Twenty days after New Year's, twenty days after he had promised himself this year would be better, Regulus Black lay in bed unable to move.
How could he already be disappointed, he didn’t even have any expectations.
Groaning he turned to take a look at the clock, 9.31 a.m. getting up at this time didn’t make any sense, he was only allowed to drink coffee after 10.30 in the mornings, at least on the weekends, and how would trying to start coursework even work without coffee.
He suspected Evan and Barty to be at breakfast since both of their beds were empty and their PJs were thrown carelessly on the floor. How much Regulus hated this habit of his friends was inexplicable. Yet for the sake of peacefully living together, he tolerated it.
Thankfully, these two idiots had stopped pestering him about how breakfast was ‘the most important meal of the day’ when he didn't attend it after they had realized that he would simply hex them if they annoyed him with things like that. Pandora had said he couldn’t just threaten people if they said something he didn’t like but where was the fun?
Maybe he should have started writing in the journal Cas had gifted him for his birthday, the last entry were empty resolutions for the year, most of which he had already broken. For example to not be a sad sod, to eat like a normal human being, and to journal at least once every three days. Worked out well, didn’t it?
If he could move himself just enough to get to his wand he could put on some music instead of dealing with his thoughts alone. Slowly he started stretching out his fingers until he had a decent hold on his wand and with a single movement a sad album started blaring out from the record on the small table next to Barty's bed. It was peaceful, well at least until Regulus remembered all the coursework he still had to finish by Monday. Unfortunately, it was already Sunday. After having spent all of yesterday morning with Quidditch practice and a tiny bit of socializing, even if it was only Dorcas and Pandora at lunch, which he actually went to, he had to rest in the afternoon and couldn’t get started on his work.
Why was life so exhausting for him? Everyone else seemed to be dealing with it just fine. Wasn’t school supposed to be the time of his life? If this was the most fun he’d ever have he might just kill himself now.
The sound of the doorknob turning made Regulus jump.
“Is that sad idiot playing this record again?”, Barty was as nice as ever.
“Morning”, he rasped.
“Finally awake, huh?”
Yeah, because that is so much fun., He didn’t say that thought.
Suddenly, Evan was opening his curtains fully.
“ Hey, I was almost still sleeping”
The blond boy just rolled his eyes and replied: “You should thank me! I brought you a cup of coffee”
He placed it on the bedside table careful not to spill anything.
“ Thanks” he whispered, barely audible.
If he just drank the coffee now it would mess up his eating schedule, but he also could not let his friend down like that. Shit, he took a sip. “ I told Ev you’d be happy”
“ Thank you,” He said a little more loudly this time and thankfully Evan and Barty just smiled at him and started looking for their books.
“I think I’ll go to the library later after I’ve gotten up “
While Evan just eyed his friend with a weirdly worried expression Barty actually spoke up: “See you at lunch then, alright?”
Regulus took a moment to consider skipping this meal too, but remembering his friends’ worried looks he decided: “Sure, I will be there”
After he had finished his beverage and gotten dressed, the Slytherin started making his way to the library. It wasn’t full, a few first-years were reading in the corner. On one of the tables in the middle of the room, he saw Lily Evans spreading out her utensils. Regulus had always liked Lily, she was smart, funny, and quiet, not the annoyingly awkward kind but the comfortable and trustworthy kind.
“Oi, Reg, do you want to sit with me?”
“Sure” he smiled at her.
“I didn’t see you at breakfast, did you invade the kitchens again?”, the redhead asked jokingly.
“No, I slept in. Evan brought me a cup of coffee up to our dorm and I had a granola bar on the way here”, it was only partially a lie, so it wasn’t as morally terrible, right?
“That’s nice of him. Marlene woke me up this morning because apparently, I had stolen her favorite nail polish. She found it in her makeup bag five minutes later”, she grimaced “ That was at 6.45, I could've slept for like two more hours. I started reading afterward. What do you have to study today? I'm trying to finish this Charms essay”
“sounds like fun”, he replied sarcastically, “I just have to do something small for potions and then I’m going to get started on my Transfiguration homework”
“Wow, that’s even more boring than mine” she chuckled.
They sat in comfortable silence for the next hour, both working productively to have a free afternoon before the new week started. In Regulus’ opinion, Sundays were the worst days of the entire week, he couldn’t stay up too long, he had homework to do and most of all, he dreaded the upcoming week. This day was bad even for a Sunday, he knew the next few days would be fucking exhausting.
After finally having finished his coursework he spoke up: “Hey Lils, I'm bringing my stuff up to my dorm before lunch starts, see you later!”
“Oh, I didn’t feel the time pass”, after another second she added: “See you soon”
-
The great hall was full of hungry students, chatting and laughing. Regulus already regretted his choice to tag along with Barty and Evan.
Over at the Slytherin table, they sat down, his friends started piling food onto their plates while he was still contemplating which food choice would be the safest and also keep his friends from worrying.
“Could you pass the potatoes?”, Barty's voice crashed through the wall of thoughts.
It took a moment to process, but after that, he finally recognized it was aimed at him.
“Thanks, Reggie”
“Oi, don’t call me that”, the boy gasped.
“ What will you do about it? Hex me?”
“I'll cut your hair while you sleep”
With that, it was Barty's turn to let out a shocked gasp:” You wouldn’t dare!”
“Watch me, Be”
Next to them, Evan started laughing uncontrollably and promptly choked on his juice.
The moment his plate was cleared he decided he would need some time alone.
“Guys, I’m going for a walk, see you later”
“Okay, bye, have fun”
The way to the Room of Requirament was, to Regulus’ luck pretty much empty. The doors swung open and revealed a sofa, bookshelves, and a record player. Laying on the sofa was an open book. Regulus approached it and took a closer look. The title said: ‘A guide to happiness by someone miserable’.
Wow, he thought, that probably was no coincidence.
Merlin, had he actually eaten all of that? Why did he attend lunch again and why couldn’t he just be like any normal person?
That was when his thoughts started spiraling even more, tears stepped into his eyes and his breath hitched. Regulus curled up on the sofa.
Get it together!
A tear fell, then another one.
That was when the door clicked.
Shit!
“Reg?”, wait, was that James?
“Hey, what's wrong?”, the concern wasn’t kept out of his voice.
Oh no, I've disappointed him.
“I'm fine” he managed to say.
“I don’t believe you, you don’t have to talk about it though.” James’ voice was steady and gentle. “Do you want a hug?”
The younger boy nodded. He felt James’ arms sneaking around him. A warmth spread throughout his chest, a hug like that didn’t heal anything, but it sure helped to keep the nasty voices out.
“Merci, mon Soleil”