A Smile is worth a Thousand Pranks
Chapter 17
A Smile is worth a Thousand Pranks
So Halloween was fun. From what I can remember of it anyway. I wanted to do something different. Most of the time each house goes and parties on their own. I’ve broken down some barriers as Ive been enjoying Ravenclaw common room more and more and believe it or not I actually got a riddle right. I was buzzing till Alice told me that was a surprisingly easy one. I don’t care though I got it right so I take the win. Maybe the portrait was just trying to be nice to the simply brash lion but I will never know.
So my plan was to get as many people from different houses as possible. I spent a lot of time networking trying to appeal to people. I met some interesting people to say the least. Next I was to work on some way to ward away the teachers while letting everyone else through. Without it being blatantly obvious that there was a ward there. In the end it was something as simply as modifying a anti muggle ward. At least in theory. Later I found that theory put to the test. More in a sec. Now I had my ward, I had the people to come. I needed a venue somewhere I could get a lot of people in with room to dance, beer pong and a table so my favourite game. Shots. In that game there are no winners only very, very drunk people.
This was also going to be my showcase for my new tech. Yes I have finally worked out the kinks and the bugs plaguing my magical TV idea. So I knew I could use magic as a way of powering electronic goods. I had worked on the batteries for my Walkman. Which has been put on sale in a few different shops. Turns out my family have quite a big stake in a few different businesses. One of them is s toy shop in Diagon alley. I had a display designed with a test product. So people could see what your meant to do with it. I also bought a load of different cassettes. Different styles and bands. Something for everyone. And it all sold very well. It could just be the new fad thing but it does seem to be common place to see people walking around with Walkmans and headphones.
The first one I ever saw in the castle was believe it or not a Slytherin. A fourth year that was sitting in the library listening to the Bangles. I couldn’t help but smile. Now when we put them on sale, we said nothing about this being a modified muggle product. It is registered as such but we put that it was a muggle product in such small letters on the back of the boxes that you couldn’t see it unless you had a magnifying glass. Brilliant I know. So all these stupid pure bloods that believe that only they are capable of intellect are using a muggle made music player. It just sounds poetic. And I get to make a pretty penny. Since I credited Snape for his part in making it gets some too. I have noticed he has much better fitting robes recently so I guess he's enjoying to money.
So I have a way of powering the TV. Issue now is how do we get stuff on it. Its not like we can connect to any channels. It might be able to work somewhere the wasn't so much static magic but at the moment Hogwarts gets no TV reception. I took this thought to the Snape and he was helpful. He worked with me on the runes slightly and we managed to get a VHS connected and showing a picture. It was quite a night with me, Hermione and Snape all sit there and brainstorm. He was particularly unagreeable that day and Hermione was on the ball. She noticed things me and Snape hadn't even given two thoughts on yet. It just seemed to piss him off more. They actually had a screaming match and I made popcorn to watch. At the end of the day though it was all for a good cause. Our purse strings.
With Hermione putting in the help here too, she gets a cut. Snape made damn sure it was coming out of my cut but I don’t mind without her we would probably not have done it in time.
While I was venturing around the castle one night I came upon a classroom that looked like it hadn't ben used in years. It looked like it used to be a duelling room or something. It was not yet curfew so I had time. I ran back to the common room and grabbed the twins.
“Guys no time to explain just come with me.” They take a quick glance at each other and nod. They get up and without another word we are on our way. The walk in silence and we get to the classroom. They look around and seem interested purely of the fact that its a room people used to duel in. I spell the door silent and this gets their attention back to me.
“Right Boys. I have an idea. How many people do you think this room could fit in?” They take their time to answer.
“It could easily take the whole of Gryffindor.”
“With plenty of room to spare.”
“You thinking…”
“What I’m thinking…”
“Oh Yes brother dearest.”
“He wants to throw a Big Boy party.” I let them have their little back and forth. I find them funny.
“Think bigger guys.” They look at each other and a feral smile appears, then they turn it on me. I cant help but smile back. We all probably looked darranged. I give them the run down. What I’m planning and what we have to use to make it the best ever. Now I cant pull off the biggest party of the century if I don’t have some help. These guys have thrown some wild nights. They are the best people to come to for this type of thing.
