Three Wishes for Lily

“What on earth are you wearing?” Marlene asked, aghast.

James looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. He found his outfit quite nice, actually. The silver sequins on his hat matched his vest’s stitching. “It’s fashionable.”

“It’s very…glittery. What’s with the hat?”

“It’s a ball, Marlene, we’re supposed to dress up. Besides, I imagine Sirius looks worse than I do.”

“Don’t get me started on him”, she said, letting herself fall onto the little bench in his dressing room while he put on his coat. He chuckled. “Do you ever think it’s weird that we’re on dressing room terms?”

She waved him off. “Oh please, you’re entirely clothed. The only scandalous thing about this is how terrible your hair looks again.”

James grinned. “Good, maybe it’ll repel the marriage-minded people tonight.”

“Darling, you’re the prince. Even if you looked like a mole rat, people would still want to marry you. There’s no getting out of this. For any of us, I fear”, she added, gesturing at her extravagant deep red ballgown. “I had plans to stay in and read a book or something tonight, but my parents told me in no uncertain terms that my attendance at this ball is required if I care for my inheritance.”

“Still looking for advantageous matches, are they?” He gestured to her dress. “Mind clearing away some square feet of fabric so that I can join you?”

Marlene rolled her eyes, but made some space and he let himself fall down next to her. “Mother wants me to marry this season. But then again, she said so last year. And the year before that. Besides, unlike some, I don’t have the entire kingdom’s future depending on me, just my family’s social standing.” She raised an eyebrow and James groaned.

“Heaven, don’t remind me. Father gave me another talking to last night, something about responsibility and duties…I think I tuned out most of it.” He sighed. “It’s not that I mind my duties as a prince, really. They can just be a little inconvenient at times, y’know?”

“Yes, poor you. You are a young, good-looking person who has to pick another young, good-looking person to spend a lot of time with. It’s tragic, really.”

“You’re right, there are worse things in life”, James chuckled. “It’s a strange thought, though, the possibility that my future spouse might be attending tonight.”

She hummed. “What do you think they’ll be like?”

He pondered this for a moment. “I don’t know, really. I only know what I’m hoping for - someone who challenges me, who isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m being an idiot, who inspires me to be better. Someone passionate, smart, kind and funny who shares some of my interests, ideally. And - well, I suppose have to be attracted to them.”

Marlene grinned. “So, basically what you’re saying is that you like pretty people who are mean to you.”

“I - what? No!” He paused for a second, thinking back to Regulus’ eyes twinkling in the candlelight as he called him a daft prick. His mind then went, inexplicably, to the girl in the woods, who’d let him on a merry chase, making an absolute fool out of him. And the mystery hunter, stunningly beautiful, effortlessly beating him at his favourite sport with a cocky grin and a snarky comment on their lips. Huh. Maybe he did have a type, after all.

“I mean - maybe I do, yeah. Is that weird?”

“It certainly explains a lot”, she chuckled.

There was a knock on the door, but before anyone could answer, the door opened and Remus burst into the room, clearly distressed.

James sighed. “Yes, do come in”, he said sarcastically.

“I am losing my mind”, Remus panted, a little hysterical. “What does it mean when someone says that your eyes look like molten honey?”

“Molten honey?”

“I’d wager they want to fuck you”, Marlene guessed. “What happened exactly?”

Remus squeezed onto the couch between them and were he not clearly agitated, James would have remarked that really, this couch was not made for three people, especially if one of those people was wearing a ballgown.

“We were smoking on the roof, as always and just…talking normally. As we do. But when I passed him the pipe, he was looking at me really strangely. And he definitely held onto my hand for a weirdly long time. Then I asked what, and then he said, and I quote, have I ever told you that your eyes have the loveliest colour, Moony? Like molten honey and sunlight.”

Marlene snorted. “What a line. I may have to steal that one.”

“And what did you say to that?”, James asked.

Remus wrung his hands. “I don’t know! What does one answer to that? I think I might have honestly blacked out for a few seconds. And then he just cleared his throat and changed the subject.”

“Ha! Blacked out, get it?”

Remus groaned and buried his head in Marlene’s lap. “This is no laughing matter, Prongs! What does this mean?”

Marlene patted his head. “Again, I’d say he wants to fuck you. And considering that we’re talking about Sirius here, I know for a fact that he not only wants to fuck you, but also ride off into the sunset together. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Remus scoffed and she gave him a stern look, never minding that he couldn’t see it. It was the thought that counted, James supposed.

“Oh, you don’t believe me? James, describe Remus’ eyes for me.”

James sat up and looked at Remus, from whose head only his curls were currently visible. He scratched his head. “Uhh, I guess they’re brown?”

“What kind of brown?”

“A…nice one?”

She waved her hand around. “See? No one in their right mind would talk like Sirius did. No one who’s not completely head over heels in love with you.”

Remus slowly lifted his head. “You think so?”

“Absolutely”, James confirmed. “He’s just a idiot.”

“So what should I do about it?”

The prince took a deep breath and stood up, putting his hands on his hips. (He loved giving pep talks. It was one of his specialties.) “First of all, you are going to get off of my couch. Then you’re going to go into your chambers and put on the fanciest clothes you own. I’m talking a vest and a matching hat.”

“And…sequins?”, Remus mused, raising an eyebrow at the prince’s outfit.

“Don’t interrupt me, Lupin. I am elaborating the master plan on how to get your man. Pay attention, will you?” He frowned. “Where was I? Right. Sequins or not, you are going to look your absolute best at this ball tonight. And then you’ll dance with him and while you’re having another round of intense eye contact and sexual tension, you will confess your feelings to him. And you’ll kiss him. And then he’ll most likely cry and propose to you instantly, because he’s a little sap at heart.”

“And if not?”

“Well, if he reacts negatively to your love confession, then I’d advise against kissing him.”

Marlene nudged Remus with her shoulder. “Which he will not. He’s into you, Lupin. Now go on, polish yourself up.”

“I - what am I even going to wear?”

James gestured to the closet behind him. “You can take some of my things. They might be a bit short on you, though.”

“Absolutely not”, Marlene interjected, getting up and pulling Remus up with her. “You will do no such thing. I take back what I said, Sirius will react negatively to your love confession of you do it in a sequin hat. Let’s go, I’ll help you pick something of yours.”

“Sequins are fashionable!”

***

Lily’s good mood vanished as soon as she came back into the drawing room and looked upon the mess on the floor. Sweeping it up would be no problem at all, but the separating of the little grains would probably take her several hours, if not days. So much for the cake, then.

But as always, Minerva had given her sound advice. Because, really, it was no use moping around: Balls would come and go, so would men, and the best course of action was to just try to get her job done as soon as possible so that she could go to bed early.

So Lily sighed, deeply, then crouched down and started picking the little kernels up, one by one, distracting herself with thoughts of where she’d ride off to tomorrow morning when the Lady and her daughter would surely stay in bed for a long time to sleep off their night of dancing and drinking. Maybe she’d pack some food and have a little breakfast down by the riverbank. That sounded nice, right? Granted, this implied that she’d be finished with all of her chores by then, which wasn’t realistic by any means, not if she had to do everything alone. But even though she was sure her friends would be willing to help her out, she couldn’t ask them to lay off their own work to help her sort out the mess she’d gotten herself into.

Her mind wandered back to the ball again, wondering if the dancing had started yet. She had never been inside of the castle, but had heard that it was a sight to behold, apparently.

Not like she was likely to ever step foot in it.

She didn’t mean to be bitter and mopey, truly. It wasn’t in her nature. But the excitement of the last few days had given her a taste of the world outside her tiny cosmos on the estate, outside of the life she was forced to lead, and now going back and facing her harsh reality stung more than ever. Now she wanted more for herself: independency, free time, the freedom to help her friends. And love. The kind her parents had, the kind that made you feel dizzy with happiness, the kind that exited. The kind that felt like coming home after a long day at work.

Maybe she would have found that tonight, maybe not. It didn’t really matter, though, because what really stung her about the situation was being denied the possibility. That’s what it all came down to, she supposed, what this ball represented for her: The life that she had dreamed for herself, the things she wanted, the things her parents had wanted for her, the life that was being denied.

Deep in thought as she was, Lily almost didn’t hear the tapping noise on the window next to her until it came again, this time more insistently.

