Theodore Nott
“Don’t shout at her.” Draco snapped and Theo stared at him. What was happening right now? “This is absurd and childish. I don’t understand why you find this funny but it’s not. Now, Hermione and I are going to go to the fucking apothecary with or without you. I don’t actually care, but you do not get to shout at her.” And then he took Emmeline’s hand and started walking towards the burnt down pub.
“What the fuck?” Theo said to himself. Why was Draco being an asshole? Why was Emmeline pretending that was a shop? Were they actually going to go in there with the condition it was in? It looked like it could collapse at any moment. Wasn’t part of their soulmate bond thing supposed to be that they would never knowingly put one another in danger? Theo watched in horror as Draco actually led her up the set of rickety charred steps confidently before it hit him.
Something wasn’t right.
Something was wrong.
Draco and Emmeline weren’t lying, Harry and he just couldn’t see it and he was letting his sister walk into some kind of trap. She was going to get taken away from him, again.
“DRACO!” He screamed as his best friend walked through the rickety doorway. “DRACO!” He tried, sprinting towards the building to pull them back. “DRACO STO—”
But they were gone. The building was empty.
There was no one inside.
Where seconds before Draco and his sister had been standing…there was nothing.
“Theo?” Someone said behind him, and he turned around to find Harry Potter watching him from where they’d all been standing moments before. “Theo what’s wrong? They’re just being jerks. They’ll come out in a second.” He shrugged but Theo shook his head.
“They’re gone.”
“What?” Potter asked.
“I SAID THEY’RE GONE.” He shouted because, no.
This couldn’t be happening again.
He couldn’t be losing her again.
He just couldn’t.
It couldn’t be his fault again.
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October 16, 1985
Theo was laying in bed with his covers over his head. He liked sleeping better like that. That way his ears were warm. Sometimes when he slept in the same bed as Emmy, he didn’t have to worry about having cold ears because Emmy got really warm when she slept so he usually felt hot and only put the blanket on his chest.
Tonight she wasn’t sleeping in the same bed as Theo though. In fact it wasn’t even the same room. They had different rooms now. Theo hated that. When they’d been little Mum and Papa had let them share a room together and Theo liked that better because it meant he could talk to Emmy on nights he couldn’t sleep.
Like tonight.
He couldn’t sleep.
He knew this because he’d been trying really really hard for basically the last four hundred hours or so to fall asleep and he couldn’t. He was pretty sure it was because of the cat. The stupid cat. Well, it wasn’t a stupid cat, but it was a dumb cat. Because it snored.
It snored and it snored and it snored and it snored and it wouldn’t let Theo fall asleep. He huffed and turned over on his pillow to stare at the wall.
After what he was pretty sure was another hour had passed Theo decided to give Emmy the cat. Emmy loved Crookshanks. Even if she thought his name was dumb. Theo liked his name. And Crookshanks liked it too because he came whenever Theo called him. So, he sat up in bed. Crookshanks had been sleeping next to him on one of the pillows. Theo’s bed was far to big for him but mummy insisted it was the proper size. He didn’t really think so, but mum was usually right about things so he didn’t tell her that. He had to get out of bed though to pick up Crooks from the other side.
When he did manage to pick him up, he was heavy. Draco said it’s because they fed him too many biscuits and that had made him fat. But Theo knew that wasn’t true. They just gave him biscuits whenever he was being a good cat. And Crookshanks was a really good cat. Papa told him not to worry and that half-kneazles can’t get fat, so Draco was wrong. They just fed him how they always did. But he was heavy for Theo’s tiny body, so he did have to use two hands to pick him up. After a moment he was able to get steady on his feet with the animal and started walking. It was a little tricky when they reached his bedroom door because Theo had to put him down to free a hand to open the door with, and when he put him down Crooks tried to run away and he had to go pick him up while the door closed again, but after the second or third time he got him to stay and then they started walking.
Emmy’s room was right next door to Theo’s, but it was also kind of far. This was because their closets were in between their rooms and Pa said they needed to have their own to fit all of their clothes which meant that the closets were big and the hallway walk between them was long. Especially when Theo was trying to carry Crookshanks with him. As he got closer to Emmy’s room he heard someone talking and Theo wondered whether she had another nightmare.