“What do you want us to do?” Happy days.
“I need booze. I can get some but other sources would be useful. We need cups. Places for people to sit, dance and get majorly fucked up.” We spend some time decorating while coming up with ideas. Its well after dark when they start pestering me to see the TV and VHS. They need to to get an idea of the fung sway or some bullshit like that.
With their help we manage to get back to the other side of the castle, back to the dorms. Get the TV and Hi-fi. The problem is they cant be shrunk. It would effect how they operate. I know I tried it once and blew up a TV. It scared the living shit out of me. It was the longest hour of my life. We managed to avoid Flitwick but we had to stun Mrs Norris. Stupid fucking cat always gets in the way. Then she runs off to get her joke of an owner. I don’t know why they keep him. Even I don’t think he's funny. He's just a bitter old man that really shouldn’t be around children. I think I might make it my mission to finally get rid of him. I tell the Twins as such and they agree but with our minds occupied by other things we stick it on the back burner.
The Twins were pretty stoked with it when we got it all sorted and I stuck in a recording of a Glastonbury festival. I think I opened a can of worms there. The moment they saw the crowds they were wanting to go see the real thing. I probably didn’t help. I told them that, “you will have to be careful there are lots of drink, drugs and random hookups. Their faces lit up like a kid I just told, ‘Christmas is now everyday’. Again something for the back burner.
I set my ward up as one of the final things to do, which should have probably been the first but fuck I’m an idiot. The place was decorated and ready to go. We are in a very much unused part of the castle so I’m not to worried about people finding it but I cover the door in charms to stop anyone that isn't supposed to know about it, from knowing about it. The next couple of day me and the Twins get as much intoxicants as we can and set up the tables. They rope their friend Lee Jordan in too. He seems like a nice enough guy but very very loud.
News had gotten around that there was going to be a party but no one knew where it was going to be. People were getting more and more excited as time went on. It looked like the whole school was talking about going. I think the teachers are getting suspicious though. They keep walking in on conversations to find the students immediately stopped talking and acted awkwardly. This in hindsight should have been a red flag for us but damn I was so excited myself I made the mistake of the thinking its going to be okay.
Halloween arrives and we have the feast. Everything is going good. Nothing is mentioned but the professors. Dumbledick does his whole bullshit speal. And we get sent to our dorms. Now we kept secret the destination of the party until the very end. What we did was a bit ingenious but again in hindsight stupid. We had a load of paper aeroplanes with the floor and wing number. We would collect them from there and bring them to the right classroom. The idea behind this was so we could almost vet the people before they go in. This was we can keep out the people we know are going to kick off over something. Not everyone holds their booze well.
The Paper Aeroplanes were in the hallways leading to each of the dorms. Once they saw people they would zoom down on them. Once people realised what it meant we would start having people show up. And it worked. Within fifteen minutes we had over thirty people come and join in. within the hour most of the school had trickled in in groups. Its looking like people got dressed up to. Little did they know how wild it was going to get.
With most people being here I took to the makeshift stage in front of the giant TV and hi-fi system pumping out tune after tune. I turn the volume down getting everyone attention. Some people are wooping and raising a glass of something at me.
“Happy Halloween everyone. Are we having a good time?” The crowd roars at me and I can feel my heart start to increase it pace. I’m not a public speaker but this is my party god damn it and I will make an impression.
“Good, good. Welcome to the very first Annual Halloween Bash. Were we remember those that came before us… by getting ABSOLUTELY WASTED” They scream at me like their lives depend on it and I turn around and turn the music up way to loud.
That was the start of the party. By three in the morning it was still going strong. By six some people had fallen asleep and were just left where they dropped. Or moved out the way a little. I think I hooked up with Fred a little but I’m unsure, its all a bit hazy. By ten in the morning the people that went to sleep the night before were awake and back at it. Th music raged and people danced, sang and laughed none stop. Everyone was now all mixed together. Slytherin and Huffelpuff playing beer pong with another Slytherin and bloody Gryffindor. Never before have I seen all the houses having fun with no issues. Its like this place is neutral ground. Where their worries and strife are left at the door. I’m watching sworn enemies doing shots with each other and throwing their arms over each other. Hell, I even had a go with this Seventh year Slytherin. Bless him he couldn’t hack it. He was one of the first one asleep. Now the party was so much fun and we were all so damn drunk that not one of us thought ‘hey what time is it’. Well that bit us in the arse, let me tell you.