Confused, she looked up to find a familiar group of doves perched on the outer windowsill, flattering about, waiting to be let in. A grin split her face and she ran over to open up for them.

“Oh, my dear friends. How glad I am to see you! Have you come to help me again? It’s just like last time: the lentils to the left, the corn to the right ” One of the doves landed on her shoulder and gave her earlobe a playful tug, then joined the others over where Lily had, admittedly, not gotten very far with her work yet.

“Truly, I don’t know how to thank you for saving my night!”, she said, breathless with relief as she hurriedly gathered her things to leave.

The rest of her chores was done quickly - over the years Lily had gotten very time-efficient with hanging up, pressing and folding away laundry, so she even had time to give the salon and dining room a quick sweep, making everything look presentable before she climbed up the ladder to visit Hedwig.

The owl greeted her cheerily, even more so when she pulled out some dried meat she’d nicked from the kitchen earlier.

“How are you, love? Everything alright?” The owl answered with a shoo and Lily smiled. “I’m all done with work, can you believe it? I’m planning on having some cake and getting a decent amount of sleep tonight.” She took out the mirror from her box and started cleaning her face off again, trying her best to not think about the ball. Yes, she did have time now, but she was in possession of neither an official invitation nor something decent to wear, so going was out of the question.

Well, the invitation part would not be an obstacle, she supposed, as one could always sneak in, but the dress part was not as easily fixed. Besides, a nice night in would probably be good for her.

She just needed to convince herself of it.

Hedwig cocked her head but otherwise gave no answer, clearly waiting for her to continue. Lily’s smile faded and she sighed.

“It’s just - well, father always said that I would ride to my first ball on Nick. And mother promised to sew me a beautiful ballgown with a veil, along with a coat and pink shoes.” She swallowed against the knot in her throat. “Now all that I have left is Nicholas.”

Hedwig looked at her with sad, intelligent eyes, then gave a ruffle of her feathers and nodded her head. Lily perked up.

“Oh but you’re right! I also have three magic nuts!” She carefully took the little branch out of the jewellery box. “Although, there are actually only two left. Do you think i should take one?”

The owl shooed and Lily broke one nut off the branch, tossing it behind her and closing her eyes. It landed on the wooden floor with a ping!.

Holding her breath, Lily turned around and opened her eyes. To her astonishment, there was a dress on the floor, neatly folded. When she crouched down and gingerly picked it up, her fingers ran along some of the the soft material and she let out a little gasp.

It was a shimmery silver-blueish colour, with a gorgeous pattern stitched all over the body in glittery thread. The sleeves were made of pale pink silk, wide and flowy, matching the intricately worked, patterned pink waistband and the silk train at the back.

It was exactly what she’d always pictured as a little girl - like something straight from her dreams. Like something her mother would have made her. Lily blinked away the tears when she saw the pink coat and heels on the floor next to it and turned to Hedwig.

“Is this really all for me?”, she laughed wetly. The owl flew onto her shoulder and gave her a loving peck on her finger, then motioned to the side of the dress. There was a pocket and, inside, a pink veil.

A thump came from outside and Lily peeked down the ladder to see Nicholas standing there, impatiently nudging the ladder, wearing a pink saddle and reins. It also looked like he’d been brushed: His mane was shimmering in the dusky light.

“Nick?”, she called down, confused. “How did you get here? And who saddled you?”

When Nick gave no answer, she looked at Hedwig, who did the owl equivalent of a cheeky wink.

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief. It seemed she was going to the ball, after all.

***

The staff had really outdone themselves this time, Sirius thought as he looked around the elegantly decorated ballroom, beautifully illuminated by countless candles. It was clear that this ball was a special occasion - evident not only in the fact that even lesser lords and ladies had been invited, but also in the extravagant food and drinks provided and the general atmosphere. Slughorn had even taken it upon himself to announce all guests to the royal family one by one, looking incredibly self-important with his silly hat and scroll.

“Lady Jean Abbott and her sister Belinda.”

The king and queen smiled and nodded their heads, while James gave a tired smile. He was leaning on his father’s throne and looked as though he’d rather be anywhere else. Sirius couldn’t blame him: He was endlessly glad that him and Remus, along with the usual courtiers, were free to stand and watch from the sidelines while the guests bowed and curtsied.

As the introductions continued, he let his eyes wander over the sea of well-dressed noble folk gathered in the room, his mind driftiing off. Several people were eying him with obvious interest, but whether it was interest in his looks or his rumoured wealth, he couldn’t quite say. He found that he wasn’t in the mood for any flirtations tonight, though. Hadn’t been in a long while, actually, despite the rumours around his sexual prowess.

No, now that he thought about it, Sirius hadn’t been actually interested in anyone, like genuinely, I-want-to-court-them-interested, maybe ever.

He liked the attention, of course. Who wouldn’t? It’s nice to feel wanted and funny and attractive. He enjoyed sex as well, he supposed, though it wasn’t always worth the hassle afterwards, what with lovesick people chasing after him and his money.

And though they were wildly exaggerated, Sirius didn’t mind the whispers about his amorous exploits either, because, quite frankly, they were quite entertaining and gave him an image of mystery. Besides, most of the stories were very flattering accounts, so correcting them seemed like wasted effort. And he had actually slept with some of those people, but never really felt any need to keep them around afterwards, especially not to marry. Maybe he’d never been very interested in them as people and more as just another source of validation. At least, that was what Marlene had told him once. And if someone called him heartless because of it - well, he supposed that it might seem that way.

It was just that he already had people in his life that he loved fiercely, so fiercely that there wasn’t much space for anyone else. They were the ones he found interesting, that he chose to spend time with, that he actively kept close to him and would do anything for. James, of course, his brother at heart, the other half of his soul. Regulus, his actual brother, who wasn’t the easiest to get along with, but who Sirius would still walk through literal flames for. Marlene, who he’d come to love quickly and wholeheartedly. And Remus. Most of all Remus. God, how could anyone ever be even remotely as fascinating as Remus? The mere thought was laughable.

Mind you, all of this was not for a lack of trying. There was a time were Sirius really did try to fall in love. He met a nice girl once, who, by all accounts, was perfect for him. Intelligent, beautiful, funny and interesting - yet, all he could find himself thinking about while lying in bed with her was how much he’d like to talk to Remus right now. And then he thought about how weird it was to think about Remus while in bed with someone. Then he thought about this for the next few days, wondering what was wrong with him, unable to listen to anything the girl was saying. It got so bad that the next time, Remus popped into his mind during sex, which was an entirely new level of confusing. He couldn’t look him in the eye for days afterwards and decided that until he’d gotten rid of these confusing thoughts he’d just stay celibate.

That was two years ago. Safe to say, he hadn’t gotten rid of the thoughts.

Sirius hadn’t talked about it with anyone, couldn’t bring himself to. He already felt ashamed of the way he felt about his loved ones, his slightly clingy and obsessive nature. The irrational jealousy, the fear of abandonment (which he was very aware of, thank you very much, no need to point it out). These strange thoughts about Remus were just something else he needed to deal with on his own, suppress and get over. Or, at least, that’s what he thought. It had not gotten better, though. If anything, Remus was now occupying most of his waking thoughts, no matter if in bed or not. Sirius theorised that he’d gotten so up in his own head about it that thinking of him was a habit at this point. An annoying, confusing, time-consuming and quite inconvenient habit. Best not to acknowledge it, he figured, lest he messed this all up somehow.

A girl on the other side of the room caught his eye and winked. She was pretty and, Sirius supposed, if he were even remotely interested he might ask her for a dance, or a stroll through the wintery palace grounds. But he wasn’t interested. Nevertheless, he forced himself to smile back at the girl.

Remus, who was standing next to him, had caught the interaction, letting out a little snort.

“Spotted your next victim?”

He shrugged. “I’m just being friendly.”

“Mhhh-hmm.”

(He looked especially nice tonight, Sirius noted, in his dark blue vest and hat combination. He’d also done something with his curls which made them shine. Were they as soft as they looked?)

Sirius looked up and met his gaze. “Meet me at the wine table in an hour? I have a feeling this will be quite an excruciating evening.”

“Don’t you want to look for your future spouse?”, Remus asked sarcastically.

Sirius leaned onto his arm and grinned up at him. “Oh darling, I couldn’t fathom marrying anyone but you.”