Emmy had been having nightmares more often lately. Theo was pretty sure it was because they didn't share a room anymore. He wondered for a moment if he should go in, but then he decided he probably should have gone in like forty hours ago if Emmy was upset. It’s not like he was asleep. He listened for a second and it sounded like a grown up in there and Theo realized that probably means Papa was trying to make her feel better. Papa was always trying to help Emmy’s nightmares, Theo wasn’t very good at it.
He went to open the door and realized he doesn’t have any hands. Theo looked around though and knew that if he let Crookshanks down in the hallway this time, there was no way he’d be able to get him back before the door closed again. So, he tried to use his elbows. It took him a second and Crooks scratching his arm a little when he almost dropped him, but he’s able to turn the handle. When he got the door open though he saw a tall man in Emmy’s room, but it wasn’t Papa and Emmy wasn’t awake crying, she was asleep and he’d got her picked up.
Theo frowned, and the man just stared at him. “Who are you?” is the only thing he could think to ask.
“No one.” The tall man grunted.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He said.
“Why do you have Emmy?”
“No reason.” Theo was starting to get nervous. Who was this man? Why did he have Emmy? Where were Mummy and Papa?
“You should put her back.” He said and his voice cracked a little.
The man laughed at him and it made Theo want to cry.
“Put her down.” He said again. A little louder this time.
The man ignored him though. He was looking out the window like he was waiting for something. Theo didn’t want to find out what so he dropped Crookshanks and moved closer.
“Put her down. That’s my sister!” he said as firmly as his voice would let him.
“Shut up kid. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Put her back!” he said and his voice cracked again and Theo knew he was starting to cry. But the man wasn’t putting Emmy back, he was walking towards the window and he was taking Emmy with him. “Put her back!” he pleaded, “Please don’t take Emmy!”
The man laughed again and it wasn’t a nice laugh, it was a mean mocking laugh. The kind grownups use when they think you’ve said something stupid but they’re not going to tell you what.
“Oh yeah? And why should I do that?” he asked and Theo’s eyes go wide. He’s going to take her. He’s going to take Theo’s sister. He can’t take Emmy. Emmys too important.
“You can’t take her! She’s—she’s you can’t take her. Take me!” he says. Yes, take Theo. Theo doesn’t want to be where there’s no Emmy but if there’s no Theo then things will be okay. Emmy will still be here. Mum and Papa might miss him, but he’s pretty sure they want to take in Draco anyway. Draco could replace him. They won’t notice if Theo’s gone. “Don’t take Emmy, take me. She’s the favorite! You can’t take her; everyone will be sad! Please! Take me, put Emmy back, please!” he begs but the man just smirked at him and put a hand in his pocket. Theo hated it. “Please.” He whispered, he couldn’t see anymore because he-he started crying bad but the mean man was just watching him.
He sighed really big and for a moment Theo thinks he’s going to do it, he’s going to let Emmy go and take Theo instead. Everything was going to be okay. Emmy would be safe. But instead, he said softly, “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve any of this, kid.” And then Theo knew why he was reaching in his pocket because he pulled out a wand and pointed it at him and Theo was about to beg him not to but the man just said the words “Stupify.”
And the next thing Theo remembered was waking up on the floor with his Mum kneeling in front of him, trembling through sobs as she begged him to wake up. Papa moving quickly behind her, shouting curse words and all Theo knew was that Emmy and the man were gone, and so was Crookshanks.
Theo didn’t really sleep much after that. He just remembered. He remembered the bad man’s face. He remembered every word the bad man said to him. And he remembered every way he didn’t do enough save his sister.
A week after she’d been taken the Aurors found a body a few kilometres away. A small girl, pale skin, and brunette with curly hair, Mum and Papa had gone to see it. They didn’t say anything when they came back, but Theo knew. His sister was dead, and it was his fault for not saving her.
Papa was never the same again. He didn’t laugh like he used to. He didn’t read anymore. It was almost six months before Theo had been allowed to see Draco again. Even then, Theo didn’t talk for two years after she’d been taken. None of them really did. Until one morning his mum started sobbing and begging him to speak. Begging to hear his voice. Theo wasn’t sure he’d even realized how long it had been, he’d just been existing in a state of sorrow. But seeing his mum sobbing, he tried. He apologized for not saving her daughter. He told her he’d tried his best to get the bad man to take him instead, but he hadn’t let him.
