he hates seeing you like this, distraught, disappointed. your eyes red from crying even though you've stopped doing so before he could pick you up at your place.
you both had a date and as soon as you called him to cancel he knew something was wrong, your voice cracking up, the soft sniffling you tried hard to conceal and the fact you never canceled plans with him before. his reaction was to tell you he was coming over, immediately leaving on his motorcycle in his pajama pants and t-shirt, worry making him too uneasy to even care about changing.
sirius tried talking to you when he got to your place, but you refused to explain, telling him you wanted to go somewhere else. you felt so tired, so suffocated, it seemed the pressure you put on yourself was weighting on your lungs and ready to collapse. who was he to deny a ride anywhere to his girl?
after all, he loved getting the little pink helmet he bought specifically for you and getting you to put it on and the feeling of your arms around his waist as you intertwined your hands on his belly, holding him close as he promised every single time that as long as you kept hugging him like that, he would never drop you.
he led you to the kitchen, sat you around the big table, kissed your forehead and let you breath as he went around looking for snacks you could get a tiny bit of serotonin from.
"a'ight princess, cookies, iced tea and a very, very concerned boyfriend are ready." the food is set in front of you and he sits on the chair by your side, scooching it closer and positioning himself in front of you, your hands are softly taken by his warm ones and you can feel his genuine concern.
you almost feel silly for what you're gonna tell him, he's so kind and loving and and you knew he would never make you feel bad about your feelings. that worry was an automatic defense mechanism for you though, trying to make your sadness less of a big deal than it truly was.
"just... you know, my parents." you let out a deep sigh, he knew what it was already. it wasn't news for him how you felt pressured to always strive to the best as a way to get their approval, never feeling enough, always feeling like a disappointment. families were a touchy topic for sirius, the first time you brought the subject up he told you how they were the wrong ones and how you shouldn't care what they thought of you.
he learned soon enough that was not what you needed from him, you cared and you wouldn't stop caring and wishing to be enough. it had been so long since he cared about what his mum thought of him he almost forgot what it was like. he saw the way you were tearing up again, a few tears falling against your own wishes. the black haired man simply used both his thumbs to clean it up, lifting your chin so you would look straight into his eyes. "hey, hey. you parents love you, and they raised you, and they want what's best for you, right?" you nod into his hand, barely, "so you're more than enough for them. they might show it differently, they might see potential you don't, but they see you and won't ever be disappointed in you for trying your very best."
families are a tricky thing and it wasn't easy for him to navigate through that, his mother was downright abusive, the potters were loving, caring, but still sirius sometimes noticed how fleamont would push james to do more. how remus felt he had to do more to honor his mother. he could see how that type of pressure could lead someone to feel less. he hated that, you were not even close to less anything. you were a lot, in the best way possible.
he pulls you into his lap, hugging you from the side and laying his head on the crook of your neck, taking advantage of the position to kiss your cheek countless times, trying to show through his affections how easy it was to love you, to feel proud of you. he knew you for so little time compared to your parents and he could die by how proud he always felt, how endlessly in awe you made him by how hard you tried at everything you did. "the things i see in you, my love, aren't hidden in some sort of secret place. they are easy to see. to feel. i swear it's not me, it's you, and your folks surely see it too, a'ight?"
you nod again, not knowing how to respond such kind words from him, especially when there wasn't an ounce of hesitance while he spoke, he was so sure, it was a fact, not something he made up to comfort you only. how could you argue with that? if you could feel enough for other people, and if other people told you how great you were, how sweet you were... then your parents saw it too. surely, yeah?
his words calm you down, at least for now, it would be a long way before you could heal the self doubt you had when it came to your parents, but having him by your side... you knew you could do it.