as they could remember. Remus can identify both of their handwriting on the parchment, James’s blocky text making up the title and table. Remus sucks in a breath, running his fingers over the paper. Sirius’s writing had always been so distinctly his that Remus could pick it out anywhere. It was loopy and clean, years of pureblood training forcing the pen to trace perfect letters. And yet there was a certain messiness to it as well, as if the rebel in Sirius made him jerk the pen at the end of his o’s or add an unnecessary scribble to his h’s. Regulus’s was similar, Remus realizes, thinking back to their astronomy homework. Except he kept his letters clipped and short, to the point. Nothing unnecessary and nothing that could ever, ever, be deemed as messy .
Remus runs one finger over Sirius’s loopy scrawl, not actually reading the words. He’d told James and Sirius this wasn’t worth their time and that he wouldn’t help, but they’d gone ahead and done it anyway. Bastards. Remus smiles softly in the flickering light.
When he does start reading, though, it’s difficult to push past the growing stutter of his heart. Under the section designated for ‘observations’, Sirius had written nearly everything, text spilling out of the allotted space.
Eyes turn first, before body. Golden yellow, piercing.
Doesn’t like it when we watch him turn, prefers us to turn around. Won’t tell us, though.
Fur is softer the more comfortable he is.
When he changes back, he likes privacy to get changed, unless he’s hurt, in which he likes to be comforted.
Remus hadn’t said any of that to either of them- which meant Sirius had noticed it on his own. He’d been watching, paying attention. It wasn’t just physical characteristics either, it’s preferences and dislikes, things Remus himself wasn’t aware of but now knows to be true.
He frowns, looking at the empty spaces. It’s the full moon tomorrow. They’ll have more data to add.
“Hey.” The voice is soft and right above his shoulder. Remus looks up, though he doesn’t have to. No one else's voice feels like that.
Sirius smiles and takes a seat next to him, looking over the parchment. “I see you couldn’t stay away for long. How’d we do? It was a bit difficult without your input, but we made it work.” He shrugs.
Remus nods, relishing at the way the firelight dances over Sirius’s cheekbones. “Yeah. I’d say you did fairly well.”
“Hm. Still have more to add though.” Sirius looks up then, catches Remus staring. Remus looks away. “Why are you up?”
Remus shakes his head. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Has that been happening a lot? We could go to Madam Pomfrey.”
Remus almost laughs at the concern in his voice. “No need. She already gave me a bunch of sleeping potions. And no, it doesn't happen a lot. Just… just tonight.”
“Oh. Did you give James some?”
Remus cocks his head. “No?”
“Hm.” Sirius looks back at the fire. “He has some too. Takes them often. Madam Pomfrey must’ve helped him out as well.”
“Yeah.” Remus says eventually. “Must’ve.” Sirius’s hair is down and loose, black waves that frame his face perfectly. Remus resists the urge to brush it out of the way, tuck it behind his ear. He bets it's soft. “Why are you up?” He asks, as soon as he can find words.
Sirius just shifts uncomfortably, but doesn’t look at him. “I don’t know.”
Remus’s gaze catches on something peeking out of his pocket. “What are those?”
Sirius follows his eyes and tenses for a second. “Nothing that matters.”
“Sirius.”
They lock eyes, and for a second, nothing moves. Then Sirius reaches into his pocket and pulls out two letters, still in their envelopes. “I was gonna burn them.”
Something sinks in Remus’s stomach. He knows who they’re from, but asks anyway. “Who…”
“Walburga.” Sirius bites out the word, dropping the letters on the carpet in front of them.
“Ah.” Remus feels the familiar anger churn in his stomach, and it’s work to push through it. “What’s she want?”
“My money,” Sirius snorts, flicking the letters lightly.
“What?”
“When Alphard died, apparently he left most of his belongings to me. Including his money.” He eyes the letters ruefully. “So, this is her trying to convince me it’s rightfully hers and I should sign it over.”
“Oh.” Remus grits his teeth. “How many of these has she sent?”
Sirius just shakes his head. “I don’t know. I burn them all. I only opened the first one.”
Remus nods. “Good. That’s good.”