The music just stops when I’m on Goyle's shoulders as I try to wrestle Hermione, who is giggling on the shoulders of Crabb. As hands are locked as we try to push each other off our gallant steeds. We stopped the Jousting when the boys were getting too tired. In the position I’m in I can see over everyone. I lock eyes with the professors when they walk in. I can see them scanning the room. The more they see the more they look to be getting really pissed off. McGonagall looked like she was ready to start murdering us. I notice Flitwick moving into the crowd. Everyone making way. He heads over to the table where we some people were moment before drowning each other in rum. He waves he hand under his nose. Bringing attention to the fact that there was still a large amount of booze still there and a ton of empty bottles just showcasing the amount that has been drunk up to know.
“TO YOUR DORMITORIES THIS INSTANT.” McGonagall shouted. No one said anything it was dead silent. There was just a shuffling of very drunk feet. We were all pretty stunned. I like the rest of them tried to just blend into the crowd. Me and the twins file out all separately. Hermione is on my left and she’s looking like she’s going to burst into tears. I grab her hand in the hopes it helps make her feel better. Tracy is on my right. She looks a bit shaken too but she seems to be managing to stay calm. I grab hers too. She had spend most of the night with me and Hermione. She has kind of slowly drifted in our direction since I talked to her the first day back.
That night Dinner was a tumultuous evening. We were all sat in the great hall. I don’t wan to rock the boat any more than I have so I stay at my own table. Just sitting there I try not to show the nerves but I shouldn’t be worrying so much people are all to worried about themselves at the moment.
“It has come to my attention that there was an Illegal Ball last night.” My eyebrow raises. A Ball? What type of Balls is she going to. That was the party of the century. How can she compare it to a pansy Ball?
“This is not something that can be tolerated. There are six students in the hospital ward showing sign of alcohol poisoning. One with severe dehydration and three more regrowing bones from near fatal falls while stumbling back through the castle. THIS IS A SCHOOL OF LEARNING! Not a place for that type of DEBORTURY! Now I want the names of the students involved in setting it up. I want the names or all of the school will be held responsible. I will have you clean every inch of this castle… without magic.” She lets it sink in for a second. The hall is silent. You could hear a pin drop. I look over at the Twins and they seem to be discussing things. I cant hear them but I have a feeling that they are going to take the blame. I don’t want that. I don’t need to be here. With the grounding that I have, I could leave school now and live the rest of my life pretty chill. I could take what I wanted and never worry again. So if I get expelled then, no biggie. If they get expelled then they will disappoint their family. Probably never find work and be poor their entire life. I make the decision there and then and I stand up. Drawing all attention to me. The Twins look at me and slightly shake my head. I don’t need them going down with me.
“It was me Professor. I set it up. I got the booze and I did the warding. No one else had any part of it.” Snape raises an eyebrow at me. He isn't stupid he knows that I would have help I don’t like to make my life difficult so he knows for sure that there are others. However he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he is happy to see me go, I don’t know. The look on McGonagall’s face is one of shock. I think she thought it was all the Twins idea. In reality it was mine.
“Mr Potter. Head to my Office I will be there shortly.” I don’t hang around I walk down the long tables and head to the large wooden doors. Before I head out. I turn to the rest of student body. I cant help it. A smile breaks through and it stretches out over my face. I know its my final day here so why not leave my mark. I raise both hands and put up a peace sign in each.
“BEST ONE EVER.”
“MR PO…” Whatever she was going to say has been drowned out by the noise. Every single person who was present at the party, gives me a standing ovation. The doors open up behind me and in hobble three kids. These must have been the ones that had broken their legs. They look a bit confused and I just repeat myself but so only they could hear. “Best one ever.” They immediately join in and start jumping up and down as they join the chant. ‘best one ever’ was ringing over and over again. I take it as my cue to leave. At least I left with my head held high and the sound of scraping and shuffling. Life the whole hall was moving as one.
