Chapter 11
“Theo.” Draco whispered as he led Hermione through the entrance of their dark cabin onboard the Durmstrang ship. He could hardly see a thing, but he prayed to Merlin his brother would be inside. “Theo, mate, are you there?”
Once Hermione was clear of the doorway, he shut it softly. That was when he heard it. “Lumos.” He whispered before realizing Hermione still had his wand. Deciding it wasn’t worth it, he quickly walked closer until he could make out the wizard curled up on the floor and whimpering. Shite.
Draco hated himself. He hated himself for not coming sooner, faster, anything. He just, he hated seeing Theo looking so broken.
“Theo,” he said again, slightly louder this time as he let go of Hermione’s hand and walked towards him. He took a seat directly next to Theo so that all of his left side brushed against Theo’s right. Only then did Theo stop. He froze as though every muscle in his body had seized until he lifted his head impossibly slowly and their eyes met. “Theo, I—” but Draco didn’t even get a chance to finish before Theo launched himself towards him, wrapping his arms around Draco’s head. The surprise of it had caught him off guard and he fell over with his brother partly on top of him.
“Theo,”
“You’re not dead.” The words were whispered so softly he almost missed them, but he didn’t, and his heart lurched. Salazar, he’d fucked up.
“I know.” He wrapped his arms back around him.
“Merlin, you’re not dead. I thought you were dead. You can’t be dead.” He jerked back and his hands landed on the sides of Draco’s face as his head shook jostling Draco’s in the process, “You can’t be dead too. I can’t—Draco, you…I thought you were dead too.”
“I know.” He said and leaned up so their foreheads connected, and Theo could feel him breathe. “I won’t leave you. Theo, I swear, I’ll never leave you like that.”
“Oh Salazar, Draco.” He breathed and Draco could see the tears streaming from his bloodshot eyes. “Draco, I thought—”
“I know. I’m okay.” He shook his head, “I’m fine, I’m okay. I’m here. I promise.”
Draco didn’t know how long they sat like that, holding each other as his brother cried, but quite a bit of time had definitely passed. They’d shifted at some point so Draco could sit up and he just held Theo’s head to his chest as his other arm wrapped around his shoulders. Theo was still in the jumper and pants he’d worn when they left. Draco wasn’t sure how long Hermione and he had been gone for, but it was clear Theo hadn’t left their room ever since. He wouldn’t question it though, he couldn’t, not when he’d disappeared on his brother.
That was the one thing he swore he could never do. Everyone always left Theo alone. Draco knew the deaths of his family had left too many scars to count. They’d been left on both of them, but there was a part of Theo he’d practically see go more out each time they’d found a body. Draco had never meant to add to that, and he hated that for a moment he had.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He said it into the darkness over and over again. That is, until there was a noise, a sniffle actually, and Draco remembered they weren’t alone. “Hermione?” he whispered, and Theo pulled away when they saw her figure stand from where she’d apparently been sitting by the door.
“Hi, sorry, I um,” she walked towards them, “I didn’t mean to interrupt, it’s just that it’s so sweet and I know how…I just…” she didn’t seem to know what to say, and Theo was blatantly gaping at her so Draco just patted the ground next to him, so she’d sit. She did on his other side, and her knee ended up resting against Draco’s—a fact which he tried to tell himself not to notice. Clearly now is not the time. “Sorry,” she whispered.
“You’re not dead.” Theo’s voice was wobbly and quiet as his eyes scanned her.
“No, I’m not. I’m sorry we—”
“It wasn’t a dream.” This time Draco watched Hermione’s face jump in surprise.
“What?”
“Can I hug you?” he answered slightly louder, and tears were streaming down his face again. “I just—I don’t know if that’s weird, but I’d really like to hug you, please.”
“Yes, of course.” She said and this time Hermione was the one who practically hurled herself at Theo’s side to hug him. The second they collided, Theo’s arms were around her tightly and Draco watched him bury his face in her curls. A part of him was jealous of the contact, but he knew his friend needed the moment. Theo had looked so broken when they’d gotten here, and now, fuck, he still looked broken but at least he seemed alive again.