“I suppose.”
Remus hates the look on his face. Decides that he should never look like that again. “You know that’s never going to happen, right? She can’t take your money. Your Uncle left you that, it’s rightfully yours as long as you say it is. She can’t do anything about that.”
Sirius picks at the carpet. “Yeah, but she can do something to me .”
The words send something hot and burning dripping down Remus’s spine. “That’s not true. You’re at James’s now. You're with us. She can’t get to you here.”
Sirius looks away, and the muscles in his jaw tense. “Do you know what my boggart used to be?”
Remus doesn’t, admittedly. Sirius skipped that day of Defense Against the Dark Arts. “No.”
“My brother’s body.”
Oh.
Oh.
Remus wasn’t expecting that.
“And then?”
“And then it changed, to James’s. I don’t know what it is now.” He glances over at Remus through his lashes. “I haven’t checked.” He waves his hand. “That’s not important. She- my mother- hated that. Hated that it was my boggart. She said caring that much about someone was a weakness, that our boggart should be nothing except our own death. Reggie’s was the same, you know. And now- now this…” Sirius looks to the letters.
Remus nudges him with his shoulder, struggling to follow his train of thought. “She can’t get you here. She doesn’t have you anymore.”
“Yeah.” Sirius sighs, and the sound cuts right through Remus. “Yeah, you’re right. She doesn’t have me. But she still has him.”
“You think she’ll do something? What does he have to do with you refusing to give her the money?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think anything. But… I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
Remus catches his wrist as he keeps picking at the carpet. Sirius’s skin is soft under his fingers, and warm. “It’s not stupid. She was wrong, you know. It’s not a weakness. To- to care.”
Sirius holds his gaze. “I know, Moons. If you guys have taught me one thing, it’s that.”
Remus allows himself a second to drink in Sirius’s face, his eyes, his hair, tucking away every detail. He wants to live here, live in this moment where he can stare at Sirius all he wants. Sirius’s eyelashes flutter when he speaks next. “I don’t know how she does it,” He whispers softly. “All these fucking years later, and she still finds her way under my skin.”
Remus lets out a breath. “Mothers have a way of doing that, I suppose.” He thinks of his own, curled in bed, eyes staring off into nothing, another full mug of tea cooling on the table next to her. At least she didn’t leave him covered in scars, Remus thinks, eyeing the silvery one peeking out from under Sirius’s shirt. She didn’t need to. He was more than capable of doing that to himself.
“She’s not my mother.”
Remus studies him for a moment. “You should burn them,” he whispers finally, and Sirius picks the letters up.
He feeds them into the fire slowly, one at a time. When the second one goes in, he rests his head on Remus’s shoulder and they watch as the flame curls over Walburga’s jagged writing. Remus feels the weight of Sirius’s head and leans into it, trying to keep his heartbeat as soft as the other boy’s breath. The fire crackles and the last letter crumbles into ashes.
“Bitch,” Sirius whispers, and Remus chuckles.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
---
“I still don’t understand,” Lily says, clutching her books to her chest. “Why haven’t they won yet? They’ve beat each team already.”
Remus rolls his eyes, doing his best to keep up with her. He has longer legs, but she’s always been unexpectedly fast. “I don’t know. James said something about a tournament. They have to play more than once?”
“That’s stupid.”
“I know.”
“They beat all of them. Why do they have to do it again?”
Remus sighs. “Who knows, honestly. I think they just want to keep playing.”
Lily groans. “I hate Quidditch.”
“Don’t tell James that.”
“Oh, he knows.”
Remus laughs. The cool light of the February sun slants in through the windows, staining her hair an even more vibrant red. “I wish they’d take up… chess, or something. At least then I could help.”
“Pshh- I could beat you in chess any day.”
“Oh, please, Evans.”
Lily grins, and her nose scrunches just a bit. “I’m confident. Pretty sure I beat you last week, actu-”
“Lily?”
Both Remus and Lily come to a halt in the middle of the hallway. Snape stands in front of them, staring at Lily and pointedly ignoring Remus. “Lily? Can I talk to you?”