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Its been about an hour since I was told to come to McGonagall’s office. She has yet to grace me with her scolding. I sparked up a bit earlier but its starting to fade away now I’m getting so tense. Why is she taking so long. The doors open and in walks pretty much the entire Staff. Having them at me back while I have to deal with the Deputy Headmistress seemed a bit unfair all things considered. I would have though she was capable of expelling me herself.
“Mr Potter. I know you to be an intelligent child.” Arsehole bitch. “But I think this may be beyond the scope of your abilities.” Huh. It was just a party. What's hard about organising that? “Who were your accomplishes?”
“not hard really. Its not the first party Ive thrown. Why would you assume it was someone else that helped? Is there a reason the whole of the teaching staff is here for this?” using my thumb to point behind me.
“Why you…” I hear behind me. I don’t know who it was but it sounded like sprout. She always was a stickler for conformity. She is a Huffelpuff after all.
“Do you understand the severity of your actions Mr Potter. People could have been seriously hurt. Some students were. What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I think even the people that may have been a bit worse off will still stand by me when I say. It was worth it.” She is looking at me like I just grew another head. “Look I get it you like to do some more posturing and trying to make me feel… whatever it is your trying to but I don’t want to sit here and listen to you go on and on when your just going to expel me anyway.”
She takes stock at what I just said. “Professors would you please leave me to my charge.” the other teachers wanting to get a nose in what was going on seem a bit annoyed they lost their entertainment. Assholes. Everyone gone I’m left just looking at McGonagall, waiting for her to seal my fate.
“Mr Potter I cant begin to emphasise enough how much I am disappointed. I do not understand the attitude towards your elders. We only ever have the best interests of the students. Now first we are not going to expel you. While I find you decision making deployable, I cannot deny the comradary the whole school has shown today.” Huh? I’m lost here. She can obviously see the confusion in my eyes. “Once you made your, oh so grand exit, the school as a whole claimed to be responsible for the organising of this ‘party’. Now I know it is not just you and I will find out who they are and they will also be punished.” Her face turns stern for a moment and I know for a fact she is imagining the Twins. I’m not one for snitching so she wont get nothing from me.
“Now your punishment.” She looks at me over her glasses. A slight smile on her face. I’m guessing she’s enjoying this. “You have the responsibility to organise these events until the end of your tenure.” What? She cant be serious. “You heard me right Mr Potter. It has long be discussed having a return of the Winter Solstice celebrations. The last one we had came to an abrupt halt after some house on house fisticuffs. Last night showed us you are all capable of having a social affair where everyone enjoys themselves. So you talent is being put to use. You shall be arranging the Winter and Halloween celebrations for the next six years. I shall have a list of stipulations and requirements for you by tomorrow evening. Enjoy your the rest of your weekend. I will contact you later in the week to discuss things further.” I know when I’m being dismissed so I get up and leave, still not sure if I just got away with all this or not. A six year punishment though, that must be a record or something.
I join the guys in the common room. There is a lot of chatter and high spirits as I walk in. Then they spot me.
“Harry!” Once one person shouted my name the rest turn all going silent. I think they are waiting on me saying something.
“They say I have to organise the winter and Halloween celebrations till I leave school.” That sets them off. The whole room explodes into cheers and I’m dragged in to have everyone tell me how awesome the party was.
“Hey guys. You miss me?” I walk up to the twins who are sitting off to the side.
“Potter. You are amazing.” Fred is the one that talks first.
“Yeah Harry. Thanks for not dobbing us in.”
“Come on guys, you know I got your back.” They smile at each other and I cant help it I join in. these guys are becoming some of my favourite people. They are fearlessly loyal and guys that really know how to have a good laugh.
“So what happened with McGonagall?”