“It wasn’t a dream.” Draco heard him whispering it into her hair a couple of times and his stomach felt sick. After what had to be another ten minutes passing, Hermione pulled away from him and her cheeks seemed to be as stained with tears as her brothers were—though of course she didn’t know exactly why he’d been so upset.
“Theo, what wasn’t a dream?” she asked carefully as she settled herself then, this time between them both.
“You.” He said quietly, and Draco saw him wipe his face on the sleeve of his jumper before he cleared his throat. “You’ve been a good friend, Hermione.” He swallowed. “I know you don’t know me well, or for very long I guess, but I don’t have a lot of those. Friends, I mean. When I find people I—they tend to…” his eyes locked on Draco’s and he knew what Theo couldn’t say. “When you both—I thought I might have dreamed meeting you or something, that your kindness had been er, a figment of my imagination…that’s better than wondering if someone’s just dead, right?”
“Oh Theo,” Hermione cried and wrapped her arms around him again, “I’m real. I promise I’m real, see,” she took his hand and placed two of his fingers on her wrist. “As long as you can feel my blood beating that means I’m alive. It’s called a pulse and I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled and Draco knew she had no idea how much that fact meant to them both. Theo’s eyes were locked on where he held her wrist, appearing mesmerized by the existence of a life force within her, Draco could relate.
They sat like that for hours together on the ground. Every once in a while, someone would speak, but for the most part they just appreciated one another’s presence in silence. At some point Hermione’s head lulled to the side and landed on Draco’s shoulder as she fell asleep, not long after Theo seemed to pass out as well against the wall. Draco noticed though, he never once let go of his sister’s wrist, his two fingers permanently stationed to monitor her life beating.
Draco didn’t sleep. It wasn’t all that unfamiliar an experience for him, but tonight rather than the usual plague of anxieties keeping him awake, it was different. He didn’t even want to sleep then, because feeling his witch breathing beside him and the soft smile on her brother’s face as he dreamt, it was perfect. Draco wanted to savor every moment that he could in case he lost them again.
Because fuck, this moment felt like a knife to the chest and finding his home all at once. Theo and Emmeline, they looked just like they always had ten years ago, always attached to one another. Draco had missed it. Salazar, he had missed them. He’d missed being a part of their family. Which, obviously, he knew he never was. As much as Thoros and Kassandra may have tried to convince him otherwise over the years, he wasn’t a Nott. But when he was a kid, he’d loved pretending.
He'd followed Emmeline and Theo everywhere they went just because they loved including him. They’d been like opposite sides of the same galleon, always debating, and they’d forced him to decide everything. The best part was that whenever he’d picked a side, they would always gang up on him together to defend the other and say he couldn’t pick favorites. It was maddening but for those few brief years it had been everything to Draco. He hadn’t had a sibling to care about him like that. His only other alternative had been to face ridiculing instruction from his father at home. He would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Seeing them together now, just at peace again, fuck, it made him hope this might all work out okay.
Hermione—Emmeline—he didn’t really know what to call her, shifted in her sleep. He worried for a moment she was waking but instead she mindlessly wrapped the arm Theo wasn’t holding around Draco’s bicep and, for a second, he couldn’t breathe. She was just so beautiful, even as she dreamt. A part of him wondered if she ever had the same dreams he always did. Though, as he thought about it, he realized he hadn’t dreamt at all when Regulus had taken them. In fact, Draco didn’t think he’d had a single vision since before that day in the hospital wing a week ago. What was it that caused them? Why had they stopped? Was it because of their proximity? Though that theory didn’t make any sense. He’d been going to class with Emmeline since September. If proximity were the issue, shouldn’t they have stopped then? Instead, they’d just gotten worse, happening every night. Draco was still pondering this when he Hermione woke slowly beside him.
“Morning,” he whispered as her perfect lashes fluttered open. And he couldn’t help it if his lips twitched when her brown eyes locked on his.
“Draco?” she seemed confused.
“Yes?”
“What—” Theo snored in his sleep and Hermione startled, jumping to lean slightly into Draco’s shoulder before she sat back up. “Did we fall asleep?”
He smiled as she yawned widely and tried to cover it with her elbow ineffectively. “Yes, love. But just for a few hours.”