A biting remark hesitates on Remus’s tongue, but he knows this is Lily’s fight. He stays quiet.
“No thank you, Severus. Me and Remus have to get to class.” She keeps her voice prim and proper. Snape sneers.
“I don’t know how you can stand to speak to him.”
Remus raises a brow at him and Lily shoots him a look. “It’s not up to you.”
“Oh, come on-”
“Severus,” She cuts him off, and Remus can see the hurt in her eyes. The age-old betrayal. “Please, just go. I don’t want another fight.”
“Because that went so well for your lot last time, did it? How’s Pandora?”
“She’s fine, actually.” Lily says at the same time as Remus asks “How's Avery?”
Snape’s eyes darken. “If Black hadn’t gone bloody crazy-”
Lily glances at Remus. “Sirius?”
Remus shakes his head. “Regulus.”
“Ah.” She directs her attention back to Snape. “Please, Severus, Remus and I are going to be late.”
“Just a minute, please, Lily?”
“Oh, it’s Lily now, is it?” Her voice turns mean, and Remus takes a step next to her instictually. “It was Evans last week in front of your mates. What changed?”
Snape shuffles on his feet. “They aren’t here.”
Lily’s lip curls back. “Leave me alone, Snape.”
Remus watches the words hit him, the hurt and anger flashing across his face. “Fuck you, Evans. Here I am, trying to be nice, and you-”
“Leave it, Snape.” Remus growls. “You heard her.”
“Stay out of this, Lupin. Don’t think I don’t see you and that bloody traitor Black wandering around here as if you own the place. Muggle-sympathizers.” Snape raises his hands in mock surrender when Remus takes a threatening step forward. “I don’t need to do anything. The Dark Lord will take care of you lot quick enough.”
“What are you-”
“Don’t worry, Lily,” Snape sneers, turning back to her. There’s no familiarity in his eyes, just pure spite. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be talking to a dirty Mudblood anyway. I would want to get any filth on me, now would I? Best to steer clear.”
Remus’s hand goes for his wand, but Lily catches his arm, lips pressed into a tight line. Her face is stony, but Remus can see it in her eyes. The hurt. The sadness. A line between them, her and Snape, seems to rip, tearing in two. Remus can almost hear it, the snap of the tread.
“Goodbye, Severus.” Lily says, sending him one last look. There are tears in her eyes, glittering on her lashes, but she doesn’t let them fall. Blinking rapidly, she tugs Remus on and they keep walking.
“God, Lily, I’m so sorry. He’s disgusting. He-”
“Look,” Lily says, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t want to stand here and listen to you insult my friend. So can we talk about something else please?”
“Your friend?” Remus asks incredulously. “Lily, he just called you a- a-”
“I know what he said.” She shakes her head, staring at the ground as she walks. “You’re right. He’s not my friend. But I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I’m more than capable of handling Severus myself.”
“I know,” Remus exhales, looping his arm through hers. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She sends him a sad smile. “So… a round of chess at lunch?”
Remus grins, the dark mass inside of him receding slightly. “You’re on.”
---
Lily does beat him at chess, not that Remus was expecting anything else. After she disappears back to the common room to find Mary, Remus sits down with James and Sirius. Pete’s somewhere- probably the greenhouses. “Ugh. She’s got to stop being so bloody good at that game,” he groans, staring after her.
“That was brutal,” James agrees, clapping him on the back. “You might want to give up on chess, mate.”
“Oh, as if you’d do any better.” Remus rolls his eyes, pulling a book out of his bag.
“Against Evans? Easy.” James crosses his arms and Sirius snorts.
“Remember last year, when you kept challenging her to games of chess just so you could keep talking to her?”
James’s grin falters, almost imperceptibly. “God, I was a dick.”
“Just a bit,” Remus agrees, not looking up from his page.
“It’s alright. You toned down the overtly obvious pinning this year.” Sirius pours himself another glass of pumpkin juice. “I actually haven’t seen you serenade her with one love song yet. It’s a new record. Must be.”
James groans, and Remus and Sirius share a look. Sirius leans over and claps him on the back. “Don’t worry mate, it’s good. You have more of a chance this way, anyway.”