The other man rolled his eyes, smiling, and Sirius beamed.

(When Remus smiled, he had these pretty dimples. They suited him incredibly well, as did the freckles on his nose and the pale scar that ran through one of his eyebrows.)

(He loved making Remus smile, even if he did it while rolling his eyes. Remus had this way of conversing that made you feel like there was nobody else in the room, like you were the only one worth listening to. Being the centre of his attention was a dizzying feeling, one that Sirius had quickly gotten addicted to. Greedy for it as he was, he revelled in having his eyes on him and provoking a reaction from the at times so stoic man. He couldn’t help from making stupid jokes and comments all the time, hoping Remus would notice and grace him with a quirk of his brow or the showing of his dimples.)

“Lady Susannah Evans with her daughter Petunia.” Two women made their way to the throne and Sirius raised an eyebrow. He was no stranger to extravagant hats, but the thing the mother was wearing on her head truly took the cake. The two women curtsied, deeply, making the hat wobble, and he wondered privately if head coverings like that should be allowed this close to candles.

“That thing’s a fire hazard”, Remus hissed into his ear, evidently having the same thought. Slughorn gave a tap with his preceptor’s stick, signalling the next person’s turn, but the mother held her daughter back for another second, throwing a longing look to the throne. The queen’s and king’s smile turned a little tight while Slughorn tapped again, impatiently waving them away to the side.

“Next!”

“It seems that neither of the Prewett twins are in attendance tonight”, Sirius whispered, smirking. “Might you have some clue as to why that is?”

Remus gave him an unimpressed look. “Will you stop bringing him up? I had nothing to do with that.”

“I hear you broke his heart when you ended your courtship last year.”

He sighed. “You misheard. Gideon and I ended our relationship quite amicably, as you well know.”

“Not according to the rumour mill, you didn’t. I hear that you broke up with him because you had feelings for someone else. And now he’s avoiding you where ever he can, even convincing his brother to join him on a supposed important musical business trip just so he can have an excuse to not be here.”

“You of all people should know to not always believe the rumour mill, considering what it’s saying about you lately. Or did you actually have a threesome with both Macdonald siblings last week?”

He smirked, staying silent, and Remus’ jaw dropped. “No!”

“Maybe I did. Why don’t you ask them if you’re so interested?”

“I’m not going to -”

“Shhhh!” One of the other members of the court gave them an annoyed look. Sirius rolled his eyes but held his tongue and returned his attention to the parade of eligible singles in front of him.

“Lord Phillip Johnson and his son, Christopher.” The two men bowed, then joined the rest of the guests on the other side of the room.

There was an odd clicking noise as the next person, a young man, stepped up to the throne. Sirius frowned and looked at Remus, who seemed just as confused as he was. “Are those…”

“Lord Gilderoy Lockhart”, Slughorn read. The man beamed, bowed deeply, and then proceeded to do something very complicated with his feet - some sort of dancing performance.

“Tap shoes, yes”, Remus breathed, a grin spreading over his face. Sirius let out a wheeze, then quickly clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

Even funnier than the impromtu tap dance was the look on the royal family’s faces: While the king and queen were obviously trying very hard to school their expressions into something neutral, James seemed absolutely horrified. If it weren’t all so funny, Sirius would even feel sorry for him.

Maybe, he thought, as he watched the rest of the introductions continue, tonight would not be as boring as he’d initially assumed.

***

“James.”

King Fleamont nudged him gently, ripping James out of the reverie he’d fallen into. He quickly straightened himself up and looked around, only to find that there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. He had developed the unfortunate habit of mentally checking out of important (read: boring) moments at court and realised he had missed the last third of the introductions. In his defense, all these people blended into one another at some point, but he supposed that it was thill inappropriate.

It seemed that it was time for the first dance, gathering from the orchestra readying their instruments and literally everyone in the room looking at him. The eligible singles had gathered in sort of half circle in the room, facing the throne.

The prince, usually not one to shy away from being the center of attention, felt very uneasy with all of these expecting eyes on him, waiting for him to make his move. He realised, once again, the absolute absurdity of his situation: What had he achieved in his life, really, to warrant this kind of attention? It seemed wrong that all these people were here for him, seemingly at his disposal. It made him feel…uneasy, itching in his skin. This was different from when he excelled at hunting, or from when he made clever jokes. This was because of his title and the power it held - power he never wanted less than in this moment. He took a shaky breath and fought the urge to run off and hide.

His father nudged his shoulder again.

“Go on”, he said quietly but firmly.

“I don’t know what to do”, James whispered.

“Pick one of them to dance with you, love”, his mother murmured. “What about that boy in the yellow vest over there?”

“Or the girl with the blue dress, to your right?”, his father added, encouragingly.

How about I go back to my room and take a nap? The prince sighed. “I’ve stopped caring at this point. I’m just going to close my eyes and see who I end up with.” And he did exactly that - close his eyes and walk towards where his potential dance partners had gathered, coming to a stop after counting to ten in his head.

When he opened his eyes, he was met with a girl in a very colourful dress with puffy green sleeves who blinked at him in shock and delight. Before James had more than a moment to take her in or do so much as offer his hand, though, the person next to her pushed himself forward and, consequently, the girl out of his way. It was a strikingly attractive blond man, who grinned at James like he’d won the royal lottery. He was wearing a heavily embellished pink vest and there was not a single golden lock out of place on his head. As he stepped forward, his shoes clicked.

Oh no, James realised with horror. The man with the tap shoes.

Not wasting a second, the man rather abruptly whisked him off into the first dancing formation, leaving the girl standing there, too stunned to speak.

(“Idiot”, Lady Evans said as she rushed to her daughter’s side. “You should have been quicker!”

Petunia pouted, even as another man walked up to her and offered his hand.

“May I?”, he asked. She looked at her mother, who only gave her a shrug as an answer, then let out a deep sigh and joined the man on the dancefloor.)

The music started and so did James’ torment.

See, he was perfectly fine with not leading the dance, considering how little of an expert he was at it. But the way his dancing partner (Gilderoy, he remembered, his name was Gilderoy Lockhart) was manhandling him around was decidedly unpleasant. And a little humiliating, especially when he quite literally picked him up for the next turn and the prince let out a very unmanly squeal of surprise. He looked around desperately, catching eyes with a smirking Sirius and mouthed help me!, but the bastard just cackled and led the girl on his arm into a twirl.

( “I think”, Queen Euphemia mused as she watched her son get carried around the dancefloor, “we might have been wrong about the prince’s type, after all.”

The king’s booming laugh could be heard even over the orchestra.)

Maybe this was some sort of cosmic punishment for years of mischief and privilege, James contemplated as the man started doing some complicated formation which he had definitely never seen before in his life, all while accompanied by the clackity-clack of his shoes. He was way out of his depth, trying and failing to keep up with whatever Lockhart was doing. It was only when he was being led into a turn when he recognised that dance they were, apparently, partaking in. Yes, there was (an albeit very embellished version of) the base step, which meant that they were now going to split up for a moment and turn around the people on their right, respectively.

As James stepped around his neighbour and made to rejoin Lockhart, someone else suddenly swooped in and grabbed his hand, elegantly manoeuvring themselves into his arms and pushing Gilderoy into the man by their side. It was the green-sleeved girl from before.

He blinked, confused, while Lockhart huffed and looked defeated, evidently having no other choice but to go along with the switch, lest he mess up the entire formation. The girl let out a victorious laugh and seamlessly continued the dance.

James felt very much like a pawn in some game of theirs, which was…a little unsettling to say the least. It was just as he’d feared - he was a prize cow, up for auction to the highest bidder. Or, in this case, the most ambitious and ruthless dancer, it seemed. All this squabbling for his attention made him deeply uncomfortable, but he felt helpless to stop it.

And while the green-sleeved girl was a much more agreeable dancer, he still couldn’t truly relax, as he was counting the steps to the dance in his head.

Damn it, maybe he should have practiced this instead of dicking around with his friends.

One, two, and into the formation we go…

He could not wait for this evening to be over.

***

She’d ridden past the royal winter residence before, but Lily had never before dared to come close to it. It felt surreal as she rode through the gates, and it certainly felt that way when Nick, seemingly by instinct, led her away from the other carriages and horses to the foot of a long stone staircase, which appeared to be some sort of back entrance. She jumped off and gave him a loving hug, then hurried up the steps.