Hermione beamed up at him then, he wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve it, but he felt like he’d won a prize watching her rosy cheeks and dreamy eyes. She hummed in response and Draco forced himself to look away at the hands in his lap lest he start staring again.
“I should probably go.” She said after a few minutes and Draco frowned.
“What?”
“I should find Harry.”
“Potter?” Why did she need to find Potter?
Hermione let out a small laugh and Draco was more confused.
“Draco, I need to tell him I’m alright.”
“Oh.” He didn’t even mean to say it, but the sound alone conveyed his feelings perfectly.
“Stop.” She laughed and the soft sound was melodic, he wanted to hear it again. “You look so disappointed.” She teased.
“In you?” he grinned softly, shaking his head. “Never.”
“Ugh, Merlin’s beard that was gross.” That response came from Theo who Draco had thought was still asleep. His best friend leaned in front of Hermione then and threw him a mocking brow. “You can do better than that, mate. That was sad.” But Draco’s witch started giggling beside him so he tried not to take too much offense.
“Shut up.” He said, though he chanced a nervous glance at Hermione. She smiled and elbowed him in the side lightly as her shoulders shook with laughter.
“It was rather corny.”
“Yes, and if you’re going to flirt with her, you could at least make it clever.” Theo snarked and Draco froze. Was he flirting with Hermione? He wasn’t really sure how to flirt. Draco had never bothered with girls before, there wasn’t any point seeing as he’d he thought he already found—and lost—his soulmate. Furthermore, engaging with girls could only bring further scrutiny and disapproval from his father. He’d been instructed to get to know the Parkinson girl during his time at Hogwarts though. There was something about her that his father must have deemed worthy when they spoke over the summer. But everything he’d seen so far, Draco found tasteless and awful. The few times he’d attempted to engage with her had been utterly painful as she made no attempt to hide her social-climbing agenda or display anything even slightly real. Every time she’d tried to speak to him, he’d spent the entire conversation waiting for her to stop.
But Hermione, Salazar she was witty. And she was brilliant. And she was breathtakingly beautiful. Draco knew the mate thing was factor in it, but he was sure even without it he’d have noticed her. He’d have noticed that regardless of how many times Snape shot her down in a classroom she always raised her hand. How much she cared for Potter and Weasley that she kept up with everything they said, despite having little interest in much of it. Or how each smile she gave him made him want to do whatever it took to earn another. He wanted to ask her what her favorite books were, if she had any animals, how she spent her free time, what the people who’d taken her in had been like. He wanted to know it all. Draco supposed that if that was flirting then yes, he was.
“Are you?” the question was spoken softly, and Draco realized they’d all gone quiet; the laughter had stopped. When he turned to her, Hermione looked incredibly anxious. Her brows were furrowed as she fiddled with one of her curls and bit her lip in a way that Draco wasn’t fully ready to acknowledge was so distracting to him. Her shoulders were stiff and when he glanced over, Theo was watching him intently.
“Er, yeah.” He said, looking at his own hands with nerves he wasn’t used to having. “Is that okay?” he would never want to make her uncomfortable. But when he looked up Hermione’s cheeks were turning pink, and he was pretty confident he saw the faintest of smiles cross her lips before she answered him.
“Er, yeah.”
Draco couldn’t help beaming down at her, his heart racing slightly. “Brilliant.” he nodded. It wasn’t much, but it did mean she fancied him at least somewhat, right? She’d said in the shop that she liked his face, but this was different, it felt different. Draco wasn’t sure.
Hermione’s smile matched his for a moment before it faded slightly, and she stood up. Draco quickly jumped to follow her, but she smiled apologetically, her eyes locked on his for a second and she made a face. “Draco, do you know your…” she trailed off as he blinked down at her, unsure what she was watching.
“What?” he asked. His expression falling slightly.
She shook her head as if to clear it, “Never mind. I—I really do have to go see Harry though. But I…” Hermione bit her lip and Draco had the strangest urge touch it, to pull it away protect it from her teeth. “Will I see you again?”
It was he who needed to clear his head this time, and his throat as he ran a hand over his hair. “Yes, er, yes of course.”
“Okay.” She nodded, backing away, her cheeks rosy again.