James shifts, avoiding their eyes. “Yeah. Right. I suppose.”
“You are still into her, aren’t you?” There’s something sharp in Sirius’s tone, and Remus puts a bookmark in his book, setting it down.
“Sirius,” He murmurs softly, a warning, but Sirius ignores him.
James swallows. “I don’t know. I don’t um… I don’t think so.”
“Oh.” Sirius sits back, staring at him. “Wow. James Potter finally over Lily Evans. Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Yeah. Well. I don’t know.” James sighs. “I’m sure Snape will be thrilled.”
Remus groans, leaning forward to bang his head on the table. “I cannot hear that name right now.”
“Wait, what’d he do?” Sirius asks, furrowing his brow.
Remus sighs. “Oh, the usual. Called Lily a- well. I’m sure you know. Said he didn’t want to get any filth on him.”
Sirius and James rise from their seats instantly. “What?” James hisses.
Remus nods. “She doesn’t want another fight though, so I stayed out of it.”
“Fuck that,” Sirius grits, and steps out from behind the bench.
“Sirius,” Remus warns.
“That greasy little-”
“James.”
Both Sirius and James look at him desperately, like little kids asking for something they know they can’t have. “We have to do something, Moons.” Sirius growls.
“I know. We will.”
James takes a hesitant seat as Pete comes out to join them. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Remus says.
“I’m going to go strangle a snake,” Sirius fumes, and before anyone can stop him, he starts to walk off.
Remus shoots a pleading look at James, who sighs. “I’m not saying I won’t curse him the next time I see him, but fine. Go after him. Stop him if you must. For Lily.”
Remus nods and goes off after Sirius. He catches up to him in the hall. “Hey. What’s your plan?”
Sirius laughs and shrugs. “I don’t have one. Curse him blind?”
Remus groans. “Sirius…”
Sirius stops dead in the hall and turns to him. “Did he really call her a mudblood? Did he call her ‘filthy’?”
Hearing the words again does nothing to calm the burning fury that’s lingered ever since the incident.
“Yes.” Remus says, and Sirius notes the change in his voice with a nod.
“There you go.”
“Still. Lily asked us to stay out of it.”
“Oh, no. She asked you.”
“Sirius-”
“Mr. Black!”
Both Remus and Sirius look up at Mcgonagall, who stands with her hands clasped in front of them. Her expression is pained and twisted, and Remus instantly knows it can’t be anything good. “Mr. Black.” She says again with a frown.
“Yes Professor?”
“I must ask you to come with me.”
“Where?”
“To Professor Dumbledore’s office.”
Sirius frowns. “Why?”
“Your parents are here to see you.”
Next to him, Sirius freezes, and Remus feels it. Subconsciously, he presses his shoulder against Sirius’s, mind buzzing. “My parents?” Sirius manages.
“Yes, Mr. Black.”
“You mean… You mean Monty and Effie?”
Something flickers across McGonagall's face, and Remus knows the answer before she says it. “No. I mean Walburga and Orion.”
Sirius doesn’t move, and Remus swears he can feel his heart beat through the point their shoulders touch. “Why?”
“They will have to tell you. Please come along now, your brother’s already with them.”
“Ok.” Something in Sirius’s face sets, hard. He takes a step, then turns to Remus. “I- I, um- nevermind.” He takes another step. “I’ll be back,” He mutters, then follows McGonagall forward.
Remus can’t move for a minute, heart pounding. He forces himself to unfreeze, and then he’s running back the way he came. He bursts into the dinning hall and makes a beeline for their table. “James,” he pants, and James looks up sharply at his tone. “Where’s Pete?”
“Went off to find the girls. What’s wrong. Where’s Sirius? What did he do?”
“No he-” Remus gasps for breath. “Wal-Walburga. And Orion. They’re here. Sirius’s gone to see them.”
James shoots to his feet. “What? Why?”
Remus shakes his head. “I don’t know. We need to go. Now. Regulus is already with them.”
With that, James grabs his arm and they take off running, feet slapping the stone floor. “Where?”
“Dumbledore’s office.” They tear down the hall, and Remus appreciates the shared urgency flowing between them.