(Unbeknownst to her, a familiar white owl had followed Lily and Nick to the castle, unable to resist her curiosity. She was sitting on the very top branch of a tree flanking the building, seemingly waiting for something.

For what, was unclear.)

The steps led to a snowy courtyard, illuminated only by the light coming from the big windows of what was obviously the ballroom, if the loud music was anything to go by. Lily bypassed the heavy doors and the guards eying her curiously, keeping her head down and choosing to take a quick look and assess the situation before jumping into this headfirst.

She blew onto the ice-crusted window and rubbed a small circle onto it, just big enough for her to peek inside.

The party was already in full swing: Rows upon rows of finely-dressed people were twisting and twirling to the elegant music coming from the orchestra. The rest of the crowd was either watching from the side, conversing, or had gathered around the food and drinks section. Lily spotted the king and queen on their thrones, chatting quite animatedly with the court jester.

She was late to the party, apparently, and by a lot. Hopefully, this would allow her to slip into the ballroom unannounced and without attracting to much attention to herself. Because while she did want to catch the prince’s eye, she feared what Lady Evans might do to her should she catch her disobeying her direct orders. Though, a late and unannounced arrival might also have the complete opposite effect and make everyone look at her. And as no one else in the room seemed to be wearing a veil, her disguise might not be as clever as she thought it was. Aside from the fact that it did nothing to hide the quite unique colour of her hair.

She concluded that nothing short of magic would make her stepfamily not recognise her, should they notice her. So, best not to do that, then, I guess?

On further thought, Lily’s plan was as thin and flimsy as the pink veil she planned to hide her face behind, but she’d come too far to turn back now.

And then she saw him - the prince. He looked dashing as ever in his silver and white ensemble (even though she wasn’t sure if the sequins had been the right choice, here), creating a stark contrast to the brown of his skin. He was dancing with a girl, and as she twirled into view Lily took in a sharp breath. It was Petunia.

She felt a pang in her chest as she watched her stepsister beam at the prince, looking like the cat that got the cream. And, to her horror, he smiled right back at her, taking one of her hands and pulling her ever so closer. They looked terribly, frighteningly right together.

Lily’s mood was immediately spoiled. She found herself feeling irrationally hurt and angry, betrayed even, seeing him get along so well with someone who caused her so much pain on a daily basis.

Realistically, she was aware that this was a ball specifically planned so that the prince might find a spouse, which meant that he was probably obligated to dance with most, if not all the eligible singles in attendance. And, really, she was by far not the only person that dreamed of some sort of future with the prince. Just because she, like everyone else in the kingdom, had taken a fancy to him did not mean she had any kind of claim to him. Yes, they’d shared a few conversations and thrilling moments in the forest together, but this did not mean he thought of her as much as she did of him. Or at all, really. He was free to dance with whomever he liked, of course.

But did it have to be her, of all people?

Maybe this was just a coincidence, just one dance out of a hundred she just so managed to catch through the window. Maybe this didn’t mean anything.

Then again, maybe this did mean something. Maybe it meant that she was too late. Idiot. Look at them, a nagging, unkind voice inside of her remarked. Awfully cozy for just one dance, wouldn’t you say?

It would be logical. Petunia was, after all, quite pretty, and if she made an effort, she was even quite nice. Granted, she was daft as a brick and (in Lily’s humble und completely neutral opinion), a boring bitch, but James didn’t know that. And, again, realistically, he would have no reason to think about Lily at all, considering he didn’t even know who she was. And well, even if he knew he’d have no reason to think about her. Because who was she, really? A former lady turned maid, who spent most of her time cleaning and the rest of it running around the woods like a madwoman. She wasn’t really queen material. Without her friends and underneath all these magical clothes she was just a frightened, lonely girl with callouses on her hands who lived in the complete delusion that someday it would all get better. She needed to wake up and face the reality of her situation.

You’re nothing, don’t you ever forget that.

This entire endeavour had been a mistake. She’d been kidding herself. Best to return home now, while she still could.

With tears in her eyes, Lily pulled the hood further down her face and walked back across the courtyard, utterly defeated.

***

The first dance wasn’t even over yet, and James’ feet were hurting already. He suspected his shoes might be a tad too small. Just another uncomfortable aspect to this horrible, horrible evening. Adding onto that, he’d been dancing with his partner for five minutes or so now and both of them had yet to utter a single word, which was starting to get unbearable at this point. He supposed it was only the polite thing to actually try to talk to this girl who had been silently staring and smiling at him. James cleared his throat.

“So, uhm, did you have to travel far to attend tonight?”

“Oh, the distance was no greater than my most fervent desire to dance with you”, the girl said smoothly, her smile staying plastered on.

Great, another suck-up. James had to actively stop himself from rolling his eyes or to look at Sirius for help. He could already tell that this conversation would drain the life from him. This was what he hated about his title - it made everyone talk to him as though they had to flatter him somehow. They never outright said what they wanted, just repeated some phrases they thought he’d like to hear. How was he supposed to get to know anyone like this? James much preferred honesty, people speaking up when he did something stupid. People who actually listened to what he was saying and who weren’t afraid to criticise him. People who saw his quirks and flaws and wanted to talk to him regardless. People who genuinely liked him for his personality, not for who he was and what he could do for them.

After more than twenty years at court, he knew instantly that this girl wasn’t what he was looking for - she was a flatterer of the worst sort, the ones with such practiced manners that there probably wasn’t much else behind it. Except her skilful stealing of dancing partners, of course, which had not endeared her to him one bit.

Nevertheless, he smiled, if a little awkwardly. “Is that so? Even though I keep stepping on your toes?”

She fluttered her lashes and entered the next turn elegantly. “I consider it an honour. I would dance with your highness to the ends of the earth, if you so desired.”

Thankfully for her, she couldn’t see the face he made as she twirled around him. Ugh, what a line. James snorted. “You certainly have a lot of courage.”

The girl smiled so sweetly, he thought he could see some honey dripping from her lips. “I can lend you as much of it as you want, your grace.”

Yeah, no. He had had enough. A little abruptly, the prince let go of her hands. “No thank you, my lady. I don’t make debts”, he said, giving her a quick bow and striding off, leaving the girl stood there with a dumbfounded expression on her face.

(There was a clicking noise, then a gleeful “HA!” in her ear. Gilderoy Lockhart strode by a pouting Petunia, clearly delighting in her failure.)

James made his way to the wine section of the room, having decided that he needed to get significantly drunker to endure this ordeal, but he had no luck: As the last few notes of the first song sounded through the ballroom, a small flock of eligible young people stepped in his way, bowing and curtsying, all of them looking at him in giddy excitement. It seemed they thought he was walking towards them and expected for him to choose another partner. With a sigh (and a longing look to where Marlene and Remus were currently downing some wine and laughing), he plastered on his best prince-like smile and offered his hand to an admittedly quite beautiful blonde girl in a blue dress.

What was the saying again? No rest for the wicked?

***

Nicholas greeted her with a confused quirk of his head.

“This was a stupid idea”, Lily explained through the knot in her throat. When she made to take the reins and jump onto his back, Nick snorted angrily and shook his mane, his hot breath fogging up in the cold air.

“Nick, I want to go home”, she said. “This is pointless.”

He shook his head again and looked at her expectantly. She sniffed. “Alright. He was dancing with Petunia. And it’s just made me realise - what am I even doing? I have no business being here.”

She slumped down onto the first of the steps, ignoring the cold, and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks, trying to regain her composure. After a few minutes of silence (and a few judgemental snorts from her friend), she spoke again.

“What am I trying to do? He would never want me, not really.” The horse gave her a comforting nuzzle to the neck and she continued the rambling. “It’s just - I don’t belong here. I never did. The best I could ask for was to stand outside and watch. And I did, so now it’s time for me to go home and get back to reality.”

When he gave no reaction, she looked up to find Nicholas staring at her, seemingly unimpressed by her reasoning. Is this who you really are?, he seemed to tell her. Someone who’s content with watching from outside, in the cold? Come on, Lily.

He nudged her in the side, clearly signalling her to go back up the stairs again. She stubbornly shook her head, so he nudged her again, hard this time, making her lose balance.