Draco echoed her, “Okay.” And a second later she was gone. It struck him for a moment he could have offered to go with her, but would that be too much? He was afraid he might overwhelm her. At any rate she was already gone, likely halfway to the castle by the time he turned around and faced her brother.
Theo was smirking from his bed.
“What?” Draco said, sitting on his own and watching the water through their window.
“Nothing.”
“What? He frowned, it was definitely something. Theo wasn’t much of a smirker, ever.
“You’re fucked.” He answered plainly and Draco rolled his eyes.
“We already knew that. You’re going to have to be more specific as to how.”
“Oi, let’s leave him out of this. I’m talking about my sister.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah oh.” He heard the laughter in his friend’s voice and rolled his eyes again. “What are you going to do?”
“Besides flirt with her?” he shrugged, laughing himself at the stupidity of how that sounded. “How should I know?”
“I think she likes you.” Theo said softer and Draco looked at him.
“You do?”
“Oh, don’t get cocky. I just mean she doesn’t hate you.”
“She doesn’t?” He smiled but it was a question, it felt like one.
“No.” Theo’s answer was short, and Draco felt him watching him for a few moments. “You’re happy.”
That wasn’t a question.
“She’s alive.”
“She’s alive.” And Theo’s smile matched his, though there were tears in his eyes for a few minutes as they watched the sunrise on the lake. “Draco what happened yesterday?” he eventually asked more seriously. “I checked the building, it wasn’t an apothecary, and it had clearly been spelled so that only you two could see it. And then you disappeared, and you never came back. Potter basically carried me back from Hogsmeade because I wouldn’t leave. I watched you go. Where did you go?”
His voice was stern, and Draco’s joy faded as his guilt resurged for what had happened the night before.
“Theo, I have an uncle.” There was no use trying to soften it.
“What?”
“I have an uncle.”
“Draco, what? No you don’t. If you had an uncle I would know.”
“I know.”
“But you think you have an uncle.”
“I know I do.”
“So, you have an uncle, but you’ve just never met him?” there was disbelief in Theo’s tone but Draco didn’t know how to give him what he wanted.
“He said I had.”
“He said?”
“Yes, it was his apothecary.”
Theo’s voice was slightly louder, “So a man kidnaps you and my sister by casting a spell on an abandoned building so only you both will be able to see his lair and you just believe when he says you’re family and you should trust him?”
“I know how it sounds but I do. I trust him.”
“Why?”
“Because—” he looked around, Draco wasn’t sure what for. “Because he thought I would have recognized him. There was surprise written all over his face when I asked for his name.”
“People can fake surprise Draco.”
“I know that.” He snapped.
“But you still trust him?”
Draco didn’t know how to make him understand because frankly he didn’t understand, but something in him wanted to believe Regulus. “I don’t—I…He knew about my father.” He looked at Theo, hoping for him to understand.
“What do you mean?”
“He knew about my father, Theo.”
“About…” Theo didn’t finish his sentence; he knew what Draco meant.
“Yes.”
“And he…” he shrugged as if in question.
“Said he wanted to kill him for it.” Draco didn’t say anything for a moment and Theo’s mouth was slightly open.
No one knew about his father’s temper. Except for Theo and maybe Karkaroff. The rest of Britain saw him as a head of the Wizengamot and Chief Advisor to the minister. Both roles were figureheads, pretending as though he didn’t already have authority over half the country by birthright. It wasn’t like his influence might be affected by it at all, but Lucius Malfoy preferred to keep a clean image in the public eye. If Regulus was even the slightest bit aware of what Draco’s childhood had looked like—something he was confident even Theo knew little about—then that meant at least part of what he said had to be true.
“And he asked about my mother.” He added.
“Your mother?” Theo frowned and Draco nodded.
“I think their cousins. His brother is Sirius Black.”
“The murderer?”
“Alleged.”
Theo rolled his eyes and Draco shrugged.
“Okay, so let’s say you have an uncle. Why are you only hearing from him now? Why’s he come to you now? Why not before?”
“He said he’s supposed to be dead.”
“Supposed to be?”
“Yeah.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“You didn’t ask?” his voice was raised, and Draco found himself growing defensive.
“I was a little preoccupied with the whole getting kidnapped thing, Theo.”
“So what? You just stood there for 10 hours and looked at each other? No one felt the need to talk?”