“Fuck,” James hisses, and Remus just gasps in response, legs moving as fast as possible.
---
Regulus, not for the first time, finds himself sitting sandwiched between his parents. He can feel his mother on one side, viciously arguing with a calm and gentle Dumbledore. His father next to him stays silent, keeping one hand on the arm of Regulus’s chair. Walburga had greeted him with a frown, and told him his hair was too long. Orion ignored him entirely.
“You obviously don’t understand,” Walburga hisses, leaning across the desk. “That money is ours. Not… not his .”
“Mrs. Black,” Dumbledore clasps his hands in front of him, and Regulus tries not to be sick. “We’ve already sent for Sirius. He should be here soon and we can settle this whole matter.”
Regulus has to close his eyes. He wonders how much of himself he can fit into his head, how deep he can go. How far he can drown. He got a head start, after all: as soon as Slughorn told him his parents were here, he started to let the water in.
“... te l'ai dit, Regulus, you need to pay attention.”
Regulus focuses back on the conversation, trying to stay as present as possible. “Sorry, Maman,” He mutters, and she just throws up her hands, exasperated. Regulus hopes Dumbledore doesn’t see his flinch.
Just then the door opens, and McGonagal enters, followed stiltedly by Sirius. They instantly make eye contact, and for a moment, Regulus can almost pretend they’re on the same side of this - whatever this is. Then Sirius tears his gaze away, and it’s gone.
“Walburga,” Sirius says cooly, crossing his arms. His voice is lazy but his shoulders are stiff, muscles tensed.
“Mr. Black. Nice of you to join us.” Dumbledore says, gesturing to another chair he conjures. “Please take a seat.”
Sirius shakes his head, and stays standing. “No, thank you. I’d like them gone as quickly as possible.”
Walburga turns her gaze on him. “You think we want to spend another second here? You think we want to have to speak with you? If you’d have just answered any of our letters-”
“I burned them,” Sirius hisses with a smirk.
“Of course you did.” Walburga growls, and Regulus can see her fingers tighten on her chair. “You have no right to that money, boy.”
“Oh, please,” Sirius snorts. “It’s not like you need it. And Uncle-”
“He is not your uncle.” Orion says coolly, looking at Sirius for the first time. “He stopped being your Uncle when you left this house.”
Regulus notices, immediately, when Sirius’s eyes flick to meet his, then find their father. “Is that right? Why didn’t he say that in the will, then? Pretty sure he addressed it to ‘my nephew, Sirius’.”
Regulus turns back around in his chair and stares at the opposite wall. The white paint glistens, not a chip in sight. Regulus watches as a bead of condensation rolls down a painting frame.
“If everybody would please stay calm, I’m sure we could-”
“Silence, le vieillard. This is between us and him.”
“Actually, it’s not, because I have to get to quidditch practice.”
The drop hangs on the corner of the painting, waiting. Gathering.
“Mr. Black. Please don’t leave this room until-”
“That money’s mine, Professor. I don’t care. I don’t want them here. I don’t want to see them anymore.”
Another drop runs down and joins the first, and the whole thing shakes with Sirius’s footsteps.
“Sirius Orion Black, I order you to-”
“I am not your fucking son.”
The door slams, and the droplet falls, landing on the wood of the floor. Regulus can no longer feel his own breath.
“Mrs. Black, Mr. Black, if you could kindly stay in here-”
“Regulus, get up.”
Then there are nails digging into his arm, and he’s being yanked from his seat. He stumbles but rights himself, following his mother out of the room and after Sirius. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. One-
When they make it into the hall, Sirius whirls on them. “What do you think you’re going to get out of me?”
Walburga tuts. “If you’d have a simple conversation with us-”
“Oh? Now you want a conversation? Last time we saw each other, there wasn’t much talking involved.”
Regulus forms his hand into a fist, nails finding their familiar groves on his palm.
“Listen, you br-”
“Sirius!”
And Regulus freezes, because he knows that voice. God, does he know that voice.
James and Remus skid to a stop, obviously running and out of breath. Sirius sends them a grateful look. “Are you ok?” Remus asks.