“Oi, Nick!”

Brushing off the snow, Lily got up and begrudgingly climbed back up the stairs, feeling more unsure with every step that she took. Her gloved hand ran along the stone railing and the posts carved into it, counting them, remembering the old children’s game she used to play when she couldn’t decide what to do.

“Should I”, she murmured, tapping the posts one by one, “should I not? Should I, should I not, should I, should I not, should I…” Her finger stilled on the last post, drifting off, debating just giving into her fears and going back down again.

Nicholas gave a loud, exasperated whinny. See? Even the stairs are telling you to go, silly!

Lily sighed. “Alright, alright, I’m going!”

***

“Just go over and ask him to dance, then talk to him”, Marlene told him through a mouthful of bread. True to her word, she’d taken up residence at the food and drinks section of the room almost immediately.

Remus sighed wistfully as he watched Sirius elegantly twirl a boy in a green vest under his arm. “I can’t dance, though.”

She rolled her eyes. “For the last time, it doesn’t matter, Remus. I cannot stress to you how much it does not matter. It’s not about the dance, anyway.”

“But what -”

“If you’re too nervous to dance with Sirius right away, go dance with someone else for a while. With him, for example”, she nodded at a handsome young man in a blue vest who was leaning on the wall opposite of them, “he’s been making eyes at you for the last ten minutes.”

“He has?”

“Oh yes. I’m telling you, you polished up nicely tonight. I reckon half the people in attendance would snog you without a moment’s hesitation.” She blinked, a little surprised, her eyes catching something on the other side of the room.

Remus looked at the man and considered this. “I suppose he is quite attractive.”

“Yes, very attractive”, Marlene said, sounding a little distracted.

“Do you think it might make Sirius jealous if I danced with him?”

“Hmm.”

“It didn’t work last time, though. The thing with Gideon just turned out to be pretty embarrassing in the end. I mean, really - a bard? That was a new low, even for me.”

“Yeah.”

“Should I try regardless?”

“Sure.”

“I just feel that - hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Mhhh-hmm.” Marlene’s eyes were trained on something in the distance.

Remus frowned. “No you’re not.” He followed her line of sight to the other side of the room, where a stunning young woman in a deep green dress was giving Marlene a sultry look. He snorted.

“Who is that?”

“Dorcas Meadowes. The most beautiful woman in the entire kingdom”, she breathed, not breaking eye contact with the girl.

“Meadowes…isn’t that the one who bit James in the arm?”

Marlene grinned, still not looking at him. “Oh I’d love to get bitten by her. God, look at that mouth.”

He laughed. “She is very beautiful, you’re right. I love her dress.”

“Yes, a very nice dress indeed”, Marlene nodded, taking a deep gulp of her wine, “I wish to see her out of it.”

Remus snorted. “I didn not need to know that. Anyway, did you hear what I said?”

“’Mhhh.”

He rolled his eyes. “Marls, can you stop eye-fucking this girl and focus on my problem for a second?”

Exasperated, she tore her eyes away from the girl and turned to him. “Yes, yes, I know, you love him and you’re too scared to say anything. We’ve been focusing on little else this entire evening! Listen, I love you and I feel for you Remus, I really do, and I want the two of you to be happy together. But when I said you need to talk about this, I didn’t mean with me, I meant that you should be speaking to him about it. You know I love helping you, darling, but that’s honestly the only way to resolve any of this.”

Remus made a sheepish face. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ve been talking your ear off, haven’t I?”

She patted his arm. “A little bit, yeah. But it’s alright. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a hot heiress to chat up.” With that, Marlene turned back around and resumed the eye contact with the girl, who’d been watching their conversation with an amused look on her face. She smirked and motioned to the doors with her head, to which the girl blushed and bit her lip. To Remus’ utter astonishment, she then proceeded to actually leave the room, giving Marlene a wink over her shoulder.

He gaped. “What just happened?”

Marlene grinned. “Told you, I chatted her up. Now she’s waiting for me outside that door.”

“But you didn’t say a word!”

“It’s called talent, darling”, she laughed and handed him her goblet of wine, getting up to follow the girl.

“You are my hero!”, Remus yelled after her as she left, laughing and shaking his head. He suddenly felt very inspired to follow his heart and seize the opportunity, as well.

But first he would down both of the wine goblets he was now holding.

***

“Get a hold of yourself”, Lily muttered under your breath as she walked back across the courtyard. “You are intelligent, funny and pretty. You can do this.”

She could totally do this. What did she have to lose, besides the last shred of her dignity? Nothing, really. She’d endured years of torment and hard work, she deserved a night out. And even if she didn’t do all of that work, she’d still be deserving of good things. Her stepmother was wrong and Lily had been wrong for actually letting it get to her for a few moments.

A slight noise at the side of the yard made her stop, frowning, carefully approaching to see what was going on. As she got closer, she saw that it was two girls, furiously kissing against the side of a tree and she let out a surprised little snort before she could stop herself.

With a gasp, they shot apart and looked at her with a shocked expression, the taller, blonde one of the two letting go of her partner’s leg which she’d pulled up around her hip.

“Oh god, I’m terribly sorry. Don’t mind me”, Lily stammered, laughing a little. Then she spotted something and bent down to fish a little golden ring out of where it lay in the snow to her feet, glistening in the moonlight. Grinning, she offered it to the dark-haired woman. “I believe you dropped this?” She gestured to the hoops and stars in her hair.

The woman (who was exceptionally stunning, Lily noted. They were both very beautiful, actually) cleared her throat and took it back with a flustered “yes, thank you”. The blonde girl bit her lip, obviously fighting down a chuckle as she quickly fumbled it back into one of her braids.

“I’ll uh - let you get back to it, then”, Lily said with a grin, giving a little salute. The two other girls nodded and giggled, immediately continuing where they had left off before she interrupted. She shook her head with laughter as she continued towards the entrance to the castle. Good for them.

(”She was hot”, Marlene murmured against the skin of Dorcas’ neck. “Should we ask her to join in?”

“Shut up”, Dorcas replied, laughing breathlessly.)

If the guards outside were confused by her strange behaviour this evening, they didn’t let it show and just nodded at her, holding the doors open to a warmly lit corridor. Inside, there was a horde of staff members, carrying trays of food and empty goblets of wine or just standing around and chatting animatedly. They went silent when she entered and slipped the hood of her head, though, one of them doing a double take and practically falling over himself to help her out of her coat. Lily gave him a smile.

“Thank you”, she said, “which way is the ball?”

The man’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly, before he just gestured down another corridor which was flanked by a row of knights who all turned to look at her curiously as she walked past. She heard exited whispers behind her back, but tried to pay them no mind. If anyone was bothered by her turning up this late, then they could just mind their own business.

(”What exceptional hair!” Alice, one of the servant girls, whispered to her friend Caradoc. “Who is she?”

“No idea”, he hissed back, his gaze following her down the hall.

Their superior, a sour-looking black-haired man, whipped his head around so fast trying to catch a glance at this strange girl that he walked straight into Caradoc’s drink tray, which clattered to the floor with a loud noise. “You klutzy idiot”, he snarled, startled, as the other boy quickly crouched down to pick it up the goblets. For good measure, he also smacked him on the head before hurrying down to the kitchens, leaving Caradoc sat on the floor and rubbing his head while Alice giggled.

"Prick", he muttered.)

The closer Lily got to the big hall, the louder the music and noise got, the more nervous she became. It was a good kind of nervous, though, an energising, exhilarating kind of nervous. This is it. She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, before nodding to the knight guarding the door to open it.

Heart pounding in her ears and a confident expression on her face, Lily stepped into the ballroom.

***

Meanwhile, James had reached his absolute limit.

“Don’t tell me you’re out of breath”, his father joked as he jogged over to his parents. “I’ll let them play something faster.”

“Play whatever you want”, James panted, leaning on his mother’s throne and fanning himself, “I’m done for tonight.” Euphemia patted his hand in sympathy, while Fleamont raised a critical brow, clearly not amused.

They had not noticed the entrance of a strange girl, who was hurriedly fumbling something out of her pocket. Most of their guests had, however, as well as the orchestra, which had stopped playing to watch curiously. A late guest, and an unannounced one at that? This was unheard of.

Impatiently, the king drummed his fingers on the side of his throne. “You better get back out there. You know your duty.”