Before he could think in that moment his dad had grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking, and begged him to say it wasn’t true. Told him he loved Theo more than his own life and he would never have chosen one of them over the other, Theo said he understood, but he knew none of them really meant it. He saw the emptiness in their eyes as they stared at him. It was the same emptiness Theo felt in his soul every day without Emmeline.
They started a new life after that. They weren’t happy and they were never the same. But Theo talked sometimes, and his parents did too. They ate quiet meals together every day, each one of them feeling the absence at the fourth chair in their table.
When Theo turned nine his mum said it was time she start to teach him charms for when he would go to Hogwarts in a few years. She said he wasn’t allowed to use a wand, but their manor’s wards made it so he could do small magic. Mum said he was good at it, and she was quite certain he’d be placed in Ravenclaw, Papa gave the first twitch of his lips Theo had seen in years as he said Notts were only sorted into Slytherin. None of them suggested Gryffindor, Theo knew why, he had never been brave enough.
A month later his world ended for the second time in the form of a note. A note written in blood and left on Papa’s desk in his study. Pinned to his desk with a knife like out of a novel. A note that led to the second body the Aurors found an entire month later. This time Theo was the one who went to check it. His mum. If anyone could even call her that anymore. The woman who had raised him and done everything she could to possibly mend their broken home, dead. Murdered. She was almost unrecognizable but Theo knew, he knew his mum.
The next year was both the shortest and longest of his life. Papa was almost manic, he spent every night held up in his office and his days at meetings at the ministry. He wouldn’t talk to Theo though. Wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. Theo was basically alone in the world then. Lady Malfoy would bring Draco over whenever she could, they’d bring food from their elves and insist Theo go outside. Papa wouldn’t talk to her either. Theo knew she had tried, but he’d just stared at her the same way he’d look at Theo, like his mind was blank. Time crawled but ten months later Theo would have given anything to go back and do it all over again. He would have given anything to not have been there, finding his father’s body in his study. Because even an empty Papa was better than a dead one.
The aurors came to the manor and dubbed it a suicide. Told the news it was the work of a man stricken with grief. That Thoros Nott had been so devastated by the loss of his wife and daughter that he couldn’t find it in him to go on. Theo knew the truth though. Papa always said his duty in life was never to the ministry or England, it was not to their bloodline; it was to his family. No matter how broken Papa and he had become, he was still his father. He never would have abandoned him willingly. Theo knew Papa been taken from him too, he just wished whoever it was would kill him as well, and quickly.
But they didn’t. No one came for Theo. Even though he begged Merlin every day that they would so he wouldn’t have to keep waiting, no one came. As his godparents, the Malfoys were the ones assigned to take him in. He moved into their home and the cold walls that comprised it.
He moved in with Draco and they became the only thing either of them had left, and Draco’s mum. She tried her best. Narcissa Malfoy did everything she could to help Theo move forward, but there was nothing to be done. He could only just go through the motions despite how wrong everything felt. Even when Lucius Malfoy informed them a week before they were meant to leave for their first year that they would not in fact be attending Hogwarts, he hadn't cared. When he said he’d enrolled them at the Durmstrang Institute and they were to be grateful for it and not complain, Theo had almost scoffed, like he even had the energy to complain.
Eventually he somehow retained his ability to function like the people around them. He compartmentalized, diving headfirst into his academics until he was in the top of the class. He didn’t speak to the other students, he just worked. Every waking hour was spent with Draco, the two were inseparable as the only people who could understand their grief. Second year he wasn’t sure how, but he woke up and went out for a quidditch team. He got Chaser, Draco got Seeker. In their third year they began a special form of Defense classes taught by Karkaroff and Theo threw himself into them. Deciding he would never let someone be taken from him against his will again, he worked his arse off.
Funny how that one worked out.
---- ---- ---- ----
No. he shook his head. I can’t do this again. Not again. Please not again.
But Emmeline was gone. And she’d taken the one person Theo’d had left with her.
Nononono. Please, please, please come back, he silently begged but they were gone and Theo’s knees were giving out.