“Yeah, that and trying to figure out how to help your sister who passed out again because he called her Flower, Theo!”
“He—she—what?!” Theo’s eyes went wide, and he actually stood up from his bed and came forward as if she was in the room with them.
“He called her Flower.”
“Was she okay?”
“I don’t know, eventually of course. But when I tried to help her both times I passed out with her. It’s like I can’t even control it I just—”
“Twice?”
“I—I don’t think he knows.”
“Who?”
“Regulus.”
“Who?”
“My uncle. I don’t think he knows about her condition.”
“What?”
“He seemed completely shocked when it happened. Like he hadn’t expected it.” Draco thought about everything they’d discussed. “Also, he knows about the contract.”
“What contract?” Theo crossed his arms over his chest. He knew, they all knew, surely, he had to remember. Draco didn’t much want to explain.
“My betrothal contract.”
“Your—wait, does that still apply?” he gaped down at him, and Draco leaned back on his hands to look up at him.
“I’d assume yes.”
“But I thought it got invalidated.”
“Yes. But my mum’s never actually let me see it the full list of clauses, but the point they’d broken it on was if one of us died, and obviously, we know now, we’re both alive.”
“So, you’re…” he frowned.
Draco nodded; this whole experience was insane.
Theo huffed a laugh. “You’re engaged.”
“I know.”
“That’s absurd.” He chuckled and Draco’s back felt prickly. It was like a wave washed over him at Theo's casual response and all he could feel was outrage.
“IT'S NOT ABSURD. SHE'S MY SOULMATE.” He snapped, jumping up and glaring at Theo as he walked towards him. It was none of his fucking business whether he thought it was absurd or not. Hermione and he were tied by ancient magic, they didn’t need his bloody approval. Draco’s heart belonged to her, whether she knew it or not.
Theo didn’t answer though, he just watched him, his brows tilted up and something about his strange scrutiny annoyed him.
“Right.” He nodded after a minute had passed. “Of course. Sorry, mate. You're right.”
But as he walked back towards his bed it felt like a bucket of water had been dumped on him. He never yelled at Theo. Theo knew him better than anyone else. Of course he was right. They were teenagers for Merlin's sake. Even in the highest circles it was still a strange experience. Draco didn't understand what had come over him. But just the idea that they should not be together had taken over his mind with anger and now Draco felt cold.
“Theo?” he said, still standing.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“It's fine Draco."
“No, I don’t…it is absurd.” He shook his head. “I’m a fourth year and engaged. I’m engaged to a girl who doesn’t even know it, know me. It’s absolutely absurd, I—” His head started to spin, and he grabbed a jumper from where it was folded on his desk as he shivered. “Theo, I…”
But when he looked back Theo’s gaze was strange again, and he seemed worried as he jumped from his bed across the room and threw a blanket around him. “It’s okay, Draco. You’re okay. I’m not mad.” He shook his head and leaned forward, watching him. “You’re right. And she’s going to love you.”
“But—” he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “What if—"
“She’s going to love you, mate. How could she not?” he seemed to think about it for a moment. “You’re both utter swots, in love with books, and even if she hates that you play quidditch, I mean, look at my parents. You can still work out and be madly in love with everything else about each other. Right?” he looked at him pointedly and Draco nodded, his stomach settling slightly though still churning. “Plus, Harry mentioned the fact that she’s never had a boyfriend before so—"
“What?” he whipped around, his heart beating fast.
“I said she’s never. Which means you have at least a decent shot.” He shook his head, an amused smile crossing his face as he muttered, “So fucked.” But Draco’s mind was focused on the words he’d said before. Boyfriend? Draco had not even considered the chance of other wizards, they were soulmates, Hermione should know that. But of course she didn’t. How could she? And did Draco even really know how soulmates worked? Just because Hermione was his, did that mean he was hers?
Everything felt cold and his head started to spin again as his mind ran in circles and even though he was sitting Draco felt like he might fall over. But then Theo was gripping his shoulders and saying something intently.
“Draco, you’re okay, mate. I said you have a chance.” What? “More than a chance, she likes you. We know that much. Hermione’s not an idiot and she wouldn’t lead you on. It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this.”
But did he? Draco wasn’t sure.