“Yeah, yeah”, James replied, righting the silver hat which had slid down precariously low on his head.

“I’m serious. This is an order.”

The prince snorted, wisely choosing not to make the rather obvious pun when his father was already agitated. “And I’m telling you, I’m not dancing anymore. I’d rather do anything else…like chop trees.”

“I’ll take your word for it”, his father snapped, raising his voice, “you can start right now!” Upon the king’s exclamation, a hush fell over the crowd, who was now torn between watching the strange girl and the prince scowling at his father and storming out of the hall.

That is, James meant to storm out. But as he threw another dirty look over his shoulder, he happened to quite literally run into someone who was a little preoccupied with pinning some fabric over their face.

“Oof”, he grunted, grabbing them by the shoulders to steady himself, still focused on the exit, “terribly sorry, let me just -“

“Why thank you for the kind greeting, your highness.”

He stopped and turned around fully to take a real look at this person. It was a girl. She had stunning red hair, wore a silver gown and - was that a veil?

“Haven’t we already - I’m sorry, you had just surprised me, is all.”

“Oh. And here I thought you were coming to meet me.”

James blinked confused. Why would he do that? Hadn’t he already danced with just about everyone in this room? And why was she covering her face? Through the pink fabric he could make out some of her features, but only very blurry. Did he know this girl? He felt like his brain wasn’t working correctly.

“I - what? On the contrary, I was actually just leaving.” That’s right, he had important things to do. Chop trees and defy his father.

“I shan’t keep you, then.” His cue to leave.

But for some reason James stayed rooted to the spot. He had a most peculiar feeling, like she was someone special and it was very important that he kept talking to her. On second thought, the trees could wait another minute.

“Well, why ever not?”, he found himself saying. Then, he smiled and offered his hand. “May I have this dance?”

The stranger smiled back. Even though she wore a veil, her smile was striking and James found himself instantly defeated by it. “Wouldn’t it be better with some music?“

He stared dumbly at her for a moment. “Huh.” Right. It was silent. Why was it silent? He looked around. “Why isn’t the music playing, preceptor?”

Slughorn, who had been watching their exchange, flinched and began furiously waving his staff. “Of course, music!”

The orchestra scrambled to pick up their instruments and start another song, while the other guests hurried into formation for the next dance. James bowed, she curtsied and reached out to take his hand and - sparks. Not literal sparks, of course. More like a current of energy where their hands touched. A sudden warmth.

His breath caught in his throat. She’d felt it, too, if her sharp intake of air was anything to go by.

For the fraction of a second, they stood there, looking at each other, before time started again. James felt himself naturally falling into the dance steps, still mesmerised by this strange person: He felt almost greedy, eyes drinking in every detail about her as they started moving together. Her gown had a light pink trail and sleeves, matching the thin fabric covering her face. It clashed wonderfully with the red hair that framed her face, falling out of her pinned-up hairdo, adorned with a little silver diadem and a pink flower. The bodice of her dress was intricately worked, with little threads of silver catching the light every now and then. She moved around him elegantly, clearly knowing the dance far better than he did. Something about her felt almost familiar.

“I don’t remember you from the announcements earlier”, he remarked as soon as he found his voice again, leading her into the first turn of the dance. “Did you just arrive?”

“Yes, I got…held up a little. Apologies for being so late.”

“Oh no, that’s fine, I didn’t mean it like that. Just - I would have remembered you, I think.”

She gave him a coy look over her shoulder. “Is that a compliment, your highness?”

He smirked. “I suppose so, yes. You certainly know how to make an entrance.”

“Well, thank you, I do try. It’s all about creating an air of mystery, you see.”

“Ah”, he said. “Is that what the veil is for?”

Under the pink cloth, he saw a grin spread over her face. “Exactly.”

“So, I assume you won’t take it off?”

“I’m afraid not, sire.”

They separated briefly, turning around the person to their right, before meeting in the middle again. James watched the thin curtain in front of her face sway with her movement, revealing part of her chin. A very lovely chin, if chins could ever be described as lovely. (He might be losing his mind.)

“Even if I were to tell you how terribly rude it is to conceal your face in front of royalty?”

She sighed exaggeratedly. “Even then, my prince. You see, sometimes mystery is all a girl has.”

“I doubt that’s true in your case, my lady.”

The girl snorted, but didn’t comment further. “Where were you off to just now, when you ran into me?”

“Right, that”, James laughed sheepishly, moving to run a hand through his hair (but remembering that he had a hat on at the last second, so all he really did was awkwardly scratch his head. Damn it, he was usually smoother than that). “I believe I was planning on…going to chop some trees.”

She laughed. “Chopping trees? Are you serious?”

A shit-eating grin spread on his face. He loved telling this joke for the first time. “You’re mistaken my lady, Sirius is my best friend. I’m James. But you can find him over there, dancing with who I believe is the Fenwick heir.” He pointed to the other side of the room, where Sirius was twirling a boy in a red vest under his arm. “I can make an introduction, if you’re interested, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be engaged within the week. He just needs to get his head out of his arse. Pardon my language.”

The girl raised her brows, chuckling. “No thank you, an introduction won’t be necessary. That was a truly terrible joke, your highness.”

“Ah! But you’re laughing.”

“I suppose I like terrible jokes.” She smiled. “But really, chopping trees?”

“Didn’t you know? To thank our esteemed guests for attending our ball, the prince personally chops them some firewood.”

She nodded, fighting down a smile. “Of course. A very honourable tradition.”

“Oh yes, I take traditions very seriously. To which estate might I bring you your firewood, by the way?”

“You’re even taking over the delivery? My, you’re a very dedicated prince.”

“Yup, that’s me. Pure dedication to my duties.”

“Didn’t you blow off one of your visits recently in order to run around the woods?”

How did she know that? James cleared his throat. “Well if you must know, I wasn’t running, I was hunting. Another important tradition I honour. And sometimes some of my duties interfere with others.”

“Right”, she grinned, clearly not believing him for a second. He couldn’t help grinning back.

***

"Who is that?" Lady Evans asked her daughter, who had been left at the side of the dancefloor again.

Petunia shrugged. "No idea. I can't see anything with that veil. Why on earth is she wearing that?"

"Maybe she's hiding a big nose underneath it", her mother suggested, making them both giggle.

***

“Oi, Moony!”

Sir Black rather energetically manoeuvred his dance partner to the side of the room where his best friend was dancing. Well, if you could call it dancing, anyway. What Remus did was more along the lines of clumsy swaying.

“Do you know who this girl is?”, Sirius hissed, nodding his head to where James and the mystery guest were dancing.

Remus shrugged. “No clue.”

“I think he’s - what?” His dance partner (whose name Sirius had never really gotten) pulled on his arm, politely but resolutely gesturing for them to move back into formation. Sirius rolled his eyes, then rudely grabbed the blue-vested boy in front of Remus and pushed him into the their arms with a charming smile. “Let’s just switch, then, shall we? Remus and I have important things to discuss.”

Ignoring their annoyed huffs, Sirius took a very confused Remus by the hand, wrapped an arm around his waist and led him into the next dance moves. He was still smiling, while Sir Lupin appeared to be a little flustered.

Remus cleared his throat. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“Dancing with you, clearly.”

“We’ve never danced together before.” What he meant to say was we’ve never been this close before, but he figured that was a strange thing to remark upon.

Sirius frowned. “We haven’t?”

“Not that I recall, no.”

“Well, we are now.”

“Yes, I see that. Though I don’t quite know why.”

Sirius twirled him under his arm with surprising grace, considering how much taller Remus was. It was quite impressive. “This is an emergency council, of course!”

Remus nodded gravely, trying to tame the blush on his cheeks. Sirius didn’t seem to notice this, though. “Of course. And the emergency is…?”

“Prongs! Just look at him.”

He followed Sirius’s gaze and found the man in question still dancing with the redheaded girl, very obviously smitten, if his dopy grin was anything to go by. It made Remus smile fondly.

“What about him?”

“It’s the girl!”

Remus looked again, watching her red hair sway with the music. He supposed she was rather pretty, at least the visible parts of her. But that was surely not what Sirius was talking about.