“As I said to the rest of them. She’s got me in charge of organising the winter solstice celebrations. You know I’m going to need some help with that.” They look puzzled. I’m guessing they have a war going on in their heads. On one hand they get to plan a major party that we could make it into the record books with but then they will be helping the school and become predictive members of the studant body and they have a reputations as scoundrels to keep up with. “Hey if you would prefer not to then that's cool… I guess I will just have to find some other people to fill your boots but mind you that would be a hard challenge. I mean who else could I truly rely on. You will leave some big boots that I might struggle filling.” That did it. The easiest way to the Twin's heart is to flatter them over and over. They cant help it. Its like its their nectar and they are the bees.
With the Twins on my side I don’t need to worry to much about having an awesome shindig but I may have to curve their more radical ideas.
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Its been a few weeks since the most epic Halloween party of all time and things have gone back to normal except for a few differences. I have noticed people seem to be more mixed and matched when it came to the seating arrangements during lunch and dinner. It was no longer just our little rag tag band of merry misfits that join each other at different tables. There is a noticeable amount more and no one is batting an eyelid really. I mean no one of note, there were a few different Slytherin's that have given the groups some foul looks but nothing more than that. Some people are going to be opposed to change but the fact that others aren't means I actually did a good thing. Who would have thought that me just wanting to get pissed and host the best party ever turned out to be something more far reaching.
I have had a few meeting with McGonagall where she has made her point clear on what she expects from the Winter Ball. Her demands were many and I was told that under no circumstances is there to be any alcohol of any kind. This was obviously a big objection of mine as who the fuck are people meant to relax and let their guard down when they are sober and more than likely terrified. We all need a bit of Dutch courage. She didn’t think of it that way and I have been left wanting. So I had to go back to the drawing board. Still not sure how to go about it but I have a few weeks left before Chrimbo and with the lord as my witness we will get shit faced.
The Twins have been getting into the party spirit. They had a winter wonderland theme and already started on decorations. They are going all out again. They still find time for pranking still but it doesn’t feel like they are really putting their heart into it. So I decided to give them a hand. I very smartly recruited a few other second and third years to help them out. Give them a little break, they earned it. When I was asking people, most seem to wanna jump at the chance. So they ended up with plenty of help.
Ive still been spending time with Luna. She’s such a character that I just cant help but like her. She chooses the worst moment to spout some really weird stuff. What surprises me the most is she’s very observant and has an understanding of magic not to dissimilar to my own. Yeah she has the usual rhetoric about how you need words and wand moments but I get the feeling she can see the magic just as clear as I can. It kind of proves my point when I said, the only reason other have to use wands is because they have been told that that is the only way of doing it. The notion never occurred to most witches and wizards that maybe there is another way. A way that is harder to start with, so yeah, you don’t get that instant sense of gratifications that you would with a wand but the more you work at it the easier it becomes.
They way the average magic user uses their magic, they will always have to use incantations and movements. My way I pretty much ask nicely and guild the magic and I get the desired result. No need to mesmerise anything. Just the need to understand the feeling of the flowing magic and how you manipulate it to get what you want.
Getting back to Luna. She had one more incident where she had issues with people but this time it wasn't her own house which was a plus I guess but still not acceptable. It was awful actually. She came down with a hat on and a face that showed utter defeat. Now as I said I like her she is someone I consider a friend and a bit of a younger sibling at this point. So obviously I ask. I probably should have been a bit more subtle about it but I never was one for subtitles when it came to social interactions. I think I must have really suffered with those early years at the Dursley’s. I did research a bit on the effects such trauma has on people and I think its related to that. It also explained that when people hurt the people I love I feel like I have to do something. To protect them. The people I have in my life are there because I want them to be. To have someone upset that balance I take as a personal slight.
So after embarrassing Luna, which makes me feel shit by the way, I vow to work on that next. I got what I needed though. She told us, after a bit of coxing, that it was there fourth year Ravenclaw’s. She told us who there girls were and Alice has already had a run in with these particular mean girls and kicked the shit out of them. I guess they thought Luna was fair game. I might have to change their opinion on that one a little.