“Fine. I’m trying to get them to leave.”
“I’ll help,” James growls, taking a step forward.
“Don’t worry, Potter.” (Regulus has the urge to claw that name out of her throat and take it somewhere safe and warm, somewhere she can’t reach) “You can have him,” Walburga spits. “We just need-”
“You aren't getting a sickle,” Sirius hisses.
“You heard him.” Remus says forcefully, and Regulus decides right then and there that he likes Remus Lupin.
But then someone’s behind him, and he can feel their breath on his neck. He recognizes it immediately, of course. His father always smells of cigar smoke and leather- the hallowed halls of Hogwarts do nothing to change that.
Orion grips Regulus’s shoulder and murmurs in his ear. “That money is rightfully yours. Don’t you agree?”
Regulus’s eyes lock on James, who’s staring at him. Trying to stay as still as possible, Regulus forces himself to nod. Orion squeezes his shoulder in what could’ve been a calming gesture, but isn’t. “Then you will help us get it. Won’t you?”
“Oui, Papa.” Regulus says.
“Good. Talk to him. Now.” Regulus feels it, the threat in his voice. He knows a warning when he hears one.
“Sirius,” He says, and feels the word get caught on its way out.
“Oh, do you have something to say?” Sirius growls, turning on him. “Why the fuck are you even here?”
“I-”
“Did Maman and Papa miss their special boy?”
Regulus seals his lips shut, staring at Sirius. Trying to communicate. They’ve once again ended up where they always seem to be: Regulus begging him to just listen and Sirius refusing. At the top of the stairs, Dumbledore’s door creaks open. Regulus makes a decision and moves forward, till he’s right in front of Sirius and James. “If you do it, they won't hurt you.” It’s not the first time he’s said those words, and Sirius knows it. Regulus watches their impact, watches him take a step back. He knows he’s remembering that night.
He feels no satisfaction.
“They can’t hurt me either way, Reg.” Sirius says quietly. “I’m not their son anymore, remember?
Regulus searches his eyes for something, anything, pity or remorse or fear or kindness- and comes up with nothing but anger. “You’re making a mistake,” He hisses.
“Why are you still acting as their puppet?” Sirius takes a step forward, and Regulus holds his ground. “Oh, I see.” He chuckles. “You’re afraid if I don’t agree they’ll take it out on you, is that it? Hm. Shame. You made your choice.” Sirius looks him over once, and the disgust in his eyes is almost too much for Regulus to take. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “You’ll have to face this one on your own.”
---
James doesn’t know what to do. He’s learned, by now, how to read Regulus. Even behind the mask. Sirius too, though he does a lot less to hide his emotions. But right now… James has no idea what’s happening in their heads. They’re staring at each other, and James can do nothing but watch. Wait.
“Fine. Refuse. I really do not care.” Regulus’s voice is cold. “It’s your choice.”
Sirius opens his mouth then closes it, obviously at a loss. “I…”
“Regulus.” Walburga’s voice. James hates the way Regulus stiffens, turning to face her. She glides over the floor towards them, and Sirius takes a step back, towards Remus. Regulus stays put. James resists the urge to pull his wand.
She takes her place next to her son, looking Sirius over with a slight sneer. “Have you had no effect?”
“Sorry Mother,” Regulus monotones, still staring at Sirius. “He refuses.”
“Why are you here then, if you have no purpose?”
“I don’t know. Shall I return to class?”
James wants to reach out and pull him away from her. He doesn’t move.
“No.” Walburga crosses her arms over her chest. “Can you not appeal to him at all?”
Regulus reaches up and rubs his shoulder subconsciously. “I don't think he can be reasoned with.”
Walburga yanks Regulus’s hand down, shoving it to his side. “Don’t do that. Do not fidget.” Regulus says nothing. James tries to catch his eye, but can’t. “Useless,” Walburga mutters. Regulus just stares.
“May I return to class?”
Dumbledore comes downstairs, clearing his throat. “Soon, Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter. I’m afraid this doesn’t concern you.”
“They stay.” Sirius says, and James breathes a sigh of relief.