Across the room, he locked eyes with Marlene, who was sneaking in through a side door and who raised an eyebrow when she noticed who he was dancing with. Dorcas was at her side and gave him a cheery thumbs up, clearly having been told about what was going on. If possible, his face grew even more red.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Sirius huffed impatiently. “He’s falling in love with her. It’s horrible!”

Remus was only half listening to him, though. The bigger part of him was focused on how with Sirius as a partner, the dance seemed to flow naturally all of a sudden. Quite possibly for the first time in his life, Remus was actually getting the steps right. The feeling made him a little dizzy, elated. As if walking on clouds. He cleared his throat. “Right. And this is bad…why?”

“Moony! You can’t possibly be this daft. If James falls in love it’s a complete disaster! It means…chaos! And not the good kind. It could even mean”, and for this part he dramatically leaned in and lowered his voice, ”the end of the marauders as we know them!”

Remus laughed. “Oh, Pads, I don’t think he’ll stop being friends with us just because he might be falling in love.” What a ridiculous thing to be worried about. Sirius was a rather dramatic and ridiculous person, in general. God, I can’t believe I’m in love with him. He couldn’t stop smiling.

“Moony.”

“Padfoot”, Remus imitated him, smirking, “oof, sorry.” He had entered the next turn with a little more enthusiasm than usual, causing them to fall back together much more forcefully. The sudden closeness made his breath hitch.

“I fear you’re not -um”, Sirius said, blinking, clearly caught off guard by their proximity. He didn’t move away, though, just stood there, grey eyes looking up at him. “You’re not…”, he drifted off. His gaze dropped to his lips.

“I’m not what?” Kiss me, kiss me, please for the love of God, just kiss me.

Sirius gulped, meeting his eyes. “I fear you’re not realising the uhm…gravity of the situation.” Then he looked at Remus’ lips again.

Maybe he was too scared. Maybe he was waiting for Remus to make the first move.

Well. If Sirius needed him to be brave, he could be brave. Right?

Just as Remus was gathering all the courage he had to lean in for a kiss, Sirius spoke again, voice raspy. “It would destroy things.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“Love, I mean.”

Remus frowned and took a step back into the regular dance position. Were they still talking about James? Why was he interrupting the moment? They were having a moment, weren’t they?

“It’s just that - well it’s love”, Sirius insisted, clearly not even remotely on the same page about all of this. “Love, Remus! Quite possibly even marriage! The death to every friendship.”

Well. That proved to be an immediate damper to Remus’ mood.

“Is that truly what you think?”

“Yeah, it is. I mean - it makes everything more complicated than it needs to be. Why would you ruin something that you know is good? Do you know what I mean?” And they were definitely not talking about James any longer.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah.” So much for confessing his feelings and living happily ever after, Remus thought. James had been wrong, Marlene had been wrong, everyone had been wrong: Sirius didn’t love him back. He was completely, utterly, excruciatingly alone in all of this.

So perhaps he’d been right about it all along: these kinds of feelings didn’t matter, they should stay in their box, pushed back to the furthest corner of his mind, never spoken about. That was the best solution for everyone, so no one was hurt. That’s pretty much exactly what Sirius had just told him, right?

Except, of course, that he was actually fairly fucking hurt. Right now. All the bloody time.

Remus frowned. Then blinked. “Actually, no.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“I mean that that may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Sirius”, he said.

Sirius gaped at him.

“Love doesn’t destroy things, it makes everything better. You’re just afraid of change.”

“I’m not afraid of change!”

“Yes you fucking are”, Remus hissed, trying his best to not raise his voice in the crowded room.

“You’re so terrified of things changing that you’re not letting either of us be happy. And now you’re trying to stop James from being happy, as well. But honestly, forcing things to stay the same for the sake of it is just plain stupid. You say you don’t want anyone being hurt, but you’re not actually protecting anything. If someone’s already feeling things but isn’t allowed to talk about it, they get hurt just the same.” He let go of their hands to wave his arms around. Now that he had started talking, the words - the truth - just kept tumbling out.

“You say we’re best friends, right? And James is your brother? Then, quite frankly, our friendship should be able to handle a little bit of romantic feelings, otherwise it must not be that profound of a friendship, after all. The important thing is that we talk about it.”

Sirius stared at him with shock at his outburst.

“I’m can’t go along with this charade any more, Sirius. We both need to face this, once and for all, and lay things out in the open. I know what I want. Do you?”

Looking into his eyes, he realised that this was it. The moment he’d dreaded for so long. The truth, finally. He would find out if he’d wasted years of his life pining away, if this was all in his head or if, just maybe -

“I -”, Sirius started, looking up at him with wide grey eyes. He looked terrified, more terrified than Remus had ever seen him. His heart melted a little, feeling terrible that he’d put this expression on his face.

Remus raised his eyebrows, trying to seem encouraging but probably coming across as pleading. “Yes?” His voice sounded strange to his own ears, laced with absolute desperation.

The other man gulped in a shaky breath. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but apparently he could not find any words. Or do anything than look at him like that, eyes full of fear.

When it seemed that his best friend had no answer to what he’d just said (and did not want to use the time to conveniently confess his undying love for him), Remus heaved a deep sigh, shook his head and walked off the dancefloor, right as the last few beats of the song filled the room.

***

“What’s your name?”

For a second, the girl hesitated, blinking at him from under her veil. “It’s Lily”, she then said, softly.

“Lily”, he repeated, smiling, trying out the vowels on his lips. “What a beautiful name.” She smiled back at him and he regretted not being able to see her eyes more clearly. “Thank you. It was my mother’s favourite flower.”

How lovely, he thought, to name your daughter after something you love so dearly. “Is it your favourite flower, too?”

Lily thought about it for a few moments, while letting go of his hand and dancing around the man on her left. “I don’t quite know”, she admitted when she returned, “I guess I haven’t really given it much thought until now. Why do you ask?”

Oh nothing, just thinking about wedding decorations. You could have a lily bouquet, if they are your favourite. Or roses, or violets, or whatever you want, if it made you happy. We could have an entire garden made for them. “Just making conversation”, he replied. What was wrong with him? A few hours ago he dreaded the prospect of marriage, and two minutes with this girl made him giddily plan out the entire thing.

Well, he supposed that this was the entire point of the evening, to find someone he liked enough to marry. But James had always found this concept strange, so he’d boycotted it from the very beginning. Why would he bother to marry anyone if he did not love them? And how unlikely it was, he had thought, to fall in love that quickly.

But this girl - Lily - there was something about her. A single conversation with her and he felt like his entire world had shifted on its axis. He was sure she could sense it, too. A connection, a feeling, like something familiar, long lost, that was found again. He found himself wanting to know every single thing about her: how she liked her tea, her favourite colour, what she thought about sequin hats, where she came from and how exactly she came to waltz into his life all of a sudden and make it so much brighter.

He could not shake the feeling that he’d met her before, somewhere.

They turned with the music and he put a hand on her back to guide her through the next steps. “I suppose the story of my own name seems rather dull, now”, he mused, “I’m only James because my grandfather was. I hope you do not think me dull, too.”

Lily laughed. “Oh no, nobody could you accuse you of being dull.”

“Ah? What could they accuse me of, then?”

“Being a terrible dancer, for one.”

James winced. “I do apologise. I’ve been stepping on your feet a lot, haven’t I?”

“A little”, she said, still laughing, “but it’s alright. I’m made of sturdy stuff.”

***

“My, look how quickly our son forgot about the trees”, the queen mused, watching the prince dance with this red headed girl, completely lost in conversation. The couple didn’t seem to have noticed that the song had ended, much less that everyone around them had changed partners again. The prince had never danced with anyone twice, before.

“Who is she?”, the king asked his wife, “do we know her?”

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”

“She seems rather special. I’ve never seen James this focused on anything. I barely recognise him!”

“He’s only doing what you asked of him.”

“Should we invite her over?”

“Let them dance first, darling.”

“With our slob? I feel rather sorry for the poor girl. Another dance with James and she might rethink the entire thing. We should speak with her and get it under wraps soon, before she changes her mind.”

Euphemia chuckled and patted his shoulder. “Love, you’re even more impatient than your son. And I think he might just surprise you.”

***

“You’re an idiot” Marlene shook her head as she took a sip of her wine.

Sirius groaned, letting himself fall onto the (fairly uncomfortable) chair next to her, taking off his hat to run his hands through his hair. “You don’t even know what happened. I don’t even know what just happened!”