Susan Boyd, a rich, prissy little chit, with her nose in the air and a stick up her arse is the ring leader of their little band of mean girls. Now imagine your typical mean girl this is them. Bitchy to the enth degree. Degridating to all they don’t think is worthy to be even near them. So Suzi has these three friends/ lackies. Joules McGroudie, Gretchen Alstacks and Judith Heart. All of them the same soulless Aristocrats from upstanding pure-blood families. Granted the Heart family is considered ‘New Money’ they still hold a bit of sway with the other light families. It just goes to show that no matter what your moral stand you can be a complete cunt all the same.
These girls are on my shit list and one look at the Twins tells me they think the same. Luna made an impression on them too. I ask Fred to take Luna to an empty classroom and get her hair grown back. He has a neat little bon bon sweet that grows your heir stupidly long but it will work great for Luna right now. Bless her cotton socks. They surrounded her, calling her all sorts and Hexed her ears huge and made her bald. Luna’s hair is lush and a signature part of herself so she was devastated. I shrank her ears back to normal size before I sent her off with Fred. I watch as he leaves with her then I get up. One nod towards George and he is at my side as we walk over to the Ravenclaw table.
Alice is with some of her friends and looks at me as I start walking over. She sees where I’m looking and her eyes go wide. She knows this might just kick off. These girls may be twats but they are still talented witches. Ones that might not be cowed but my threats to easily. Whatever, I love a challenge.
I don’t say anything as I abruptly take a seat next to Gretchen and George takes a seat next to Susan. The looks of disgust we get is just beautiful. I enjoy making people like this unhappy its a hobby of mine.
“Ew! What do you two want? We are waaaay out of YOUR league. Just leave before you embarrass yourself.”
“Hahaha. You doing that enough yourself. And just so you know, I don’t like ignorant bimbo bitches. So your safe there.” They all scoff and give me a rebuttal but I silence them with a wave of my wand and I continue. “You will listen and you’ll listen good. You will not bother Luna, Alice or any other member of our illustrious friend group or I will spend every waking hour going out of my way to make your lives a living hell. Me and the Twins have decided that for the rest of the year, you will be added to the top of the list of pranking marks. We will not stop. We cannot be bought and we are relentless. The only way I will change my mind is if you go up to Luna tonight at dinner and beg her forgiveness.” I leave it there and cancel their silence.
“Don't you dare silence us like that again. Do you know who my Father is? You are just a little bug. Do you think I care whether you are the ‘boy who lived’. No I do not. You are beneath me. I can do whatever I want.” Susan. all but huffs out like a child. I cant help but smile. You know the old saying ‘give someone enough robe and they will hang themselves’.
“Okay! If that's how you want this to go don’t say I didn’t warn you. But hey I’m a nice guy so I will give you the option. You have till the end of Dinner tonight to apologise to Luna or we will continue.”
“Continue? What? You haven't done anything?” Joules laughs out at us as she says this. I don’t reply I don’t need to, what will happen next will be my answer. So with a big knowing smile I leave with George. Now in the muggle way of magic you use slight of hand. Here we used the same principle. Great thing about the Twins is I don’t need to tell them what I’m thinking I know for a fact they are always thinking what I’m thinking. So that one little look at George was all he needed to know what I intended. We don’t bother to go back and stay for the rest of breakfast we have a first year to check on. Ginny seems to have noticed and followed us out.
We went there to see it. But from what we were told and the picture that that creepy Creevy boy took was all we needed to get us going into a laughing fit. I have been working with the Twins for the last few weeks on there Skiving Snack boxes they have been making. I seem to be a damn sight better at potions than both of the Twins put together so I fugued out the ratios and dosage for each pastel. I probably saved them years if their notes were anything to go by. They really had only a rudimentary knowledge of potions. Thanks to me wanting to always up Snape Ive become quite adept. Anyway, when I had went with George to the Ravenclaw table, I had talked while George. replace a small tray of sweets that normally accompanied pudding with some of these very pastels.
From what we were told it was complete pandemonium as they couldn’t fugue out why people were spontaneously turning into half men, half Canaries. The picture was fab and I am starting to really appreciate little Creevy and his awesome ability to catch some wicked shots. I just wish he didn’t always aim the bloody camera at me. This time though it was gold. And something to share on the notice board for all to see. We really need to start a scrap book for this type of thing. It would be nice to look back on when we are old and incapable.