Dumbledore studies him for a moment. “Very well. Would we like to move this back into my office?”
“No.” Sirius glares at everyone, and James can see how little he has left in him. How close he is to breaking. “I want them gone. I’m done talking about this.”
“I will be contacting someone from the Ministry,” Walburga says, looking from Dumbledore to Sirius. “About both of you. There’s something to be done.”
“Go for it. But leave, now. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“You ungrateful little brat. After all we’ve done for you-”
Sirius snaps, anger flooding out in waves. “You’ve done nothing for me! None of you have. That house was a hell hole, and I’m glad I got out. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t owe you anything, including a galleon of my inheritance. The House of Black! J'espère que vous pourrissez tous.”
Orion takes a step back and Walburga just narrows her eyes. There’s something in Regulus’s face James can’t quite decipher, but doesn’t like nonetheless.
Sirius wheels around. Remus grabs his arm, but Sirius tosses him off. “Don’t. I need to be alone.”
James can do nothing but watch as his best friend stalks off. He and Remus exchange a look. “Let's give it five,” He mutters. Remus nods.
“Why aren't we going now?”
James clears his throat. He looks back up at Regulus. He can see the tremor in his hand he’s trying so desperately to hide. “Just…” He glances back at Remus. “You can go. See if you can find him, but the map’s back in the dorm.”
“James.”
James takes a deep breath and looks his friend in the eyes. Remus takes a step towards him and casts a meaningful glance towards Regulus. “I don’t know what you’re doing. But be careful. Please.”
James looks down. “I will.” he mutters.
With that, Remus turns and starts off after Sirius. James turns back to the others, addressing Walburga. “You can do whatever you want. But he’s with us now. I won’t let you get your claws in him again.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Potter. I’m sure your home has been just the calming environment he needed.” Walburga tilts her head. “How’s your father?”
James takes a staggering step back, seeing red. Regulus clears his throat, interrupting James’s plan to fully launch himself at her. “Maman, if this is temporarily settled, I need to return to class.”
“Regulus.” Her voice is harsh as she grabs his arm. James notices Regulus’s wince, and it does nothing to temper the fire burning within him. “You will not disappoint.” It’s more of an order than a statement.
“No, Maman.”
“Go. We’ll write.” She releases him with a shove and Regulus is gone, walking past James without so much as a glance in his direction. James sends one last glare at Walburga and Orion and then follows Regulus, raising one middle finger in their direction.
As soon as they turn the corner, James catches up to Regulus, walking next to him. He can hear the other boy’s breath, and the sound is slightly grounding. “Reg-”
But Regulus just shakes his head sharply, silent. They move quickly through the halls, and James knows immediately where they're going. They find their destination quickly and the door appears right on cue. Regulus opens it and goes in, not waiting to see if James follows. He does, of course.
Regulus stops in the middle of the room, facing away from him. His shoulders heave with deep breaths, the rest of him unnaturally still. James watches him for a moment then walks over, not touching. Not yet.
“Regulus.”
Regulus turns to look at him then, and James’s heart cracks slightly. Reg’s eyes are wide, scared. All his guards are down, and James can see the effort its taking to keep them that way. “I’m sorry.” he whispers. “I wasn’t expecting- I didn’t think they’d show up here.”
“It’s alright. Hey, can I touch you?”
Regulus hesitates for a second then nods, and James enfolds him in his arms. Kisses the top of his head. Tries to banish everything his mother has ever done to him, expelling her touches and curses with his lips. “Come on, love.” he whispers, pulling him to the couch. Settling down, seating Regulus next to him.
Regulus wraps his arms around himself. James swallows. “What did Sirius say? At the end? I don’t speak French.”
Regulus’s lips twist unpleasantly. “Nothing good.”
“No. No, I didn’t think so.”
“I’m… sorry she said something about your father. I didn’t think she’d go there.” Regulus shakes his head with a bitter laugh. “I don’t know why. Of course she would.”
“It’s ok.”
“Shit, you’re going to have to deal with Sirius now and everything. God.”
“Reg?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“...Yes?”
“Why won’t you come home with me?”
Regulus closes his eyes briefly. “James.” His voice is already fatigued.