She snorted. “I can make an educated guess: You probably said something stupid.”

When do I not, Sirius thought sullenly. Sighing, he tapped one of the waiters on the shoulder, grabbed a goblet of wine from their tablet and downed it in one go. Then he took another, and downed it as well, ignoring the waiter’s scandalised look. “I was just talking about Prongs.”

Marlene raised an eyebrow.

“I was”, he insisted.

“What exactly did you say?”

“I said that him falling in love with this girl would change everything. He would get married and wouldn’t have time for his friends anymore.”

“Well, this was always going to happen, right? Apparently his majesty wants him to marry. And frankly, it’s about time.”

“No”, Sirius groaned, “you don’t understand. He was going to get out of it. But now he has met her and things will change and everything will go to shit.”

Marlene blinked in confusion, then leaned closer and lowered her voice. “Are you jealous of her? Do you want to marry James?”

“What? No! That’s practically incest, Marlene!” He shrieked while she started laughing. Sirius shuddered with disgust. “Oh, now you’ve gone and put the image in my head. I’m going to be ill. And now I’m remembering him sleeping with my brother, the sick bastard. I can’t believe you knew about that.”

Marlene laughed even harder. “Everyone knew, Sirius. I believe even the king knew.”

“That just makes it worse!”

“Oh stop it. You’re just bitter because your own love life is a mess.”

He scoffed. “And what would you know of romantic success?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Black, I invented romantic success. See her?” She nodded at the other side of the ballroom. He followed her gaze to a stunning girl in a green dress who smirked and gave Marlene a little wave. Her dark skin seemed to almost glow in the candle light and her long black braids were adorned with little rings and stars, making her look positively ethereal. Sirius let out a low whistle.

“She’s a vision, for sure.”

“That’s Dorcas Meadowes”, Marlene said, while keeping eye contact with the girl. “She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. If my information is to be believed, she’s filthy rich, too. And”, she added, turning to him with a shit-eating smirk, “she’s an excellent kisser.”

“You kissed? But the ball just started. We’ve barely had five dances so far!”

“Well, we went outside for some…fresh air. I’m going to be calling on her tomorrow morning, then we’re planning on touring the palace grounds. And afterwards, who knows? If it goes well, I might have to ask my mother for a ring.”

Sirius looked at her, utterly baffled. “What - so you - is it that easy? How did you manage that?”

She shrugged. “I’m clever, pretty, charming and open about my feelings. Unlike you.”

“Oi! I’m very pretty!”

“Not what I meant, love, and you know it”, she said, taking another sip of wine. “Though, to be open about one’s feelings, one has to be aware of them, I suppose.”

Rude! He pouted. “I am aware of my feelings.”

Marlene looked at him, raising her brows. “Are you? It doesn’t seem like it.”

She knows, Sirius realised with a panic. White-hot fear coursed through his veins and he had to take a few moments to process this. Did everyone know? Was he that obvious?

It certainly sounded as if everyone knew he had feelings for Remus, they just didn’t think he knew. Oh god. Was that what Remus had been talking about, just now? And he hadn’t been able to answer, too terrified of the possibility of having read it all wrong. Oh buggering fuck - Remus liked him back. And he now thought he’d rejected him!

He let out a groan ran his hands through his hair again in an effort to calm himself down, failing miserably. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Marlene studied his face intently, then her expression softened. “Oh”, she breathed, sounding a little surprised. “You’re afraid.”

Sirius took a deep breath. “I just -” His voice came out wobbly and he stopped speaking to clear his throat. “I don’t want to ruin things. I always ruin things and this - he - is too precious for that. What if it goes to shit? What if he decides he’s sick of me one day? Or even worse - what if I fuck up and break his heart?”

She sighed deeply. “Sirius, complimenting you is physically painful to me, so I’m only going to say this once: You do not ruin everything. You’re clever and funny and you love so, so deeply. You’re one of the most caring people I’ve ever met if you put the effort in. I know I always say you’re an idiot, but you know we all love you, right? No one’s going to get sick of you.”

“My family did, though”, he said, hating how small his voice sounded.

“And I hate them for putting this thought into your head. The only times you do actually fuck up and hurt others is when you’re being blinded by what those fuckers taught you. Stop thinking about what could go wrong. What if it does work out?”

Sirius sniffed. “But -”

She smacked him over the head. “Stop being a fucking coward.”

“Ow! What kind of a pep talk involves hitting?”

Marlene rolled her eyes. “If you want to be coddled, ask James. Now tell me, are you a coward?”

“…I don’t think so.”

“Then why are you sitting here with me instead of going after what you want?”

He blinked and she took the goblet out of his hand, pushing him off of his chair.

“Chop, chop! Don’t just sit here, get the fuck up and tell him how you feel! Fix this!”

A little dazed, Sirius got up and straightened out his outfit. “Right. Honesty.” He took his hat and placed it back on his head with determination. “I - Thank you, Marls, truly. You’re the best.”

“I know, I know”, she replied, shooing him off. “And I swear, if any one of you ever bother me with this shit again, I’m going to start charging for my advice. Understood?”

He grinned and saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”

***

“So, Lily. What’s your family name? I’m afraid I did not quite catch it.”

“That’s because I haven’t told you.”

“Well, what is it then?”

She grinned. “Do you want to dance or interrogate me?”

“I find it quite important to know your name.”

“And why is that?”

He blushed. “Well - because I’ve just chosen my bride and I need to know who she is.”

Lily let out a laugh. “Hush your highness, someone might hear.”

“So what if they do?” James laughed as he spun her around. “I want to shout it out into the world! That my head’s spinning with happiness, that I’ve fallen in love. That I’ve found the person I want to marry.”

“Haven’t you forgotten something?”

“Forgotten what?”

“To ask the lady if she wants to marry you, too.”

James blinked. “You’d really refuse me?” Being a prince, rejection was obviously not something he encountered very often. He looked like he did not quite know how to react to it.

She smirked, finding that her confidence came easy when she was with him. “I suppose that would be an outrageous impertinence.”

The prince seemingly couldn’t help but grin at her cheek. “So will you? Marry me, I mean.”

“Your highness, you don’t even know me.”

“I may not know who exactly you are, but I know enough about you to like you immensely. And we’ve got a connection unlike anything I’ve experienced before.”

“You seem very sure about this.”

“Well, when you know, you know.”

She paused at the familiar phrase. “Yes, when you know, you know”, she said softly.

“So? Will you do me the honour?”

Lily let go of the prince’s hand, considering the question. She felt very flattered at his sudden proposal, of course. Especially when she herself found him so very kind, charming and handsome (not to mention his royal title). But the prince didn’t know her, not really. Her veil and her late appearance gave her an air of mystery, it made her interesting to him. While she certainly enjoyed the attention, at some point the mystery would fade. Would he like me without all of this?, she wondered.

Did he even remember their earlier meetings? Or did she only catch his attention when she was dressed like a princess?

She scrutinised him from underneath the veil. “First, I want you to solve a riddle for me.

The cheeks are stained with ash, but the chimney sweep it is not.” She had started walking, circling him. When the prince just stared at her dumbly, she continued talking.

“A little hat with feathers, a crossbow over the shoulder, but a hunter it is not.” Again, she looked at him, observing his reaction. He did not seem to get it.

“And finally, a silver dress with a train for the ball, but a princess it is not, my dear sir.”

The prince blinked at her, very confused, thinking the riddle through. But he seemed not to have the slightest idea what she was talking about. Lily supposed the riddle might seem a little nonsensical, but really, he couldn’t be that daft. He had seemed (at least somewhat) intelligent before. Come on, think, she urged him in her mind.

“Well?” For this to work, he needed to understand her. He needed to see her for what she was: a servant, a hunter, a highborn lady. A patchwork of her experiences, good and bad, meticulously stitched together. Hard-working, smart, kind, filled to the brim with love and laughter - but also impatient, stubborn and kind of a bitch sometimes. And if he didn’t, well, then she supposed it wouldn’t make much sense marrying him.

Lily Evans wouldn’t settle for anything less than love, even if that meant rejecting a prince.

“I don’t know”, he admitted.

She sighed. “That’s a pity. As long as you can’t answer my riddle, I have to wish you farewell.”

Without looking back, she ran straight out of the ballroom.