“Just- I don’t understand.” Because he doesn’t, he really doesn’t, and at this point he doesn’t need to. He doesn’t care what Regulus is about to say.
“I can’t.”
“Yes, but you can though. You can. We have an extra room, and my parents will be more than happy to have you, especially after they find out what you did for my dad, and Sirius- I’ll make him deal with it.” James sits forward.
“That’s not how that works.”
“Then tell me how it works, please, because I need to know. Whatever it is, we can figure it out.”
Regulus shakes his head, standing up. James misses his presence on the couch. “I- I’m in it now, James. This is my life, and I can’t run, despite how easy it was for my brother. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
And that’s not nearly good enough for James. “But you want to, don’t you? You want to go. Right?”
Regulus just stares at him, something unreadable reflected in his gaze. “James-”
“Come back with me. Don’t stay with them. They’re- they’re awful. I don’t see how you can bear it.”
“I love them.” Regulus whispers, and the words tear at James’s stomach.
“How?” He asks before he can help it.
“They’re my parents.”
James narrows his eyes. “They hurt you.”
Regulus just shakes his head. “They love me.”
James frowns. “Regulus-”
“I can’t, James.”
“But-”
“No. I told you. This is what we get. This. I won't go. I won’t go. Will you ?”
What? “What? Regulus- of course not. Of course I won’t.” Then James is standing too, and reaches out to him.
Reg watches him slightly distrustfully, walls up. James offers him a small smile. “Reg. Please. We don’t have to talk about this.”
He takes his hand, gently, and pulls him forward, taking a seat on the couch. Regulus stands between his legs, looking down at him. Almost as if he can’t stop himself, Reg reaches out and runs a hand through James’s hair. James grins, leaning in to the feeling. Regulus leans down and lifts James’s chin, kissing him gently. James’s hands find Regulus’s body and he pulls him down, pulls him closer.
Regulus takes a step then, carefully and with no small amount of hesitation, settles onto James’s lap. James smiles against his mouth.
“Mmm.” He hums, running a thumb over Regulus’s pulse point. “What do you want?”
Regulus’s eyes fix on James’s lips. “Distract me.”
James grins. “I can do that.”
---
When James finally leaves, it’s late. He only goes because he needs to find the others and get to the shrieking shack before Remus changes- and times ticking. It’s the full moon tonight, something he’d almost forgotten until it was nearly too late.
The castle is quiet in the evening dusk, gentle sounds here and there. Mostly, everything stays still, cast in a purple glow. James finds Sirius leaning up against a wall on the way back to the common room, inspecting his nails. When he notices James he looks up with a sharp grin. It was almost jarring, especially after the last time James had seen him.
“Prongs! You’re back.”
“Sirius- what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the shack already?” James looks around. “Where’s Remus? Where’s Pete?”
But Sirius just shrugs. “Haven't seen them since lunch.”
Something cold drips down James’s spine. “What? Moony didn’t find you?”
“Nope.” Sirius smiles.
“Did he look for you?”
Sirius shrugs again.
“Did you look for him?”
“Eh. For a bit. Then I ran into someone a lot more interesting.”
And James knows, just from the look on his face. “Snape.”
Sirius smirks, eyes glittering. James moves forward, feeling like something’s gone very, very wrong. “Lily told Remus we should stay out of it. Sirius, what did you do?”
Sirius shrugs again, still smiling. “Nothing he didn’t deserve. They should be at the shack by now. In a minute we’ll go down and I’ll show you.”
James can’t think through his rising panic. “ They? Sirius- show me what?”
Sirius grins, all sharp teeth and pointed fangs. “What I did.”
The world stands still. James could swear the birds stop chirping in the trees, holding their collective breath. James stumbles back, staring at him. “Did you- Did you tell Snape about Remus?”
Which is a stupid question.
Because he didn’t, right?
Because James is just over reacting.
Because he couldn’t.
Because he would never.
Because he’s Remus’s best friend.
Because-
Sirius waves a hand. “Oh, no. Not that.”
James gasps, flooded with powerful, shameful, relief.
“I just told him how to get under the tree.”